Help! Please let me vent to you all!

[MichelleCarmen]

She defriended you and this has upset you?

Now, I realize that you have invested time and effort on her behalf . . . but . . . you have been set free. Rejoice, already.

Soooo true! Holly is right. You have been set free.

Sounds like this gal wasn't a friend, but a user. Nothing better than not having them add stress in your life. Move on.

 

[AprilBaby]

Yay! You are free! Run and don't look back!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I agree with the others in regards to blocking her. The two of you would both be better off if you just ended the relationship in its entirety.

Just to add to the others who suggested blocking her...this is the BEST way to make sure you don't go around this again.

Most of us have encountered users at one point or another and you have end it for good. There is a parent at our school and she would dump all her problems on me and it took me a few years of listening to her to realize that she fit the profile of a narcissist. Everything was about her and she sucked people and took all she could. The breaking point was when she asked me to be her "assistant" aka baby sitter to help watch all the kids who would be doing a school event (which my kids were not participating in) and it required me to volunteer 8 hours. I said no. She then quit talking to me. Aside from a couple hellos to each other, we didn't talk for over a year. Then, in Dec, I found out that a kid in class had been making threatening comments to the woman's daughter so I told her out of concern. Her response was she needed someone to watch both her kids for ANOTHER all day event coming up during the month because she had other stuff to do?!?!?! These people do not change.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Be glad! You have been given a gift! Exit stage left and never look back!

 

[bliss_cathy]

It's easy to see how you'd feel used, but I don't think she thought she was using you. I'm guessing all of her friendships (if she has many/any) operate the same way yours did. For some people that is just the way they know how to be friends. She leans on you heavily for support because her life seems chaotic and she is continually cast in the role of victim. Sooner or later people like you see it what it is and peace out...which is probably why she's often alone and without lasting relationships.

With that said, you told her things she didn't want to hear, but she already knew them, at least on some level. But when you made her face them, you backed her into a corner and she, rather than address your concerns proactively, "broke up" with you. Are you really surprised? It happens all the time, especially in friendships like the one you've described. She craves sympathy, understanding and her version of support (i.e: show up, listen, take care of me, never say a cross word towards/against me)...you could no longer offer those things her, ergo you are not a "true friend."

Now you're free. Congratulations. People like that take up space in our lives with their bullsh*t to no end (like that book "When You Give a Mouse a Cookie" -- no matter how many problems of hers you'd solve, there is another problem just waiting to shake free. But still, I get why you'd be upset...you invested into a friendship and it was all for not. So it's now time to move on. Your friendship wasn't the sort you enjoyed anyway. It only "feels" like a loss.

I think this has some truth to it, at least I like to think so. I don't like to think people actively go out trying to use people, rather it happens as a result of the fact they aren't in control anymore. Either way however I will be blocking/ignoring etc, as it's just at the point of ridiculousness. I think she does need a therapist as well, not a friend!!

 

[bliss_cathy]

Thanks everyone for the advice!

I will block her and feel resolved in myself in that I have been a good friend and person and leave the friendship knowing that. I am also relieved that I do not need to hear her dramas or delusions or crazy and have to sympathise with her negative thoughts. I always really and truly disliked that.

Good bye crazy friend though I will never say to your face what I really think (for fear of the repercussions) the lovely people of PS did!)

PS: I just blocked her on FB!

 

[movie zombie]

.......Good bye crazy friend though I will never say to your face what I really think (for fear of the repercussions) the lovely people of PS did!)
PS: I just blocked her on FB!

oh, I like that lots!
I hope you say it out loud over and over if you ever begin to doubt yourself!

 

[arkieb1]

People like this drain all of us of positive energy, that is what she was doing to you. You seem like a wonderful person for trying to help her but the hours you have put into worrying about her is having a negative impact on you. Sometimes in life we have to know when to cut the cords of relationships that don't work or add anything to our lives and move on.

The fact she demanded you reinforce her sickness means she is co-dependant on people maintaining this negative place she is in her life. Bad things happen to all of us in life but the only thing that differentiates people is how well we deal with them and move forward. The fact she wasn't a "good friend" anyway suggests that it was mostly one sided ie she expects you to be there for her but is rarely if ever there for you.

 

[KaeKae]

I apologize if this has already been said:

In her passive aggressive action, she did you a favor. Now you don't even have to think about stepping back from her user behavior.

As a result of the unfriending, I suggest you do nothing, say nothing (not that I think you were going to.) What the drama queen wants is a response. So, you don't give her one.

And, good riddance!