Anyone have "ring regret" before getting the ring?

[Daisycakes617]

Ok let me explain...SO and I went ring shopping in April and I found a setting that I thought I loved...I cried in the store when I tried it on and everything! It's not like I thought I wanted..I was originally looking for a split shank halo, and this one is a split shank but no halo and has 2 tiny sidestones, technically making it a 3 stone with pave all the way down. All in all..it's beautiful. However....after spending way too much time here and ogling all the pretty rings, I'm second guessing myself big time. Of course SO is in the process of paying on the ring so idk what, if anything I can do. Should I say something to him? Or just go with it since he's already making payments and I picked it. I think part of my hesitation is because I picked something that's not exactly what I always dreamed of. Has this happened to anyone else?

 

[marcy]

Re: Anyone have "ring regret" before getting the ring?

If it made you so happy it cried I would believe you'll feel the same way when you wear it all the time.

 

[marcy]

Re: Anyone have "ring regret" before getting the ring?

You cry not it cry. I can't edit with my phone. Your ring sounds very pretty.

 

[pandabee]

Yes! It happens frequently I believe. Especially hanging around here. I will say that in my personal experience, although I have not gotten my ring yet (obviously) I have regrets about it occasionally. We bought it preloved because we got a great deal on it but sometimes I wish that we had just done it from scratch because there are minor things that, like you, I did not see myself with originally. That's not to say that I won't change the setting later on, but it's definitely a feeling that comes and goes and I think also has to do with just not having the ring yet in general.

 

[Daisycakes617]

You're both right..I loved it the first time I saw it, then brought my mom back the next day and loved it again. I tried a ton of different settings that second day just to be sure. pandabee I think the fact that its so close to being in my hot little hands is causing me to freak out about the fact that its pretty much final. Lol being here has me already planning an upgrade! I need to get a life!

 

[antiquesparkler]

First off, your ring sounds beautiful!

I sometimes second guess my setting choice. SO and I picked it out almost a year ago and it goes with my old cut diamond really well but then I see halos and the amazing settings around here and I wonder if I should have gone with something more elaborate- I think because I dont see it all the time and I am not wearing it. For now, it works for us and our budget but I am sure I will make changes and/or upgrade later.

If it made you cry, I think you will love it for a very long time. Do you think your SO would be okay if you make changes in 5 years? 10 years?

 

[Daisycakes617]

I'll see if I can find the pictures I took. I really do love it but I guess its not as elaborate as I thought. I can't believe I gave up on the halo style!! I wanted the harry winston style so bad but when I tried it on I wasn't in love. I don't think I will really ever want to change out my ering because I'm sentimental about objects lol.. but I did tell my SO that I plan to start a savings account that I will use to fund future diamond purchases and he was fine with it. So hopefully in 5 or 10 years I'll have enough saved for a cushion that I could put in a nice halo! I want a collection!!

 

[Rosebloom]

Re: Anyone have "ring regret" before getting the ring?

I'll see if I can find the pictures I took. I really do love it but I guess its not as elaborate as I thought. I can't believe I gave up on the halo style!! I wanted the harry winston style so bad but when I tried it on I wasn't in love. I don't think I will really ever want to change out my ering because I'm sentimental about objects lol.. but I did tell my SO that I plan to start a savings account that I will use to fund future diamond purchases and he was fine with it. So hopefully in 5 or 10 years I'll have enough saved for a cushion that I could put in a nice halo! I want a collection!!

That sounds like a perfect solution! Or maybe your birthstone (or hubby's or future children or the stone of your wedding month - basically whichever you like best!)? I love a colored stone in a HW style halo!

 

[Trasid]

I think you are perfectly normal and I was actually glad to see this post becuase I was beginning to think I was crazy.

I am waiting on my ring as well and last week I was fine. This week I am worried ... will the setting be of okay quality? Will the diamond look too yellow in the setting? Will the side stones look okay? Will they be too blingy or not blingy enough? Blah, blah, blah. I mean honestly I feel like my family is healthy and all is good in life right now so WHY in the world am I stressing??

So my point is...if you are not normal, just know that you are not alone!!

And I think you will love it when it gets here just as I will love mine. When do you get it?

 

[Daisycakes617]

Re: Anyone have

I'll see if I can find the pictures I took. I really do love it but I guess its not as elaborate as I thought. I can't believe I gave up on the halo style!! I wanted the harry winston style so bad but when I tried it on I wasn't in love. I don't think I will really ever want to change out my ering because I'm sentimental about objects lol.. but I did tell my SO that I plan to start a savings account that I will use to fund future diamond purchases and he was fine with it. So hopefully in 5 or 10 years I'll have enough saved for a cushion that I could put in a nice halo! I want a collection!!

That sounds like a perfect solution! Or maybe your birthstone (or hubby's or future children or the stone of your wedding month - basically whichever you like best!)? I love a colored stone in a HW style halo!

Great Ideas! how would aquamarine and blue topaz look together? those are our birthstones. September is our anniversary month so I was kinda dreaming about something sapphire. I like sapphire better than aquamarine/blue topaz, though london blue topaz is pretty awesome. ok..now I have too many ideas and not enough money! I have to find something else to worry about...like my grad school thesis!

 

[Daisycakes617]

I think you are perfectly normal and I was actually glad to see this post becuase I was beginning to think I was crazy.

I am waiting on my ring as well and last week I was fine. This week I am worried ... will the setting be of okay quality? Will the diamond look too yellow in the setting? Will the side stones look okay? Will they be too blingy or not blingy enough? Blah, blah, blah. I mean honestly I feel like my family is healthy and all is good in life right now so WHY in the world am I stressing??

So my point is...if you are not normal, just know that you are not alone!!

And I think you will love it when it gets here just as I will love mine. When do you get it?

whew! So glad to know I'm not the only crazy person! I was just telling my mom today that I wasn't sure if I was still in love with it and she said that's because it's coming soon and I can't have any more control over the situation. she's probably right. And you're right too...with all the other things to be happy about, we both need to stop "manufacturing" reasons to stress. This is a happy time! We'll love our rings and the guys giving them to us. NO need to be upset. Do you know when you're getting yours? All I know is that it'll be before the end of the year....so about 5 months to go!

 

[madelise]

All the fricken time. I wish I had gone with a simpler solitaire. Oh well. I'm sure my ring will blow me away, as I'm sure yours will blow you away. Sometimes, we get so angsty while waiting, that we'll freak out over every everything possible.


And hey, if you don't like your setting, you can always change it later!

 

[Trasid]

I believe you will love your ring because it obviously sang to you in the store. Once you get it wear it for a while. If it's not your cup of tea then you can sell your old setting and get something else. I wore mine in a temporary very inexpensive setting until I found what I really wanted and now I am second guessing that!!! Fashion changes. I have seen some GORGEOUS halos but it's probable that in a few years halos will not be as popular and another style will roll in to take its place. Also as we get older our taste may change as well. My first engagement ring from my first marriage is now U-G-L-Y. What you have picked out sounds like it will stand the test of time. BTW: My ring should be here in about 6 days. Your waiting sounds a bit more agonizing. Hang in there!

 

[Enerchi]

your title hooked me in!

I have that all the time!! I lust after XYZ and then get "thisclosetobuyingit" and panic... veer off in a different direction... "getthisclosetobuyingtheNEXTthing" and then have regrets/second thoughts - should I go back to #1? was #2 the better idea? is there a #3 out there I should check out?.... you know what I mean!

I think its normal to question decisions of a certain magnitude. Its a huge hunk of money to part with and sometimes, with custom, you have nothing to compare your EXACT idea to. I also find for myself, when I order something and it takes 4 - 8 weeks to arrive, during those weeks, I get easily distracted (...SQUIRREL!!...) and question my decision. (I can have challenges over what breakfast cereal to eat, too, so take all this with a grain of salt... or a cheerio!)

I'd say you are perfectly normal and once you see your ring on your finger, you'll fall in love all over again!

 

[junebug17]

Oh, I would say you are normal! I think it is common to second-guess decisions, especially with such a major purchase - but I think you are going to fall in love with your ring all over again once it's on your finger! The fact that you loved it when you tried it on, and a halo just didn't sing to you is a really good sign you made the right choice. Can't wait to see it!

 

[Wednesday]

I can't believe I gave up on the halo style!! I wanted the harry winston style so bad but when I tried it on I wasn't in love.

I am pretty confident you'll be thrilled with your ring based on the above and that you immediately loved the setting you chose (and even tried on more just to make sure). When you stick with something you thought you wanted but your gut tells you it's wrong/it doesn't look right is when you set yourself up for unhappiness/lost money/a reset.

I had ring regret because I felt cornered into a certain setting. I had an idea of a three-stone setting I wanted to look into, and found a similar look at Tiffany's. Tiffany's was the first place we went and the only one they had was huge, so I could not get a sense of how it would look.

In the meantime, we went to the jeweler we were really going to use to look at settings. They had no three stones but my eye was immediately drawn to a Van Craeynest setting. I asked how the designs on the ring held up over time and the jeweler's answer made me afraid to pursue that. (I later found out more about how Van Craeynest makes their rings and they are quite durable.). They did not seem too helpful in helping me find a setting.

We requested smaller three stones from Tiffany and when those came in, I wandered around trying on different things and was surprised to see a Lucida looked nice on my hand. My then-bf did not understand why I was trying different things on. I tried on the three-stone and was less than thrilled with it. I suggested maybe looking at different shape sidestones but my bf wasn't really hearing it. He thought this three stone was what I really wanted and do that was what I was going to get. I kind of gave up then.

Went back to the jeweler and they picked two three stone settings out of a book. One I didn't like on sight and the other looked okay. I looked at a wax mold of it and asked some questions about certain concerns I had. Those were pooh-poohed away. I felt like I had no power because I wasn't the one buying it.

When the ring was ready, my SO asked if I wanted to come see it. I said no, he could inspect it to make sure it was okay. I just felt not a part of it, even though I was physically there while shopping. I kept looking at the Tiffany three stone online and thinking about what my ring would look like.

I didn't see it until the proposal. I loved the diamond center stone but did not like the sidestones and the parts of the setting that bothered me in the wax mold still bothered me.

I started off on my own trying to fix the sidestones to start, but getting the right gemstones was very difficult. I also wanted larger sidestones to get the correct proportions but the setting I had couldn't accomodate it. The setting seemed to be made for a larger centerstone than mine, so metal showed around the stone. I had to get a few other things fixed and every time I was without the ring and wore a cheapo cz stand-in, I liked it so much more on my hand. But whenever I had the ring in my possession, I felt compelled to wear it.

My SO was upset. I had no extra funds and had to plan a wedding. But I also had to rescue the beautiful diamond from its less-than-stellar surroundings. I got upset whenever I looked at it, which was every day as it was only a few feet from my face. Not good.

Then, in starting to look at wedding bands, I went to Tiffany's and saw the Bezet in the case. I immediately loved it and had to try it on. I then tried on a wedding band with my three stone and discovered that the only element of the e-ring that I liked, the gallery, would be covered up by a wedding band. I almost cried right there. There was a dream ring I loved, and I had an e-ring that would need to be changed before the wedding because I would really hate it once it was paired with a band.

I kept trying to get the three stone properly executed. I could not find the right stones and none of the settings were exactly right. In looking at pics of settings, my eyes kept going back to the Van Craeynest settings. It became clear I was running out of options and it was getting close to the wedding. I woke up one morning and just knew it would need to be reset into a solitaire, and as the center was on the smaller side as it was originally a three stone, I'd go for the Van Craeynest or the Bezet style. I had received a decent-sized tax refund so I could afford to do it without going into debt.

Bezet style was going to be impossible to source on short notice, so I called Van Craeynest. I also liked the idea of going with VC because it was the first/only setting that caught my eye when shopping with my SO, so it would feel more a part of our engagement experience. I tried on some samples in a local store and found one that would work. I shipped my ring to California to be reset. When it came back, I opened the box and found an absolutely gorgeous ring. I could not believe I owned something so pretty. It was just right, and I was thrilled to wear it. I could then move on with choosing a wedding band to go with it.

Better to do what you did than to go through an experience like mine! Lots of time and money down the drain, months of me being upset and wanting to throw the ring into the ocean, an upset SO, and extra stress in addition to wedding planning. Ugh!

And if I ever have the funds, I will totally buy a Bezet-style ring and a large square shape diamond like the Lucida, or a cushion or asscher. You like what you like!

 

[Daisycakes617]

Thank you all for sharing your stories! I feel much better about the ring. My mom showed me a picture of it that she had saved on her phone. I guess I deleted mine because I wanted to "forget" what it looked like so that I could be surprised whenever he decided to propose. Clearly, that wasn't the best idea lol but when I saw the picture I felt a little better and I'm sure I'll like it. I think maybe one day I'll be able to get a nice size cushion in a halo for myself and then I'll have that look that I like. Although, after hanging out here, I'm starting to like the OECs. Maybe I can have one of those too

I can't believe I gave up on the halo style!! I wanted the harry winston style so bad but when I tried it on I wasn't in love.

In the meantime, we went to the jeweler we were really going to use to look at settings. They had no three stones but my eye was immediately drawn to a Van Craeynest setting.

@Wednesday, I've never heard of this designer before. I just looked them up and WOW! Beautiful jewelry! Your journey to your perfect ring sounds pretty bad, but I'm so happy that everything worked out in the end! Thank you for sharing!

 

[Chewbacca]

I'm glad you are feeling better!

I didn't like how I felt when I was twisting over tiny details before I had seen my ring IRL, so I made an effort to think bigger picture. It really helped!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Anyone have "ring regret" before getting the ring?

I agonized over my ring before I got it. FH picked the stone and I just showed him some pictures of styles I liked and he went to the jeweler and had them design it. If I had chosen everything and I had been involved with the design more I think I would have ended up with something different, however, strangely enough--now that it's on my hand, it bothers me less. FH would be really hurt (not to mention he'd think it's wasteful and frivolous) if I said I wanted to change my ring. I hope this doesn't come across sounding ungracious and like I feel like i have a hunk of junk, but it's like not having the option to change it keeps me from feeling restless like I *have* to change it/fix it/make it perfect.

 

[recordaras]

I can't believe this is the first thread I saw in this section, as I came over to ask the exact same question...
Last week we placed an order for a stone that I fell in love with the second I saw it. It was smaller than we were originally looking for (0.64 vs 0.75-0.8 ), and also a J color (while initially we were going to go with G-H), but it's a Brian Gavin Signature Hearts&Arrows: http://www.briangavindiamonds.com/diamonds/diamond-details/0.635-j-vs2-round-diamond-ags-c-104065356049
Ever since we placed the order, I've been SO incredibly excited, and happy, and impatient, but today all of a sudden it hit me: I don't know if we made the right choice. Should we have waited a little? Should we have done a larger size? Will the J look yellow? Will the 6 prong setting overwhelm the stone? Should I have gone with something other than 14K white gold? Where did all these doubts come from???

In any case, we did agree that since the center stone is a little smaller than we initially wanted, we will upgrade to a 3-stone trellis in a couple of years (I saw the most amazing rose gold one on this forum with the same size center as mine and it is perfect). I just wish I could go back to being happy and excited.

 

[Daisycakes617]

Hi recordaras! Congrats on your impending engagement! Your ring sounds beautiful so try not to worry! When will you get it? We both have to stop worrying; easier said than done I know but like everyone else said; if you loved it that day you'll love it when you get it for real. I hope to see your pictures soon!

 

[recordaras]

Hi recordaras! Congrats on your impending engagement! Your ring sounds beautiful so try not to worry! When will you get it? We both have to stop worrying; easier said than done I know but like everyone else said; if you loved it that day you'll love it when you get it for real. I hope to see your pictures soon!

Thank you so much! I do tend to overthink things, which inevitably leads to situations like this one, ha. I know I will love my ring no matter what, and now it's just a matter of trying to relax and not get too fixated on the details.
My boyfriend is currently away for 3 weeks, so I'm actually now seeing if the wonderful folks at BGD will be able to shave 1mm off the shank for me and then hold it till he gets back. There is no way I want to be left on my own with a FedEx box that I can't open! As for the proposal, I'm expecting that to happen when we go on vacation in mid-September, so it's still a bit of a wait.

It's still pretty amazing to know that the ring has been ordered! All of a sudden everything feels so real. (And I might just have gotten a huge stack of wedding books from the library to keep me company while the bf is away)

 

[soxfan]

I completely relate....

Before I came here, I was satisfied with my new 2 carat diamond being set in a solitaire by my jeweler. Then I second guessed whether I got a good deal on the diamond. Then I second guessed the price he is charging me for the setting. Then I second guessed his work against Victor Canera's. Then I changed my mind on the solitaire. I decided on a halo. Which I was going to have my jeweler make. Now I am leaning towards having Victor make it.

Some days, I wish I never snooped around here. It's made my life much more complicated.

I am sure your ring is beautiful....I'd just step back from the situation, and focus on other things. Give yourself a break from thinking about it.

And don't come back here until you are ready to upgrade.

 

[Daisycakes617]

Hi recordaras! Congrats on your impending engagement! Your ring sounds beautiful so try not to worry! When will you get it? We both have to stop worrying; easier said than done I know but like everyone else said; if you loved it that day you'll love it when you get it for real. I hope to see your pictures soon!

Thank you so much! I do tend to overthink things, which inevitably leads to situations like this one, ha. I know I will love my ring no matter what, and now it's just a matter of trying to relax and not get too fixated on the details.
My boyfriend is currently away for 3 weeks, so I'm actually now seeing if the wonderful folks at BGD will be able to shave 1mm off the shank for me and then hold it till he gets back. There is no way I want to be left on my own with a FedEx box that I can't open! As for the proposal, I'm expecting that to happen when we go on vacation in mid-September, so it's still a bit of a wait.

It's still pretty amazing to know that the ring has been ordered! All of a sudden everything feels so real. (And I might just have gotten a huge stack of wedding books from the library to keep me company while the bf is away)

I totally agree....knowing that the ring is purchased is amazing and yea, things just got real! I still can't believe this is happening!

 

[Daisycakes617]

I completely relate....

Before I came here, I was satisfied with my new 2 carat diamond being set in a solitaire by my jeweler. Then I second guessed whether I got a good deal on the diamond. Then I second guessed the price he is charging me for the setting. Then I second guessed his work against Victor Canera's. Then I changed my mind on the solitaire. I decided on a halo. Which I was going to have my jeweler make. Now I am leaning towards having Victor make it.

Some days, I wish I never snooped around here. It's made my life much more complicated.

I am sure your ring is beautiful....I'd just step back from the situation, and focus on other things. Give yourself a break from thinking about it.

And don't come back here until you are ready to upgrade.

This website is dangerous! It's made my life more complicated too, but it's for the best because I've learned so much! I can't wait to get my collection started. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to have something made by VC one day! In the meantime I will take your advice and focus on my schoolwork and not my E ring! I can't wait to see pics of your new ring!

 

[msop04]

I completely relate....

Before I came here, I was satisfied with my new 2 carat diamond being set in a solitaire by my jeweler. Then I second guessed whether I got a good deal on the diamond. Then I second guessed the price he is charging me for the setting. Then I second guessed his work against Victor Canera's. Then I changed my mind on the solitaire. I decided on a halo. Which I was going to have my jeweler make. Now I am leaning towards having Victor make it.

Some days, I wish I never snooped around here. It's made my life much more complicated. <----- THIS!!

I am sure your ring is beautiful....I'd just step back from the situation, and focus on other things. Give yourself a break from thinking about it.

And don't come back here until you are ready to upgrade.

<---- otherwise, get ready to submit yourself to torture!!! ...but in a good way.

This website is dangerous! It's made my life more complicated too, but it's for the best because I've learned so much! I can't wait to get my collection started. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to have something made by VC one day! In the meantime I will take your advice and focus on my schoolwork and not my E ring! I can't wait to see pics of your new ring!

Hey daisycakes!! (love your screen name, BTW...)

I can totally relate to how you were feeling. I had my ring made by Christopher Designs (via Diamonds Direct). It was going to be a variation of a CD setting with a halo like a JB Star piece -- so I never really got to see it IRL... no CAD, nothing! I was so excited when my SA and I were going over the specifics to send to CD. But the weeks passed (well... 3 weeks) and I started to really panic. I mean, like, I had nightmares that it came back and the halo looked like this spaceship or something!! But my ring came back earlier than expected and I fell in love with it all over again.

 

[Jumpin_Jacks]

Pricescope doesn't help with that feeling! Sometimes I wish maybe I'd gone larger (.77 XXX vs 1 ct originally and to keep budget in check). Bf could afford more, but I wanted to be comfortable and have funds for future home/traveling. I know though I'll be happy when I get it, I'd like to just wear it already

 

[cygnet]

Here are my two cents:

I think the other posters have given you some really good advice and it's normal to feel a little bit of uneasiness during the wait, especially when PS is full of eye candy that would cause just about anyone to second guess since it's so full of amazing options. But you loved it in the store and you will more than likely love it again when you see it. You probably will be happy without changing anything.

But if those doubts are still nagging you and you seriously feel like you may have made a mistake, it's usually not hard to change it. You said your SO was in the process of paying it off--- if the ring is on layaway, it is really easy to just call the store and tell them you've changed your mind and either get your money back or apply it towards something else in the store. If it was an order from a vendor then that's a little different, but if you have something on layaway, don't force yourself to stick with it if you're having serious doubts. It's easily reversible.

 

[Daisycakes617]

Thanks again to everyone for sharing your stories! I think that I'll be ok once the ring is in my hot little hands! Pricescope doesn't help at all because I see so many different settings that no one has IRL and I think that I want that too! I just like pictures lol..honestly when I tried on different settings they didn't look right on me but they were all beautiful. I'm about 95% sure that if I went back to the store I'd pick the same setting but every time I come here and see something amazing I forget that I probably tried it already and decided it wasn't for me. I think this is my way of finding something to "stress" about since I know he's really going to propose. I'm a weirdo and I guess a bit of a control freak and when I don't have control I make up reasons to fake stress, if that makes any sense. So to negate my stress my bf recently sent pics of the ring to shut me up...

And then I learned to just let it go! he's got a sense of humor for sure