I just wanna say -- the random comments thread

[missy]

I really need to vent...
My birthday is on December 9th and at the same day it is my mom's and daughter's name day (name days are a very big deal in my country and they are considered a happy occasion, when people are buying drinks and sweets for everybody, etc!).
Anyway, traditionally, we have been celebrating this day together with my parents and the rest of the family for...as long as i can remember! This year, mom decided to go away on a trip during this day. I will not pretend that i didn't care and didn't feel sad, because i would be lying. Especially this year, i wanted to share this day with my family, because it's a very important (and not very pleasant) birthday for me...i hit forty!
So i'm on the phone with my mother and she's telling me that she will be away, bla bla bla...and i can tell that she's already feeling guilty about leaving without even having discussed this with me beforehand, even though i NEVER said or implied that i am upset about this issue...
So without me asking for any explanations, she starts finding all kinds of excuses and at the end she adds: "And anyway, you are old now, you shouldn't be celebrating birthdays"
Just a clarification: The word that she used in greek, can't really be translated in englishm but it really means "you are an old lady", it doesn't mean "you are older", "more mature" or anything of the sort.
I was speechless... After a few seconds i pulled myself together and i amswered: "I'm sorry mom, but i don't feel like an old lady at all and i will certainly celebrate my birthday...".
My mom's answer was: "Well, i consider you capable of celebrating your birthday and blowing candles and making yourself look ridiculous, until you reach...100 years...".

I attach a picture that my DH took of me, the "old lady", two days ago...
How could my own mother think like this and say such hurtful things to me? As if i wasn't feeling bad enough already about getting older... Why would she ever think that it's ridiculous for me to have a cake and celebrate my birthday? Honestly, i am so frustrated...

Awww naty, biggest hugs to you. Of course you are still young and a beautiful young woman to boot! Your mom is just feeling guilty and using a bad line of rationalization. Fwiw I had my sil pull a similar line of crap when my b'day conflicted with her plans though it was an opposite situation. She wanted to stay at our beach house that week and we wanted it to ourselves. It is our house after all lol. Anyway definitely a poor rationalization on her part and shame on her. I'm sorry she made you feel bad/sad...only those we love can have that power. I know you will have an amazing and special birthday with your dh and perhaps you can celebrate with your mom another day.

 

[Natylad]

Sharon and missy...THANK YOU so much girls for the moral support...I already started feeling better...
My dearest brother, who's a sweetheart, and his wife, whom i love as my true sister, are going to celebrate my birthday with me and my DH...I'm sure it will be amazing

 

[junebug17]

Aw naty, your mother certainly chose her words very poorly, and FWIW I think you are justified in being disappointed about the change, especially since you've been doing it for so long and you enjoy the tradition so much - to be honest, I really don't think she thinks you're an old lady - I think she's feeling guilty and tried to come up with excuses about why it's not a big deal for her to be away.

You're not old, you look fab, and you can certainly celebrate your birthday however you dam well please! Focus on all the positives in your life, remind yourself you can still have a great birthday celebrating with other family and friends, and just relax and enjoy your day!

 

[VRBeauty]

naty - you're gorgeous!

You're totally justified in feeling hurt about your mother's choice of words. I hope you're able to plan a wonderful celebration for yourself and your daughter.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Naty!! My god! You're just gorgeous!! And not an old lady at all!!! You celebrate the hell out of your birthday! Don't let what she said get to you! I've had a mother that was hurtful to me my whole life and you just can't let words from others bring you down.

So you go out there girl! Get your young ass out there and get your groove on! Did I just say groove? Haha yes!

 

[D&T]

Naty- you are young and GORGEOUS!


Just been told by an ebay jewelry seller that I was too complicated after three email conversation about the width, height and possibly changing the size of the diamonds to smaller pointers.... Oh well, one less vendor closer to making a decision.

 

[VapidLapid]

Not only are you a knockout, but you are not a lad at all!

The young have their looks, but let's face it, theyv'e done nothing to earn them. After 40 you own your face. It reflects the complex, experienced, kind and wise person you are. So your body is clocking 40. Does that actually mean anything? This arbitrary chronology (sorry Chrono) that we frequently compare ourselves to is without value. IT does nothing to tell us of our accomplishments or our personal growth, tells us nothing about the person we have chosen to become, nothing of how far we have come toward that or how much further is ahead. None of us is older than a blink of an instant, or younger than an eternity.

 

[Natylad]

My dear friends, VapidLapid, YT, D&T, VRBeauty and Junebug, THANK YOU for the support and for all the kind and sweet things that you said!
I have made arrangements for my birthday already I have reserved a table at my favourite fancy restaurant, ordered a special cake, made my hair and nails and tonight since it's Saturday and we have no work tommorow morning, we'll go have fun and celebrate the occasion two days earlier, hehehe
My brother said that they have an interesting gift for me Let's see what it is!! I'll come back with photos, i promise!!!

 

[Smith1942]

Naty, you look about 22! Families can be very hurtful sometimes. In fact, everyone from strangers to acquaintances to work colleagues to family can be hurtful. You wouldn't believe the crap that's been said to me sometimes, completely unprovoked, like the taxi driver who was horrid to me the whole way home recently and then had the nerve to say "Oh, sorry I gave you a hard time" at the end! There was no reason whatsoever for his behaviour, I was just sitting quietly in his cab. He was an ugly older man who somehow felt better about himself by bullying young female passengers travelling alone.

My point? It's all just white noise and you have to not give a crap about it. Just reflect on how sad and miserable they must be to make such cruel comments for no reason. Your mother probably has a problem with you turning 40 because that makes HER old!

When someone says something like that, they are immediately a loser for being so nasty and for pushing you away. It's their problem entirely. You really, really mustn't listen to the remarks because at the end of the day, it's all about them and their own issues, and nothing to do with you at all. Of course you're not old. You could have another six decades to live, potentially, so you're still young, and what's wrong with being older anyway? You look beautiful and you have a beautiful soul and you would, I am sure, never make such uncalled-for and hurtful remarks. So, you're the winner.


P.S. My mother was always lovely but from her early sixties onwards she also started to make some strange remarks. I think it must be the effect of ageing in some people.

 

[Smith1942]

Naty, you look about 22! Families can be very hurtful sometimes. In fact, everyone from strangers to acquaintances to work colleagues to family can be hurtful. You wouldn't believe the crap that's been said to me sometimes, completely unprovoked, like the taxi driver who was horrid to me the whole way home recently and then had the nerve to say "Oh, sorry I gave you a hard time" at the end! There was no reason whatsoever for his behaviour, I was just sitting quietly in his cab. He was an ugly older man who somehow felt better about himself by bullying young female passengers travelling alone.

My point? It's all just white noise and you have to not give a crap about it. Just reflect on how sad and miserable they must be to make such cruel comments for no reason. Your mother probably has a problem with you turning 40 because that makes HER old!

When someone says something like that, they are immediately a loser for being so nasty and for pushing you away. It's their problem entirely. You really, really mustn't listen to the remarks because at the end of the day, it's all about them and their own issues, and nothing to do with you at all. Of course you're not old. You could have another six decades to live, potentially, so you're still young, and what's wrong with being older anyway? You look beautiful and you have a beautiful soul and you would, I am sure, never make such uncalled-for and hurtful remarks. So, you're the winner.


P.S. My mother was always lovely but from her early sixties onwards she also started to make some strange remarks. I think it must be the effect of ageing in some people.

 

[sweet_blossom]

natyLad, I hope you have an amazing birthday celebration

 

[sweet_blossom]

My point? It's all just white noise and you have to not give a crap about it. Just reflect on how sad and miserable they must be to make such cruel comments for no reason....
When someone says something like that, they are immediately a loser for being so nasty and for pushing you away. It's their problem entirely. You really, really mustn't listen to the remarks because at the end of the day, it's all about them and their own issues, and nothing to do with you at all.

Smith1942, thank you for your post and your taxi story. Sometimes people's comments can just knock the wind out of a person and your post really meant a lot. It was for natyLad, but just wanted to say how meaningful your post was....

 

[Natylad]

My point? It's all just white noise and you have to not give a crap about it. Just reflect on how sad and miserable they must be to make such cruel comments for no reason....
When someone says something like that, they are immediately a loser for being so nasty and for pushing you away. It's their problem entirely. You really, really mustn't listen to the remarks because at the end of the day, it's all about them and their own issues, and nothing to do with you at all.

Smith1942, thank you for your post and your taxi story. Sometimes people's comments can just knock the wind out of a person and your post really meant a lot. It was for natyLad, but just wanted to say how meaningful your post was....

Girls, thank you so much for your posts...They mean a lot to me and they have totally changed my mood...
So last night we went out with DH, my brother and his wife and had a GREAT time! Tonight, they're coming at our home and we'll cut the cake (yes mother, i got a cake AND candles ).
DH had already gotten me as a birthday gift the Cartier Trinity ring that i always wanted and look what i got last night from my dearest brother, hehehe

 

[Smith1942]

My point? It's all just white noise and you have to not give a crap about it. Just reflect on how sad and miserable they must be to make such cruel comments for no reason....
When someone says something like that, they are immediately a loser for being so nasty and for pushing you away. It's their problem entirely. You really, really mustn't listen to the remarks because at the end of the day, it's all about them and their own issues, and nothing to do with you at all.

Smith1942, thank you for your post and your taxi story. Sometimes people's comments can just knock the wind out of a person and your post really meant a lot. It was for natyLad, but just wanted to say how meaningful your post was....

Glad it helped, Sweet Blossom.

 

[Smith1942]

My point? It's all just white noise and you have to not give a crap about it. Just reflect on how sad and miserable they must be to make such cruel comments for no reason....
When someone says something like that, they are immediately a loser for being so nasty and for pushing you away. It's their problem entirely. You really, really mustn't listen to the remarks because at the end of the day, it's all about them and their own issues, and nothing to do with you at all.

Smith1942, thank you for your post and your taxi story. Sometimes people's comments can just knock the wind out of a person and your post really meant a lot. It was for natyLad, but just wanted to say how meaningful your post was....

Girls, thank you so much for your posts...They mean a lot to me and they have totally changed my mood...
So last night we went out with DH, my brother and his wife and had a GREAT time! Tonight, they're coming at our home and we'll cut the cake (yes mother, i got a cake AND candles ).
DH had already gotten me as a birthday gift the Cartier Trinity ring that i always wanted and look what i got last night from my dearest brother, hehehe

Natylad, happy birthday! Your new necklace is so pretty, I love it! Do a thread in SMTB!

 

[junebug17]

So glad you're feeling better and had such a wonderful time naty!!! I love that necklace, looks beautiful on you, so sweet of your brother!

 

[Natylad]

Junebug, Smith, THANK YOU girls, i love you guys!!!

 

[Matata]

Woke up to 5 degree temperature outside and the sounds of silence inside. Silent as in the furnace died. Brand new state-of-the-art furnace, dead. Made my way over roads that are a sheet of ice to Home Depot for some space heaters. Our high yesterday was 27. Unusual for my area and we are ill equipped to handle it. People drove over snow and ice like it was summer and Friday night, when the storm hit, there was a record number of car accidents. Furnace folks probably won't be able to get here for a week. They're swamped. What a mess.

 

[rubyshoes]

People do not understand the concept of Christmas and the holidays. To keep saying Happy Holidays all the time and then to make nasty comments or to spread gossip about others... to be petty and mean... ugh. It makes me want to go rent a cabin in the middle of the woods and just hang out with my husband and my pets. Tis the season to be vicious. So disappointed.

 

[yssie]

Woke up to 5 degree temperature outside and the sounds of silence inside. Silent as in the furnace died. Brand new state-of-the-art furnace, dead. Made my way over roads that are a sheet of ice to Home Depot for some space heaters. Our high yesterday was 27. Unusual for my area and we are ill equipped to handle it. People drove over snow and ice like it was summer and Friday night, when the storm hit, there was a record number of car accidents. Furnace folks probably won't be able to get here for a week. They're swamped. What a mess.

Oh no!!! I hope they can get out to you sooner! I guess the emergency services are similarly swamped?

Ours died in the middle of last winter and it was miserable, I feel for you! We were out a couple of days before we could get a stopgap fan replacement and our puppy was just nine weeks and couldn't regulate her body temp yet and I was SO worried about keeping her wrapped up with hot water bottles.. yours was brand new, too, what a PITA

 

[Matata]

Oh no!!! I hope they can get out to you sooner! I guess the emergency services are similarly swamped?

Ours died in the middle of last winter and it was miserable, I feel for you! We were out a couple of days before we could get a stopgap fan replacement and our puppy was just nine weeks and couldn't regulate her body temp yet and I was SO worried about keeping her wrapped up with hot water bottles.. yours was brand new, too, what a PITA

Thanks for your thoughts Yssie! This is one of those times when an open-concept floor plan is inconvenient. I put an upholstered bench in front of the gas fireplace and the cats are huddled together there. They have fur coats and are being heat hogs!

The city has sanded the major roads but we don't have snow removal equipment. Usually on those rare occasions when the snow sticks, the temps warm up fast and we have only 1 or 2 days of bad conditions. The persistent freezing temp is the problem now. A lot of folks are stranded in their homes in the hills because the city doesn't maintain those streets. Home Depot had very few employees able to make it to work. The freeway is backed up due to icy conditions. I think the emergency service folks are prioritizing the elderly and ill and we have a lot of those because this is a retirement community.

I shoveled the sidewalks for 3 of my elderly neighbors on Friday. I kept thinking "Wow, this is nice fluffily snow; it'll be easy to shovel."
Oy my aching back.

 

[yssie]

Oh no!!! I hope they can get out to you sooner! I guess the emergency services are similarly swamped?

Ours died in the middle of last winter and it was miserable, I feel for you! We were out a couple of days before we could get a stopgap fan replacement and our puppy was just nine weeks and couldn't regulate her body temp yet and I was SO worried about keeping her wrapped up with hot water bottles.. yours was brand new, too, what a PITA

Thanks for your thoughts Yssie! This is one of those times when an open-concept floor plan is inconvenient. I put an upholstered bench in front of the gas fireplace and the cats are huddled together there. They have fur coats and are being heat hogs!

The city has sanded the major roads but we don't have snow removal equipment. Usually on those rare occasions when the snow sticks, the temps warm up fast and we have only 1 or 2 days of bad conditions. The persistent freezing temp is the problem now. A lot of folks are stranded in their homes in the hills because the city doesn't maintain those streets. Home Depot had very few employees able to make it to work. The freeway is backed up due to icy conditions. I think the emergency service folks are prioritizing the elderly and ill and we have a lot of those because this is a retirement community.

I shoveled the sidewalks for 3 of my elderly neighbors on Friday. I kept thinking "Wow, this is nice fluffily snow; it'll be easy to shovel."
Oy my aching back.

LOL. It always hurts more the day after! I'm sorry though, aches and pains and no furnace to heat water for a long bath is NOT a good combo!

I stayed with family in Ohio for a couple of months one winter and I was amazed by how much of a non-issue ten inches of snow was - roads were plowed, driveways were shoveled and salted, and that was that. No drama, no crazy drivers, nothing! Baltimore... there's panic and havoc after a couple of inches. The ice really is by far the most dangerous part

Stay safe Matata!! And I'll keep my fingers crossed for your furnace folk to finish the priority cases and get out to you pronto!

 

[Enerchi]

Happy Birthday NatyLad!!!! Hope your day is awesome --- and you look AMAZING for 29

 

[Dancing Fire]

Happy Birthday NatyLad

 

[Dancing Fire]

What happen to Kenny's thread?..

 

[VRBeauty]

I am so mad I could spit nails. It involves family and if I were to say more and someone stumbled upon my post and shared it, it might do irreparable harm so I'm not going to say any more. But...

 

[Natylad]

Enerchi and Dancing Fire, than you so much for your wishes

So i had this weird dream last night, that DH dragged me to some kind of adventurous activity, which involved swimming, hiking, etc.
At the end of it, i discovered that i had lost my ER's diamond, my diamond studs and my diamond pendant...So i started crying in my dream, telling him that it's all his fault, etc!!! Then, i demanded that we go to my jeweler and see what we can replace of all the lost items. Next thing in the dream, i find myself at my jeweler's shop and i realize that there's no way that i will ever be able to replace all my lost stuff so, feeling frustrated, i ask DH to leave. Then, at home, DH is sleeping and as i'm hanging his clothes in his closet, i discover in his pocket two boxes, i open them and there i see a beautiful pair of studs and a pendant just like the one that was lost! At this point the baby woke me up...damn it, i didn't get the chance to search the other pocket and see what could be in there...An upgraded ER maybe? (only in my dreams...!!!).

 

[Cozystitches]

I am so mad I could spit nails. It involves family and if I were to say more and someone stumbled upon my post and shared it, it might do irreparable harm so I'm not going to say any more. But...

Hugs to you! I'll join you in the frustration with family department, however mine leans toward the realm. Hugs!

 

[TooPatient]

I am so mad I could spit nails. It involves family and if I were to say more and someone stumbled upon my post and shared it, it might do irreparable harm so I'm not going to say any more. But...

Hugs to you! I'll join you in the frustration with family department, however mine leans toward the realm. Hugs!

Hugs to both of you!

Why does family have to be so dramatic?!?

My frustration ranges from to to to and back again.

 

[Natylad]

Hehehehe!!! So the dialogues between my mom and me are becoming more and more hilarious
Today i went to visit her after work and we were talking about many different things. At the end, i told her that my husband is such a sweetheart, because the other day, when i had my birthday, he told me that i look fresher, younger and more beautiful than when he met me, eight years ago!
Mom's answer: "Yes, i know, isn't he such a sweetheart?" (she truly loves DH) "As they say, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder...Haven't you watched the musical Cabaret? Remember the scene when the guy comes out on stage and he's singing, full of passion: "I know what you're thinking,You wondered why I chose her,Out of all the ladies in the world.That's just a first impression,
What good's a first impression?If you knew her like I do, it would change your point of view. If you could see her through my eyes, You wouldn't wonder at all"? And then the lady turns around and she's actually a monkey? Hahahahahaha"

I don't think that she has bad intentions, but the things that she's saying to me are...un-freaking-believeable!!!