galeteia
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- May 9, 2006
- Messages
- 1,794
I may be a bit all over the place with this, so bear with me.
The short version is that I don't know whether to reset my e-ring, get a 5 year anniversary band, or do nothing , and I keep waffling back and forth, and it's making me very emotional because it's tied in with/surrounded by a lot of personal issues.
Here's the quick version of the backstory: I left my home, career, future, and country to take a chance on marrying a boy I barely knew, moved somewhere that we both hate for his school, have been here almost 5 years, we hate it more than ever, I am the breadwinner and my work situation is unbearable, and his career/schooling has just been hit with a very, very, very dismal setback that could mean the ruination of his career right before graduation. We're both emotionally in shambles after this long protracted school drama that has been on MEGA HIGH ALERT PANIC NOW since spring of last year. That's a long time to be on ULTIMATE RED ALERT stress.
At the very least, we will probably be stuck here another year with this impending doom looming over our heads that won't be decided until this time next year. 
The upside to all of this is that our marriage ended up being the best gamble ever. Plus, I may be able to move jobs, but with the same stress, just different factors. I'll take the novelty, and the excuse the celebrate with a little bling!
When I get this stressed out, I need to fixate on something incredibly detailed because if I don't, I'll fixate on the horrors of our situation and I will crumble under the weight of it. Hello, 5 year anniversary in less than 2 months! Cue anniversary band distraction to the rescue!
So, anniversary band:
Considering we were both taking a huge risk banking on the unknown when we got married, I feel like it deserves some commemoration. I would like a 5 stone band for our anniversary, as it will symbolize each of the 5 years we've been married and fighting this battle together, day by day.
I have a little money that I tuck aside every month for frivolous things, as we're not exactly rolling in disposable income. We deliberately live below our means, however, and have about 3 months buffer saved up, so my little slush fund is free for me to use as I wish. So, my budget is $500. In 3 months it could be 1k, but that much is hard for me to justify spending.
E-ring reset:
A year and a half ago, we got a temp setting as the settings I long for (Singlestone, Van Craeynest, etc) were just so far out of our budget, and will be for a few years. However, I have grown to hate it so much that I find myself using excuses to leave it at home instead of wearing it. You can read about the issues/see pictures in my setting thread. It was suggested to me that I add some engraving to the shank and switch out the head to get rid of the things that bugged me so much, but even that will cost about $400, and others recommended I just get an entirely new setting.
However, the search for a suitable setting is starting to wear me out, emotionally, and time is ticking on our 5th anniversary date, so I need to make a decision on what I am going to do. I just feel so defeated about everything, from the setting to finding an antique 5 stone to the hot mess that is our life and his career right now. Worse, we can't DO anything except wait the year and pray for the best.
Thanks for listening, I could use some gentle wisdom.
The short version is that I don't know whether to reset my e-ring, get a 5 year anniversary band, or do nothing , and I keep waffling back and forth, and it's making me very emotional because it's tied in with/surrounded by a lot of personal issues.
Here's the quick version of the backstory: I left my home, career, future, and country to take a chance on marrying a boy I barely knew, moved somewhere that we both hate for his school, have been here almost 5 years, we hate it more than ever, I am the breadwinner and my work situation is unbearable, and his career/schooling has just been hit with a very, very, very dismal setback that could mean the ruination of his career right before graduation. We're both emotionally in shambles after this long protracted school drama that has been on MEGA HIGH ALERT PANIC NOW since spring of last year. That's a long time to be on ULTIMATE RED ALERT stress.
At the very least, we will probably be stuck here another year with this impending doom looming over our heads that won't be decided until this time next year. The upside to all of this is that our marriage ended up being the best gamble ever. Plus, I may be able to move jobs, but with the same stress, just different factors. I'll take the novelty, and the excuse the celebrate with a little bling!
When I get this stressed out, I need to fixate on something incredibly detailed because if I don't, I'll fixate on the horrors of our situation and I will crumble under the weight of it. Hello, 5 year anniversary in less than 2 months! Cue anniversary band distraction to the rescue!
So, anniversary band:
Considering we were both taking a huge risk banking on the unknown when we got married, I feel like it deserves some commemoration. I would like a 5 stone band for our anniversary, as it will symbolize each of the 5 years we've been married and fighting this battle together, day by day.
I have a little money that I tuck aside every month for frivolous things, as we're not exactly rolling in disposable income. We deliberately live below our means, however, and have about 3 months buffer saved up, so my little slush fund is free for me to use as I wish. So, my budget is $500. In 3 months it could be 1k, but that much is hard for me to justify spending.
E-ring reset:
A year and a half ago, we got a temp setting as the settings I long for (Singlestone, Van Craeynest, etc) were just so far out of our budget, and will be for a few years. However, I have grown to hate it so much that I find myself using excuses to leave it at home instead of wearing it. You can read about the issues/see pictures in my setting thread. It was suggested to me that I add some engraving to the shank and switch out the head to get rid of the things that bugged me so much, but even that will cost about $400, and others recommended I just get an entirely new setting.
However, the search for a suitable setting is starting to wear me out, emotionally, and time is ticking on our 5th anniversary date, so I need to make a decision on what I am going to do. I just feel so defeated about everything, from the setting to finding an antique 5 stone to the hot mess that is our life and his career right now. Worse, we can't DO anything except wait the year and pray for the best.
Thanks for listening, I could use some gentle wisdom.
I must stew on all these new ideas like Gollum contemplating The Precious.
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