Are You Going to Pay for Your Kids' College?

[monarch64]

Are you currently paying for their education? Did you? Discuss.

 

[Sparklelu]

Yes and no.
My oldest two both got a combo of financial aid in their names and scholarships. When that fell short we helped fill in the gap. Probably 1-3 grand a year, between the two. There was a 2 year period where they were both in FSU. So a bit more I guess.

DS is in college right now. Because he has a SLD( specific learning disability, and had an IEP in HS he qualified for services through VOcational Rehabilitation.)
VR covers all tuition and fees as well as books for any state school in Florida! He opted to go to USF so we are paying for his apartment. He keeps his VR money as long as he maintains a 3.0 GPA, he has to carry at least 12 credits. He can't work and take math at the same time so until he gets all his Math out if the way, no job for him


I was told by a financial advisor a while ago, you can finance college, you can't finance your retirement!

I think kids actually do better when they gave some skin in the fame. That they are wasting their own money when the slack off in school.

 

[amc80]

Probably not. I would like to help them with living expenses, but they will probably have to pay for tuition on their own. I did it. DH joined the military and got the GI Bill, so that's how he did it.

 

[baby monster]

We will. My parents paid the difference between my scholarship and the full tuition at a private college so I expect to do the same. I picked the school they could afford instead of going to a more expensive and prestigious one. My father was adamant about me not starting my adult life with debt.

 

[Mayk]

I did Florida Pre-Paid.... So I guess I'm for sure covering tuition.

 

[ericad]

My DD's undergrad is already paid for (she's via contributions to Washington state's GET program that we and her grandparents have made since she was born, assuming she goes to a public university. If she wants to go private, I would do what I could to talk her out of it and she'd have to cover the difference. If she chooses to go to JC for the first couple of years, or gets any kind of scholarship, then the funds stretch even farther!

My parents paid for my undergraduate education and I will pay for hers, happily. For graduate school, it really depends on what we're able to do. If we can help her, we will, if not then she can find another way to finance an advanced degree.

 

[yssie]

Yes.

We plan to cover their uni tuition (undergraduate) in full, wherever they want to go, if we are at all able. Our parents paid for ours and not leaving school and beginning our engagement saddled with student debt was the greatest, most generous gift they could've given us.

Grad degrees are on them, if they want them - either they make the connections to find the positions in promising labs/programmes and earn the grades to get merit-based grants and scholarships, which are much easier to come by for grad school than for undergrad, or they save up and pay their own ways...


ETA: I have to wonder just how useful college degrees will be in ten, fifteen, twenty years. The market is saturated with college grads and already in many fields a four-year degree isn't a bonus, it's the bare minimum necessary to qualify as an applicant! I'll wager that one result of that will be people beginning to weigh other factors, like prestige, more heavily, especially wrt. entry-level opportunities. And one result of that will be more people choosing more cost-effective paths like technical schools and two-year programmes, but I don't see that becoming a traditionally accepted alternative in the next twenty or so years before my (future) kids go to college.

 

[monarch64]

We started our kiddo's college fund when she was born, so we will be paying for her education. However, we won't be telling her that until she actually needs to know.

 

[MissGotRocks]

We paid for both of ours to go. They worked summers and some during school and bought their books, paid their car insurance and spending money (for the most part). We paid tuition and room and board or apt. rent. We paid as they went and fortunately, they were four school years apart. It was something we were very committed to but once they were through school, they were on their own. We paid the bulk of it but wanted them financially involved in the process as well. My daughter went on to get her masters after she was working and she paid for that on her own but it was somewhat employer subsidized.

I think they both in their own way realized the gift of it after graduation. Friends were having to balance their living expenses with college loans - not always an easy task. I think they then began to fully realize and appreciate their educations and blank balance sheets.

 

[ihy138]

I paid for undergrad and grad school myself. I use the term "paid" loosely because I had a combination of scholarships, grants, and loans. My parents helped me where they could, but the burden was my own. I would have never allowed my parents to put themselves into poverty to pay for my schooling. I come from a very modest household and decided I wanted to go to a private university both times. Sometimes I wonder if that was the right choice. I think it made me work all that much harder because the stakes were higher. I had to maintain my scholarships and it would really kill me if I had to pay to take a course again because of not doing well. When my husband and I decide to have kids and they go to college, I would repeat the pattern and help where we can. I don't foresee us being able to finance an education in its entirety (because of our own student loan debt). And I'm sure the cycle will continue.

 

[Circe]

Yes, though I have mixed feelings about it.

I think the ballooning cost of a college education in this country is obscene (and I say this as a prof who worked for a university where they HAD to spend every penny of their funding if they wanted to have it matched next year ... so they kept building, kept expanding, and kept buying unnecessary items while paying their employees jack ... though, to be fair, the president of the university got a nice raise and was earning half a mil ).

I've also seen my friends who went to Ivy's, and compared their experience to my own. I attended a city college - which my parents did pay for, though I believe my total college education cost less than 10k - worked my ass off, graduated valedictorian, got grants, and emerged from my Ph.D. debt-free. Compared to my friends who took out loans for their expensive undergrad educations, I am MUCH better off, even if I had fewer opportunities to play croquet. Compared to the ones whose parents paid out of pocket, I'm on a level playing field financially, somewhat behind in terms of connections, and all over the map emotionally (I am not generalizing, but I know a few people who've never had to worry about a dime whose political perspectives and ability to feel empathy for those less fortunate are somewhat damaged).

We started our kid's college fund the day he was born. We're not telling him about it until the time comes. I want him to factor this stuff in when making his decisions. I also want him to know it's a lump sum: if he opts to do something else, he'll get the cash as seed money for it, whatever it is. Given that he also has Swedish citizenship, I hope he makes the sensible decision to get a free education AND a wad of cash from us to go invent/start/open his whatever ... but if he really, really, really wants to spend 4 years at Harvey Mudd or wherever, I will support him wholeheartedly. I would NOT let him go into debt at the age of 18, before he knew what he wanted in the long-term.

 

[ihy138]

We paid for both of ours to go. They worked summers and some during school and bought their books, paid their car insurance and spending money (for the most part). We paid tuition and room and board or apt. rent. We paid as they went and fortunately, they were four school years apart. It was something we were very committed to but once they were through school, they were on their own. We paid the bulk of it but wanted them financially involved in the process as well. My daughter went on to get her masters after she was working and she paid for that on her own but it was somewhat employer subsidized.

I think they both in their own way realized the gift of it after graduation. Friends were having to balance their living expenses with college loans - not always an easy task. I think they then began to fully realize and appreciate their educations and blank balance sheets.

Glad your children appreciate that! I can't tell you how many of my peers (around age 25) already own their own homes and my husband and I are still renting.

 

[ruby59]

We paid/are paying/will pay for all 3 of our children just as our parents did for us. I do have to say our children worked/work very hard in school so they all qualified/will qualify for academic scholarships - at least 1/2 to 3/4 off. We feel it is one of our most important gifts to them to set them off to financial independence.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Are you currently paying for their education? Did you? Discuss.

Yes and yes. We pay for their undergraduate degrees, and daughter #2 just now started her nursing classes, more tuitions and books to pay...

 

[Harpertoo]

We will/have.
My daughter is only 7, but we completed the fund and started to talk to her about it.
I want her to understand the process and be comfortable planning.
I've also started to talk to her about money and spending in general....but that's another thread.

 

[Laila619]

We will contribute as much as we comfortably can.

 

[ruby59]

Books are so expensive, even the used ones. You can also rent them, but mine like to highlight passages so it is not an option. Just gave second child a check for $1,000 to cover books for second semester. We will probably get only a 10th of that back when the school buys them back in May. Thankfully, this one lives at home, so we at least saved on room and board and the meal plan.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Yes. I had college funds started for each of my kids since they were in the womwb, but like many of the others have stated. I would like them to apply for scholarships/grants as well, and i'd cover the difference where needed.

 

[sphenequeen]

Although I paid for undergraduate and graduate school by myself, I have every intention of paying for my son's schooling. He is not even 2 but we already started a savings account for this very reason. It is also one of the reasons that we will most likely only have one child - so that we can afford to send him off to college.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

We plan to pay so long as:
1. We can afford to (college savings is in place, so we are planning for it)
2. Our kids don't have an entitled attitude about it

Like ihy, I came from a modest background. And I had my heart set on a private school because I thought that if I got the "right" education, I had a better chance of making more money. I didn't want to be poor anymore, so in my backwards teenage thinking I assumed that if I went into debt for school, I would graduate, make a lot of money and pay the debt back quickly. In the end, I just started out life in a financial hole. I don't want that for my kids.

I'm on the fence about telling our kids (one day) that we have money set aside for them. I think we'll play that one by ear. I don't want for them to start out life in debt, but I also won't be giving them their own credit cards. If I thought my kids were acting entitled, I really would have no issue cutting them off.

 

[momhappy]

We don't know yet. My husband and I both paid our way through college (and I mean ALL the way - not a dime from parents). We sort of feel like it gives it a lot of meaning/value when you actually earn it yourself. We have the financial means to pay for our children's education, but we're just not sure that we want to. There's nothing wrong with student loans and working your way through school.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I think this country doesn't do enough to make college affordable - who does it benefit except the country? We don't do enough to educate our young or care for our elderly - don't get me started!

And the books, give me a break! Those textbooks are so expensive and you get pennies on the dollar when you sell them back. I can't tell you how many supplemental materials were called for and bought that were never used in the class. Oughta be a law - lol!

 

[packrat]

Doubtful. We took a huge pay cut when JD switched jobs, and I don't make much either. I paid for the schooling I have, not that it's a lot or anything. I would like to be able to, to give our kids the start/advantage that I never had...my parents could have afforded to do it for us, but chose not to. I'm hoping we're in a better position by the time the kids are older.

 

[monarch64]

We will/have.
My daughter is only 7, but we completed the fund and started to talk to her about it.
I want her to understand the process and be comfortable planning.
I've also started to talk to her about money and spending in general....but that's another thread.

This is a really interesting (in a good way) approach, harpertoo. I mentioned above we have begun a fund for our daughter but she's very young (under 2) still and my thoughts have only gone so far as not to tell her that we will pay for some or all of her college education. I hadn't worked out exactly how we would incorporate planning, or saying well, we can do x amount, so you'll have to choose a school that amount will cover, etc. Your way sounds really healthy!

For the record, my family paid for my college and all associated expenses. A relative had left my sibling and me a lump sum of cash to be used for education. My parents made that clear to us from the time we were pretty young (I was in 2nd grade when I remember my mother telling me this) but we never talked about budgeting/money/spending. When I was in high school taking SAT's and thinking about what the hell I *felt* like doing for the next few decades, I just didn't worry too much about any of it, and I was a really lazy student. So my thought process has always consisted of: save money, don't tell her, encourage her to compete for scholarships, then...what? SURPRISE! You won the lottery!???

Anyway, thanks for offering your perspective. Very helpful. I've also heard of people saying, we'll pay for the first semester, but anything after that is dependent upon your grades. Not sure how I feel about that.

Circe, really enjoyed your response as well.

 

[anne_h]

Yes. I setup investment programs for each child shortly after their births.

I did not have a traditional post-secondary education because my parents chose not to contribute and I was scared to take on large debts. At 18, I didn't have the long-term view to make that kind of decision. So while I am successful now professionally and financially, I had to take an alternative path to get here.

Although I believe my kids could get through college on their own if they so chose, we think it's nice to help them out. My oldest is very clear that we will be 'helping' him and that not all kids will have this kind of support.

In Canada, we have the option of something called an RESP (Registered Education Savings Plan). The government will contribute up to $500 per child per year if the parents contribute a certain minimum.

If for some reason not all the money is used, our contributions can be rolled over into our retirement plans.

So far, the kids' investments are growing well, and I enjoy showing off the progress to my husband. lol

Anne

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

My Mother did not help me and my Husband's parents did not help him. We also knew nothing about college since neither of our parents went and boy do we regret a lot of things. Given how much debt my husband ended up with we would have never bothered having him go to college, he would have been much better off going into sanitation honestly. I don't regret my private school education because it's what got me into my grad program and got me my job. Paying for it has been misery but I had to do it. We are nearing thirty and won't be able to afford a home for about 5 more years. NY is an expensive place after all. We have been putting off having children because of our debt but we are biting the bullet by the end of the year anyway, can't wait forever!

As it stands I absolutely will save for my children to go to school. As soon as I'm pregnant that 529 savings plan will begin. I don't want them to deal with the same misery that I have. I certainly would still expect my children to be responsible in their choices and make sure they are actually ready and dedicated to schooling before I spend that money, even if they decide to use it for a technical program that's fine with me. Hopefully I'll be starting that 529 at the end of the year and then I'll really know how I feel!

 

[JaneSmith]

Like a couple of others here, we will be paying for university, but we are not telling her until she's a teen and done a little financial planning and felt a little pressure.

I put myself through university with a combo of jobs and loans. Fortunately I was able to pay off (<10k) my loans within the first year working. And I was a naughty student who bought a car and went on a trip with my loan money!

 

[rosetta]

Yes, if we ever have any kids!

University fees are currently only 9k a year, which I'm sure will go up, but we can easily afford it for a 3 year degree without saving up, so I don't see why we shouldn't. My parents did it for me. There were no uni fees when my husband went to uni. I'd want them to get a job to pay for living costs though: learn a bit of fiscal responsibility!

It's the 20k per year for private primary and secondary school that'll be the much bigger expense.

 

[jstarfireb]

Yes.

We plan to cover their uni tuition (undergraduate) in full, wherever they want to go, if we are at all able. Our parents paid for ours and not leaving school and beginning our engagement saddled with student debt was the greatest, most generous gift they could've given us.

This! I don't have kids, but if I change my mind about that, I would do what my parents did for me, provided I have the means in the face of the ludicrous tuition hikes. They covered tuition and living expenses so I could graduate without debt. I would start a savings account at birth and encourage them to seek scholarships, but not all schools provide merit-based scholarships (mine did not). Like my parents, I value education very highly and don't want there to be any barriers to pursuing higher education. I would also pay for grad/med/law/etc school. Yssie mentioned that it's easier to find scholarships for grad school, but that's not actually true for medical school - it's nearly impossible to find non-need based scholarships for medical school.

 

[yssie]

Yes.

We plan to cover their uni tuition (undergraduate) in full, wherever they want to go, if we are at all able. Our parents paid for ours and not leaving school and beginning our engagement saddled with student debt was the greatest, most generous gift they could've given us.

This! I don't have kids, but if I change my mind about that, I would do what my parents did for me, provided I have the means in the face of the ludicrous tuition hikes. They covered tuition and living expenses so I could graduate without debt. I would start a savings account at birth and encourage them to seek scholarships, but not all schools provide merit-based scholarships (mine did not). Like my parents, I value education very highly and don't want there to be any barriers to pursuing higher education. I would also pay for grad/med/law/etc school. Yssie mentioned that it's easier to find scholarships for grad school, but that's not actually true for medical school - it's nearly impossible to find non-need based scholarships for medical school.

Oh that's very true!! Most grad programmes are easier to find funding for but merit-based scholarships and grants for med school and law school are pretty much non-existent, I think And like you, we'd want to help as much as possible with those, too.