So, How Was It For You?

[Smith1942]

Hi everyone!

I'm sitting with my parents watching a drama about midwives in the Fifties. There's a bit too much heaving and sweating going on for my liking, so I thought I'd catch up with PS!

Now that it's all over, how was Christmas for you? Better or worse than expected? Or bittersweet? Mine's been a journey, literally and figuratively. AND, I have bought three pieces of gorgeous bling!

I was dreading this trip, because I knew if would be very intense and expensive, with the 4000-mile trip home meaning plane, bus and taxi fares, presents for the whole extended family, going away to stay with in-laws in London and hosting in-laws at my parents' house over Christmas - and seeing my mother's condition up close, of course. Frankly, part of me just wanted to pull the covers over my head in Boston and stay there for the duration!

The trip home took TWENTY hours because I left in a snowstorm, and I spent eleven hours on the plane instead of five and a half. But it was all OK in the end - at least the flight wasn't cancelled!

When I got home, my mother was in more pain than expected, and my dad made some rather grim predictions. However, based on the last five trips last year, I had prepared myself. I felt happier because I feel I have just started to accept the situation, after a year. You just cannot go on feeling constantly dreadful forever, about a situation you cannot control. And then, as the trip has gone on, it seemed that the extra pain was the result of her doing too much, rather than it necessarily being a deterioration. She will have a scan in January and am prepared if it's bad news. Acceptance can be a wonderful thing, which is a lesson for me because I'm not much of an accepter by nature. More of a rant-and-railer!

Distraction is a also a great thing. My aunt-in-law took me to an art gallery in London, the Courtauld Institute, and I have decided to educate myself about art. I know absolutely nothing about it. I can recognise the more obvious Monets and the famous Van Goghs like the sunflowers, and I know that he cut his ear off. That's IT. That is the sum total of my art knowledge. So! This will never do! I am going to take up art, and teach myself all about it. Not to draw - can't even do stick figures. But I am going to become knowledgeable about art and artists. I bought some books in the gallery's bookshop - they were only six pounds and are very colourful. One is about someone called Gauguin. Anyone know how to pronounce that?

And, despite all the expense, I have been shopping in the Lanes - the jewellery quarter of my hometown. It staves off homesickness to possess and wear jewellery from the town of my birth. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

I bought:

- An opal pendant with three oval-shaped opal drops, to match the drop earrings I bought in that shop earlier this year. Here are the earrings. The pendant is the same but with three drops. [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/double-opal-drops.189701/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/double-opal-drops.189701/[/URL]
- A pair of gorgeous pearl drop earrings, smallish pearls but high-lustre akoyas with rose overtone and a small, delicate drop. Yummy.
- And, the pea-esse de resistonce....opal pear-shaped drop earrings on French wire, surrounded by halos of round opals. Very vintage-looking. I wasn't sure about them, but when I tried them on, they were so damn pretty I snapped them up. I have never seen opal centre stones surrounded by an opal halo. They are unique, I think. They look Victorian, although they are a new piece.

For some reason, the jewellery quarter of my hometown is a really excellent place to get opals. They are really good opals with strong colours and unusual designs. And, opal is my birthstone. Another justification!

So, tell everyone about your Christmas. How was it for YOU?

 

[dk168]

It was peaceful, and I am glad it is over for another year, as I cannot eat that much rich food and drink so much for more than 2 days!

I may be on my own with just the pets for company, however, I always push the boat out for Christmas and Boxing Days.

Had to work a full day today, and it was very busy at work, which was nice, as time flies when it is busy.

DK

 

[Maisie]

I'm sorry to hear that your mother is in poor health Smith. I've not been on PS much recently so I didn't know she was unwell. I am glad to see that you managed to enjoy some of the festive season.

We had a very quiet christmas. My eldest children live 180 miles away from us and it's getting harder to travel with our youngest James. He is autistic and really doesn't like being away from home. My dad had a heart attack a few weeks ago so I spent 2 weeks away from my home. Let's just say that James is holding a grudge and it was safer to stay at home for the holidays!

The high point of this Christmas was finding out I'm going to be a grandmother! My daughter Ashleigh is suffering greatly with morning/afternoon/evening/night sickness. I can't tell you how excited I am for my first grandchild

We had a very quiet day on 25th. The kids had a jolly time opening their presents and we had a lovely lunch together. I was so tired though, probably a throw back to all the stress over my dad being poorly.

My biggest regret was not having a Christmas tree. I didn't think we had room for it in this house which really seemed to take away from the festive spirit. I shall have a big one next year. I don't care if it's squashed in somewhere!

 

[Mayk]

At home peaceful and only hectic doing dinner for 8 on Christmas Eve and a busy Christmas lunch which I only did one dish for... The kids all had a nice Christmas and I got a beautiful Roberto Coin diamond cross. (Not tiny treasures).

On a sad note my mother and I are still not talking and we didn't speak for my birthday, the week before Christmas or Christmas. I did try and email her to open up a line of communication back before Thanksgiving but she blocked my email address so I guess done is done (she put a note on her Facebook about being done). She's talked to DD and she sent very nice gifts to DD and my stepdaughter but left out my stepson. No clue why. This was a bit of a dark cloud over a really all round nice holiday.

A lot of reflecting has helped me see I always walked on eggshells around her. As my birth mother I'd known for 20 years I was never comfortable speaking my mind. Now I know better why... I'm glad the holidays are over.

 

[Paz]

Honestly, it was a much needed balm for my weary soul.

Last year I went to Maine to be with my oldest friend and helped care for her during her last weeks on earth. She died two days after Thanksgiving.

The following weeks were spent helping her mother go though all of my friend's belongings, visits to my mom in the nursing home, and helping my aunt find a good hospice for my Grammy. Two days before Christmas, Mom and Grammy were placed in hospice by my aunt, my sister, and me. Holidays 2012, were survived, not celebrated.

Both my Grammy and Mom passed away this spring and I knew how emotional the holidays would be. My husband and I skipped Thanksgiving, as it was the anniversary of my friend's passing and a reminder of other losses.

Christmas was just so relaxing and calming. We turned down all invitations, bought a 2 ft tree (rather Charlie Brownish), let our cats use it as a drinking bowl and the ornaments were their toys (literally).

We opened our presents on Christmas Eve, and watched a bunch of Gordon Ramsey shows. I slept in and then stayed in my pjs all day, and made a toutiere pie for dinner, followed by chocolate cream pie (my mom and grammy would always make them).

Our family decided to only send sentimental gifts, so lots of peanut butter fudge, memorial ornaments, framed and restored pictures of Mom, etc. Just remembering all of the wonderful holidays we shared in the past, helped to keep this season about love, family, and letting ourselves heal.

I thanked my husband for giving me the perfect Christmas. The one I grieved when needed, but enjoyed being with him "in the now".

I hope that every one here was able to enjoy a bit of peace for the soul.

 

[marcy]

Reading your stories helps me realize I'm not the only one missing a loved one at Christmas. My heart goes out to all of you.

We moved in to our new house on December 22 last year. One reason we picked the house we did is because it is big enough to have my entire family here for Christmas. Sadly my mom passed away at the end of August this year.

I started cleaning, baking and shopping for the family get together in November. I bought Christmas plates and made homemade rolls, fudge and cookies. We all got together the Sunday before Christmas. It was a hectic but nice day.

I worked hard at staying busy and keeping my dad busy so I did well not dwelling on my mom.

Christmas Day we had my dad over for breakfast and dinner. It was a nice quiet day.

I didn't really have my meltdown over my mom until doing dishes last night. I am sad she never got to spend Christmas in our house. We did have my parents over on New Years last year so she came here that day.

Overall we had a nice Christmas.

 

[JewelFreak]

I'm glad you who miss family & friends found some comfort & peace in Christmas. I can relate; my mother & her brother, my uncle, spent Christmases with us & since they both died, I feel their loss every year. The memories of so much laughter & fun don't die, though, and they were the true gifts.

We had a calm, kind of sweet time this year. On Christmas Eve stayed up late watching Rio Bravo, one of my fave movies. Since my family is too spread out to get together on holidays, my brother's present is always a conference call Christmas morning, when we siblings all get on the phone & yammer till we can't think of anything to say, usually an hour or more. It's great fun.

I finally put the tree up on the 23rd & it lasted all of 3 days! Joey, my cat, was worse than usual this time -- he thinks it's a giant cat toy just for him. He wrecked so many ornaments & squished most of the branches climbing it at night (even though I soaked it in bitter apple) that I just gave up on the 26th & took the poor thing down. This gorilla is 10 years old! I kind of expected he'd have matured into a dignified fellow by now, but no dice. I thought I was missing a box when I decorated the tree; didn't seem like there was much there -- then realized I've deep-sixed a boxful of ornaments since Joey invaded us. Hisssss!

What's up for New Year's Eve for everyone?

--- Laurie

 

[missy]

I'm happy for all those who have had a peaceful and fulfilling holiday season. It's always a difficult time of year for those who are missing loved ones as it brings up those memories of the times when they were around...Time certainly flies and I cannot believe how long my grandmother has been gone. Scary that more than 2 decades have flown by without her.

We had a very peaceful Christmas eve and day. We just spent it the 2 of us having a romantic dinner at home Christmas eve and going to the movies Christmas day. I would have preferred a long walk on the beach but it was just too cold for me on the 25th. As an aside-I was surprised at how many people go to the movies on Xmas...I always think people who celebrate the day do it at home with family/friends but an awful lot of people are at the movies at least in our area.

New Year's eve is a different story for us as we have a standing date with my sister's family and our parents. NYE is a big day/night for my family (not me but the rest of my family) so we have to go though dh and I would much prefer to be at home celebrating and go to bed early haha. I'm a homebody at heart and I also hate staying up late because I am always awake early work or not so it's a tiring day for us. Though the last number of years we have been leaving my sister's house before midnight and arriving home before the ball drops so we do get to welcome the New Year just the 2 of us.

Anyway, this time of year can be a difficult one so sending lots of positive energy and hugs to all those who need it and wishing everyone a happy and healthy 2014 filled with love and lots of bling!