Houseguests with pets

[iugurl]

When (or if) you have house guests than have animals, do you "allow" them to bring their pets? If you are allergic to pets, then I am sure your answer will be different, for good reason. Does it matter if the pet is a dog or cat? Do you take in consideration the size and behavior of the animal?

 

[MonkeyPie]

They need to ask me, not just assume they can bring an animal into my house, but I would prefer if they didn't. I not only have a toddler, but I have a cat that would likely get all stressed out about strange animals being in my house. Not to mention animals typically don't behave as well in a strange place as they do at home where they are comfortable, and if I can't startle a cat off my counters or clap my hands at a dog in my trash, then I don't want them there!

 

[iugurl]

My SIL has a horrendously behaved dog. She is not potty trained, or at least not trained well. She poops and pees anywhere she pleases. For some reason, SIL thinks it is funny and cute. The dog even does this at their house and they don't seem to mind. The dog is really small, but is quite annoying. She will jump up on you/couch until you pick her up. I have new, expensive leather couches and don't want the dog on my couch nor jumping/clawing at the bottom of the couch. We also have new wood floor. I really don't want her walking on my floors with her sharp claws, or worse - pooping/peeing on my new floor. I don't have a dog of my own (even though I want one) because of my flooring and furniture. Why should I deal with someone else's dog? However, they view their dog as a child and will be terribly offended and probably will refuse to come without the dog.

The dog is terribly spoiled and the last time they were here (at a different place, an apartment, not our brand new house) the dog peed twice on our carpet, nearly got us in trouble with the downstairs neighbor for barking so much while we were gone, and ate half of our food. Yes, the eating is SIL's fault. She has refused to feed the dog dog food. She insists on feeding her "real" food. So SIL was constantly in my fridge/pantry feeding the dog food that I had slaved over for hours AND some food that I bought already prepared that was quite pricey .

I realize the solution is quite simple, the word NO. However, DH wants to see his sister. DH is willing to put up with the dog in order to see her. SIL has been on us for inviting them over to see our new house.

 

[zoebartlett]

I haven't been in that situation, but I'd love it if house guest brought their pets when visiting. The only problem is that we have two cats, and we have no idea how they'd react to another animal in the house.

Given your situation though, I'd tell your SIL that you'd prefer it they boarded their dog during their visit. They could board the dog near your house and that way, they could see him (or her?) and take him for a walk or go to a dog park while they're visiting you. That could be a compromise. They'd be able to see the dog but you wouldn't have to worry about the hassle and possible damage done to your house.

 

[chemgirl]

I didn't read the other responses, but I will say absolutely not.

My step-MIL has never visited because of this. She won't go anywhere without her dog. I don't want to be mean, but I have 3 cats and this is their territory. They are very nice and social with people, but a visit from a hyper puppy would not end well. I'm really glad I have this excuse because to be honest, I still wouldn't want the dog in my house. I'm not allergic to this particular dog, but I still would rather not have its hair, slobber, and accidents in here.

I might have this attitude because I've always been a cat person and you would never really bring cats to visit somebody. It seems like people are more likely to bring their dogs to other people's houses.

 

[sparklyheart]

Seeing how me and some friends alternate pet-sitting, I wouldn't mind if certain pets came with guests.. It completely depends on how well behaved the animal is. I have 2 dogs and they do ok with different dogs in the house.. Cats may be a different story though!

As someone who has pets and is sometimes a guest, I *never* assume my dogs are welcome.. I also am not offended if the person I am staying with says no pets. I knew when I got my dogs that they would not be welcome everywhere. They are well behaved, potty trained, etc.. However, they wake up early, bark if they get scared (random person entering the room??), and run around and play like, well, dogs. Not everyone is an animal person so I respect the fact that not everyone wants animals in their house. Plus, my oldest one is very aware of his surroundings and in a new place he tends to sit by the door of the room...wide awake... all night.. That makes it hard for me to sleep!

 

[Jennifer W]

No thanks! I'm not fond of animals in the house, although I actually have a dog and cat of my own.
I guess I don't think of them as animals.
I wouldn't take them with me to visit someone, I either book them into boarding kennels or have someone stay in the house if I'm away.

 

[Gypsy]

Well I've had one friend bring her obnoxious brat Pomeranian over. I was VERY VERY unhappy, but I wasn't going to make the dog stay in the car all night. I was just pissed she didn't leave it at home, where it would have been fine and cared for (roommate). It chased my cats the minute it got into the house and they hid under the bed, it ate their food, drank their water and then hogged the couch. He's not aggressive just stubborn, bratty and playful. He listens but only after you yell. I yelled so loud I swear they heard me in Canada when he chased my cats. We didn't expect him to because he's been around cats before and been fine, but... he was feeling feisty. By the time he stopped (immediately after I yelled and I went STRAIGHT to yell, did not pass go), they were under the bed and NOTHING was getting them out. So I just moved their stuff into the room and shut the door so they would feel safe. But I was angry as hell and resentful that my friend would put me in a position where my cats would feel like strangers in their own house while another animal had free reign. NOT okay. I was going to confine the dog to the bathroom but DH just said to leave it be, that the cats were okay in the room with us and that it was only for one night. I was seething though.

So my answer is... it depends on the pet and the person. But probably NOT-- with two exceptions. My guest room has a resident cat. And she doesn't like other cats (otherwise she'd be integrated) and she's terrified of dogs. I'd be willing to put her into my bedroom or the office for a couple nights, but it would have to be a pretty extreme and short circumstance. And I would only do it for a cat with all their shots that was indoors only and flea treated FIV and FELV negative and housebroken (no spraying issues) and the cat would have to stay in the guest bedroom with the door closed.

The one other exception: I would allow a a VERY well behaved cat-friendly dog that is strictly obedience trained to stay over. My integrated cats are okay with dogs as we used to have two. In that case, I would bring Lucy in my room and lock my other's out, but they would have access to the rest of the house and the guest room. They are used to this as we do it every two nights anyway (Lucy sleeps with us every two nights and then gets the day with us afterward as well).

And the only person I can see trusting enough to KNOW that their dog would be okay with my cats is my best friend who is pretty much a dog-whisperer. So if it was one of hers, yes.

Otherwise, no I'm sorry. We're all full up. I'd be happy to help you find pet-friendly accommodations though. I know we have some nearby.

 

[Gypsy]

My SIL has a horrendously behaved dog. She is not potty trained, or at least not trained well. She poops and pees anywhere she pleases. For some reason, SIL thinks it is funny and cute. The dog even does this at their house and they don't seem to mind. The dog is really small, but is quite annoying. She will jump up on you/couch until you pick her up. I have new, expensive leather couches and don't want the dog on my couch nor jumping/clawing at the bottom of the couch. We also have new wood floor. I really don't want her walking on my floors with her sharp claws, or worse - pooping/peeing on my new floor. I don't have a dog of my own (even though I want one) because of my flooring and furniture. Why should I deal with someone else's dog? However, they view their dog as a child and will be terribly offended and probably will refuse to come without the dog.

The dog is terribly spoiled and the last time they were here (at a different place, an apartment, not our brand new house) the dog peed twice on our carpet, nearly got us in trouble with the downstairs neighbor for barking so much while we were gone, and ate half of our food. Yes, the eating is SIL's fault. She has refused to feed the dog dog food. She insists on feeding her "real" food. So SIL was constantly in my fridge/pantry feeding the dog food that I had slaved over for hours AND some food that I bought already prepared that was quite pricey .

I realize the solution is quite simple, the word NO. However, DH wants to see his sister. DH is willing to put up with the dog in order to see her. SIL has been on us for inviting them over to see our new house.

Your DH is entitled to his opinion but I don't see why it should over rule yours.

I wouldn't let it stay over. I don't care what my DH said in this case because his sister isn't being reasonable assuming her dog is welcome, this time after the fiasco of last time-- and he hasn't even tried to broach the subject, he's just assuming that they'll throw a hissy. Nope, not good enough.

"We'd love to have you visit! We have a great kennel nearby that you can board FLUFFY at, so that you can check on him, if you would like to stay with us. Otherwise we have THIS HOTEL nearby that is pet friendly and very reasonable. Of course if you opt to board FLUFFY in your home town or have a pet sitter over for the duration, then it's a moot point! Let me know if you need our local kennel contact information or the hotel's information! Can't wait to see you!"

Just don't present them with with an other option. You flip it around. Right now the scenario is... you want them to come you HAVE to take the dog. WHY? Because that's the expectation they've set. The assumption they've insinuated.

Just flip it around. You put the expectation out there that they will NOT have the dog at your house. You assume they will take care of it. And just leave it at that.

If they press the issue say that you obviously respect their choice to have a with their dog and know that they have no issues with potty training issues, but that you haven't made the same choice, and you thank them IN ADVANCE for understanding that your home is a dog free space from here on out.

That's all. It's call boundaries. Introduce your hubby to this one. You'll be happier for it

 

[JewelFreak]

If people who don't like animals come to my house, they're stuck putting up with my dogs & cats, just as I'd expect non-children-people to put up with my kids. This is the animals' home. On paper I'd be delighted if they brought (trained) dogs -- but one of my Siberians would eat a visitor dog for lunch, very territorial. Not hospitable!

I can't imagine why anyone would take a cat around with them -- cats are NOT happy outside their usual environment; place is more important than people to them & they really hate change. I think it's insensitive to inflict that discomfort on a cat, unless it's an unusual one who likes to travel, & they do exist. However, in a strange house a cat would be likely to find a place to hide & then what?

My grandparents, when I was a kid, would not visit us without their pug. We had a boxer who would've chewed her up, so OUR dog went to a kennel while the grandparents were with us. Kind of wacky but in that case there was little choice.

--- Laurie

 

[mrswahs]

My husband's brother stayed in our apartment last year and brought the dog without asking. I was furious because the apartment has a strict no pet policy and I didn't want us to get evicted because of his brother's short stay.

Now that we have a brand new house with beautiful hard wood floors, my husband doesn't even like the idea of us getting a pet because he's afraid of the destruction a new pet would bring to our new home, I'm sure the unannounced guest would NOT be allowed.

 

[missy]

I had this very situation happen this summer and it was difficult.

My parents have a brindle boxer (Tara) who was a rescue and my sister has a white boxer (Harley- another rescue) and they bring them pretty much everywhere they go. Now that is fine because they are very loving dogs and well behaved. Except when they get together (which is often as my parents watch my nieces when my sister is working) and then they go wild. It is adorable to watch as they have so much exuberance but they do tend to make a mess. That though is not the deal breaker for me. I will get to that in a minute.

My sister has a cat and my parents have 4 cats and the dogs get along with them amazingly. In fact my parent's dog grooms herself the way the cats groom themselves- it's hysterical. She licks her paws and then cleans herself with the paws. It is too funny- she thinks she's a cat! But I digress. While they all get along great (my sister's cat and dog and my parent's cats and dog) our cats are not used to dogs in the same way and are terrified of all dogs for some reason. My original cats were good around the dogs and tolerated them well but my cats now are just plain scared when the dogs come over.

Which brings us to this summer. We invited my whole family over to our new beach house and of course they wanted to bring the dogs. To be fair, I do understand the reasons. It's a long trip for them and the dogs are not used to being left alone for any more than an hour at a time if even that. My parents had a dog sitter but she moved and since then they haven't yet found someone to replace her. My sister could have left the dogs at her vet clinic for the day but that would have been a lot out of the way and we are already a couple of hours from her as it is. So a long trip with 2 little girls in the car and an even longer detour for my parents if they had to go to my sister's clinic to drop off their dog.

In the past I had allowed them to bring their dogs to our homes but it was always difficult because as I said they do tend to make a drooly mess. *But* that was before and our cats were different cats. My family had come over to the new house once before (a month or so before this get together) this invite and we allowed them (I wasn't crazy about this but felt mean if I said no) to bring the dogs and it was a frickin disaster. The cats hid the whole time (long day) and when everyone finally left we found that one of the cats had urinated in the master bathroom. So, at that time I made up my mind I wasn't putting the cats through that again. All our cats are rescues and have been through a lot before we adopted them.

Well, when I informed my mom she went ballistic. Ranting and raving that she wasn't going to leave her poor dog alone and so she wouldn't come. Of course that was not an option as we invited them for Father's Day and I wanted my parents there. But I was pissed that she was so rude and uncaring about how our cats were so stressed the last time they came with the dogs. (Our cats don't care for kids either but it wasn't like I told them don't bring my nieces LOL). We went back and forth for quite a while and I said it was final. No dogs were coming into our house. *If* they wanted to bring them they would have to stay outside in the backyard but there was a chance of rain so I said even if it was pouring. No exceptions. It was quite unpleasant and in the end they left both dogs at my parent's house with the neighbor checking in on them every couple of hours. Not ideal and I can understand how badly one would feel having to leave part of their family at home alone especially such sweet dogs as Tara and Harley and it did upset me to have to insist but our cats come first in their own home. It was horrible the first time they all came over with Tara and Harley because even though the dogs are very cat friendly our cats are just so darn terrified and stressed and that trumps my desire to be a welcoming hostess to my families dogs. KWIM? My sister and her husband and the kids stayed over that night but my parents went home to be with the dogs but they never stay overnight anyway.

We have another situation coming up and I am not sure how to deal with it as we have good friends with another lovely dog (golden lab- Harry) and they are planning to visit us and stay over at our beach house and I am not sure how to handle it. Harry is the best behaved dog I know but the issue of our cats being terrified of dogs remains and I am going to have to let them know Harry cannot come. They used to have a dog walker but after Harry got injured on her watch they let her go and my friend has since retired so there is no need for one now. I am concerned about how to deal with this but I know my friend will understand. Just that I hate to be so inhospitable to other people's animals. I mean, we love all animals! All of them and hate to be singling out dogs. In the past it was so not a problem because as I said my original cats were OK around dogs. But this new crew hates them with a passion I have not ever experienced before.

 

[iheartscience]

I've never had this come up, but if a house guest wanted to bring a dog I'd tell them no. I actually did tell a friend her dog couldn't ride in my car once, come to think of it.

I have 2 cats, 1 of which is very timid, and I wouldn't put them through the stress of dealing with a strange dog. Plus I'm not a dog person and I don't particularly want a dog in my house, whether it's well-behaved or not.

Your DH needs to step up and tell his sister the dog is not welcome. I can't believe she hasn't trained the dog and it pees and poops all over the place-unreal. Not to mention her feeding it all the food you prepared?!! Yeah, your DH needs to learn the word NO. And if she doesn't want to come without the dog, oh well. She doesn't sound like the type of house guest you'd miss having around.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

A week ago, I would have said "no." This was before we adopted two GSD/Chow mixes on Saturday.

We have a cat and right now he's warming up to our dogs. Sort of. Our best friends have a pretty well behaved dog and I have already told them they can bring him now that we are a "dog house." I have no patience for untrained dogs. If the dog can't sit/stay/lay down/drop whatever is hanging out of their mouth, they aren't allowed. They also can't chase my cat; it was his house first.

I would never presume that it's okay to bring my dogs over to anyone else's house without them offering first. I wouldn't even ask. These dogs are big.

Luckily, DH's parents have a dog and my parents our super dog-friendly; for the upcoming holidays, we know our dogs will be traveling with us.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

In most cases, I'd rather have a canine house guest than a human one

 

[missy]

In most cases, I'd rather have a canine house guest than a human one

Huge ditto to that NEL!!!
(if I didn't have 4 cats that hated dogs that is )

 

[blacksand]

i really hate people who bring their dogs with them everywhere they go. Sorry, but it drives me crazy. I, for one, am severely allergic to dogs, all breeds, even the "hypoallergenic" newer breeds. I am also allergic to cats, although not as severely. We have friends and relatives who have dogs, and I still visit them. I take meds, have an inhaler ready, and deal with it. I think it's worth it for the opportunity to visit loved ones, and I'd never complain to my host. But if anyone brought their pets to MY house? I would have a fit. I think that is so rude. Bringing any uninvited guest anywhere is rude. Bringing pets, when lots of people don't like/are allergic to pets, is just unacceptable, unless they are explicitly invited.

For the record, I love animals, especially cats, I just don't tolerate them well health-wise. I myself have a small herd of guinea pigs and two bunnies...but I don't bring them to other people's houses!

 

[Mrsacornblue]

I don't bring my dogs to other people's houses unless they are invited....and I don't ask. The invitation needs to be extended by the host. We have two dogs who love to run and are escape artists so bringing them places is more stressful than not. If we need to stay over, we either board them with a friend or one of us doesn't go. What I don't do is confine/crate/hide away my dogs when people visit us. This is their house and they have free run of the downstairs. I clean really well prior to having people over and warn them that the dogs are very friendly and exuberent. If people have allergies or dog issues, I would prefer meeting at their house or a public place.

 

[Pandora II]

DH is severely allergic so it's a complete no to any animals except reptiles - and they tend to be more happy left at home!

My parents 'had' cats (they lost two in the last month ) and dogs were totally forbidden. The cats were siamese and not only were they stressed out but they would attack any dog that came near them so would have been rather disasterous.

If my parents were going away then the cats went into the cattery for a few days - or the neighbour would come round and feed them. They go on holiday for a month or so to Cornwall (about a 7 hour drive) every summer and the cats always went too. They LOVED going - didn't overly love the car, but settled down after 20 minutes or so. Siamese are more people-cats than place-cats though so they never had an issue being in a new place.

I think it is not right to bring a dog into a house that doesn't have dogs already especially if they have cats or small children (my 2 year old is very scared of dogs since a friend's knocked her flying a few months ago).

Ultimately it's pretty rude to bring an animal into anyone's house unless they are welcomed and even ruder to kick up a fuss when you are told they can't come.

 

[yssie]

Absolutely not.

I love animals. Dogs, cats, goats... I don't, however, trust that all people train, take care of, and pick up after their pets as fastidiously as I would require to be okay with that animal in my home/yard. I agree - I am appalled by your SIL's dog's lack of training!

More importantly though we have three cats, two of which are easily stressed. We wouldn't want to put them through having to deal with strange animals in their territory - or the smells those strange animals would leave even after they're gone.

 

[stepcutnut]

I would tell the SIL NO visiting with the dog in tow. What a frustrating situation, but it is your house-your rules

We have a dog and several cats, we tried allowing my grandparents to bring their dog(who was very well behaved) to our home when they visited-but the cats got all stressed out and one peed all over for days after they left. So-that was it for me, we told them and all our friends that wanted to visit with their dogs, it just doesn't work for us to have other dogs in the house. All of our friends understood, but my grandparents refused to visit without the dog. This really made me mad, as I don't assume that anyone wants my dog at their house and wouldn't bring him if they didn't invite him. So I understand your frustrations-good luck and stick to your guns or I am guessing you will be sorry you didn't!

 

[iugurl]

Thanks everyone for your replies! It is not going to be pleasant, but I need to put my foot down.

 

[Amys Bling]

My SIL has a horrendously behaved dog. She is not potty trained, or at least not trained well. She poops and pees anywhere she pleases. For some reason, SIL thinks it is funny and cute. The dog even does this at their house and they don't seem to mind. The dog is really small, but is quite annoying. She will jump up on you/couch until you pick her up. I have new, expensive leather couches and don't want the dog on my couch nor jumping/clawing at the bottom of the couch. We also have new wood floor. I really don't want her walking on my floors with her sharp claws, or worse - pooping/peeing on my new floor. I don't have a dog of my own (even though I want one) because of my flooring and furniture. Why should I deal with someone else's dog? However, they view their dog as a child and will be terribly offended and probably will refuse to come without the dog.

The dog is terribly spoiled and the last time they were here (at a different place, an apartment, not our brand new house) the dog peed twice on our carpet, nearly got us in trouble with the downstairs neighbor for barking so much while we were gone, and ate half of our food. Yes, the eating is SIL's fault. She has refused to feed the dog dog food. She insists on feeding her "real" food. So SIL was constantly in my fridge/pantry feeding the dog food that I had slaved over for hours AND some food that I bought already prepared that was quite pricey .

I realize the solution is quite simple, the word NO. However, DH wants to see his sister. DH is willing to put up with the dog in order to see her. SIL has been on us for inviting them over to see our new house.

NO! I am a dog owner and lover, and believe me I would say yes to pets being here in my house- BUT not one that you described- unless it is crated when no one is home, and sectioned off somewhere in the house where he cannot damage things. Sorry, but I would NEVER ask or allow my dog to behave like that!

 

[Amys Bling]

I don't bring my dogs to other people's houses unless they are invited....and I don't ask. The invitation needs to be extended by the host. We have two dogs who love to run and are escape artists so bringing them places is more stressful than not. If we need to stay over, we either board them with a friend or one of us doesn't go. What I don't do is confine/crate/hide away my dogs when people visit us. This is their house and they have free run of the downstairs. I clean really well prior to having people over and warn them that the dogs are very friendly and exuberent. If people have allergies or dog issues, I would prefer meeting at their house or a public place.

couldn't agree more! We have an energetic black lab/boxer and if someone has an issue coming to our house- tough! it's his house and then we will meet out at dinner. But I would never bring him over some place unless invited- and all our friends have dogs and fenced in yards and they play and love each other. But I would never ask that our dog be invited someplace.