Moms employed outside the home

[megumic]

I just received a full-time job offer. It is a job I want. We have scouted daycares and selected one we like. However, I am nervous as hell. Can you calm my fears???

How many hours are you away from home and LO? What sort of schedule do you keep? How to you not let the madness get overwhelming - the sheer schedule of wake up, rush to daycare, work all day, rush to pick up LO, repack everything for the next day, etc. seems insane. Will I get used to it? Any tips for how to make it happen and keep my sanity would be great. For me, I cannot imagine being a stay at home mom for the rest of my life, so going back to work feels natural and seems to make sense, I guess I just need some tips, support, encouragement and suggestions!

 

[bobbin]

It really is a personal thing. I know many of the moms on the board do work full time. I would really struggle with it personally.

I currently work 2 days a week and even on those 2 days I resent having to work, I hate leaving C at childcare and I feel relieved when I leave work after my 2nd day.

I am currently considering applying for a fulltime position to enable us to move back to our hometown and I hate the thought of C being in childcare 4 days a week.

I also find work exhausting. I am the one doing the drop off and pickup. I am also still breastfeeding, so at lunchtime I drop by the daycare to feed her, and then she has EBM at 4pm, so when I get home I am feeding her with one hand, pumping with the other, and feeding myself dinner at the same time! Plus trying to manage my workload into 2 days isn't easy, but you wouldn't have to deal with that if you were fulltime.

 

[dani13]

Hi Meg,
Sorry, I dont have much to add, as I am only going back to work 18 hours a week. Today is my first day back (I dont go in until 1 pm) and I am struggling immensely with it. I've already cried twice today, and its only 7am!!! I give full time working Moms so much credit. Best of luck to you!

ps- Bobbin, why do you feed and pump at the same time? (Just wondering, ha!)

 

[bobbin]

Haha Dani - I feed her her dinner (solids) and pump to replace the EBM for the 4pm feed.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Meg,
My situation is a little different as our son joined our family through Ethiopian adoption when he was 2 3/4 years old (he's 4 now) so I was not dealing with all infant issues (especially sleep!) but we were in the newborn phase of being a family and there were some special issues because of that...anyway, for me it was and is very hard. I am also the sole breadwinner for our family as DH is in school so I feel a lot of pressure and some resentment because of that. Having said that, you can do it and still have a lot of quality time with your child. Although I don't have as much time as I would like with B, we have very special time when we are together and DH has had to really be conscious of how he spends his time with B too, which I think is good.

Between DH and I, one of us were able to be home with B for the first 6 months and then he was in daycare 5 days a week from 9:30 am-6:00pm in a small daycare center.

We had to switch his daycare provider after 3 months b/c we needed a 6:15 pick up and wanted a slightly later drop off. We switched to a small in home daycare provider and that has been a blessing with a lot more flexibility. B was there for the next 4 months full time but when DH wasn't in class or didn't have a lot of homework he stayed with DH so it was really more like 4 days per week.

B started full day public preK in the fall. DH picks him up everyday and T/Th when DH has a late afternoon class, he takes him to his old daycare lady and I pick him at 6.

So, when we have it together, our day looks like this:

Night before, pack lunch and backpack, prep breakfast, and layout my and B's clothes

-7:00 alarm goes off and B usually wakes up and comes running in, snuggle for a few minutes
-7:10 second alarm goes off, start to get up
-7:15 DH's alarm goes off, we had better get moving (B takes off PJs and pull-up, goes potty, I put out breakfast, DH walks the dog, i get B dressed)
-7:30 B is eating breakfast, I get dressed, DH gets the car if he had to park far away (we street park in NYC)
-7:45 need to be leaving the house
-8:15 drop B off at school
-8:45 drop me off at work (then DH goes to class)
-2:45 DH picks B up at school and goes home MWF or takes him to daycare T/Th
-5:30 I leave work T/Th to go get B by 6 (M, F I can work later if necessary and Wed night I have class so don't get home until B is in bed )
-6:30 get home from picking B up (we try to have fun on the 30 minute walk home and if the weather is nice we stop at the playground for a few minutes), make dinner while B plays or helps me cook--try to engage him a lot during this time playing and talking about his day
-7:00 dinner
-7:30 play or bath
-8:00 get ready for bed/read stories/snuggle
-8:20 bedtime
(DH and I watch TV, do laundry, clean-up, do dishes, prep for the next day, do homework, surf online, etc.)

The weekends are all about B. We play, go to the park, snuggle, take naps together, read stories, do housework together...I try to fill-up the "love bank" as much as possible on the weekends so that we can get through our crazy week.

It is not ideal. I miss him during the day and wish I had more time with him. I am grateful that DH can keep him at home on M, W, F afternoons so that his days aren't so long. If we had had more $ when B was younger we would have hired a nanny as B really is much more comfortable at home.

We are trying for a second child right now (TTC and/or possibly adoption) and I will be honest that the thought of going through pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, and no sleep on top of our current schedule scares the bejezus out of me! Toddler adoption is hard, but there are many, many great things about it too!

We love being parents and I can not imagine not being B's mom, so this is how life is right now...

I have work events some nights and DH is usually able to be home with B. If he is not, we have 2 friends who we call on for "babysitting".

We don't go out on weeknights and try to only do things that are also fun and special for B on the weekends. We view our time with him as very, very precious and try to squeeze every last drop of it out of our schedules.

I am tired, I've gained some weight, DH and I struggle to keep the spark alive right now, our friends are not that thrilled with us, and our house is not that neat, but I think this is the best way we can balance things in this season of our lives.

I am done with school in December and that will feel amazing to have another night at home! DH is done with his post bac in May of 2014 and then will have a "lag year" as he applies to med school. He'll work as an EMT then (he volunteers as an EMT now and sometimes takes overnight shifts) but should still have a somewhat flexible schedule.

What has made all the difference for me is having a reasonable boss (I left my previous job a few months after B joined our family b/c they were blatantly antifamily), having B's school/daycare close to work or home, and being confident in the care he is getting. He was in an awful preK for the first 4 months of this school year and it was terrible, plus it took huge amounts of time to volunteer in the classroom making sure he was safe and galvanizing the parents to advocate for our children. We got a spot in a different public preK in January and it has made things infinitely better.

Sorry for the novel, I always found it helpful and eye opening how other people were managing.

If we could swing it financially, I would stay home and/or work part-time but that's not an option for now (or even really the next 6+ years) so I am trying to make the best of it and position our family so that I will have more work flexibility later. I keep telling myself "middle school is a pivotal time and I'll get to spend even more time with him them" .

Seriously though, it is hard to balance work and family/motherhood but also forces you to maximize the time you have with your child and partner.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Meg, I can relate as a mother who was very apprehensive about going back to work, but I've been back for 10 months and am genuinely happy.

I've resolved that there are days I'll feel I can balance it all and days I can't. And it will likely be that way forever.

DH and I both have long commutes. We use an in-home daycare where the hours are 8 to 5:30. A typical day is:

6 - wakeup & shower
7 - Katie has breakfast
7:45 leave for daycare
8am daycare dropoff
9am arrive at work

WORK!!

4:30 DH leaves to pick Katie up
5:30 daycare pickup
5:45 home
6 pm I get home and we feed K dinner
6:45 bathtime/reading
7:15 Katie's in bed

Most days I feel like I have balance. When I'm at work, I'm focused. Once a week or so I do block time at lunch to run errands, run to DSW, go to lunch with a fellow mom...something. When I'm home, I'm in total "mom" mode because I know my time with K is limited.

Before K, D and I used to get home pretty late from work (after 7pm), so now that we're both home by 6 and she's in bed by 7/7:15, we actually have a bit more time together. Sometimes I run out after she goes to bed if I want to do something for myself (I still need some "me" time), but usually we have dinner and watch TV or something.

I think most working moms find a routine that works for them. And if you feel overwhelmed, you can address it and maybe cut back on hours? I negotiated taking a pay cut to work fewer hours and now have Fridays off and it's really helped me to find some balance. Lots of luck to you!

 

[lliang_chi]

Meg, finding childcare you are comfortable with is key to putting your mind at ease. And I said COMFORTABLE with. Obviously no one will care for your child as well as you or your DH. So for me, knowing that Ethan is getting his needs met, interacting with kiddos and being fed, I can live with it.

Typically Ethan is at day care for 10 hrs. Our schedule has evened out with me doing both pick up and drop off (I have a very short commute, 1 mile from work). DH has a long commute, so he just takes care of the dog in the morning. Our morning:

Night before
DH packs diapers (we do cloth) for day care. Before when he was younger: prep bottles and purees/snacks. Take diapers down to car. Fold/stuff diapers.
6AM wake up, give Ethan bottle and he'll sleep. DH gets up, showers and gets ready for work. Walks the dog
6:30AM+ Start getting myself dressed and ready for work. DH leaves for work
6:45AM Ethan wakes up, diaper change and breakfast. Continue getting ready while Ethan's eating breakfast
7:30AM Ethan's done with breakfast, diaper change collect all his stuff for daycare & my stuff for work. Put dog in crate.
7:45AM In the car heading to daycare
8AM: Drop off, filling out charts, dropping off food/diapers etc
8:25AM: Park back in the garage, collect my stuff.
<8:30AM Making my way to work. If I ride my bike, I'm at work by 8:30. If I take the bus, it's closer to 8:45-9AM

Working working working.

5PM: Leave work.
5:20PM: Get home walk dog. Take off to daycare
5:45: Daycare pick up. Collect chart, wet bag, clothes, bottles, etc.
6PM: Home, diaper change, let Ethan play. I leave bottles for DH to wash later that night. 50/50 I'll empty the wet bag from work & start diaper laundry. This is my time to play/hang out with him.
6:30-7PM: DH gets home.
6:45PM Start Ethan's dinner. Start dinner adult prep. DH washes bottles.
7:20PM. Ethan's done with dinner. Clean up or bath time
7:45PM DH's time to hang out with Ethan, playing on the floor or reading a book. Sometimes Skyping with grandparents. I'm working on dinner.
8PM Bed time. DH usually puts him to bed while I make dinner
8:45-9PM: DH and I eat dinner
9PM and later: Shower (I shower @ night), prep for daycare the next day (diapers, bottles, food), finish diaper laundry/stuff diapers.
11:30-ish or later: Go to sleep

In the very beginning you have to adjust your priorities. Maybe your house isn't as clean. Maybe you're not making dinner every night. Maybe you're going to bed later. Maybe you shower @ night instead of the morning. Maybe you wear less make up at work. Well... you get my point. There's always little tweaks you can do to make things run smoother, just keep an open mind.

Is it a lot of running around? For sure. Will you get used to it? Absolutely. And yes, the schedule above does look pretty jam-packed, but there's downtime in there, even if it's for just a few moments.

Also, I get the majority of my PS time in at work, hit the gym @ lunch, run errands etc. It's the easiest time of the day for me, because I just have to worry about myself.

 

[Harpertoo]

Clearly every situation is different, but this is by far the most difficult aspect of parenting I've faced so far.
I worked f/t for the first 3 years. We had a fabulous daycare center that I was incredibly grateful for.
Dropped off at 7:00am(opening) and picked up at 5:25-6:00pm.

I was a ball of stress. I felt I could not spend enough time at either work or with my family. (My daughter thrived, I must say.)
My colleagues had spouses that worked p/t or not at all....eventually my spouse's career had so overtaken mine with compensation & opportunities I left work so we could all moved to EU. We stayed for two years and have been back for about 18mo. I have not gone back to work, but when I consider it, I know I will need to be better about setting limits. I have seen it done, but not at my former company.
It does not have to be all or nothing, but the balance is tricky.

I just want to say Good luck and I hope your colleagues and company are supportive.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Meg, for me the anticipation of going back to work was actually much worse than the reality. I'm lucky in that our daycare is owned by my SIL and is right next door to my husband's building. Plus, I'm able to log into a webcam throughout the day, so that puts my mind at ease the baby is being well cared for. I'm currently looking for a new job because I really dislike my current position (I'm an associate in a large law firm), and I just feel like I'm not able to keep up with the demanding job and billable hour requirements. Despite this, I still think being back at work is not as bad as I expected it would be.

I have found that teamwork with DH is essential to make it all work. Here is what our schedule is like:

4:30/5:00 - DH wakes up and works out
6:00 - I wake up and shower, put on make-up, fix my hair.
6:00/6:30 - Baby wakes up. If I'm done getting ready, I feed him his morning bottle. If I'm still getting ready, DH feeds him.
6:45-7:30 - DH gets ready for the day, and I hang out with the baby and finish getting ready for the day.
7:30/7:45 - DH leaves with baby, and I finish getting ready and leave for work.

5:30/6:00 - DH picks up baby, and I leave work.
6:30/7:00 - DH makes dinner while I hold the baby or watch him nap, and then we eat dinner.
7:30/8:00 - DH hangs out with baby while I do the dishes, wash bottles, and prepare next days bottles.
8:00-9:00 - Bathe baby, feed him last bottle, and put him to bed.
9:00 - Hang out with DH until going to bed.

We are flexible, and just do what we need to do. I have had to let a lot of things go, like not cleaning or tidying up the house as much as I would like. We make errand-running a family activity on the weekends. Most of all, we spend as much time with the baby as we can in the evenings and on the weekends.

 

[amc80]

B is in his second day care. I hated the first one. But I didn't realize I hated it until we moved him. I never felt comfortable with him there, but thought it was just normal "I don't like daycare" jitters. Nope. I love the new daycare, and so does he. So finding a place you are comfortable with is about 75% of the battle.

I'm lucky, his daycare is less than a mile from my work, which means I can visit during the day. At least twice a week I go hang out with him on my lunch break.

As far as his schedule goes- he now gets up around 7:15. I try to be ready at that point, so I can have some time with him. I change, feed, and dress him. If I still need to get ready I'll put him in our bedroom so I can watch him while I'm finishing up. Then we go downstairs. He plays in his excersaucer while I load up the car or pack my lunch or whatever. At night, we are home by 5:30. I normally feed him in his high chair and (if I'm lucky) he'll stay there while I get dinner ready. Otherwise daddy plays with him. The bedtime routine starts between 7 and 7:30 with bath. His routine is short (bath, bottle, bed) and he's out by 8ish. After he's asleep is when I can do dishes or clean or relax.

I'm really lucky that his day care makes bottles. Which means I leave some there and they wash them. Not like a takes a ton of time to wash and make a few bottles, but every little bit helps.

You will get used to the routine and it will become, well, routine.

 

[stephbolt]

I work FT and LO is eight months. It's hard and busy and even when you are in a groove one little thing does throw the routine off for several days, but it's doable. In my pefect world I'd work PT so I had more time to take care of all the other stuff and maybe work out, but that's not in the cards for us right now. Here's our schedule:

6 am get up, shower, get ready for work, take care of pets, eat breakfast
7 am wake up LO and DH, nurse LO
7:30 leave for work, DH takes LO to daycare
8:15-4:30 work
5:30 pick up LO
5:45 dinner for LO, play with her, etc. If I have time and she's happy on her own for a few minutes I might do a few chores, but not much since this is my time with her.
7:15 - start getting LO ready for bed
7:45 - she's down for the night, DH gets home sometime around now.
7:45-8:30 - wash bottles/pump parts, pack bottles and food for daycare, prep dinner, pack lunches, other small chores as needed.
8:30-9:30 - dinner and relaxing with DH.
9:30 - lay out clothes for the next day, bed!

Most of the home chores and errands get saved up for the weekend. We also try and fit in some solo time for DH and I to pursue our own interests while the other is on baby duty.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I have two kids, neither of whom are infants (one will be 3 next month and the other 5 in May), but both have been in daycare for a long time. Unfortunately, both my husband and I work downtown and have long commutes, so our kids are in daycare for a long day.

What works for us is to slightly stagger our schedules. I start work at 6.45am and have to leave the house at 5.50am on the days I don't telework. DH then does drop off and pick up on those days. We get their lunches ready the night before; actually, we get everything ready the night before, for both us and them. We both leave work around 4pm-ish, but while DH goes to pick them up, I go straight home and start making dinner, b/c I'm the faster cook. On the days I telework, I do the daycare duty and DH comes home and cooks.

Once you get into a routine, things will become much easier. Always expect there will be some battle or obstacle, though, and then you'll be pleasantly surprised when there's not! We did find that an abrupt pickup could be hard b/c they're usually having fun and the transition is difficult. If you can spare 5 mins to stay, it can help sometimes, though I know that when I was doing pick up and dinners by myself, I didn't feel like I had 5 mins to spare. Always keep something quick and easy you can throw together for dinner. For us, that's grilled cheese and soup, pasta, or breakfast for dinner. There are days when I just can't bear the thought of cooking and that's when we bust out our back up dinners.

The other helpful thing for us is that it's all hands on deck at night until the kids are in bed and the house cleaned and prepped for the next day. No one gets to sit on their butts while the other is running around like a headless chicken; that's a perfect storm of resentment brewing. So when I'm bathing the kids, DH is taking out the garbage, etc.

Unfortunately for us, our 3 year old gets up at the butt crack of dawn- usually by 4.15am and nothing (and I mean NOTHING) gets him to sleep in longer. So we are battling exhaustion right now, but during the rare times both kids are sleeping well, we feel so much more rested.

 

[megumic]

Wow, ladies, thanks for all of this incredible advice and for sharing your schedules and tips with me. HOW DO YOU DO IT!? Maybe it is easier when you're in it, but harder just thinking about it??? I really appreciate you all sharing your balancing acts! I hope I'm as good at planning as all of you seem to be. Thank you!

As Murphy's Law would have it, or I don't even know what, but the offer I received was rescinded this morning without explanation. I am beyond shocked, mortified and disappointed all at once. That is another story for another day...

 

[tammy77]

Meg, I'm late to the party and just read your update. What the heck?! I've never heard of an offer being rescinded. That just seems so wrong! I'm so sorry.

That said, I am a very firm believer in the saying "Everything happens for a reason." and I think it really applies in this situation. Being a FTM is hard. I've done it since my 8 year old was 8 weeks old and I never have enjoyed it more than I enjoyed being with my kids. I'm actually really, really looking forward to being a SAHM when this little one is born. It's hard work, the pay stinks but the bonuses are totally worth it.

I know that being a SAHM isn't for everyone, and I'm NOT bashing anyone that does enjoy it. I'm just speaking from my own perspective of when I was at home vs. working full time.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Meg, I was checking back in to ask you accepted the offer when I saw that it was rescinded. That is beyond frustrating that they did that! I didn't even know that could happen! I'm so sorry, I know you must be very disappointed.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Meg, that is bizarre, especially without any explanation. The only time I've heard of that happening is to a former classmate of mine. He interviewed for and was offered a judicial clerkship, and he apparently asked for time to consider the offer. The judge called him back and told him that he was no longer offering him the job due to his request for more time to decide. But I've always heard you are expected to accept judicial clerkships if you are offered the position, which I think is somewhat unique to judicial clerkships. So sorry that happened, but I'm sure it just means it wasn't meant to be. For what's it worth, it's great that you have options. I would stay home in a heartbeat if circumstances were a little different. But we get free, high-quality daycare and I have a good paying job, so it's a little harder to justify me staying home. Plus, I don't feel like DH would be fully supportive of me staying home, even though we could swing it financially if I really wanted to stay home.

 

[megumic]

Thanks ladies. Yes, I am disappointed, but almost think I may have dodged a bullet. The attorney is a solo and needs an associate b/c she is so busy. She interviewed me Friday, made the offer Saturday morning without even checking my references, we discussed details Sunday, and then she called Monday and rescinded without explanation. I checked with my references and she never called them. Kind of seems impulsive and perhaps she is a loose cannon??

I can't figure out what went wrong! I did ask her lots of questions, but in my opinion I was merely doing my due diligence so I understood her expectations before accepting the position. I asked about billable hours, whether I was going to have a blackberry and was expected to be available on weekends/after hours, vacation/sick time, etc. I did negotiate a teeny tiny bit and asked to hvae vacation time immediately as she was not willing to pay the salary I had requested, but I didn't think that was out of line. She also specifically said she liked that I ahd a child b/c I would be able to relate to the clients better -- it's a matrimonial/family practice. But then I think the baby is the reason she renegged...ugh. Who knows. I have to stop thinking about it.

I couldn't even get out of my pajamas yesterday b/c of it. Feeling a little better today. Just frustrated.

 

[JGator]

Meg, she probably realized she couldn't afford to pay another attorney. I'm sure it wasn't personal and had nothing to do with anything you said or she wouldn't have offered you the job to begin with. I'm in HR, and we rarely rescinded offers, but when we do it usually has to do with financial constraints/hiring freezes that get put into place.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Meg, I agree with JGator. My husband started his own firm. He currently has one partner, and they have had one associate from time to time. It is very expensive for solo practitioners to take on associates, and they need to keep the overhead as low as possible to make sure they still bring home money for themselves. Your questions probably just made her realize that she couldn't swing it financially. Regardless, it sounds like it just wasn't going to work out. If you do decide to go back to work in the future, I'm sure there will be other opportunities.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I work from about 8:30 to 5pm each day. Our kids are in daycare from 9 to 5pm. My husband works from home and we have one car. I work 1km from our home and our daycare is about 5km from our home (in opposite directions unfortunately).

We make it work! Life is not too hectic. You need to be a good team.

We all get out of bed around 7:15. My husband makes brekkie for the boys and makes their lunches at the same time, and I get ready and gather the boys' clothing and other paraphenalia for school. When they finish eating DH gets dressed and I get the boys dressed and gather all their lunches together and get their shoes and coats on. Then we all leave together around 8:15 and DH drops me at work then drops the kids off at daycare.

We have a schedule of meals and DH does some small prep in the day -- boils pasta, cuts some veggies. Our weekday meals are all things that take less than 30 mins to prepare. That is a must. If you can't prep in the day you must prep the night before.

At 5pm DH picks me up at work and we get the kids together. We are home by about 5:30 and I finish dinner prep and get it all on the table. We try to eat together but sometimes the boys eat and we eat after them. Our youngest really needs to eat by 5:30 so that trumps family dinners right now. Then from 6-7 the kids play. Ryder is in bed by 7pm and Hunter stays up after. We may eat after Ryder is in bed. Hunter watches about 30 mins of TV in there then he is in bed by 9pm. We then watch TV until midnight

We have a cleaner. And our house is not often tidy. Weekends are wacky kid time 24-7 and so we don't do chores much then. But it works. We are all happy. ETA: I should add that I must work. I need to work to have intellectual stimulation and purpose other than family life, which I can find overwhelming in its demands of my time and energy. So I don't find being a mother and a professor hard. It is just who I am!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I'm sorry the job feel through! But another will come along soon I am sure.

The other helpful thing for us is that it's all hands on deck at night until the kids are in bed and the house cleaned and prepped for the next day. No one gets to sit on their butts while the other is running around like a headless chicken; that's a perfect storm of resentment brewing. So when I'm bathing the kids, DH is taking out the garbage, etc.

This is absolutely true! My husband and I feel like every waking hour we are with the kids is go go go go go for both of us!

 

[megumic]

Thanks for the support ladies. As if this whole thing wasn't crazy enough already, the attny emailed me and wants to have lunch to discuss. WTF. I guess I have to go, but still. Kinda not sure about all of this.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I might ask her to perhaps tell you what she would like to discuss because you are very busy on the job hunt and as a mom. Phrased oh so politely of course.

 

[amc80]

Thanks for the support ladies. As if this whole thing wasn't crazy enough already, the attny emailed me and wants to have lunch to discuss. WTF. I guess I have to go, but still. Kinda not sure about all of this.

Hmm, interesting. I'm guessing she will say something like "I really want to hire you but an unable to due to budget concerns" or something. You know, "it's not you, it's me."

 

[JGator]

I think she wants to offer you something else. Maybe a different schedule/compensation structure. Or, else she would not call you for lunch.

 

[sunnyd]

Meg, I think it's odd that she wants to do lunch now, but maybe it will explain some things? Who knows.

When I went back to work less than 2 months ago, things were absolutely NUTS for a while. Not helped by the fact that DH dropped a TV on his hand at work and required surgery. So he was out of commission for a couple of weeks. It was so stressful until we got used to the new normal. Here's the schedule for us now. It seems much calmer than it did at first!

6:00 - we all get up around this time, I go down and eat breakfast, pack lunch, feed cats, while DH feeds, changes and dresses H
6:45 - DH leaves after putting everything in my car and I finish getting ready
7:00 - I leave with H
7:35-ish - drop off H at my SIL's
8:00 - work!
5:15 - pick up H
6:00-ish - get home with H, DH is already there usually
6-7 - playtime, start getting ready for bed
7:30 - jammie and bottle time
8:00 - H is usually asleep by now and whoever isn't feeding her has started dinner
8:15 - hopefully we're eating dinner by now! Last night it was 9...
9:15 - I go to bed because I'm damn tired

I usually get some laundry folded or dishes put away while she's playing in the evening, otherwise it's all left for the weekend. Sunday, more specifically, since DH works on Saturday. I can't WAIT until he can change his schedule to have weekends off instead on Sun-Mon!

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Meg, sorry the offer was rescinded... Let us know what comes of lunch.

I work full time and have since Eloise was eight weeks old. I'm going part time next year. It's just too much. As a teacher, though, I'm constantly bringing my work home with me. It never ends, unfortunately.

4:00- wake up/pump/plan
6:30- Eloise wakes up
6:45- I leave for work
8:30- DH takes E to the nanny's house

4:30- I leave work, pick up E
5:20-7:30 is Eloise time... Play, bathe, feed, bed
8:00- Pump, work, make dinner
9:20- DH gets home. We eat. Go to bed.

Rinse, wash, repeat.

If I didn't have a supportive husband, it simply wouldn't be do-able.

 

[megumic]

UPDATE:

The woman who rescinded the offer is psychotic and I'm SO glad that didn't pan out, as I've just accepted another offer that will be a great fit. It is 2-3 days/week in the office, 2-3 days/week working from home and of course court appearances as needed. I will be working for a family I know very well and they're super flexible about everything, which means the world to me.

SO. C is headed to daycare full-time. What the heck do I need for daycare? Here's the list I have so far -- please supplement!

- breatheable blankets
- crib sheets
- iron on labels with his name
- diapers
- wipes
- wet bags
- bibs
- change of clothes
- diaper cream
- sunblock


Do I need an insulated lunch box for C? They have a fridge and it's only 10 minutes from home so food won't spoil quickly. Also any reccs for food storage containers? No glass allowed.

Ugh, I'm so nervous about all of this but really excited to get back to work! YAY!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Congratulations!

I don't think you need an insulated lunch bag. Our daycare is also 10 mins away and the food and breastmilk are fine for that short of a drive.

You might also get label stickers (aside from the iron-ons for clothes). We use Name Bubbles to label lunch containers and bottles. They also make them in a small enough size that they can go on clothing tags, too, if you don't want to do iron-ons plus stickers.

Pack a lot more extra clothes than you think you'll need!

Also, what I found helpful was to get a child-sized backpack to carry lunches and bottles in (and whatever else you need to haul back and forth). Ours are from LL Bean, but I'm sure any child-size bag will work. Make sure you can wear the pack, and then as your child grows, he can wear it as well, which frees up your hands.

Not sure how old your child is and he or she is still using bottles. I'm sure your daycare will go over stuff like this with you, but I kept a few packets of frozen breastmilk at daycare just in case. I think I also sent in a few pre-made formula bottles, just in case daycare had to evacuate for some reason and they didn't have access to my breastmilk. Because my son was on breastmilk, we sent in our bottles already filled for the day. We didn't use a special bottle carrier- just stuck them in a plastic bag, which was key b/c on occasion they leaked and who wants breastmilk leaking everywhere??

 

[monkeyprincess]

Megumic, congratulations on the new job. Sounds like you definitely dodged a bullet on that one. What did the crazy lady have to say for herself about why she offered and then rescinded?

Every daycare is different, but for Ev, we have to provide diapers, two changes of clothing, sleepsack, sunscreen (once he starts going outside) and pacifier. They provide the sheets, bibs, toys, and everything else. They also wash any of his blankets and sheets once a week. We use ready to feed formula, so we load the bottles up every morning and send them with him. We use this insulated container to keep the bottles cold (even though it's like a 5 minute drive) http://www.amazon.com/BUILT-Neoprene-Pack-Bottle-Black/dp/B0007VP8AY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366125280&sr=8-1&keywords=built+beer It's very classy I know , but it works perfectly!

Good luck Megumic! I hope the transition for you and your little guy goes well!