Nowadays..$40K weddings are the norm?

[MustangGal]

We'll be attending one next month in San Francisco, just from what I can add up I know it's going to be $60k+. I would never spend that much, but I'll try to enjoy the hell out of my $300 meal/drinks.

My wedding 12 years ago was 6k for 150 people at a country club, we had so much fun.

 

[distracts]

We'll pay for most of the wedding ourselves, so spending $20k or more on one day just makes me sick. I would rather elope or have something small and put the money towards our dream purchase--a 4+ unit building. Not glamorous, but I'd rather spend the money on something more tangible.

I think most guys would be thrilled to have a partner that's practical and doesn't want a wedding. However, my guy is not most guys... Call him Bridezillo: he wants the party with all our friends. And I feel guilty not letting him have that, so we've been engaged for a year and a half and I continue to search for a wedding I can stomach...

heeee, yes, I had a groomzilla and a momzilla. (eta: can't forget dadzilla, without whom the open bar would not have included the top-shelf liquors.) I'd have been happy with eloping, but no one else would have been!

HOWEVER, don't worry about the money! Spending so much on one day seemed outlandish to me but it was worth it. Most amazing party of my life and an amazing weekend with all of our friends/family from across the country.

I have 1 word, INSANE. For 1 day, never. I would rather give my child a large amount to send them on their honeymoon where ever they want to go.

How is spending the money on a week or two for two people any less ridiculous than spending it on one day for 200 people? It's still just a short experience, but with a vacation you aren't even sharing it with all your loved ones.

 

[LittleRiver]

Who said that wedding cost $40K?

That is not the norm. Maybe if you include rings & honeymoon, a wedding might be closer, but I don't think that is the typical amount.

heard it through the grapevine... ... after the 5:00 PM wedding ceremony they were serving sea food appetizers for 2 hrs ,then a steak dinner at 7:00 + an open bar all you can drink from 4:00 till 11:00 pm.

http://www.rubyhillwinery.net/

As someone who recently got married, let me say that $40k is below average in NYC and it would be difficult to host 175 guests for that amount. You certainly couldn't offer sea food hors d'oeuvres and 7 hours of open bar at that price!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Who said that wedding cost $40K?

That is not the norm. Maybe if you include rings & honeymoon, a wedding might be closer, but I don't think that is the typical amount.

heard it through the grapevine... ... after the 5:00 PM wedding ceremony they were serving sea food appetizers for 2 hrs ,then a steak dinner at 7:00 + an open bar all you can drink from 4:00 till 11:00 pm.

http://www.rubyhillwinery.net/

As someone who recently got married, let me say that $40k is below average in NYC and it would be difficult to host 175 guests for that amount. You certainly couldn't offer sea food hors d'oeuvres and 7 hours of open bar at that price!

NYC wedding is the most expensive in the US.

 

[soxfan]

I used to cater wedding receptions in Long Island (NY). They were incredibly over the top. At LEAST $70,000-$150,000 a wedding. It was such a fun job, and I made a ton of cash for college. Lots of drama, too. You ever see the show "bridezillas?" Yeah, it was like that.

DH and I decided to buy a house instead of an extravagant wedding. We eloped to Kauai and spent about an hour getting hitched. Then we spent the rest of the time snorkeling, hiking, and enjoying hawaii. IT. WAS. AWESOME.

When we got home, we threw a hawaiian luau in our backyard and had a pig roast. I think we spent about under $10,000 on the trip to hawaii (we stayed in a really expensive hotel) and about $5000 on the reception.

I am TOTALLY encouraging my kids to elope. I'll even pay for it.

Sometimes I feel like SOME weddings are just "showing off" know what I mean?

 

[Gypsy]

Many of my friends have had lovely weddings for much less than that.

However, we paid for our wedding over 18 months, paying for things in advance. And while we kept a spreadsheet, we didn't tally the total. After the wedding when we did-- my eyes popped out of my head. Our wedding cost 35K not including rings, a couple of 'mistakes' with dresses, honeymoon or anything else.

I was very happy we were able to do that without any debt. But ... WOW, when I think of it I'm still amazed at how much it all cost.

My wedding wasn't super big or amazing either. 69 guests. Wine and beer only. On a Sunday.

But we live in Nor Cal, and our wedding was here too, and everything costs the earth around here.

 

[texaskj]

No matter how much you spend, the result is still the same.

 

[tuffyluvr]

We'll pay for most of the wedding ourselves, so spending $20k or more on one day just makes me sick. I would rather elope or have something small and put the money towards our dream purchase--a 4+ unit building. Not glamorous, but I'd rather spend the money on something more tangible.

I think most guys would be thrilled to have a partner that's practical and doesn't want a wedding. However, my guy is not most guys... Call him Bridezillo: he wants the party with all our friends. And I feel guilty not letting him have that, so we've been engaged for a year and a half and I continue to search for a wedding I can stomach...

heeee, yes, I had a groomzilla and a momzilla. (eta: can't forget dadzilla, without whom the open bar would not have included the top-shelf liquors.) I'd have been happy with eloping, but no one else would have been!

HOWEVER, don't worry about the money! Spending so much on one day seemed outlandish to me but it was worth it. Most amazing party of my life and an amazing weekend with all of our friends/family from across the country.

.

Oh, I soooo wish I could just say no worries and spend the money, but it just seems like soooo much effort and money! I'm terrified that I would be super stressed out and disappointed on the day-of. Like, "all this effort and money and everything turned out sh!tty!!!" clearly I'm very optimistic about it! ;P

We were actually selected for, "My Fair Wedding", but FI would not go on TV saying that he was the one who wanted the wedding.

I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, but I have no one to help me. Which is another reason I don't want to do it. My mom passed away when I was a teenager, my dad is a d-bag and FI's family is not into girly things. My friends are great, but I feel like its way too much for me to ask.

I'm holding out that the only place I'm willing to do a wedding is the Hicksville Trailer Palace. I love the idea of having "trailer palace" on the invites

http://www.hicksville.com/iphone.html

 

[hippi_pixi]

Early on in my wedding planning i read that the average australian wedding costs Au$47,000 and was shocked and have sworn for years that i would never waste that much on one day. We're 3 months out and probably at 45k. My parents are paying for the reception which is 22k for 100 guests. The other 23k added up so quickly. The 45k doesn't include honeymoon or wedding bands. I was happy to elope but my parents had to elope after my grandfather had a heart attack so I'm not allowed to do the same. It can be hard to avoid the costs everything is just ridiculously expensive

 

[Dancing Fire]

Our daughter asked us...will we pay for a $40k wedding?...

 

[joolsiepetunia]

My wedding was around 30k with 175 guests in Chicago. I thought we did good considering we did a lot of DIY and budgeting. I think the biggest cost was food, venue, and booze!!! We had to pay for our our weddinf, and I plan on having my kids do the same.

 

[perry]

Spring 2012 Wedding - Sunny Saturday late morning on beach at resort (Lake Elkhart). Approx. 30 guests. Dress, accessories, flowers, Officiant (and customized script), license, overnight room, photographer, food (everyone commented on how good the food was - appetizers & desert fixed - everyone ordered their main meal from the regular menu so everyone got something they liked), rental wheelchair for my mom, etc. (all but rings): Just under $4000; and everyone was on their way around 4 PM (except for my wife and I). The resort restaurant was able to open per normal at 5:00 PM.

We could very easily have spent 5 times that much and not had a noticeable nicer location or better food or service (that resort ; and its restaurant was a find - and several people have returned there to eat).

To this day we still receive comments on how nice it was (usually after someone goes to another larger wedding somewhere): Both the resort agent and the photographer told both of us that ours was one of the few weddings they had seen that was really a wedding. Small, personal, and meaningful. That the larger weddings are so much "production." The photographer told me that I had just shown him the kind of wedding he wanted - that he had never seen such a meaningful wedding and reception meal. He felt honored to be invited to document such a very close friends and family gathering.

So, you don't have to spend a lot of money in order to have something nice. We only invited family and the closest of friends - people who we really wanted to celebrate with us.

Perry

 

[TooPatient]

I don't think that is "the norm". I think some people do that and I'm sure there are probably areas where that is pretty standard.

Our wedding is in about 2 1/2 months
If you include the price of my e-ring (1+ ct center stone, another .5+ in side stones), both of our wedding bands (his was about $1,000), ceremony, reception, brunch, wine tasting, our rooms, rooms for my family members, etc we will still be < $20,000.

We are only having about 20 guests but it is at a spectacular winery with a highly respected chef, amazing wines, etc. We're also covering a full brunch (salmon benedict plus other options) and full wine tasting. Since my family can't afford the cost of a room to stay the night we're also paying for them (all told we're covering 8 of the nicest rooms they have).

If we invited more people or did it on this side of the mountains the cost could have been substantially higher. BUT -- that would have been our choice as there are beautiful lower cost options available if you look.