How serious is this baby issue?

[Jennifer W]

Hi Kenny, sorry to read all this, and to see that you're worried for the little one. I haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if everyone else already told you this.

My baby lost more weight than that in the first few days, it does happen sometimes. One of the reasons can be if the mother had a lot of IV fluid during labour, because it can make for a heavier baby at birth, but it's not actual flesh and bone weight, just fluid. So, it's lost quickly after birth. My daughter was nearly 9lbs when she was born, and was around 6lbs two days later - the consultant felt that should have been her birthweight, so wasn't too worried by that in itself, although she did have some other problems.

If the Dr caring for this baby was worried, he or she would be looking for an electrolyte imbalance through a blood test -that's the way to tell if the weight loss is causing a problem or not. Babies are born with some reserves, so they'll be fine for these first few days it can take for milk to be available after colostrum and by default will often lose a fair bit of weight. I know they're formula feeding, but that's still the biological programme. I'm sure this little one will be ok, and the parents are dealing with it along with their medical care providers. It's worrying, of course it is, but I don't think from what you've described that it will have done harm.

Congrats on the new addition to your family, I hope you can update with some good news asap.

 

[Rhea]

My sister lost a fair amount as a newborn who was formula fed. It turned out she had some type of ear infection, I don't know all the details, and had to had tubes put in her eyes in hospital at a very young age. It could be something else beside simple underfeeding.

I just realised that I didn't explain this very well. My sister couldn't or wouldn't suck because of her ear infection. My mother struggled to breastfeed her and when she wouldn't, simply switched to formula - she only had 4-6 weeks maternity leave so not worth the struggle of learning to breastfeed just to ween a couple weeks later. My mother thought problem solved only to later learn that my sister wasn't eating no matter what the source. Chasing around a 3 year old (me!) and having a newborn and dealing with all the wonders that is US maternity leave she didn't notice my sister losing weight. Sister's ears didn't drain well, lots of blockage and fluid, so my sister wouldn't suck to feed. I don't know all the details, but they thought mom was feeding sister wrong even though she'd done well with me. The end result was lots of hospitals and surgeries to get tubes put in my sister's ears.

I hope your family gets it figured out! It sounds very scary and worth the Dr. investigating.

 

[mrs taylor]

Thanks Mara for the book recommendation.

Now that I think of it, I have to make sure they can read.
No joke.
My SO's father cannot read, even in Spanish.

Uh Oh, I'm sure some pious soul is going to accuse me of being judgmental again.
Whatever.

Just FYI I was never accusing you. You merely provided information. I didn't think you were being judgmental at all. My comment was directed elsewhere.

I'm really glad you're such a good friend to your family members. They are very lucky to have you. And as you know, losing that weight by 4 days is not at all the same as losing it by 2 weeks. It sounds like they are on the right track. But if baby does continue screaming even with adequate nutrition, then it is time to look at the food that's being used-but that's where you should encourage them to speak to their doctors. Sometimes people don't know that screaming all the time isn't normal-especially if they know all needs are being met. And doctors can be quick to brush it off if baby is meeting milestones. But if the peanut is really uncomfortable they'll probably need to push for answers-that's where you can really help. In supporting them to do so. But that's putting the cart before the horse-hopefully it never comes to that.

 

[zoebartlett]

Kenny, I have to admit that so far, I've just read the first page of this thread. I hope your relatives get the help they need. Congratulations to them, by the way! I'll keep reading but I did want to chime in and say that.

ETA: Just caught up. Kenny, they're beautiful children! Again, my best wishes to your family, and I really do hope they get the support and answers they need. I agree with Mara's post, too.



JulieN, I normally stay out of controversial threads (I read but I usually choose not to post). I can't even begin to tell you how livid I am right now though. I've read some of your other "advice" in other (non-jewelry related) threads years ago, and I've always been completely appalled by your lack of empathy for others.

 

[Skippy123]

I just got clarification/correction to what I was previously told.
The birthweight was 7 lb 3 oz.
The loss of 11 oz was at day 4 not at the two week point.
I do not know what the baby weighs today; they don't have a scale and don't go to the doctor every day.
(Don't shoot the messenger - I just made my SO call them back to get more info)

They have the baby on a formula with no dairy since lactose intolerance runs in the family.

The baby did not refuse to eat.

I think it is normal to lose weight soon after birth, Like Kimberly said. That is horrible about the wrong info from the hospital though!!!! I think my boys lost about 8 oz each after a few days but then gained it back. It was amazing what 8 ozs looked like on 3 lb babies. I think if she is gaining weight and looks healthy then no worries. I might be inclined to say, hey, I want to send a Christmas gift and send some formula along with some other baby related goods so it doesn't look like you are giving them assistance, it looks like a baby gift and lots of people do that!

 

[sapphirering]

Like several posters have stated, losing up to 10% of the birth weight is considered within normal range for full-term babies. Most docs will want the baby to return to birth weight by 2 weeks at the latest. Both of my boys lost almost a full pound in the first week. I've been told by more than 1 lactation consultant that this will not cause long-term damage. Babies fatten themselves up in the last 2-3 weeks of gestational period so that they can have some reserve with them when they meet the new world.

Also, there are some medical journals stating that most moms who had IV fluids during labor (which is very common for moms giving birth in US hospitals, particularly if they are on epidural) will affect the baby's birth weight. The IV fluids cross the placenta and get absorbed by the baby. After birth, the baby passes that extra water and thus make the weight loss a bit more extreme.

 

[kenny]

Thanks all for the helpful information and the good wishes.

I'm sorry I started the thread with what later turned out to be the inaccurate info, 4 days as opposed to 2 weeks.
I was just kind of freaking out since have zero baby experience and I know there are lots of moms here.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Like others mentioned all babies lose weight. The goal is to reach birth weight by 2 weeks. Anyways, I am more concerned you posted a photo of *their* children. I hope you got their permission otherwise I would consider deleting it. Especially seeing how you are citing neglect.

 

[Cehrabehra]

You feed a newborn until it stops wanting food. If you make them some food and its not enough, you feed the more. If they start turning their head they've had enough and don't force them to eat all of it. It's really simple. The baby will know when its had enough WAY more than any line on a bottle OR any book, or even any doctor. *IF* the baby starts having a weight problem later on you can address, that but more likely it will have a weight issue if it's always hungry OR forced to overfeed. Just give it what it wants while it's a newborn! They won't eat too much.

 

[sapphirering]

Like others mentioned all babies lose weight. The goal is to reach birth weight by 2 weeks. Anyways, I am more concerned you posted a photo of *their* children. I hope you got their permission otherwise I would consider deleting it. Especially seeing how you are citing neglect.

ditto. I don't think it's appropriate to post photos of other people's children online.

 

[kenny]

They have given me permission.

 

[Maisie]

I'm sorry you were offended by my comment kenny. It wasn't meant to be unkind. I'm sure you do help them a lot.

 

[kenny]

Thanks Maisie. No problem.
I realize kids have a right to good care and the whole subject pushes buttons.
That's actually a good thing.

I think even though I never had kids the reason hearing about the weight loss got me upset is because I didn't not get good care as a kid.
When I was in therapy it was hard work to come to the realization that my parents did not do a good job.
Kids don't know that; then kids grow up not knowing that.

I see babies as new computers totally unprogramed.
Childhood IS programming, hopefully good healthy programming mentally and physical, and it is so important.
Bad things happening to a helpless baby is probably a universally upsetting thing.

 

[mrs taylor]

You feed a newborn until it stops wanting food. If you make them some food and its not enough, you feed the more. If they start turning their head they've had enough and don't force them to eat all of it. It's really simple. The baby will know when its had enough WAY more than any line on a bottle OR any book, or even any doctor. *IF* the baby starts having a weight problem later on you can address, that but more likely it will have a weight issue if it's always hungry OR forced to overfeed. Just give it what it wants while it's a newborn! They won't eat too much.

meh. agree to disagree. the mechanism by which a baby feeds from a bottle vs a breast is different REGARDLESS what is in said bottle. It's not a formula vs. breastmilk issue, it's a bottle vs a breast issue. And before anyone gets all fired up, I did feed my eldest with a bottle.

Babies feed more quickly at the bottle, and the stream is faster therefore they *can* overeat. Same as an adult that sucks down a huge meal in ten minutes vs. another that eats less quantity over the course of 40 minutes. One ends up with a bellyache and too many calories, while the other is more appropriately sated.

Add that to their need to suckle and you can have an issue. Sometimes it really is that the baby just needs a pacifier or something AFTER being fed but the cues look identical. So too can reflux where the action of sucking helps soothe the throat-there doesn't necessarily need to be "food" involved. Babies with reflux seem to want to feed all the time, but that's generally not the case. What they do want to do is suck.

I don't think it's always wise to just feed them until they quiet down, but that's just me and not on point with this thread. Point is, not everyone has the same opinion and it's not just that simple.

 

[asscherisme]

Kenny, it could be something as simple as she was trying to breastfeed and wasn't producing enough milk. This happens often.

I was 20 when I had my 3.4kg baby, but i probably looked like I was 15. When my sister and I went for one of the scheduled checkups at the child health nurse my daughter had lost about 100grams, the old bat turned around and said "don't you know you have to feed your baby??" I was shocked, my sister was shocked and we left I was close to tears. She did nothing to find out why she was losing weight or how often I was feeding her, she just assumed because I was young I didn't know that I had to feed it!

When my mum found out she went down there and tore this woman a new one and she was made to appologise. We took my daughter to the dr and he thought it was a milk production thing. I started supplementing with a formula bottle after I had breast fed and she started stacking on the weight. It was something so simple that could have been solved with the first person if she hadn't been so judgemental.

Please don't judge your family because they are poor and not breast feeding. Being poor does not automatically make you a bad mother. Not breastfeeding doesnt make you a bad mother. Some people can't breastfeed and its not their fault. Being a new mother brings along so many new challenges and makes even the strongest of women with the support and access to services break down with worry because they are unsure they are doing it right.

Be there to support them and help in any way that you can. Your SO loves kids, perhaps he would love to help out a young mum and make sure that she has access to the right information that she needs?

I'm gonig to add don't judge any mother for choosing not to breast feed. You don't know their situation. Its a HUGE pet peave of mine that women are often judged for not breastfeeding.

I did try to breast feed my oldest. He ended up losing weight and becoming jaundiced because my body was not producing enough milk. To top it off I got a raging case of mastitis (infection) and was hospitalized for I.V. antibiotics.

Its scared me so much that with my other babies, I went straight to bottle at both my doctor's, my pediatrician, and my ex husband's advice. No regrets in feeding them bottle. Breast feeding was something I had always wanted to do and regret not being successful at but it was such a bad and scary experience because of what happened, it was just not for me.

However, it would make my blood boil when I would have STRANGERS in public tell me I was doing my baby a disservice and was a bad mother because I was bottle feeding my baby and would lecture me about the benefits of breast milk.

I think its great when it works out and nutritionally its best, however I would never ever judge someone for not doing it.

Kenny, I think its great you are so caring and looking for info. Babies are incredibly resliant and I don't think that losing such a small amount of weight will hurt the baby at all in the long run as long as thebaby is getting proper nutrition now.

 

[Cehrabehra]

It's not just as simple as feeding them until they quiet - I know I presented it simply, but ultimately what you want to do is read your child's cues.

No BvB debate from me - I extended breastfed all 3 of my kids (even had two going at once for a while) but it wasn't without heroic measures on my part (long story lol) that involved ridiculous amounts of pumping and sns so I do get that not everyone can breastfeed and the fight isn't worth the fight at all - especially since my youngest is 10 and I'm just done with the topic lol

Ultimately though, ANY person, baby or adult, should follow their most natural instinct and we shouldn't mess with that because then they *do* develop eating disorders.

 

[Tuckins1]

Kenny, I'm so glad that you got clarification and that the baby is going to be on a special formula to address the possible lactose intolerance. It's sweet of you to be concerned and to help; how ever much you are able to makes a huge difference, trust me.

 

[iLander]

However, it would make my blood boil when I would have STRANGERS in public tell me I was doing my baby a disservice and was a bad mother because I was bottle feeding my baby and would lecture me about the benefits of breast milk.

I know, right? I remember when mine were babies, people would lecture me because they didn't have hats on (it was 90+ degrees, and we were dashing from the car to the store), didn't have socks on (again, the 90+ degrees), were chewing teething rings (they might choke!), were not chewing teething rings ("all the drooling means he's teething, don't you have a ring?"), etc,, etc.

Now my youngest is a teenager, and no one can help me.

 

[charbie]

Glad the baby is hopefully on track. I think the serious issue is the misinformation from the hospital. I hope the doctor is able to make some headway there.

FWIW, my daughter lost about 7 oz by day 4. She began gaining weight at that point, and is strictly breastfed. She was born with a congenital heart defect, and struggles to gain weight now that she is in heart failure. She is quite tiny for a 3 month old, having gained maybe 2 lbs since birth (that's peanuts). She is now off the charts (on the low side) for weight and even still, her doctor has not introduced a feeding tube. She will be having open heart surgery next week to correct the heart defect.

I told you this bc a few days/weeks being underweight as a baby, even losing weight, is sometimes ok if being monitored and tthe root cause is known. My daughters weight is an issue, of course, but I'm not worried it will have long term consequences.

 

[kenny]

Thanks Charbie.
Hugs to you and best wishes for your dear daughter.