Bad Manners - PT 2 - Late People

[blackprophet]

I had to laugh at the psychological comment, if thats the case there are whole countries full of people with psychological issues.

My parents were born in the carribean and so were my FI's parents. Similar to the person from africa above, people just aren't concerned with time. I have one cousin who routinely shows up for family parties arount 11, parties that start at 6 or earlier. People Stopped waiting for him years ago. I know its the same in most tropical countries.

I couldn't be late if my life depended on it. If I try to be early I'm there 1h early. If I try to be on time I'm 15 mins early. If I try to be late, I will be there on time, usually to the minute. I have groups of friends that if I hang out with them I aim to be ~30-1h late from the stated time knowing I will be the first one to show. You gotta finish the line "To be early, is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late is to be forgotten." My mother thought that 30 mins early was showing up late, and thats where I get it from. Good ole parental brainwashing.

My FI is also chronically late. I've actually examined her preparation process and am still baffeled by how she ends up late, shes starts preparing early, stays on task and still ends up being late somehow. No matter how early she starts getting ready. Its really quite fascinating. And It has nothing to do with being a control freak, or passive agressive, not respecting peoples time, or anything like that. She tries hard, she just fails every time. Just the way it is. And growing up in a family and culture that is like that certainly doesn't help.

I also laughed because if I waited for only 20 minutes after the stated meeting time, I wouldn't ever hang out with any of my friends! I only have one or two who can meet that deadline. Seriously. For me, with no message, I'd probably message at the 45 min mark, and leave at the 1hr mark.

 

[Rebecca0388]

I chuckled at most of these comments. My best friend hates people being late and most of these responses sound exactly like her! In social settings when there is no rush for time it really doesn't bother me if people are late, but my friend can't stand it she gets so angry!

In return my pet peeve is that she is 100% of the time at least half an hour early (if not more) to everything. Which is cool if that's what you like to do. But if you want to sit in a restaurant by yourself for half an hour then get furious when it is 1 min past the meeting time and complain someone's late. Of course it feels like that person is really late, if she arrived at the right time she would only be waiting a few minutes not over half an hour!

 

[TC1987]

Easy fix for this. We always serve drinks and hor d'oeuvres for when people arrive so there is food and alcohol for everyone's enjoyment and we serve the main course a few hours later. So everyone is there for that. We never ask people to come and serve the main meal immediately. Seems too rushed that way anyway. However, if you are just inviting people over for dinner right after the workday well then just serve the people who arrived on time and any latecomers can heat up the leftovers IMO. I wouldn't keep others waiting because of the inconsiderate behavior of some.

We have appetizers, but never have alcohol because nobody drinks, lol. If it's announced that we will be eating a 2PM (or 7PM or whatever hour), the attendees know that they can show up 1-2 hours early to mingle and visit, but dammit 2PM is when we serve the meal. This is the problem: Sis won't ever get her buns here for the 2PM drop-dead hour that she agreed to. The KFC dinner was great. Mom-the-superb-cook flat out told Sis & crew that she decided to serve KFC instead of cook because it was a lot less work than preparing a full dinner, far less expense, and KFC would refrigerate for hours and be easily reheated in the microwave at any time without losing any quality or flavor. I nearly choked on suppressed laughter. Chicken in a paper bucket, mashed potatoes out of a carton, biscuits from a box.

 

[pregcurious]

I think 15 minutes is okay. 30 is not, without a call. After an hour, the appointment is over for friends. When I throw parties, I try to keep the kids parties open for arrival/depature within a start and end time. For adult parties, I am always purposefully late by 15 minutes so the hosts can have a little extra time to prep.

At work, no one is late.

It depends on the situation.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I think 15 minutes is okay. 30 is not, without a call. After an hour, the appointment is over for friends. When I throw parties, I try to keep the kids parties open for arrival/depature within a start and end time. For adult parties, I am always purposefully late by 15 minutes so the hosts can have a little extra time to prep.

At work, no one is late.

It depends on the situation.

With kid parties, I've always had a specific pick-up time on the invite...there was one kid invited to two b-day parties and both times, the parents were over a half an hour late to pick him up, which would be no big deal if I hadn't already had over 10 kids at my house for FOUR hours. This year, both kids just picked a couple friends rather than group parties and that way we were able to be flexible b/c I know people are busy. It worked out wonderfully.

 

[monarch64]

I chuckled at most of these comments. My best friend hates people being late and most of these responses sound exactly like her! In social settings when there is no rush for time it really doesn't bother me if people are late, but my friend can't stand it she gets so angry!

In return my pet peeve is that she is 100% of the time at least half an hour early (if not more) to everything. Which is cool if that's what you like to do. But if you want to sit in a restaurant by yourself for half an hour then get furious when it is 1 min past the meeting time and complain someone's late. Of course it feels like that person is really late, if she arrived at the right time she would only be waiting a few minutes not over half an hour!

Ha! I agree, of course that person is going to think everyone else is late! Wow, wish I had that kind of time, I could just roll up an hour or half an hour early to a meeting and then feel peeved that the person/people I was meeting weren't there exactly on time! That reads to me like a heart attack waiting to happen.

I like to arrive between 5 and 10 minutes early to any meeting. It always gives me a couple minutes to (after parking!) acquaint myself with the surroundings whether I'm familiar or not, and to make myself comfortable. Either others have already arrived and are doing the same, or I'm met by my people very shortly after I sit down. It's a comfortable cushion for me.

I would never, ever show up late to an event I was formally invited to. That's just rude and shows a lack of respect for the host and/or hostess. Likewise, I feel a little put-out when (and it does happen) guests we've invited--and I do send hand-written invitations in the postal mail at least twice a year--show up hours late to one of our parties. They usually do not earn a consecutive invitation. And I'm just talking about birthday parties and other informal holidays. It's not like we're hosting galas or televised events up in here.