Adoption Thread

[ImperfectGirl]

Hi everyone!

Warning: lots of exclamation points ahead...

Things are so good! I am 29 today! DH bought me adventure for my birthday. He purchased a beluga whale experience for me at Sea World and a hang gliding session. I'm so excited! Also, I was offered a promotion at work last week! Totally unexpected and I'm so excited about the opportunity! And things are going very well with the match thus far. I talked to both birthmom and her mom yesterday after a dr. appt. Everything is moving along, baby is healthy, and everyone seems committed to the adoption plan. Birthmom will be 34 weeks on Sunday. We also firmed up plans for us to all meet next weekend. I'm actually looking forward to it. I'll come back after and let you all know how it goes.

Thank you for your continued support and thoughts. It's been hard not telling anyone about a large chunk of this difficult process but it's always so nice to know I can come here and lean on you all.

 

[hay joe]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Have fun on your adventures and may next weekend be one of you best.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

IG, Happy birthday and have a great ADVENTURE! I hope the bmom mtg goes well next week!!!

 

[lliang_chi]

IG, Happy birthday! I hope you have a great birthday adventure. And I'm glad things are going well with this match. Hoping your meeting next week goes well too. I'm glad you're getting excited about it, and I'm sure the birthmom and her mom will be thrilled that you two are such wonderful people. Big congrats and I'm so glad you have so many good news this week!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Thank you LC, Bella, and Hay Joe! And, Happy Thanksgiving you you all!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Happy Birthday, IG! Glad things are going so well! We'll be hoping and praying that things still go as planned with the adoption!!!

 

[dcgator]

IG - It sounds like you have a lot of great things happening in your life right now. I hope you had a great birthday, filled with incomparable memories and I also hope you had a great meeting with the birth mom. Congrats as well on the job promotion, woohoo! Please keep the updates coming

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Diamondseeker - Thank you! I'm hoping things go well too and that 3rd times the charm.

Dcgator - I appreciate your kind words and congratulations. We are actually meeting with birthmom and her mom on Saturday. I'm excited and it's her 15th birthday so we checked with our attorney and picked up a small gift for her. I'll come back and let you all know how the meeting goes.

 

[canuk-gal]

Diamondseeker - Thank you! I'm hoping things go well too and that 3rd times the charm.

Dcgator - I appreciate your kind words and congratulations. We are actually meeting with birthmom and her mom on Saturday. I'm excited and it's her 15th birthday so we checked with our attorney and picked up a small gift for her. I'll come back and let you all know how the meeting goes.

HI:

I look forward to hearing about your visit!!

cheers--Sharon

 

[hay joe]

IG
Have a good weekend.

 

[Puppmom]

IG, I hope your meeting goes well!

 

[AGBF]

Happy Birthday, IG. I thought I had already posted this! I hope your meeting with the prospective birthmother tomorrow is a good experience for you. Something feels right about it.

Hugs,
Deb

 

[lliang_chi]

IG, thinking of you tomorrow. Hope all goes well and you'll have lots of great news to share. How very sweet of you to give the birth mother a birthday present. Just shows how thoughtful you and your DH are.

~LC

 

[AGBF]

Just thinking of you, IG. I stopped by to see if there was any early breaking news. We had our Newfie down at the beach on Long Island Sound for the second day in a row (and the second day ever) today. Up until yesterday he had never been in salt water, which is his natural element. I can't say he showed any special predilection for it! He acted kind of strange, in fact, going to the parking lot when he could have socialized with other dogs at one point, for instance! Oh, well...maybe these things take time!

I am hoping for some news from you soon!

Hugs,
Deb

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Hi everyone!

Thanks so much for the well wishes for our meeting and thanks Deb for checking in on me!

Things went really well. We met birthmom (D), her mom (S) and mom's sister. D was very timid, shy, and quiet but I can completely understand given the scary situation she is in. She's a beautiful girl who lit up at receiving a birthday gift from us. S was very level headed and rational in talking about why they are choosing adoption for this baby. She reiterated several times about their desire to 'get back to normal' and 'put this behind them'. S says she really hopes that the baby will come over Christmas break so D doesn't have to miss school, but of course, these things can't be predicted. D is 35 weeks today and moving into weekly appointments with her Dr. We had a nice meal, chatted for a few hours and went our separate ways saying we'd see each other in a few weeks.

I had a small breakdown at the hotel last night. Things went well and so I could feel my excitement grow and I desperately want to refrain from being excited. I guess getting excited is inevitable so I'm just hoping for the best!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

IG-I am so glad that it went well. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for D and S, especially D! I am sure that you were your usual awesome, gracious self. I hope that this little girl is here soon, that everything goes as smoothly as possible for everyone involved and that it is truly a blessing that this tiny little girl is so loved by so many people!!!

I know it must be hard to try and protect your heart and temper your excitement! Just a few more weeks...I'm sending lots of positive thoughts your way!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

You show remarkable strength IG, and I want to thank you for including us in your journey. Positive vibes across the miles!

cheers--Sharon

 

[PetitiePoire]

I'm praying for you IG. I really hope this is your baby, you definitely deserve a happy ending and a tiny little miracle in your arms! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

 

[Puppmom]

IG, I'm so glad the meeting was a positive experience. Gosh, it must be so hard to stay level-headed through all of this. I hope that you're free to let your excitement take over in just a few weeks! I'm sending lots of dust your way!

 

[lliang_chi]

IG, so glad to hear everything went so well on Saturday. I'm really thinking of you guys this month and really hope that this is it for you. I totally understand how you're trying to be cautious and not get excited, it must be so hard for you. Be easy on yourself and allow yourself to enjoy this time anyway. Your friends here on PS are thinking about you. Lots of love for you and your DH this holiday season!

~LC

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Bella - Thanks for the positive thoughts! We sure could use them. We are just so hopeful. And yes, this little baby is very much loved by a lot of people.

Sharon - Thank you for the support! Being able to come here and share/vent/complain/worry has been so wonderful. Since we are keeping this a secret from our family and friends IRL, it helps to have an outlet to share.

PetitePoire - Thank you so much for the well wishes. I'm so hoping to come back in a few weeks with a photo of me and my daughter!

Puppmom - You've been so supportive throughout this process...thank you! I can't imagine how difficult it is to be level-headed and I truly admire how S (and D) are handling everything.

LC- We are hoping that this is it too! I appreciate your continued support. You've been so kind. Thank you!

**************************
S called me yesterday just to check that we'd made it home safely since the weather was so bad while we were driving. She said that she slept better the previous night being able to put a personality with our photos and knowing that the baby would be raised by such a great couple. She also apologized for D being so quiet during our meeting but relayed how much D liked us and thought we were a nice couple. I assured her that apologies weren't necessary and that we were thankful that they selected us.

I'm happy and excited today and I'm letting myself enjoy the feeling for a change.

 

[iheartscience]

Awesome update IG! I hope things continue to go well and this little baby is yours!

 

[zoebartlett]

I'm really glad your meeting went well, IG, and I'm wishing the best for you in the coming weeks!

 

[JGator]

IG, I am so happy for you and your DH. I will be counting down the days along with you. Hugs and prayers are going your way.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

IG, all 20 digits crossed for you! You're going to be a fantastic mom!

And to all who are touched by adoption, a belated Happy Adoption Month to you all!

 

[AGBF]

Hi, IG-

I am really happy that your meeting with D went the way it did. It really sounds as if she is going to relinquish the baby and also as if you are the only couple she is considering. Naturally funny things can happen. She and her mother could fall in love with that baby when they see her born. Far stranger things have happened! It is wise to guard against being optimistic again, and yet it seems different this time. D seems grounded. She has a relationship with her mother. They have an understanding about where they both want D to go with her life. This is a different situation from the others where the birthmother was older and able to make different choices.

So like everyone else, I will be hoping and praying that you can remain serene until the future shows itself!

Love and hugs,
Deb

 

[AGBF]

PS-It is funny (amusing) although not coincidental (since my being an adoptive mother is what draws me to the threads on adoption on Pricescope), that my daughter called while I was typing my response to IG above. She wanted (among other things) to complain about her birthmother to me. She felt her birthmother had been very rude in her last e-mail to Whitney (my daughter), chastizing her as she did once before when Whitney asked too many questions about her birthfather! Her birthmother had told Whitney that she should'nt be so interested in her birthfather and his family, since he had had no interest in her, and should be more interested in her adoptive parents! Whitney was incensed.

I had to help her to recognize that her birthfather had treated her birthmother like dirt and that it was natural for her birthmother to be jealous when she saw Whitney fascinated by the man. I explained that her birthmother had endured pregnacy and childbirth and since Whitney had reached out to her that her birthmother had responded with warmth to Whitney, wanting her in her life and sending gifts and letters to her and to me.

Whitney said that her birthmother, like her birthfather, had thrown her out!

But sanity prevailed in the end as I again went over all the things her birthmother had done for her. It is hard for a 19 year-old girl to see things from the point of view of her birthparents, though!!! I hope you don't mind this detour from stories about impending adoptions. It is a story about an adoption!

Deb/AGBF

 

[isaku5]

PS-It is funny (amusing) although not coincidental (since my being an adoptive mother is what draws me to the threads on adoption on Pricescope), that my daughter called while I was typing my response to IG above. She wanted (among other things) to complain about her birthmother to me. She felt her birthmother had been very rude in her last e-mail to Whitney (my daughter), chastizing her as she did once before when Whitney asked too many questions about her birthfather! Her birthmother had told Whitney that she should'nt be so interested in her birthfather and his family, since he had had no interest in her, and should be more interested in her adoptive parents! Whitney was incensed.

I had to help her to recognize that her birthfather had treated her birthmother like dirt and that it was natural for her birthmother to be jealous when she saw Whitney fascinated by the man. I explained that her birthmother had endured pregnacy and childbirth and since Whitney had reached out to her that her birthmother had responded with warmth to Whitney, wanting her in her life and sending gifts and letters to her and to me.

Whitney said that her birthmother, like her birthfather, had thrown her out!

But sanity prevailed in the end as I again went over all the things her birthmother had done for her. It is hard for a 19 year-old girl to see things from the point of view of her birthparents, though!!! I hope you don't mind this detour from stories about impending adoptions. It is a story about an adoption!

Deb/AGBF

Aw, Deb, you've said and done all the right things for Whitney. She's at that age where she's 'fascinated' by her past. She's not able yet to understand how the whole story has worked its way along. She's looking to YOU for the truth and you are giving it to her bit by bit (which is all she's able to handle right now). For an adoptive child, she wants to know why she was given away and she seems to be fixated on that right now. That's must be very hard for her to comprehend and you to hear.

You're doing a wonderful 'job' of being there for her no matter how difficult it is. She needs PROOF that you love her more than her birth parents did and that's the tough part for you (or like anyone else in your situation). I'm certainly not a mental health care expert, but it sounds to me liket you've done everything right. Keep doing what you're doing and hopefully she'll come to the conclusion that you care for her much more than her birth parents did and you will never abandon her.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Thank you for the encouragement Deb. And I'm so sorry that Whitney's b-mom is reacting that way when asked about the b-dad. Although I understand why she might have that reaction, she shouldn't attempt to cloud Whitney's feelings about him based on her own feelings about the man. Not fair. I know you're doing a great job in helping Whitney through all of those feelings.

***********************************
I wanted to share that I became an aunt yesterday! My first nephew was born last night. My brother and his wife are both excited and so is the rest of the family. I experienced a moment or two of envy, but I am happy for them. I know my time and my baby will come. They live on the other side of the country and I'm not sure when I'll get to see him in person so Skype will have to suffice for now. I've attached a pic...he looks like a very big boy but he was 7lbs 10oz.

 

[lliang_chi]

Congratulations IG!!! What good news! I hope all the happy news continues for you this holiday season.

~LC