Do you expect parents to open gifts at a b-day party?

[fieryred33143]

I''m in the process of planning DD''s b-day party. I''m a little overwhelmed and have all these questions running through my mind

.

Anyway, is it common not to open gifts at a child''s b-day party? I''ve been to 4 children b-day parties this year and a couple last year. The only party where gifts were opened was for the 7 year old. The rest did not open gifts.

Is this common? Do you expect gifts to be opened? I''m trying to come up with a decent "schedule" so that we use our limited time in our b-day space wisely.

Thanks!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think it depends on the age of the kid. Really young kid's parties I wouldn't expect it (we don't open gifts at my toddler niece's b-day) because at this age, b-day parties are really just glorified group play dates. I'd probably expect it at an older kid's party though because at that point it's fun for the kid to open his/her gifts in front of everyone.

 

[ChinaCat]

Fiery-

I plan on having O open his own gifts, write thank you notes within a week (in Spanish and English of course).

Obviously kidding. I think of a first year bday as more for the parents and friends/family to celebrate and wouldn''t necessarily expect my gift to be opened. I think it would be time-consuming, messy and overwhelming to the kiddo.

My friend just had her daughter''s first year party and she did not open gifts at the party. She saved them for her actual birthday.

Let us know what you decide/how it goes!

 

[TravelingGal]

We didn''t open them for Amelia''s second party. I realized that maybe we should have when some of the older kids wanted to know what she got. But it still wasn''t enough for me to bother (and because a few of the older kids are brats and I wasn''t exactly prone to giving them what they wanted. I know, I''m a b*tch.)

 

[curlygirl]

I haven''t had my kids open gifts at their parties and of all the parties we''ve attended, nobody has opened their gifts in front of us.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

My kids didn''t go to b-day parties until they were in kindergarten so I''m not sure about 4 year olds. If that''s the protocal (not opening during the party) then just follow "the rules."

With my kids, I''ve found that the present part takes up too much time, but the kids are old enough now that it''s appropriate to have them open and that is just the way it''s done. As my kids have grown older, parents are now asking that gifts not be given out. I really support that idea. We meant to do it this year, but I thought parents may think that''s weird. . .however, next year we WILL ask that no gifts be given since I''m seeing more and more parents do so.

Oh, and my kids ALWAYS give thank-you cards. Since each of my kids had 15 friends at each party, it took about 1.5 weeks to get them out. I love when a photo is included.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 4/28/2010 12:33:52 PM
Author: TravelingGal
We didn''t open them for Amelia''s second party. I realized that maybe we should have when some of the older kids wanted to know what she got. But it still wasn''t enough for me to bother (and because a few of the older kids are brats and I wasn''t exactly prone to giving them what they wanted. I know, I''m a b*tch.)

This year, one kid told me he already had the item we gave him. I felt bad and asked what he''d like instead and he said some bakugan or similar and later I talked to his mom appologizing about the situation (I felt bad). Turned out the kid LIED/manipulated me. . .I kept the gift my son got him and we never replaced it w/what he wanted. lol

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 4/28/2010 12:29:30 PM
Author: ChinaCat
Fiery-

I plan on having O open his own gifts, write thank you notes within a week (in Spanish and English of course).

Obviously kidding. I think of a first year bday as more for the parents and friends/family to celebrate and wouldn''t necessarily expect my gift to be opened. I think it would be time-consuming, messy and overwhelming to the kiddo.

My friend just had her daughter''s first year party and she did not open gifts at the party. She saved them for her actual birthday.

Let us know what you decide/how it goes!

This really made me lol!!

We wanted something small but I keep getting invited to all of these birthday parties (we have TWO on Saturday) and I feel bad not inviting them. It''ll be in a park so the idea of opening gifts and picking up all the wrapping paper after doesn''t sound fun.

If it were up to me, no one would bring gifts. She still has toys from Christmas that she has not played with.

 

[fieryred33143]

Oh and TGal

Date: 4/28/2010 12:33:52 PM
Author: TravelingGal
We didn''t open them for Amelia''s second party. I realized that maybe we should have when some of the older kids wanted to know what she got. But it still wasn''t enough for me to bother (and because a few of the older kids are brats and I wasn''t exactly prone to giving them what they wanted. I know, I''m a b*tch.)

My FI''s best friend didn''t open gifts for the same reason lol! At the end of the party though, one of the kids said "he probably got stupid gifts anyway" and her son begged his mom to let him open the gifts so that he can show off.

Seriously, kids are way too grown up these days.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 4/28/2010 1:48:04 PM
Author: fiery

This really made me lol!!

We wanted something small but I keep getting invited to all of these birthday parties (we have TWO on Saturday) and I feel bad not inviting them. It''ll be in a park so the idea of opening gifts and picking up all the wrapping paper after doesn''t sound fun.

If it were up to me, no one would bring gifts. She still has toys from Christmas that she has not played with.

Just wait until kindergarten and first grade. We had 25+ birthday invites those years. . .slowly they tapered off (thank goodness as all those gifts, each year, cost over $400!). This year, my sons have been mostly invited by close friends and the parties are smaller. Around 6 kids or so and at destinations like bowling alleys (seems to be a big hit) and roller skating.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

T opened a few gifts towards the end of both her parties. This past year she was pretty into it and was figuring out that she got to KEEP the stuff she opened. The first year she thought it was fun to rip the paper and an older kid helped her. It was pretty informal. Most the people went home by then but a few kids wanted to see her open their gifts so those were the ones we did open.

 

[Pandora II]

Fiery, we''re doing a trip to the zoo for D''s birthday and I''ve invited 3 other couples with young babies (14 months, 6 months and 5 months) - I''m guessing they will all bring a gift for Daisy (who has so many toys already that my brother rang me today asking if he could buy/borrow some for their kid from me rather than buy their own...

) and we''ll open them later at home rather than in front of everyone I think as that is what happened at the 14 month old''s 1st birthday party - but then they had about 40 guests...

Oh, and having said I wasn''t doing anything for her birthday, I now have plates shaped like rubber ducks, napkins with rubber ducks and plan to make a duck cake, cupcakes and cookies... so quack to my attempt to be blase

 

[butterfly 17]

We don''t normally open gifts during the girls birthday parties.

I like to send thank you cards and it''s a little hard to figure out everything when everyone is there, especially when there are other/older kids and they want to play with the toys that were just opened.

I feel like it just gets to the point where they don''t even appreciate what they get sometimes. They open one gift, throw it to the floor and open another. If they are taking too long to open them, an older kid will grab it and do it for them AND THEN START PLAYING WITH THE NEW TOY! Pieces get lost, wrapping paper and ribbon is flying all over the place, you can''t figure out who gave what because the attached card gets lost or better yet, there is no card, but it was written on the wrapping paper that is now unrecognizable.
And on top of this, you still have to make sure everyone is entertained and the food and drinks are stocked up, lol.

i honestly prefer it if my kids just got clothes, pajamas and socks and underwear are always good, or books since they love them.

 

[ahappygirl]

My son is 6 and has opened presents all all his parties except a basically adult get-together when he was one and his party at a bowling alley age 5 - we would have opened them at the alley if the kids had wanted to and there was time, but they understandably just wanted to play and eat cake/pizza the whole time. When he turned six the party was at our house and there was time, not too many kids/ presents (6) , and they all wanted to see everything. I took him to a party for 4 year old twins and they spent 30 minutes opening about 50 gifts- there were at least 35 kids there. I felt sorry for the kids opening the presents - it''s hard to have the social graces to handle repeat gifts, things they have at home already, things they don''t like, presents from someone they hardly know, being enthusiastic about one friend vs. another, etc under an enormous crowd of viewers when you''re just a kid, especially if your parents are clueless.

Recently a girl from Kindergarten had a party for the whole class (13 kids) and other friends, and the invitation specifically said not to feel obligated to bring a gift because the present was having her friends at the party/ being able to have it at the specific location. She had an enormous pile regardless and didn''t open any there - the kids were busy playing but my son did wonder on the way home if she liked what he picked out for her. No big deal - she thanked him at school and mailed a cute thank-you note.

My advice is just do what works for your child depending upon his/her age and the situation and be prepared to be flexible.

 

[butterfly 17]

Date: 4/29/2010 8:37:41 PM
Author: ahappygirl


My advice is just do what works for your child depending upon his/her age and the situation and be prepared to be flexible.

I completely agree with this!

I forget to mention that my case is an exception as I have three girls that are all born in September, so I have one big party at the beginning of the month while the weather is still warm. Plus we have a lot of kids/people usually since we have a huge family and it''s usually have a pool party, so it ranges anywhere from 20 to 30 kids and all the adults (playing poker and singing karaoke).

So, imagine opening up 30 gifts, but multiplied x 3. It can get overwhelming. lol

 

[mayachel]

No kids of our own (yet!) but we went to two 1year old parties this year for friends of ours. Neither party included opening gifts. One of the friends sent us a text photo of her child in the cute outfit we bought her the first time she wore it, thank us again for it. I thought that was a sweet thing to do.

 

[missjaxon]

Maybe this isn''t the norm, but every children''s birthday party I have been to and even mine growing up we always opened gifts, even at the age of 1 (of course with parents help). It is one of the big events of the party along with the singing of Happy Birthday and blowing out candles. I have never heard of anyone not opening gifts at a birthday party, maybe it is just a regional thing? Either way I agree with the others, it should be whatever works best for you and your birthday girl.

 

[swingirl]

We always open gifts in front of the guests. My feeling is everyone wants to see you ohh and ahh over their gift. My children learned early on that you appreciate every gift and thank the giver right then and there. Of course, written thank yous are send for kid party gifts. For adult birthdays our family limits it to cards and maybe an inexpensive little something just to open up, so their is no need for a written thank you.

Most of the parties my kids went to did the same. It seems rather anti-climactic to open your gifts by yourself away from the party atmosphere.

Of course, I am not talking about babies or toddlers. If they are overwhelmed by a big party and lots of guests they might be close to the melt-down stage at the end of the party!

 

[missy]

My sister and her dh have a joint bday party for my 2 nieces (who are now 4 and 6) who were born only 3 weeks apart. So there are lots of kids at their parties and they have them at places like animal venues where the kids can learn about and pet the animals or this year they had it at a gym where the kids were running around doing lots of activities. Afterward there is always pizza, cake etc. There is never enough time to open the gifts at these parties. Usually the family and some close friends go back to my sister's house for dinner and that is when my nieces are allowed to open a few gifts.

When we were little we didn't have as many kids at our parties and we didn't have them outside of the home so totally different now. I was born in the summer so I always had pool parties at the house and we always opened up the gifts at those parties. My sister's bday parties were also at our house and again there were many less kids so always possible to open up all the gifts. My sister said these days if you don't invite everyone from their school class, dance class, gymnastics class, etc. you would be out of the norm. IMO it's way too many kids but they all seem to have a blast so who am I to judge.

 

[Haven]

Around here the kids typically only open gifts at the party once they are old enough for all of their friends to enjoy the experience. My good friend just had a huge party for her son's first birthday, and they didn't open the gifts until after the party. We brought them all back to their place and opened them with just the family and close friends, kept a list for thank you cards, and that was that.

Our cousins opened the gifts at the party for their one-year-old daughter, and it was really boring for everyone there, to be honest! They had a lot of the old-timers in the family in attendance, and many of them were dozing off or just talking over the gift opening as it happened. I feel like the gift opening is for the kids, so if they can appreciate it, and if you have the energy to make it happen at the party, go for it.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

We have always opened presents while the guests are having their cake and ice cream, after the main meal. That way those who want to stay and watch can and those who don't can leave.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Rarely have I seen it. I prefer when it is not done during the party because it is boring, there are usually repeat items, and oh, it's really boring.

 

[TravelingGal]

Around here the kids typically only open gifts at the party once they are old enough for all of their friends to enjoy the experience. My good friend just had a huge party for her son's first birthday, and they didn't open the gifts until after the party. We brought them all back to their place and opened them with just the family and close friends, kept a list for thank you cards, and that was that.

Our cousins opened the gifts at the party for their one-year-old daughter, and it was really boring for everyone there, to be honest! They had a lot of the old-timers in the family in attendance, and many of them were dozing off or just talking over the gift opening as it happened. I feel like the gift opening is for the kids, so if they can appreciate it, and if you have the energy to make it happen at the party, go for it.

Well, two years after my other post, we did indeed open presents at Amelia's party this year on April Fool's Day. She was interested, other kids were interested, and they enjoyed it . It was at the tail end of the party, so it had thinned out and the parents just sat around, had wine, and chatted while we casually opened the presents.

I don't expect kids to open them at parties, but we did this year and it was fine.

 

[Haven]

TGal--Oh! I didn't realize how old this thread is!

I think it's commonplace to open gifts when the kids are old enough to *want* to open them, if that makes sense. DH and I got a real kick out of all the cranky old-timers at our cousins' party, to be honest. Our cousins didn't put out very much food and drink, and everyone was just kind of sitting around there house with not much to do, so I think that accounted for the crotchetiness. Their daughter had no idea what was going on, so it was really just like watching two parents getting really excited about the gifts, surrounded by their old timer family members who just wanted something more to eat.