Working w/the crabby public-vent/advice wanted

[packrat]

How do you handle crabby/bitchy/rude/belligerent people in your job? I work as a secretary in a Dr's office. I don't know that I've ever worked a day there in the 7 1/2 years I've been in the office w/out being snarked at by at least one patient. Sometimes they swear at us, they yell, pound the counter, point fingers right into our faces etc.

Yesterday a patient just sat there and shouted "This is BULLSHIT" over and over when I asked him to fill out a paper of information we are now required by the government to have in our system. I tried to explain I have no control over it-dude honestly, do I ENJOY getting yelled at 50 times a day for having to spend all of 4 minutes filling out a form? Last week I was yelled at b/c the form asks for a signature stating they've been offered the HIPAA policy to read and she hadn't been offered it. I offered it-and she yelled at me again and refused to sign, threw the pen at me and stomped off. Luckily after that many years I've honed my catlike reflexes.

We encourage the patients to call and see how Dr. is running-she also does OB so if she has a patient in labor, she has to leave at any given time for delivery, she's on the trauma team and may have to leave, and also has to cover the ER some days. Also, if our patients show up at the ER w/a non emergency problem, we have to see them in the office immediately-which also obviously puts us behind in schedule.

This is a conversation I had yesterday:
"This is so and so, I have an appointment at 11:40 and am checking to see what time I should come"
"Oh, ok, sure let me look quick-"
"EXCUSE ME! EX-CUSE ME I SAID!"
"um..what was that?"
"I WAS *NOT* DONE SPEAKING TO YOU!"
"Uh..ok..."
"What time do I need to come?"
"I was trying to-"
"EX-CUSE ME IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO *SHUT UP* SO I CAN FINISH TALKING?"
"Uhh..what????"
"SHUSH! I have to take my glucose test today and I want to know when I need to COME!"
"Uh, yeah, what I was trying to say is if you want to come now, by the time you're done w/your test she'll be ready to see--"
"HELLO?! Shut up! You keep TALKING and I'm trying to find out what time to COME b/c I'm not sitting there for THREE HOURS AGAIN THAT'S JUST COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS, you always say to call and now I want to know when to BE THERE!"
"so..yeah, anyway, she's running about an hour behind, but if you come now-"
"WHY is this SO HARD?? I'm telling you RIGHT NOW I'm NOT sitting there for an HOUR waiting to be seen!"
"You have to wait an hour after drinking the solution-"
"That's NOT what I'm saying!"
"If you would LISTEN, what I'm trying to say is, she's running an hour behind, if you come NOW and drink your solution, by the time the hour is up she'll be ready to SEE YOU"

And then she told me I "*better* be right" and I just hung up. I was so irate when I got off the phone when I tried to talk spit was flying everywhere and I was just shaking like a leaf.

We tell Dr. when patients behave that way, and she listens, but that's about the extent of it. They're not like that to HER of course, she's the Dr, we're just lowly front office staff.

So what do you do in these situations? I don't feel I should have to accept being treated this way just as a regular course of my job duties/descriptions. Do you hang up the phone? Walk away from the patient screeching and waving their arms in the waiting room? Smile and turn your attention back to your computer work when the patient is standing at the counter yelling?

My very first job, I worked in the laundry at a packing house. I was treated BETTER by those workers than I am by the patients! Of course, in that job, if someone wanted to be rude, I was able to give them a big Missi smile and say "Go **** yourself"

 

[maplefemme]

I work with patients, their families and physicians in a medical facility, I understand what situation you are sometimes put in.
Here's how I deal with such individuals, first, I don't take it personally, second, I in no uncertain terms, yet calmly tell them that I will not tolerate abusive, belligerent behaviour. I'm unwavering in this.
I go above and beyond for my patients and their families, I always will, but I will never tolerate abuse and neither should you.
People are accountable for their behaviour, being frustrated, being under stress is no excuse.
My own physician's office has a sign behind the front desk "Abuse towards staff or other patients will not be tolerated and may lead to patients permanent removal from this practice". I admire my physician for this, she runs a tight ship.
What does your boss say? Do you have any support?

I had a patient's husband completely blow up at me one night because he thought I hadn't given his wife any breakthrough for pain. He was very stressed and protective of his wife, understandably. He was staying the night and stormed back to her room in his robe.
I sped up after him, meds in hand, and kindly explained to him that it was in fact two hours ago that he'd asked for breakthrough meds for her and that when I'd gone in to administer them he had already fallen asleep and I didn't want to wake him, I just gave them to her and left.
He profusely apologized, I told him it was fine, don't worry about it, you love your wife and you're looking out for her.
That's a situation where I don't mind taking a hit, I'm understanding, but what you are describing is different and I have experienced that too and it is all out abuse.
People like that will only treat you as bad as you let them.

 

[AprilBaby]

Boy I understand and sympathsize! I work at a dentist and get the same. Luckily my boss dismisses abusive pts. Not much help, but he always says " remember those cranky people pay your salary". Why do people have to be so mean?

 

[maplefemme]

So I just saw the part where you said that the physician just sits and listens when you talk about it, so I suggest just taking it into your own hands, put your foot down firmly with the patients. If they complain to your boss then address whether your boss feels its ok that her patients are abusive to you and to the point of throwing things at you. If she backs you up, how does she wish you to handle it if she feels you should still handle it differently? If she expects you to accept the abuse then I'd be job hunting.

 

[Haven]

That really is ridiculously rude behavior.

I used to answer phones for a firm that managed companies' retirement benefits. We took a lot of verbal abuse from people who didn't understand why their payments stopped at the end of their terms. (Why people believed payments from a five-year payout would last forever is beyond me.) We were trained to let them finish their rant, never interrupt, and when they stopped to say "I hear what you are saying, and I understand your frustration/anger/etc. I am here to provide any details or information you want or need about your account, and I plan to do that. However, I will not remain on the line with you if you continue to speak to me in an inappropriate manner." If they continued the abuse, we interrupted and said, "I'm hanging up now because you are behaving inappropriately. Please call us back when you are ready to discuss this calmly."

I know it's different in-person, but I think remaining calm and telling them exactly what you expect from them, in terms of behavior, is your right. I hope you can have people removed for misbehavior. I would not go back to a doctor whose office allowed that kind of behavior to go on.

So sorry you have to deal with this, Packie.

I once had a woman throw a sweater in my face and scream that I was useless. I worked in a clothing store, and she was upset that the sweater didn't come in purple.

 

[minousbijoux]

Gotta say Packrat that I have tremendous respect for you. While I agree with Maplefemme that it would be wise to draw the line and calmly but firmly stand your ground, I am amazed at your patience. I know for sure that the second time the person cut me off on the phone, I would've started getting irritated and probably raised my voice. The third and fourth times, I'm sure I'd be in a shouting match, probably leading to hanging up. It takes a great skill set to be able to do what you do.

I'll speak for a second from the other side of the reception desk and say that my sons' orthodontist has trained his staff to be in charge, curt, directing and not customer service oriented. I have learned to do what they want, when they want me to do it - me with the short temper! I have not once thought of talking to the orthodontists about it, because its very clear that support staff do the front office, and the orthos do the back, plus I wouldn't want to risk getting on their bad side. That is what you have going for you; most of us don't want to seriously rock the boat and risk damaging the relationship. The flip side is that the doctor should absolutely back you as it sounds like you are very calm, responsive and understanding with patients. As MF suggests, if he/she doesn't, you will find someone else who will.

Good luck, dust and strength.

 

[Laila619]

That sucks, Packrat! I cannot believe people would be so rude. Geesh.

You would love me, because I go out of my way to be extra friendly to the front desk staff--they're the ones who are more inclined to do you a favor or squeeze you in if you are kind to them. And plus they work so darn hard! They don't need BS from rude clients.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I like maplefemme's suggestion of being polite and calm, but firm. You are NOT there to tolerate abusive behavior.

 

[rosetta]

Thank god the NHS has a zero tolerance policy. I would not tolerate this against myself or any member of our team.

Really, no one should have to put up with this.

I think you need a staff meeting and close ranks against these people.

 

[kenny]

One thing that might help is to pretend you are just an actress playing a part.
Then they are not mistreating you personally.
They are only mistreating the character you are being paid to play.

There are times in my life when I turn on this actor thing, like when I'm negotiating the price of a new car.
I play the part of a great negotiator and say things and act in ways that even blunt, harsh Kenny you know and love would never say.

 

[packrat]

Thanks for the replies, Maple and April! April, I don't get the meanness either! Probably b/c I'm not that way, it doesn't compute for others to be that way!

Dr.'s not one for confrontation...at all. Not w/patients and not w/the staff, that's why to me, the office runs so poorly. She's very much "ignore it, let it roll off your back"..and that's just not something I agree with. To a certain extent yes, I get when someone is waiting to find out something important and we're running behind or something has happened, like getting a cancer diagnosis etc, I completely get that emotions are high, so totally I would shrug it off. It's the other stuff that really gets under a person's skin. Like you mentioned Maple, w/the husband being so upset about his wife's pain not realizing you'd already taken care of it, you handled that wonderfully!

We've sent registered letters terminating service twice since I've been there-both times ended up serving to be an eye opener and after that the people were a lot nicer-they still ended up transferring services but in the meantime it straightened up. Both times it had to get to the point where the entire staff refused to help them before Dr. would do anything about it. And, my husband has called Dr before and told her that he's not appreciative when I come home in a yowly mood or crying b/c I've been yelled at all day and nothing gets done about it. He's even mentioned to her he'd spend the day in the waiting room and take care of it himself if she wouldn't.

I am currently looking for other employment. Yesterday really hit home that I don't want to spend my work days as a whipping post b/c some people don't have manners.

It's funny b/c we have a patient that the entire staff can not stand at *all*. She's growly and frowny and scowly and generally ill tempered. When I first started there, everyone would roll their eyes and moan and groan when they'd see her on the schedule or coming around the corner and the interaction at check in would be "thanks, have a seat" with a completely blank face, and I was about half scared of her. Being me, I'm a smiley chirpy little bird, so I started grinning and talking to her, asking her things etc..she started smiling now and again-now, she jokes around w/me and her face actually lights up when she comes to the window-nobody else seems to still care for her much but I notice they do try and talk to her a little more. At a different job I worked at a couple years ago while still working for Dr, that particular patient happened to come in and the office manager came running out to intercept her in order to "save me" but when the patient saw me, she was all smiles and came in so I could help her. The office manager kept peeking around the corner to make sure I was ok..and after the woman left, she came in and was just floored that the woman had been smiling and laughing and joking around w/me.

Some patients respond well when you act like you see them as more than just a patient. The others..I've just had my fill of. When Dr. does finally say something to the patient initially, it's more along the lines of "we'd appreciate it if.." not, "this will not be tolerated". And, the office is a bit of..I dunno, I'd call them enablers personally-if a patient freaks out most of the time they come in, a lot of the times they're ushered right in and kowtowed to, and that just fuels the fire. It's illogical. I've been a bit of a dissenter since I started there..everyone is very "That's just how it's always been, that's just how it is, we just have to deal w/it b/c nobody will do anything about it" and I'm not like that.

I'll try that Maple, putting my foot down w/them, thank you! It's nice to be able to vent it out and calm down.

 

[packrat]

Dangit I'm so slow replying.

Thanks for the support! I need to work on the calm part..when issues happen, my heart is immediately up in my throat and my mind goes blank and the stuttering/stammering begins. I feel like..I'm in a subservient role, and especially when the patients are older than me, into my parents or grandparents ages, I *really* have a hard time.

Kenny, I'll have to work on my acting skills..I wish I had a writer to give me razor sharp retorts.

A while back, it was a terribly foggy day-the kind you can't see your hand in front of your face, and Dr was called to the ER on trauma team. An older couple came in for their appointments, we told them Dr. was in ER and we weren't sure how long it would take but we'd let them know soon as we heard anything, they're welcome to wait or run some errands and come back etc. After about an hour, the wife came up and reamed me up one side and down the other. A short time later, Dr. beeped over from ER and explained the situation, and again the wife came up to pound the counter and wave her finger at me. After she sat down again I went out and sat next to her. I said "Here's the situation as we know it. There was a multi car accident involving several adults and some kids...little kids. Dr. is right now over in the ER along w/the other clinic Dr's here trying to save those kids until the helicopter can get here and take them to Omaha b/c their injuries are so bad we can't handle them here. I have two little kids at home and the last thing I'd want Dr. to be doing if we were in that situation is worrying about YOU sitting over here to have your wart removed. If you feel you're more important, by all means, walk on over to the emergency room and demand to be seen"

Another time after getting yelled at for not having better "control" over the schedule and that I "should have known" an OB patient was going to go into labor and Dr would have to leave I jumped up and stuck my arms all crazy towards the computer and made "zzzzzt zzzzttt" sounds like a sorcerer-the patient looked at me like WTF are you doing? I said "Thanks, I dunno why I didn't think of that sooner, schedules all fixed, oh wait!" and I cocked my head to the side "What's that God? Oh, ok, a baby is coming in exactly 14 hours and 11 minutes I better clear the schedule? Awesome, thanks!"

That stuff doesn't go over well w/Dr or the office manager tho..of course by this point I really don't care.

Dammit Haven, you should've run right out and knitted a PURPLE sweater!!

Minousbijoux, that's a different kind of office behavior, wow-I don't think I could work there! It's funny, the differences in how offices are run!

Laila, you've hit it on the nose! If you were our patient, you'd get preferential treatment. We love the ones who bring us treats and are super nice and understanding. We have one older guy, like a Grampa's age, who I adore like no other. His wife died and it just broke my heat. When he came in to be seen afterward, after I checked him in I went and sat w/him in the waiting room and held his hand and we cried a little together. We sat there w/our heads together, holding hands and talking about his wife until it was his turn to be seen. I love that guy.

 

[maplefemme]

You're welcome packrat
You are a sweetheart and have wonderful character. I know how rewarding it is to be able to get through to a patient that is considered crotchety. Sometimes they just need a little kindness, a little compassion, you're perfect for that.

Stand strong and go into work next with the thought in your mind that abuse will be tolerated no more. If it doesn't get better then I hope your job hunt lands you in place that deserves you, with headcase patients few and far between.

Good luck!

 

[VapidLapid]

It is an epidemic, this rudeness. I would add it to their patient files as part of their diagnosis. The caller you described, I think i would have said, " If I have to teach you how to be polite, and to mean it, before I can answer your question fully this will take longer." But then decades ago I was an Ed DeBevics waiter and so have been trained in rudeness retribution. Also decades ago my sister started out at the reception desk in a big NY casting agency. She had a sign on her desk that said, "First Hurdle".

 

[MyDiamondSparkles]

Ughh! I feel for you. Some people just have unreasonable expectations--especially in a doctor's office and especially in an OB office. Of course if they were the ones having the baby they'd feel totally different....sigh. I work with the public too. Somedays and better than others and some days I feel like letting the person on the other end of the conversation/ email have it--like I really want to tell them off although I never have. I am sure you know this feeling.

I try to never take anything personally. I know I give my customers 100% customer service--what more can they expect? More often than not someone is having a bad day, just had a fight with their kids or husband, stuff like that. I usually kill them with my kindness and of that comes an apology from them that they are sorry (and just like I suspected) they had a fight with their husband, etc. I run my own online business so I could basically do whatever I wanted and not get in trouble (HA!) but I always try to remain calm and really just feel bad for the person who is having such a rotten day they have to act like they are acting. Twice I've had customers who are so irate (for no apparent reason) and after several emails back and forth with them slamming me from one end to the other I have said, "...that we seem to be at an impass, and although I hate to loose your business I will ask you to please shop elsewhere", then I go in and suspend their customer account so they can no longer buy anything. For some reason "some" people act like if they don't buy my stuff that somehow I will not have groceries for the week. Not so sweetie! Anyway, After several years I have decided that some people are not worth the bother so I ask them to shop elsewhere. One lady even told me if I didn't give her her entire order for free (over $100) she would slam my business name all over the Internet. Whatever! Several weeks later I found out this is her MO she does it to everyone in my business as a way to get free stuff. Go figure.

I love Kenny's idea! Actually Kenny, you always have such great advice--maybe we just think the same.

I know my sister in law ran her own business for years and dealt with the same thing as far as irate customers. She finally could not be nice anymore so she closed her business. Sometimes you just have to know when you've had enough and hopefully you move on to better things.

Anyway, just remember you are the one who is in charge and don't let them make you feel bad. It's not personal---usually what they want is impossible so they get all mad about it and take it out on you. When the slamming starts just take a deep breath and remain calm....calm is always good. Sometimes it helps to listen very carefully and find out exactly what they are trying to say or what exactly they want even though they sometimes don't make that very clear. Sometimes I will say, "I apologize, I must not have understood your question correctly" or "Please forgive me, but I am not sure I understood what you needed". "What I hear you saying is....is this not correct." Yadda, yadda.

 

[Enerchi]

I'm a municipal employee accountable to the City and to my licensing college. I can not say BOO if it would upset a citizen or risk my license. However.... there is NO room in my world for having a client "rip me a new one". uh uh - no way. I do not deserve it and I'm not paid enough to take that crap!

I think I probably do the same as has been mentioned here a few times - I will listen to you rant (ONCE!), I will try and diffuse you with calm words (ONCE!) and if the circle starts again, then I will remind you I am only the service provider and I don't have any power over what ever it is that has sent you into orbit but happy to do for you what I can which is A,B,C... After that (and there have been times when I have been threatened physically in a home and on the phone while in the safety of my work cubicle) I thank them for their time and I'm either out the door or hang up. THEN---- I discuss the whole thing with my supervisor and document in their chart.

I do understand the public's general frustration with either the lack of service they would like vs what can be offered, or wait times, or feeling slighted because someone else got priority, but I don't understand how them blowing a gasket at ME, will solve that!

Nope, we are not paid enough for some of the crap we have to take on our jobs

 

[rainwood]

Working with the public can be really, really difficult because there are a lot of different personalities out there and some of them are not so good. Working with the public in a medical situation is probably even harder because most people are coming in under stress in the first place. Almost no one likes to go to the doctor.

That said, it sounds like the schedule the doctor has where she has to leave suddenly and for hours at a time wreaks havoc on the schedule and would be really frustrating for her patients. The patients have lives and schedules and problems of their own and when they get messed up, it can be hard for them too. It sounds like the doctor needs to understand how her other commitments affect her practice and whether there is a way to minimize that. You'll never make some people behave better, but having a schedule that is disrespectful of patients' lives and their schedules is virtually guaranteed to increase the number of unhappy patients. You end up getting the brunt of that unhappiness and that's not fair.

 

[packrat]

I'll do that, Maple, thank you!

Vapid, First Hurdle, I love that!

MyDiamond, yes I try to remember that too, that at the end of the day, I've done what I can and am as nicey nice as I can be.

I admit, I've had times where I'm thinking, yeah yeah, I see the eye rolling and the staring and the looks at the watch, so when the nurse comes to check the folder for who is next, while they're writing info down, and I know it's that person, I slip out to the waiting room and sit next to whichever crabby pants and lean in all conspiratorial like and whisper, "Ok, so, I know you've been sitting out here for a bit and it's frustrating, so I spoke w/a nurse and we moved some patients around to get a room open for you-she'll be right out to get you OK?" And then when the nurse takes them back I smile to the patient and tell the nurse "Thanks so much for doing that" Of course then later the nurse comes up and is like What was that all about-it was their turn anyway! And I'm like Uh hello was the patient not profusely happy to think we pushed them ahead? Little deceptive but it works sometimes.

Enerchi, that would be tough! Sometimes I think some people take advantage of that "customer is always right" mentality.

Rainwood, oh definitely, if we can make it easier for the patients, cut down on wait times etc, we do the best we can. A lot of it is hospital policy and nothing we have control over. Like the ER coverage policy. All the Dr.'s are required to share coverage of the ER during the week-and there's only 4 Dr.'s. If we clear her schedule on her ER days, if no one comes in to be seen in ER, she's not getting any revenue thru her office and she won't get any thru the ER either. That's slim pickins pay wise. It has changed now, after patients and Dr.'s complaining, so that they hired someone to cover the ER during the week, and now they don't require the Dr.'s to care for their own patients in ER even when they're NOT on call-that REALLY was a stupid policy. That's helped tremendously.

We're a small town/community also-there are no specifically Pediatricians or OB's..I think about an hour away they have specialty practices like that, but around here, we're Family/General practitioners and have to do it all. And, my Dr. is the only female Dr. in the area..we do most of the OB's around here actually. I think we do more in our office of one Dr. than the other office that has three. We're actually busier in our office in general, of one Dr. and two ARNP's than across the hall with 3 Dr's and two ARNP's. Patients love her-she has an amazing bedside manner that is very comforting and calming.

It's US the patients don't like hahahaha! They'll freak out on us, and if Dr. meets them in the hall on the way back and apologizes for running late etc, I'm telling you, it's "Oh my gosh Dr! It's NO problem at ALL I totally understand things happen. You're so busy b/c we all LOVE you, everyone wants to have you as their doctor" You just can't be mad at her.

 

[iugurl]

I work in a locked mental health unit. I deal with angry people all of the time. Most of the time the patients are 100% irrationally angry. I don't even give it a second thought when people say something mean/hurtful/whatever. I don't care. That helps a lot. I can remain calm because I don't give a crap what they say.

Honestly, with your patient I would have not said a word, even if there was a 30 second silent pause until, he/she asked (however rudely) for me to answer her question. That way I would know it was "my turn" to speak. I'm sure it wouldn't have stopped her rudeness, but maybe it would stop her from telling me to shut up...

 

[JulieN]

Patients are just rude. They're often old, crabby, and sick. Don't take it personally.

My bf's mom is a PA, and she had a patient file a complaint against her. It was nothing, really, didn't have a leg to stand on. But she lost her annual bonus, which is like equal to her salary.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I am a health care professional working in a large community hospital--in an incredibly busy, high stress, outpatient environment.
Over the decades I have learned not to take untoward interactions personally--I always frame it: whatever they are experiencing in their illness is worse that the work I have to do.

That said, we have a no tolerance for abuse policy--but folks stressed about family/themselves/illness do not always understand they are behaving "unreasonably" or the "way we'd want or like". Not always rational. 9/10 people are awesome dealing with huge illness responsibilities--but it is the 1/10 that gives us pause.

Any time I have the opportunity to take classes that have to do with dealing with the public--I do. Any time I have the opportunity to take a stress management course, I do. I bring what I have learned back to the workplace and share. Can you do the same?

If you are unhappy in your workplace and feel you are not supported and valued as an employee, I do encourage you to move on. No job is worth untold amounts of stress.

cheers--Sharon

 

[packrat]

iugurl-I worked for a psychiatrist before I started working here and even tho some of those patients were "out there", even they were nicer-and the ones that weren't, I knew why they weren't. The guy who was the Bullshit! shouter, my front desk coworker told me after they left that his wife was just diagnosed w/lung cancer that has apparently spread-I'm thinking dude why didn't you TELL me that when I came back in all ticked off?? It makes the hollering easier to understand b/c I get where it's coming from.

The shut up girl..she's just like that. About everything. She and her boyfriend literally will sit out there and watch their watches, and when it hits the exact time of their appointment, if the nurse doesn't open the door and call them that moment, they're out of their chairs and up to the window to bitch. They both have a massive sense of entitlement and over inflated sense of themselves.

Maybe next time someone is rude on the phone I'll very politely say I'm going to put them on hold while they go find their manners. ha!

Julie, that's too bad about his mom.

Canuk, yanno I think I could handle it better if I worked say..on a cancer ward or a burn unit or somewhere where you expect emotions and stress. If the general public is *that* horribly stressed on a day to day basis that they all take it out on the rest of the general public, we're all doomed. I know everyone has crap going on-heck my own husband was snappy and growly and rude to me on the phone one day while I was at work b/c his mom was over in the emergency room. Talk about trying not to take *that* personally!

I don't know if there are classes around for dealing w/the public/stress management etc..we get notices on ones that we would have to travel for and pay for and the office won't do that. I've worked w/the public about 18 or so years and this is the only place I've been treated so shabbily.

Maybe there's just something about my face that brings out people's inner rage!

 

[Lotus99]

I once worked as a supervisor for a mail order company. Yes, I was the one who got all those angry "Let me speak to your manager" calls. Basically, my job was to take complaints for eight hours a day. I'd usually just let the people vent until they were done (sometimes I'd put the receiver on my desk while they vented). I wouldn't tolerate swearing and would tell them to call back later if they got abusive. After a while, it stopped affecting me, for the most part. I would, however, jump slightly when the phone at home rang.


The best piece of advice I ever got (from a customer service course) was that if you're going to hang up on someone, hang up while you're talking. That way, you can blame it on the phone company/technology/whatever.

 

[canuk-gal]

Canuk, yanno I think I could handle it better if I worked say..on a cancer ward or a burn unit or somewhere where you expect emotions and stress. If the general public is *that* horribly stressed on a day to day basis that they all take it out on the rest of the general public, we're all doomed. I know everyone has crap going on-heck my own husband was snappy and growly and rude to me on the phone one day while I was at work b/c his mom was over in the emergency room. Talk about trying not to take *that* personally!

I don't know if there are classes around for dealing w/the public/stress management etc..we get notices on ones that we would have to travel for and pay for and the office won't do that. I've worked w/the public about 18 or so years and this is the only place I've been treated so shabbily.

Maybe there's just something about my face that brings out people's inner rage![/quote]


PR:

You came here to vent: I get that. Working with the public, in health care is stressful. Full stop.

Oddly enough, since you mention it, I worked in both the burn unit and..well...oncology....for 2 decades. And in public health and teaching. Certainly outpatient care (offices, public health, programs at hospitals, volunteers, schools, etc, etc...) has it own level of challenges.

What do you do for relaxation and fun? Exercise, yoga, book clubs, etc.,--other stuff besides work helps to alleviate work stressors.

If your "work" environment won't pay for a program--would you think of doing some educational or self develpment on your own time--just for YOU? I would hope there are community programs that might interest you.

cheers--Sharon

 

[Haven]

I was thinking about your situation while I was at the gym tonight, Packrat. (These guys kept on saying "Dude, just lift! Come on, start lifting!" So your gym thread popped into my head.) Anyway . . .

I do think waiting rooms bring out the worst in people, especially doctors' waiting rooms. I think people *expect* to be irritated in the waiting room even before they arrive, just because doctors have a reputation for being disrespectful of their patients' time. (Which, in my experience, many are!) Regardless, I was thinking about how frustrating and trying your job must be on a regular basis. I'm actually not sure how well I'd deal with a regular stream of agitated people getting up in my face, even in small, persnickity ways.

So, first: I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. It totally sucks, and I'm not sure we can really grasp the extent of the stress you go through unless we've been in a similar job.

Second, I thought of a fun coping mechanism: I would totally make illustrated children's books with monsters as the main characters, and I'd totally base the monsters off of the nastiest patients. Seriously, that's what I'd do. When I was home, and watching tv or doing some other idle thing, I would make little doodles in a drawing pad, put a story together, and then share it with the kiddos in my family. Horrible things would happen to the monsters, like they would lose all their lollipops to the nice little girl who has good manners.

 

[packrat]

Funny how two days away from it, it's not near the issue it was. I don't vent about stuff in public, I do to my husband and then go about my day, but Wednesday was just completely the last straw and I had to get it out, and then it just came pouring out, so I thank you all for listening and understanding.

Canuk, I read and do housework/yardwork, look at jewelry online and read to the kids for fun/relaxation. I did start doing yoga a few months ago but had to stop b/c I realized it was making my abdominal diastasis worse and hurting--sucks too b/c it was soooo wonderful.

Mostly it's when I'm *in* the situation that is hard..by the next day, or even by a few hours later at work, I'm fine. My front desk coworker and I spent the rest of the day telling each other to shut up and making the little kid snotty faces at each other like that patient does, and then busting out laughing.

Haven, that's such a good idea! My front desk partner in crime and I could really go to town on those hahahaha!

 

[rubybeth]

Ohh, I feel for you, packrat, I really do, I worked directly with the public for years at a public library, definitely some characters there. I now handle the problems that get passed along to a 'supervisor,' since I'm in an administrative role and can authorize payment plans/stops on credit reporting/etc. (yes, libraries can and do credit report people for fines/lost items!). I handle all of this over the phone, and I find I have to focus on what people are *really* saying since there's no body language, but I try to jot notes while they vent so I can review with them after they are done. I don't think about it much, but I guess my customer services skills are pretty well-honed after years of this type of work. A few thoughts:

1) sometimes people just choose to be angry about everything, and there's nothing you can do to stop them. Remind yourself not to take it personally, think of reasons they might be angry aside from what situation you're in--maybe their cat just died or they found out their house is being foreclosed on, etc. This helps me to have more sympathy for folks when they are just behaving badly as long as they aren't threatening me.

2) if the customer is making it personal, like this is YOUR fault, and YOUR problem, that's another thing. One idea is to gain their support in whatever it is they're asking. Like saying, "To help you save time..." or "To help me process this quickly..." or "To get this over with sooner..." and make them an ally in a task that ultimately benefits them.

3) on the phone, you can certainly warn people that you WILL hang up if they keep yelling. Try saying, "I want to help you, however, if you keep shouting I will hang up." And then do so.

My professional orgs. offers a lot of training in 'dealing with difficult customers' type things, and many of these are webinars. Have you ever done a webinar before? They're a lot cheaper than regular training sessions, and you can do them from home in your pajamas. I would guess you could find something geared specifically to medical reception that might at least help you feel you aren't alone (typically you can chat with the other folks attending the webinar if it's concurrent--not archived).

 

[sparklyheart]

I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this.. I feel it's a little irresponsible of your doctor to not even care!!
It's not unusual for patients to treat the front office staff like crap and then be nice to the doctor... In the hospital, they treat the nurses like crap and treat the NPs and MDs nicely.

When I have patients who are yelling, kicking, and throwing things, I look them straight in the eye and in the sternest,normal level voice I have, I say "We do not yell/kick/throw things here and if you are going to do that, I am going to leave until you can behave" (or you could say they need to leave/sit down until they can behave/be nice.. or that you will be happy to help them check in when they can talk to you like you are a normal human being)

Of course I work with kids.. but believe it or not, it works with their parents as well when they start yelling and making a big scene. Calling people out on their unacceptable behavior can backfire but it also can have a way of showing them how ridiculous they are being in front of everyone and most importantly it shows that you are NOT ok with them treating you like that.

Good luck!! And if all else fails, use their mean spirits to motivate you in a job search.

 

[HollyS]

I have a hard time remaining neutral when attacked, whined upon, bitched at, snarked at, or (as has happened) cussed out. Just try to remember that the frustration JohnQ Public feels is why they pounce; it's not (usually) personal.

You'd think I would have found some sort of non-retail line of work, wouldn't you? And vehicle purchasers or those needing repairs can be the worst offenders of such antics. I kind of understand that they are buying/repairing an expensive item, and want the best for the least amount . . . but . . . still . . . the hissy fits I've seen . . .

Maybe that's why I'm NEVER (and I mean NEVER) ugly as a customer, even if someone might be trying to screw me over. I will insist on getting to the bottom of something, but I'll remain perfectly polite. I have been called everything but a white woman in my workplaces, and it can be tough to keep from retaliating. But you must always keep the upper hand by taking the higher road - - if that isn't too many cliches for one sentence.

 

[ame]

OMG, I just got stressed out reading this thread. I really think that you should considering looking elsehwere, I mean, unless your "owner" can really change her stance and handle this better. I HATE passive management, and anyone that just takes the "roll off your back" attitude is someone that should never be in management because that is the wrong way to handle issues like that. A staff is not a punching bag. I also think it's crap how many people behave like lunatics now and go completely un-called-out.

 

[Haven]

You have a partner in crime at work? That's perfect!

The only way I survived my crappy answering phones job was because my partner in crime was there with me. We were very naughty, but the nature of the job required it if we were to maintain our sanity. We had this horrible boss who spied on our inter-office IMs (we were strongly encouraged to use them instead of getting up because it saved company time.) Once we realized she was spying, we sent messages to each other that made her paranoid about a ton of different things. We'd also wear suits to work every now and then and go to different wings of the building and pretend one of us was interviewing another for a job. We'd ask random employees to tell the interviewee how much they loved working there. My favorite was the high five awards--we'd photocopy one of our hands, write "High Five Award" on top, and give it to random people we didn't know in other wings of the building. We'd see them up on their cubes weeks later.

It was one of those Office Space-esque workplaces, where everyone was fake, nobody did much work at all, and I basically would have become a very unhappy person had I spent many years there. So, I had to get creative.

If I were you I'd start collecting ridiculous quotes from angry people and publish a book of them. Someone published a book of the most creative wrong answers on exams, so I don't think this is that far off.