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How do you handle "One- Uppers?"

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,717
Yes. I was at my university's library with a girl that I used to be friends with, who struck up a conversation with a guy sitting at the next table.

She said, "What are you studying?"
He said, "Engineering"
She said, "I'm going to be a dentist. I'm going to make more money than you." She has yet to apply or be accepted to dental school, at this time we were undergraduates.
He said, "I'm going to make money faster than you."

I was so mortified. She used to do it all the time with me, but I never thought she' do it with a stranger. I mentioned that I ate out 3 times a week; she immediately said she ate out 4 times a week. I bought my fave dress on sale for $13; she has it in 4 colors and paid full price $70 for each. I distance myself from people like this--life is too short.

Since you can't OUP, how about the same wide-eyed, one word answer, "Wow!" Maybe she'll cut it down once she realizes that's the only thing you'll say?
 

lliang_chi

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
3,740
Hm, I'm a little unfamiliar with the phrase "One-Upper." Is this someone who just tells tall tales? Or is it someone that everything in life is a "competition" and they're always winning? E.g. I paid less than you, did more than you, have more kids than you, etc.

I think I know some of both, but can't say I speak to any of them on a regular basis. Thank goodness.

~LC
 

sparklyheart

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 4, 2009
Messages
523
This thread could not have come at a better time.. Not trying to one-up anyone at all.. just a vent :naughty: There is a lady in my office who you can't tell anything because she will always have done it better/quicker/or whatever. I don't know how to handle her!! We have a very open door policy but she just walks in and puts her hands on my shoulders and starts talking. I stopped talking to her when she does that because she won't stop one-upping me once I start.. Even if it's just that I had a good morning.. She had a GREAT morning and her husband made her lunch. I just sit there typing away, turn around and say hi and then go back to my screen. I can avoid her most of the day but not at lunch. No one can talk because she's so busy talking about how something she did was better than what we can do. UGH!!!! I try to sit on my phone playing a game but I feel so rude...

Luckily the other people in the office feel similarly but maybe they are just nicer because they will sit there and talk forever with her. I just get tired of even making a simple statement knowing I will get an earful afterwards.
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
12,111
OUpeargirl|1313017249|2988153 said:
-Her son has the most perfect body she has ever seen. He doesn't have an ounce of fat. Every muscle that COULD be developed, is developed.

Oh my.
 

canuk-gal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 19, 2004
Messages
25,625
thing2of2|1313025941|2988241 said:
OUpeargirl|1313017249|2988153 said:
-Her son has the most perfect body she has ever seen. He doesn't have an ounce of fat. Every muscle that COULD be developed, is developed.

Oh my.


Penelope???????
 

centralsquare

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Messages
2,216
sparklyheart|1313024888|2988234 said:
This thread could not have come at a better time.. Not trying to one-up anyone at all.. just a vent :naughty: There is a lady in my office who you can't tell anything because she will always have done it better/quicker/or whatever. I don't know how to handle her!! We have a very open door policy but she just walks in and puts her hands on my shoulders and starts talking. I stopped talking to her when she does that because she won't stop one-upping me once I start.. Even if it's just that I had a good morning.. She had a GREAT morning and her husband made her lunch. I just sit there typing away, turn around and say hi and then go back to my screen. I can avoid her most of the day but not at lunch. No one can talk because she's so busy talking about how something she did was better than what we can do. UGH!!!! I try to sit on my phone playing a game but I feel so rude...

Luckily the other people in the office feel similarly but maybe they are just nicer because they will sit there and talk forever with her. I just get tired of even making a simple statement knowing I will get an earful afterwards.

Urgh, how taxing! As if work isn't tough enough!
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
12,111
canuk-gal|1313027543|2988259 said:
thing2of2|1313025941|2988241 said:
OUpeargirl|1313017249|2988153 said:
-Her son has the most perfect body she has ever seen. He doesn't have an ounce of fat. Every muscle that COULD be developed, is developed.

Oh my.

Penelope???????

HA love that skit!
 

MAC-W

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 28, 2009
Messages
671
Anytime I come across someone like that my normal response is to give all the WOW!! responses and validations they are seeking, letting them drone on telling loads of stories and then go the exact opposite and say something along the lines "nothing like that has ever happened to me - I must lead a very ordinary / normal /boring life" and then giggle to myself as they try to one-up that. Their usual response is something along the lines of "oh I know. my life is normaly so ordinary I mean like really boring, these 20 events were such a one-off" :lol:
 

OUpearlgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2007
Messages
3,081
MAC-W|1313071613|2988510 said:
Anytime I come across someone like that my normal response is to give all the WOW!! responses and validations they are seeking, letting them drone on telling loads of stories and then go the exact opposite and say something along the lines "nothing like that has ever happened to me - I must lead a very ordinary / normal /boring life" and then giggle to myself as they try to one-up that. Their usual response is something along the lines of "oh I know. my life is normaly so ordinary I mean like really boring, these 20 events were such a one-off" :lol:

Haha! Isn't that the truth!

There's a certain thread right now that is causing a little bit of one up-age. It's taking every fiber of my being to not comment "WOW" on some of the responses.
 

AmeliaG

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2011
Messages
880
MAC-W|1313071613|2988510 said:
Their usual response is something along the lines of "oh I know. my life is normaly so ordinary I mean like really boring, these 20 events were such a one-off" :lol:

Oh my God! You've got to love it! Although it makes you wonder if kelpie is right and some people are so inept at relating to people, and the only way they can think of to share is saying 'Me too' even when you're saying your life is boring.
 

oneam

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 25, 2008
Messages
147
Don't engage them. I had a friend like this and I eventually just engaged her less and less until she was pretty much phased out entirely. She made every encouter feel like a competition, it was very uncomfortable. I still deal w/ her regularly but I don't tell her anything and I just listen to what she has to say and nod and DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS, and soon, it's over. Once she told me the guy that cleaned her septic tank out complimented her on how clean it was. I laughed until I was in tears. Her sh*t literally does not stink. That was the best. :appl:
 

centralsquare

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Messages
2,216
oneam|1313095267|2988785 said:
Don't engage them. I had a friend like this and I eventually just engaged her less and less until she was pretty much phased out entirely. She made every encouter feel like a competition, it was very uncomfortable. I still deal w/ her regularly but I don't tell her anything and I just listen to what she has to say and nod and DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS, and soon, it's over. Once she told me the guy that cleaned her septic tank out complimented her on how clean it was. I laughed until I was in tears. Her sh*t literally does not stink. That was the best. :appl:

:lol: :lol: :lol:
 

TristanC

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 6, 2011
Messages
995
OUpeargirl|1313017249|2988153 said:
Haha oh I laugh about her all of the time.

In three years she has been sick every. single. time. that I am. Not once have I walked in with a cold or something similar and not heard her say that she's feeling under the weather as well.

Just a few funny things I've heard over the years.
-A distant relative she found on one of those family history websites was born in a castle. So that means she is royalty. Literally heard her say the words, "So that makes me royalty."
-She has seen three black bears chasing people in her life.
-Was on a plane that almost crashed.
-Narrowly missed being hit by a bus. "I mean, it almost touched my nose!!"
-Makes the best dinners every single night. Everything is from scratch. Even the scratch is from scratch.
-Her son has the most perfect body she has ever seen. He doesn't have an ounce of fat. Every muscle that COULD be developed, is developed.
-She has a blackbelt in karate and trained under the best instructor in the world. Of course, he chose to teach in OKLAHOMA....
-Her son was the YOUNGEST person to be on this gymnastic team. The youngest in the whole wide world!!

Ahh I needed to vent. :tongue: thanks! I would love to avoid her or conversation with her, but we are a very small business. I don't have a desk to retreat to or a way to close conversation. I normally just nod and make fun of her in my head..

- A distant relative of mine remembers her distant relative of then. We told her that birthing on our castle grounds was slovenly and to pack it in and do it in the animal pens but she went ahead and got born anyway. Sigh. Commoners.
- I've seen 4 people being chased by black bears. And there aren't even black bears where I live. Imagine that.
- Obviously the genius is that she knew somehow that the plane almost crashed. I mean, the pilots ALWAYS break out in laughter over the PA system when this happens right? "AHHAHAHAHAH ladyyyyys and GentleMEN! I am SOoooooo glad to inform you that although we ALMOST crashed, we're FINE now! ahahaha"
- In Vietnam, people are narrowly missed being hit by scooters 10million times a day. They don't think it is a big deal. They call it crossing the road.
- Heston Blumenthal makes his scratch from 3 different kinds of scratch and then makes it look like a different kind of scratch altogether, then makes a meal. Which is why the Fat Duck has 3 Michelin stars. Have you tried her food?
- I would alert the authorities before the poor child gets an Oedipus complex. Oh and honey, that Isn't a muscle?!
- Of course. Oklahoma Karate. World famous. Seriously??
- Her son isn't from China right? Where they take people from their families at the age of 3-4 to begin training for the olympic gymnastics teams?

Anyway, on good days, just treat it like bad entertainment. :))
 

supergirl10

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 21, 2008
Messages
315
princesss|1312999333|2988003 said:
Oh God, this is my boss to a T! He *always* has to have things first, have done them first, and done them bigger and better than you have - good or bad. I was talking about my heart condition the other day, and he said, "Oh yeah, I've had that..." REALLY, DUDE?!?!?!?!

Fo shizzle! ^ That made me laugh so hard I nearly cried! Generally speaking, one doesn't have a heart condition and then not :confused: ??

Its so funny this thread came up, I've been thinking about it a bit due to a certain frenemie who I am trying to distance myself from. Poor OP you can't escape its at your work.

The frenemie is mostly the 'you couldn't possibly have a more difficult family member, have had a worse day, be more ill' etc. The latter use to make me really angry, mainly because I have a diagnosed neurological condition and she has very infrequent bouts of dizziness, somehow her is always so much worse oh plus she is always so much more unwell than me (her words, not mine) :o Now I just laugh about it with another mutual friend that finds it intolerable as well and that is my vent.
 

oneam

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 25, 2008
Messages
147
Wow, Supergirl, that sounds just like mine, and I've always considered her a frenemy as well. She's just a remarkable individual in that she always works harder and struggles daily w/ unbelievable hardships both at home and at work, it's really quite commendable considering she's ill 80% of the time. These folks are so similar based on the anecdotes I see here that it almost seems like a personality disorder. The silver lining is, once you realize it's them, not you, you can just be an audience, and lord knows they can be entertaining. Someone should put together a book one-upper quotes, it would be hilarious.
 

HollyS

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 18, 2007
Messages
6,105
centralsquare|1313116608|2989034 said:
oneam|1313095267|2988785 said:
Don't engage them. I had a friend like this and I eventually just engaged her less and less until she was pretty much phased out entirely. She made every encouter feel like a competition, it was very uncomfortable. I still deal w/ her regularly but I don't tell her anything and I just listen to what she has to say and nod and DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS, and soon, it's over. Once she told me the guy that cleaned her septic tank out complimented her on how clean it was. I laughed until I was in tears. Her sh*t literally does not stink. That was the best. :appl:

:lol: :lol: :lol:



I don't think it can get funnier than that! I would have hooted with laughter, if she had told me that story! And then I would have taken your thought and responded directly to her, "So, your sh*t really doesn't stink, then? WOW!" :naughty:

That is THE one-upper story here! You win! :lol: :lol:
 

oneam

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 25, 2008
Messages
147
Well, I am super flattered :cheeky: , but I dunno, there is some stiff competition here. Like "my son has a great body". :o

I was thinking, well, she's def a one-upper, but maybe that wasn't the greatest example, as I wasn't claiming my septic tank to be spotless or anything, but then I remember it happened when I was telling her about my septic cleaning appt that turned out to be an incident w/ these guys having dug up a third of the front yard only to tell me this would be a bigger more $$$ job because "look (no thanks) something-or-other is broken".

It's not always a case of one-upmanship, though she is a pro, she really just needs everyone to understand that despite her many challenges, she is perfect.

Once we travelled together (I didn't know any better back then) and on the morning of our checkout I was struggling w/ the fancy online checkout on the tv w/ the remote. I finally gave up and went to check out at the front desk, and went outside to meet her at the shuttle about 5 minutes late. When I told her what happened her response, naturally, was, "that's why I ALWAYS check out at the front desk, blah, blah, whatever nobody cares" I was particularlly cranky and snapped "great, you're perfect" which was followed by an awkard silence that lasted thru about half the plane trip.

A few more random ones:

She cleans out her garbage bins regularly by filling them w/ a bleach/water solution. Her garbagemen love her.
She ALWAYS carries non perishable food stuffs in her car in case she comes upon a homeless person.
[TMI] When she was in labor, not only did she not go #2 by accident, she actually had to pee the whole time, but held it during the labor and shocked & amazed her nurse after the baby was delivered by telling her she needed to pee.

I thought once she had her daugther a few years ago she'd settle down, but really, it's just resulted in her having a perfect kid. Potty trained at 9 mos, reading by 18 mos, etc. What can she say though, the kid has good genes :praise:
 

centralsquare

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Messages
2,216
oneam - all I can think is "that poor child!!!" It's one thing if your boss is that way, but your mom???!!! :errrr:
 

taovandel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 22, 2008
Messages
1,434
I was hoping someone would bring up penelope!!!
 
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