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I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate you!

Dougsgirl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2012
Messages
318
I am having a moment. Please talk me off the ledge.

Many of you know that I am in the process of designing my dream wedding ring that I hope will someday be an heirloom for my family. I have posted several times about the details so I won't do that again here.

My frustration today is about TOO MUCH information. (Which is why I both love and hate this website.). I have spent a tremendous amount of time and money on this ring, but the more I read the more I am second-guessing my decisions.

I originally wanted an antique stone but was steered away from it by another diamond site. Then I turned to the AVC, which I love, but now I keep seeing all of these amazing OEC's and OMC's here on PS and I am envious. They always seem to make my heart sing.
I also chose my designer without doing much research. And though they are very good and well respected, they do not do a lot of rings in the style that I chose. They did a great job bringing my vision to life, but they used a CAD/cast model. Now, thanks to PS, I have found several designers who specialize in my style of ring and they are 100% hand-fabricated. I can't help but compare the details. The hand-fab ones seem so much more "precise".

Here's the deal... I have been working on this project for 6 months and it is a one-time thing for me. There is no option of spending another 5-6k on a new design/designer. I REALLY want to love the one I am getting. And if it wasn't for all the info/comparisons here on PS, I know this wouldn't be an issue. It is a STUNNING ring, but I am wrestling in my head with all the what-ifs and should-ofs. Should I have found a great OEC? What if I'd used Victor?? Will other PSers think less of my ring because it is not hand-fab? (Stupid, I know, but the thought has crossed my mind.). Arrrggghhhhh!!!! I hate the second-guessing!!!

I guess I just want to know if any of you have experienced this??

This ring is unlike anything in my family or my social circle. It is completely blingy and gluttonous. ONLY on Pricescope am I having a problem. Part of me feels like I should log off and never come back, so I won't have the temptation to compare and envy. But the rest of me says that is ridiculous and I need to get a grip! PS is filled with wonderful people and massive amounts of education and I just need to enjoy it for what it is and be thankful for what I have.

Thank you for letting me vent. I still have to wait until about October 5th-6th to get my finished ring, so I think I am also just ready to have it on my hand for good!! It's been a long process...

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!
 

Laila619

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 28, 2008
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11,676
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Totally normal! PS makes you second guess and overthink things. However, if you're truly not happy, is there any way you can trade in your AVC and have Jonathan source you a true antique diamond?

As far as the setting goes, Greenlake does amazing work. No one really will even know that it's cast vs hand made. In fact, there are some benefits to CAD/cast rings in that they are more precise than something that's made by hand. It's too late to switch designers at this point anyway, right? Plenty of PSers own lovely CAD/cast rings, and I'm sure no one looks down at their rings. ;)) Your only other option would be to sell the setting once it's completed and start over with a new designer if you still don't love it.

Take a deep breath and remind yourself that your ring will be absolutely beautiful. But if you're truly not happy, now is the time to make changes while you still can. Maybe you're still comparing/worrying because you aren't 100% thrilled with your ring. I found that when I finally got my dream ring, I stopped feeling jealous of others' rings. So maybe yours just isn't The One yet. Then again, maybe you need to stop comparing and embrace your ring for what it is. Do you think you will be able to be 100% happy with your ring when it's finally completed?
 

hearts-arrows_girl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
1,118
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

You poor thing! I hate information overload, it can drive you crazy! I think the AVC is a wonderful choice, it has the best of both worlds, old world looks with the benefit of being new and more precisely cut. And your setting will be beautiful. I have a cast setting and I love it. My designer cast the basic 6 prong head shape, then carved in details by hand, so it is one of a kind, and I am sure yours will be too. Try to not worry and just enjoy your ring. It sounds delightful and I can't wait to see pictures of the finished project.
 

Lula

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 5, 2009
Messages
4,624
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Dougsgirl|1348035438|3270709 said:
I am having a moment. Please talk me off the ledge.

Part of me feels like I should log off and never come back, so I won't have the temptation to compare and envy. But the rest of me says that is ridiculous and I need to get a grip! PS is filled with wonderful people and massive amounts of education and I just need to enjoy it for what it is and be thankful for what I have.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

If you are feeling this way now, my guess is it will only get worse after you receive your ring. I say this from my own experience -- your mileage may vary. But if I had it to do over, I would have logged off and never come back after my first purchase. I wasted a lot of time and money changing my mind and "upgrading" instead of being happy with what I chose. That this happens a lot on this site leads me to believe that my experience is not uncommon. My advice is for you to take a break, be grateful for your beautiful new ring, and come back (if you want to) to Pricescope in a few months.
 

NTave

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2011
Messages
279
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

I think it might be time to pull away from PS for a bit. You have made some incredible choices for your heirloom ring, and it's going to be beautiful. I think we all lose a little perspective here at some point, and I know when I do I need to leave for a bit. Pricescope is not normal small town USA...or even surburbia. I really thought 1 carat was the norm in my town, bc that's all I saw when I was getting engaged..now that I'm not I realize that most people here have a half carat or a not so great cut larger stone and plain settings..your ring is going to stand out. If you leave for a bit and an antique stone is still your love then change it then..but I think an AVC with ideal light performance is going to sparkle like mad. I think it's too much info, too many choices that's clouding what should be a very exciting time for you.
 

yopeyone

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2012
Messages
90
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Don't feel bad... You're not alone. Before I joined this site to ask for opinions, I was pretty much set on 1 option (a POH) with a possibility of an AVC. I had reviewed them in depth, had a video of them, and spoke to GOG about them. The POH was my choice.

I came here to ask for some opinions and just got mauled in regards to my decision and just the abundance of information.

So in the process of me being on here:

1) I am now second guessing myself, with everybody telling me to go AVC
2) The AVC I wanted was taken by a PS lurker within hours of me posting it

It's a great place to get opinions and knowledge - but sometimes too many opinions can do more harm than good. I appreciate all the advice I got here, but in some ways it may have done more harm than good. Just go with your gut / what feels right.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
58,547
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Aww, dougsgirl, I don't advise taking a break if you enjoy coming here! What I have found is that there are new rings posted here all the time and we all probably second guess or find things we like better whether we admit it or not! So you are normal! I think the thing to remember is that there are a huge range of budgets here and most of us have to balance our wants with our budget! I am just not going to spend $10k for a setting! But I enjoy looking at those gorgeous settings here! I also have to remember that the world I live in is not exactly like my PS world, so I have to balance that out, too.

Regarding your stone choice, I think you made the best possible choice for a cushion cut diamond. Trust me, if you bought a wonky but charming old cut, you'd probably have a lot more doubts knowing you could have found a better stone. Some of the girls here have bought many old stones before they found the "keeper". Some of us don't have the time or patience to deal with all of that buying, returning, setting, unsetting, reselling, etc. It is a super fun hobby for those that do! I am sure I will pay as much for my 1.5-1.8 ct. AVR as some of these girls paid for 2.5 ct. OEC's. But you know what? I will have a perfect, gorgeous stone, and I won't regret it a second! You probably know that I brought home 2 AVC's this weekend, and I can tell you without a doubt, they are going to be better than 95+% of the old cushion cuts you'll find out there. It would be great to have a perfect example of an old cut stone, but they are hard to find. So be really, really happy that we have access to great cushions with the best optics!

I am about to get a new ring (I hope..if he gets a diamond I want) and I also want it to be an heirloom. And I am a little fearful about choosing a setting because there are so many choices and naturally I'll find one I like better at some point. At that point, I can buy the setting and put a colored stone in it if I have to have it! We'd all be paralyzed and buy nothing if we were afraid to buy because of the better thing that comes along! So I can't wait to see your new ring and I am sure it will be gorgeous!!!
 

motownmama

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 9, 2008
Messages
8,207
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

It does sound like you're being driven crazy on here. I think you should perhaps take a break.
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Step away from the crazy.... ;))

PS has been around for awhile, and I gather will continue to be so. You may not believe this now, but there is time in the future for other bling projects. I thought my e-ring diamond would be my last, but I was wrong. My next project was years into my time here and took all my PS "knowledge" to produce exactly what I wanted. But I still love my cast, STOCK setting e-ring.

Enjoy your ring and your diamond. There is always something that will grab your eye here on PS. The trick to to enjoy what you have, and if you are fortunate enough, aspire to a different project in the future. ::)
 

Laila619

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
11,676
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

If there's any feasible way at all you could still change things and it would make you happy, I would. You don't want to always have regrets or wonder 'what if.'
 

Frenchcut

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
Messages
280
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Have a break :cheeky:

I was also overwhelmed with information when I started looking for my ering...I changed my mind every other day about the setting and the stone and it drove me crazy. I finally stopped thinking about it for a few weeks (but I admit it was quite frustrating at the time) and it helped me prioritse.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
33,227
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

There is only one solution.
Stick around and keep reading PS.
Keep buying more and more till you starve to death.

Problem solved. :wacko:
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 22, 2004
Messages
38,364
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Repeat this mantra: there will always be someone out there with a bigger and better stone / setting / what have you. Once you can accept that, you'll be able to ogle all you want without feeling like you should have done this or that instead.
 

cookies

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 5, 2010
Messages
706
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

`` guess I just want to know if any of you have experienced this??"

Yes, I have. I kept getting new pieces because I didn't feel completely satisfied with what I got. Not all of them are rings. I was (and still am) pursuing something that is perfect in every aspect. At the moment, I am obsessed with die-struck jewelry. Before that, I was obsessed with hand-made/ hand-forged pieces.

I've spent a lot of money on jewelry that I don't wear. If I could start over, I would do many things different. But I guess that's life. It takes time to learn things, as well as one's likes and dislikes. What I do nowadays is, when I crave a new piece, I step away from PS for a while, trying to give myself a chance to cool off. This has worked well on me so far.
 

marymm

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 21, 2010
Messages
5,520
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Second-guessing yourself is natural I think - it is such an important purchase both because of the intrinsic worth of the ring and because of the money involved - but honestly I think you made excellent choices - your 1.87ct J-SI1 AVC is truly gorgeous - to my eyes, each AVC looks a little different, and yours so beautifully melds the look of a true old cut with the incredible stone performance of the AVC - I also really love your GreenLake setting - I think GreenLake is filled with immensely talented people and the company is able to create/recreate a wide array of setting designs and styles.

If it really is only on PS that you are doubting your choice of stone and setting, then give yourself a break from PS - stop bombarding yourself with threads and pics - let yourself have some time away from PS, and use that time to happily anticipate the arrival of your finished ring!

If instead it is only on PS that you allow yourself to face the fact that you truly wish you had made different choices - then I would put a halt on the ring-building and contact my vendors to figure out what my options are (could GOG bring in some vintage OECs and OMCs so you could trade in your AVC? will Greenlake transfer your monies to another setting design once you've chosen a different stone?)

P.S. Most of my projects have been colored-stone rings - and I'm still happy with them - but I take my time and make sure in my own mind the center stone and the selected ring setting really do "belong" together - I did make two wrong choices (bezelling a stone which really needed to be in prongs, and an intricately-carved shank that just didn't please my eye) but I was able to correct those mistakes without incurring extra costs. PS for me is a remarkable place of education and resources and camaraderie of those with like interests - it is a place that informs my choices and selections but once I make them, I remain confident in my choice (while still permitting myself full exercise of return policies, etc).
 

hearts-arrows_girl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
1,118
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

I just looked at your "Sneek Peek" post. Your ring looks amazing "as is". I think you are crazy for doubting your choice. You did a fabulous job, you did NOT settle, it absolutely looks super blingy. You did great, and your ring can go toe to toe with any ring.
Good job! Wear it with pride! And heck, stay on Pricescope, because you will see just how well you did! :appl:
 

novicediamond

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 11, 2012
Messages
122
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Awww Dougsgirl I sooo empathise with you!! When I was shopping for my E RIng I thought I knew what I wanted till I found PS and got educated, it was all great until I had to actually place my order with GOG and poor Lynda, I changed the setting three times having my AVC shipped back and forward between the west and east coast from Tacori to Mark Morrell and back to Tacori again! When i finally got my ring I will even admit I was disappointed the halo was 'too small'..!!,, I posted my second guesses on PS and EVERYONE advised me to live with it for a while and not make any rash decisions..it was the best advice ever cos when I took it out to the shops and realised it sparkled like MADD not like ANY stone Id ever seen ANYONE wear, I realised I was one very lucky girl to have an AVC , Ive never seen one here in the UK. I took the ring into local B&M store to see what a gold wedding band looked like with it and their eyes were poppin out!! and drooling, they had never seen a stone or setting like it ( Tacori 2620 plain shank, AVC M colour 1 carat).

see the thread here..

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-m-is-here-avc-discoball-in-tacori-halo-pic-heavy.178047/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-m-is-here-avc-discoball-in-tacori-halo-pic-heavy.178047/[/URL]

I really then over the coming weeks fell totally in love with my E Ring as I realised it really was the best I could have got for our budget, plus both stone was bought from GOG who do upgrades and setting from Tacori also do upgrades , itmade me feel I did have some comeback in the future years if I ever found a spare 20K to re-design it!

I say take a break from it for a few weeks, get some perspective, be thankful you have this opportunity, and dont take it totally 'be all end all' have fun, enjoy the process, it really SHOULD be fun :) Wishing you every blessing with your project..
 

Dreamer_D

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Dec 16, 2007
Messages
25,251
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Am I right you do not have your ring on your finger right now? I always second guess things when its not on my hand.

Get it finished, get in on your hand, and take a PS break for a few weeks. I bet your feelings will change.

If not, save up and change it. You have an upgrade policy. You can save for a new mount. Sure you want this to be the forever thing, but maybe its not. Release that pressure!
 

two_little_birds

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 6, 2011
Messages
1,290
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

hearts-arrows_girl|1348079222|3271073 said:
I just looked at your "Sneek Peek" post. Your ring looks amazing "as is". I think you are crazy for doubting your choice. You did a fabulous job, you did NOT settle, it absolutely looks super blingy. You did great, and your ring can go toe to toe with any ring.

I agree 100% with what HAG said. :appl:
 

webdiva

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 20, 2011
Messages
1,268
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Dreamer_D|1348079960|3271089 said:
Am I right you do not have your ring on your finger right now? I always second guess things when its not on my hand.

Get it finished, get in on your hand, and take a PS break for a few weeks. I bet your feelings will change.

If not, save up and change it. You have an upgrade policy. You can save for a new mount. Sure you want this to be the forever thing, but maybe its not. Release that pressure!

Ditto. I also second guessed myself while the ring was in production! Relax. Have a cocktail. Come back after you get it and take copious pics of it! :)
 

yennyfire

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jun 6, 2010
Messages
6,872
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Many of us have been there. My biggest regret is that I wasn't patient enough to wait until I was SURE I knew what I wanted before I pulled the trigger. I went through two versions before I found "the one". Now, I adore my ring and will never change/upgrade it, but I can credit PS with making me want an equally kick a$$ RHR! And I've been second guessing that one for ages. I chose not to post about it here until I have it in my hands because I've found that I have a hard time synthesizing everyone's opinions and I've realized that the only opinion that matters is mine (and MAYBE DHs!! ;)) ).

Your ring is lovely....I love the sentiment in the daisy design and can't wait to see the complete set with the ring and band. Try to take a deep breath and hang on til the ring is on your hand. I think you'll adore it!
 

Enerchi

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 4, 2011
Messages
10,658
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

First--- I'm all about Webdiva's advice to: go have a cocktail.... who can resist a good diversion?? ;)) oh... what was the topic again!??

Dougsgirl, there is probably not a single person on PS who hasn't had diamond or setting "envy" during their time here!! Its kinda the nature of the beast- we are all drooling over "the next big thing" and oohing and aaahing and EVERYTHING is so amazingly stunning that there are just about a BAZILLION-JILLION gorgeous options out there!!! How is one person supposed to only love one setting?? I mean --- that's just not 'natural' - LMAO!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: (monogamy is a challenge sometimes... :wink2: )

Temptation aside, PS is a wonderful, supportive community of amazing like-minded people who all enjoy lovely things and are so generous with what they share with all of us - photos, info, support... I would miss that if I were to step away for a while. :halo:

Please know that your ring is going to be STUNNING!!! You have a fantastic stone and your setting was TDF - it's just a bad case of missing your diamond! Once you have your baby back in your hands and on your finger, you'll be so happy you will be posting hundreds of pics for us to enjoy! :bigsmile:
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,225
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

It can be really hard to be on here. Especially when you are in the market for something.

There is always bigger, better, different....

I wouldn't borrow trouble. Just be confident and wait, once you have the ring then you can see how you feel about it. And go from there.
 

Dougsgirl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2012
Messages
318
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

Thanks everyone... I needed that!

It's true, the ring is not on my finger yet. I'm still waiting, and I think it's the waiting that's killing me. And while I wait I've been reading about all of these other amazing rings/stones/vendors/designers on PS.

I really do love my design, and I didn't do it hastily. I put a million hours into finding all of the details that really spoke to me. And I even had the design changed several times. And I really am thrilled with my AVC! I think it is the most beautiful diamond I've ever seen in real life. And DiamondSeeker... I appreciate your affirmation that I made the right choice over an antique stone, for this particular ring. I think you are right that the AVC is the best of both worlds for my e-ring. Maybe someday I can make a gorgeous pair of earrings or a pendant out of OEC/OMC's. I feel like I'm going to have to have one someday... :naughty:

And thank you Dreamer and WebDiva for encouraging me to relax.. and I am always up for a cocktail!! (I've had more than a few during this process! LOL) You are right that it is OK if I decide to change my mind someday. I hope I won't ever want to, but if I do, it's not the end of the world.

And thank you Hag and TwoLittleBirds for the very sweet comments about my ring!! :love:

Novice... thanks for sharing your experience! I can't wait to have this AVC on my finger and see the reactions it will get! I had never seen one before until coming to this site. I'm sure most people still haven't.

Enerchi... you always make me feel good!! Wanna have a cocktail with me?? I think we could cause some trouble together!! :naughty:

Yenni... It's true that it is hard to process everyone else's opinions, sometimes it is too much. I love all the thoughts and ideas (you guys helped so much in the creation of my design) But ultimately I have to do what Yopeyone said... I need to go with my gut. Good reminder!

And to everyone else who took the time to reply... Thank you. You guys are awesome. Thank you for letting me know that it's normal to overthink and second-guess, especially when waiting. Thank you for telling me I'm not the only one. Thank you for being a safe place to vent, and a great group of people who challenge me, encourage me, support me and make me laugh!!

You're the best! :love:
 

milton333

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 8, 2007
Messages
637
Re: I just need to vent for one minute... PS... I love/hate

In jewelry, as in life - once you've purchased, stop shopping. Being here is like window shopping. Back away from the PS.
 
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