Quit a friendship due to political/social issues?

[FrekeChild]

My step-MIL or whatever you want to call her (husband calls her "my dad's wife") called our nephew the "N" word...she, however, is essentially a mail order bride from the Ukraine. So I don't exactly give her opinion/words much value. In fact, I blatantly ignore her completely.

I only associate with ONE person who is not of my political leanings, and that's because during the rest of the four years that don't revolve around major political elections, she's pretty freaking cool. She would NEVER EVER EVER say those kinds of things about another person or their race. Otherwise, I just cannot deal with people who do not share the same values as I do.

Especially, if they are like my dad's ex-GF, who is a religious Rush/Glenn Beck/Fox lover who thinks that people who cannot afford medical insurance/care should die from their ailments...which is a big part of the reason she is an ex.

Uh ... Freke? That sounds little pot, kettle - don't give credence to her words because she's an idiot using racist cant, not because she's from the Ukraine!

BTW, not sure here, but is she actually using the American N-word, or possibly something that sounds a lot like it, but with a soft, drawn-out "e" sound, sounds like "neger?" Just asking, because in Russian/Ukranian, as far as I'm aware, that's actually still considered to be the polite, politically correct, sensitive term - always throws me for a loop around native speakers if the topic of race comes up. (Well, that, or a lot of the Russian speakers out in Brighton have race issues, which is not necessarily out of the question.) Definitely not defending the use of the word if it's the American epithet, but if she's still a wonky ESL speaker and nobody's explained it to her, it might be unintentional.

THIS!

And yes, Circe is completely right about the way that Russians/Ukrainians say that word in the Russian/Ukraine language. Whenever my parents say it, throws me for a loop too.

No. She said the American "N" word. Called my half black nephew that to his face. And also behind his back, but when he could still hear her.

And I would have the same opinion of her (or any woman) who married a man (no offense to my husband or my SIL, who are clearly aware of my FIL's issues, but he is racist, judgmental, crude, bigoted and those are his GOOD qualities) exclusively for money. This is regardless of nationality/race/ethnicity/religion. Sorry, she just happens to be Ukrainian, but he was totally willing to go with...any woman that would have him...and the only ones he could get were ones he'd pay for. Whats funny is that once they got married she found out how much money he actually had and it was not as much as he had originally touted to her. Which she makes snide comments about all of the time.

I should note here that we do not spend any time with them as we don't share any values with either of them, and if you met my husband, you wouldn't even know they shared DNA.

Just curious, what does neger mean anyway?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I have never had a close friend that was racist, and I would probably not get along very well with anyone who was because I have adopted a child of another race and have friends who have adopted children of other races.

But I hope y'all aren't equating racism with any particular political view. Disliking a president does not have to have anything to do with racism. I have friends who are republican, democrat, independent, etc. I respect their views as they respect mine, and we just don't talk about politics a lot. We talk about the things we share in common. I would suggest that those who cannot have friends of other political, religious, and racial backgrounds are the least tolerant of all....speaking of tolerance.

 

[packrat]

I have a friend who is very..well, JD says she has a lot of hippie ideas. We have a different view on some things..I change the subject if it wanders into that territory. We're both very "do your own thing" religiously, but the political/social things we're pretty different. My feelings come from my experiences..she's not had these experiences, so doesn't understand where I'm coming from, that kind of thing. The only person I really talk about political/social things w/is JD..and we don't agree on everything but I know he'll still be my friend.

 

[JewelFreak]

Isn't neger the word for black, as in the color? In Spanish it's negro, in Italian nero. Sounds like it's borrowed from Romance languages. I don't know how you'd pronounce it in Ukrainian but it would be a shocker to hear if you don't know.

Thing, when I saw your quote of what I wrote, I realized it looked more aggressive than I meant it to be. I apologize. Did not mean to smack anybody upside the head -- it's the same thing I tell my brother, who is an employee of MoveOn.org. He "knows" all sorts of things about media & a zillion personalities, though he's never watched them or listened to them. He takes what he reads from that & similar sites as gospel, no need to look first-hand for himself, guess that makes life easier for him. I have looked at his site & others he likes & find them not very accurate. At least I've done my own research when I disagree with him (or others). Disagreement is good - if we all wanted the same thing, we'd zoom right off a cliff.

Isn't that what this thread is about? Tolerance of those who are different from us. It also illustrates why we don't have political threads.

--- Laurie

 

[Dancing Fire]

Thing, no need to get snarky -- you don't know what my politics are & we can't discuss them here, not that I'm interested in doing so. I'm not gonna bite you for whatever you watch or think; I'd appreciate similar from you. I have friends from all over the political spectrum & almost all extremes of it; we don't sneer at each other. I gave an opinion. We're allowed to do that in this country, hopefully without unpleasantness.

And I don't care what your politics are. Fox News is a well-oiled Republican propaganda machine, and that includes the "news" shows. I'll give Shep Smith a pass, but he's the only one.

Edited to add italics

should i switch to MSNBC?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Isn't that what this thread is about? Tolerance of those who are different from us. It also illustrates why we don't have political threads.

--- Laurie

cuz in 2008 the PS liberals got out of control and the conservatives had no choice but to surrender...

 

[Sizzle]

I most definatley would end the friendship and I probably woukd have busted her out in the moment and let all of our mutual friends know why the friendship was over. I actually HAVE ended friendships becuase I beleive my grandfathers philosphy that "if you hang out with 9 trifling muther&($!,* you're bound to be the 10th ( granpa used colorful language).

 

[iheartscience]

Isn't neger the word for black, as in the color? In Spanish it's negro, in Italian nero. Sounds like it's borrowed from Romance languages. I don't know how you'd pronounce it in Ukrainian but it would be a shocker to hear if you don't know.

Thing, when I saw your quote of what I wrote, I realized it looked more aggressive than I meant it to be. I apologize. Did not mean to smack anybody upside the head -- it's the same thing I tell my brother, who is an employee of MoveOn.org. He "knows" all sorts of things about media & a zillion personalities, though he's never watched them or listened to them. He takes what he reads from that & similar sites as gospel, no need to look first-hand for himself, guess that makes life easier for him. I have looked at his site & others he likes & find them not very accurate. At least I've done my own research when I disagree with him (or others). Disagreement is good - if we all wanted the same thing, we'd zoom right off a cliff.

Isn't that what this thread is about? Tolerance of those who are different from us. It also illustrates why we don't have political threads.

--- Laurie

No worries. I'm just not sure why you assumed that I listen to whatever MoveOn and MediaMatters say vs. doing my own research and forming my own opinions based on facts. Do you assume that all liberals do whatever those two organizations say? I don't even visit those sites, actually. I don't have a problem with either organization, but I would much rather read the news myself. I also don't watch any news shows-I read a lot faster than news anchors read.

Basically, I like cold hard facts, which is precisely why I don't watch Fox.

 

[iheartscience]

Thing, no need to get snarky -- you don't know what my politics are & we can't discuss them here, not that I'm interested in doing so. I'm not gonna bite you for whatever you watch or think; I'd appreciate similar from you. I have friends from all over the political spectrum & almost all extremes of it; we don't sneer at each other. I gave an opinion. We're allowed to do that in this country, hopefully without unpleasantness.

And I don't care what your politics are. Fox News is a well-oiled Republican propaganda machine, and that includes the "news" shows. I'll give Shep Smith a pass, but he's the only one.

Edited to add italics

should i switch to MSNBC?

Nah, you should switch the TV off and read instead. And read real newspapers that do their own reporting vs. using whatever comes down the AP wire.

 

[iheartscience]

Isn't that what this thread is about? Tolerance of those who are different from us. It also illustrates why we don't have political threads.

--- Laurie

cuz in 2008 the PS liberals got out of control and the conservatives had no choice but to surrender...

Ha! You conservatives managed to cause plenty of trouble.

And I for one look forward to political threads making their triumphant return, which has been hinted at recently.

 

[ksinger]

Isn't neger the word for black, as in the color? In Spanish it's negro, in Italian nero. Sounds like it's borrowed from Romance languages. I don't know how you'd pronounce it in Ukrainian but it would be a shocker to hear if you don't know.

Thing, when I saw your quote of what I wrote, I realized it looked more aggressive than I meant it to be. I apologize. Did not mean to smack anybody upside the head -- it's the same thing I tell my brother, who is an employee of MoveOn.org. He "knows" all sorts of things about media & a zillion personalities, though he's never watched them or listened to them. He takes what he reads from that & similar sites as gospel, no need to look first-hand for himself, guess that makes life easier for him. I have looked at his site & others he likes & find them not very accurate. At least I've done my own research when I disagree with him (or others). Disagreement is good - if we all wanted the same thing, we'd zoom right off a cliff.

Isn't that what this thread is about? Tolerance of those who are different from us. It also illustrates why we don't have political threads.

--- Laurie

No worries. I'm just not sure why you assumed that I listen to whatever MoveOn and MediaMatters say vs. doing my own research and forming my own opinions based on facts. Do you assume that all liberals do whatever those two organizations say? I don't even visit those sites, actually. I don't have a problem with either organization, but I would much rather read the news myself. I also don't watch any news shows-I read a lot faster than news anchors read.

Basically, I like cold hard facts, which is precisely why I don't watch Fox.

Yes, I prefer the written word for my news nowadays too, because it is emotion free. It isn't bias free, but at least it doesn't have knowing looks, raised and waggling eyebrows and veiled innuendo - and it is requires less immediate response - I can re-read stuff if I need to.

 

[iheartscience]

I have never had a close friend that was racist, and I would probably not get along very well with anyone who was because I have adopted a child of another race and have friends who have adopted children of other races.

But I hope y'all aren't equating racism with any particular political view. Disliking a president does not have to have anything to do with racism. I have friends who are republican, democrat, independent, etc. I respect their views as they respect mine, and we just don't talk about politics a lot. We talk about the things we share in common. I would suggest that those who cannot have friends of other political, religious, and racial backgrounds are the least tolerant of all....speaking of tolerance.

Agreed, but saying that President Obama is actually from Kenya and is a secret Muslim is racist and Islamophobic.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I have never had a close friend that was racist, and I would probably not get along very well with anyone who was because I have adopted a child of another race and have friends who have adopted children of other races.

But I hope y'all aren't equating racism with any particular political view. Disliking a president does not have to have anything to do with racism. I have friends who are republican, democrat, independent, etc. I respect their views as they respect mine, and we just don't talk about politics a lot. We talk about the things we share in common. I would suggest that those who cannot have friends of other political, religious, and racial backgrounds are the least tolerant of all....speaking of tolerance.

Agreed, but saying that President Obama is actually from Kenya and is a secret Muslim is racist and Islamophobic.

Well, I think if they had produced his birth certificate early on, all that ridiculous speculation wouldn't have happened in regard to his birthplace. Seems like that would be standard for all presidential candidates.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Isn't that what this thread is about? Tolerance of those who are different from us. It also illustrates why we don't have political threads.

--- Laurie

cuz in 2008 the PS liberals got out of control and the conservatives had no choice but to surrender...

Ha! You conservatives managed to cause plenty of trouble.

And I for one look forward to political threads making their triumphant return, which has been hinted at recently.

i hope so...i always get a good laugh from reading the liberal's POV...

 

[iheartscience]

I have never had a close friend that was racist, and I would probably not get along very well with anyone who was because I have adopted a child of another race and have friends who have adopted children of other races.

But I hope y'all aren't equating racism with any particular political view. Disliking a president does not have to have anything to do with racism. I have friends who are republican, democrat, independent, etc. I respect their views as they respect mine, and we just don't talk about politics a lot. We talk about the things we share in common. I would suggest that those who cannot have friends of other political, religious, and racial backgrounds are the least tolerant of all....speaking of tolerance.

Agreed, but saying that President Obama is actually from Kenya and is a secret Muslim is racist and Islamophobic.

Well, I think if they had produced his birth certificate early on, all that ridiculous speculation wouldn't have happened in regard to his birthplace. Seems like that would be standard for all presidential candidates.

Actually, he did produce his birth certificate early on-it was the standard Certificate of Live Birth provided by the state of Hawaii. All the ridiculous speculation only happened because he is African-American. Do you remember any controversy over any other president's birth certificate? I don't. To deny that the furor over President Obama's place of birth is anything but racist is absurd.

 

[kama_s]

I have never had a close friend that was racist, and I would probably not get along very well with anyone who was because I have adopted a child of another race and have friends who have adopted children of other races.

But I hope y'all aren't equating racism with any particular political view. Disliking a president does not have to have anything to do with racism. I have friends who are republican, democrat, independent, etc. I respect their views as they respect mine, and we just don't talk about politics a lot. We talk about the things we share in common. I would suggest that those who cannot have friends of other political, religious, and racial backgrounds are the least tolerant of all....speaking of tolerance.

Agreed, but saying that President Obama is actually from Kenya and is a secret Muslim is racist and Islamophobic.

Well, I think if they had produced his birth certificate early on, all that ridiculous speculation wouldn't have happened in regard to his birthplace. Seems like that would be standard for all presidential candidates.

Actually, he did produce his birth certificate early on-it was the standard Certificate of Live Birth provided by the state of Hawaii. All the ridiculous speculation only happened because he is African-American. Do you remember any controversy over any other president's birth certificate? I don't. To deny that the furor over President Obama's place of birth is anything but racist is absurd.

To add to that, there are people who want him to produce his long form birth certificate. I don't recall ANY previous president or even presidential candidate being asked to do that.

It's insulting and overtly racist. I don't understand how it can possibly be construed in any other way.

 

[kama_s]

I would absolutely not be friends with anyone who refers to an African-American person as the n word. The end. I would stop hanging out with them and I would tell them why, too.

I also wouldn't be friends with anyone who believes Obama is a Kenyan Muslim, either. I like to surround myself with people who have a solid grasp on facts and reality.

As for the liberals supposedly watching Fox, they must all work for the Daily Show and Stephen Colbert. Either that or they like a good laugh and tune into Glenn Beck to get it.

I am lazy, so I'm just going to ditto Thing's sentiments. I find it impossible to be good friends with anyone who doesn't share my beliefs when it comes to politics and ethics.

 

[Circe]

Isn't neger the word for black, as in the color? In Spanish it's negro, in Italian nero. Sounds like it's borrowed from Romance languages. I don't know how you'd pronounce it in Ukrainian but it would be a shocker to hear if you don't know.

This, basically - like "Negro" in English, it derives from the name of the Niger river, which was used as a common referent for people from the African continent from Roman times onwards. In some languages (cough, English, cough), it was more heavily corrupted than in others. Point of fact, in Russian, it's considered incredibly rude to refer to someone by their skin color - calling someone "chyorne," black, in Russian, is sorta like using the N-word in English.

All that said, yup, she sounds dreadful.

 

[lbbaber]

I agree w/everyone stating they would end the friendship bc the person is racist, but I have no problem being friends with people that do not share my political views. I am surprised some (normal) people do. Same thing with religious views. I respect that people around me will not always share my beliefs. I even LIKE the variety! Seems a little close minded to only hang with people that are part of a specific political party/religious organization--no disrespect meant for those that have stated they will only associate with like minded individuals.

I can only imagine how heated political threads would get around here on an anonymous forum!

 

[megumic]

Instead of just walking away quietly, I'd probably challenge her and try to make her a better person. Ask her why she uses that word and what it means to her and express your distaste for it. Also let her know that you won't associate with her if she continues to use that word because it offends you. Further, I'd challenge her to explain why she thinks Obama is a Muslim and from Kenya -- based on what evidence is this true? Make her root her beliefs in something -- she'll find no leg to stand on.

Honestly, I think you fail as a friend if you walk away without confronting her. Sure, she might offend you with her thoughts and word choice, but at the same time, give her the opportunity to understand why you refuse to condone this behavior and see if she embraces the opportunity to reconsider her choices. I'm not saying you can make her change, but if you at least encourage a little thought you've done some good.

 

[lbbaber]

Instead of just walking away quietly, I'd probably challenge her and try to make her a better person. Ask her why she uses that word and what it means to her and express your distaste for it. Also let her know that you won't associate with her if she continues to use that word because it offends you. Further, I'd challenge her to explain why she thinks Obama is a Muslim and from Kenya -- based on what evidence is this true? Make her root her beliefs in something -- she'll find no leg to stand on.

Honestly, I think you fail as a friend if you walk away without confronting her. Sure, she might offend you with her thoughts and word choice, but at the same time, give her the opportunity to understand why you refuse to condone this behavior and see if she embraces the opportunity to reconsider her choices. I'm not saying you can make her change, but if you at least encourage a little thought you've done some good.

I have to say that I REALLY like this advice!

 

[Dreamer_D]

In my heart I know that I don't see this person the same way after this incident, I can't really see myself being close to her any longer or sharing things about my life.

This is how I would feel too, in the situation you describe but also if a friend expressed a few other sentiments that I strongly disagree with. And I would likely pull away from th friend and not share as much with her either, and likely the friendship would falter. Yup, I a judgemental when it comes to certain things, and being a flat out racist, without even knowing you are being one is something I am not particularly tolerate of.

I would probably also speak up against what they were saying in that moment, but that might depend a little on how close we were and whether I thought that she would listen or was just parroting things she heard. I have done so in the past for other issues. It usually does not go ver very well.

 

[JewelFreak]

should i switch to MSNBC?

Yeah, there's accuracy & balance for ya! You could join the 6 other people who watch it.

How interesting, Circe, about the origin of neger, negro, noire, nero! Never woulda thunk it. Etymology is fascinating.

And read real newspapers that do their own reporting vs. using whatever comes down the AP wire.

Where you gonna find one of those? They're as dead as unbiased tv, on a national level.

Must we re-hash the silly birth certificate issue over & over? It was always dumb. I thought it was finally finished -- there must be more relevant things to rant about, for pete's sake. Additionally, I, for one, am sick & tired of the race card being played every single time somebody disagrees w/Obama. The voters freakin' elected him, remember? And celebrated like crazy. That's not what I call a racist act. I don't think more than 2% of this country cares what color the pres. is as long as he doesn't screw things up. If he does, so far there's free speech & people can say so. Without regard to his skin color. I think using race is a lazy, easy way to denigrate the opposition w/out having to come up with facts on the issues discussed.

Pretend Herman Cain gets elected -- many of you will go nuts whenever he opens his mouth, you'll disagree so strongly. How "racist" will you be?

 

[Karl_K]

I would have said:
"shut up right now and don't use that word around me nor talk like that"
I once broke off a friendship with a black co-worker over him using the n word.
I told him I wont tolerate it from my white friends and I wasn't going to tolerate it from him.
James, other black guy who worked there applauded and said that goes for me also.
What is interesting is James considered African-American to be just as insulting as the N-word.
He would say he is "I am just as American as anyone else, I just happened to be born black."
He was one of my best friends for many years until we both moved on to different jobs.

 

[JewelFreak]

The politics of division, Karl. I hate hyphenated-American labels. Friends of mine from Haiti & Cuba don't like "African-American" either; "I'm not from Africa!" they say. Other friends whose families came here 120 years ago are "Italian-American?" Sorry, no, they are Americans. How about me? Am I English-American AND Dutch-American (I have both nationalities out the wazoo in my genealogy)? By that standard maybe 3/4 of the English are French-English, having descended from Norman invaders w/William the Conqueror.

 

[supergirl10]

I think my short answer would be yes. Although the previous post of challenging her sounds like a better and possibly more mature way of dealing with it. Obviously the racial slurs are just a prominent in Australia, but I have such difficulty tolerating such closed minded ideas. Siding with a particular political party is fairly rare over here, for the majority of the population they are all disliked.

I agree with another poster who mentioned those kind of ideas remind them of people they went to high school with. To assume that everyone of a same racial group is the same is ridiculous.

I have trouble socialing with some of my high school friends because of this, not as much to do with racial slurs but not thinking for yourself and believing everything reported on tv and in the paper as 100% factual.

I find that my uni friends are far more appropriate in this regard and on the same 'wave link' being that we work in health care. Sorry you are having this problem with a long time friend, let us know the outcome either way.

 

[iheartscience]

And read real newspapers that do their own reporting vs. using whatever comes down the AP wire.

Where you gonna find one of those? They're as dead as unbiased tv, on a national level.

Must we re-hash the silly birth certificate issue over & over? It was always dumb. I thought it was finally finished -- there must be more relevant things to rant about, for pete's sake. Additionally, I, for one, am sick & tired of the race card being played every single time somebody disagrees w/Obama. The voters freakin' elected him, remember? And celebrated like crazy. That's not what I call a racist act. I don't think more than 2% of this country cares what color the pres. is as long as he doesn't screw things up. If he does, so far there's free speech & people can say so. Without regard to his skin color. I think using race is a lazy, easy way to denigrate the opposition w/out having to come up with facts on the issues discussed.

Pretend Herman Cain gets elected -- many of you will go nuts whenever he opens his mouth, you'll disagree so strongly. How "racist" will you be?

There are several newspapers that still do their own reporting.

I certainly don't believe that everyone who disagrees with President Obama is racist. However, it's hard to ignore the racist e-mails sent repeatedly by Republican party officials, the racist signs held by the tea party crowd, and the growth of militia groups since President Obama has been elected. Not to mention all the claims that President Obama is some kind of pretender. He's really from Kenya, he's a Muslim, etc. (Speaking of, so what if he was a Muslim? Is that illegal?)

Denying that many of the attacks on President Obama have been racially tinged is denying reality. It's like white Americans denying that racism is still a problem, or saying that the pendulum has swung so far that now it's the white Americans who are discriminated against.

I'm from the rural south and I know for a fact that real racism exists. Someone might not drop an n-bomb, but they'd be very upset if their child dated an African-American. And plenty of people would drop an n-bomb. They also wear confederate flag clothing, bumper stickers, etc. Heritage not hate my ass. Even in cities it still exists. When my husband would answer the phone at a previous job and the caller asked if they were hiring, his boss would ask if they sounded black. She wanted to be able to skip calling them back.

Not to mention that this thread was started because someone the OP thought she knew turned out to be a straight up racist and called their waiter the n-word.

And I can't even pretend that Herman Cain will get elected.

 

[Circe]

There are several newspapers that still do their own reporting.

I certainly don't believe that everyone who disagrees with President Obama is racist. However, it's hard to ignore the racist e-mails sent repeatedly by Republican party officials, the racist signs held by the tea party crowd, and the growth of militia groups since President Obama has been elected. Not to mention all the claims that President Obama is some kind of pretender. He's really from Kenya, he's a Muslim, etc. (Speaking of, so what if he was a Muslim? Is that illegal?)

Denying that many of the attacks on President Obama have been racially tinged is denying reality. It's like white Americans denying that racism is still a problem, or saying that the pendulum has swung so far that now it's the white Americans who are discriminated against.

I'm from the rural south and I know for a fact that real racism exists. Someone might not drop an n-bomb, but they'd be very upset if their child dated an African-American. And plenty of people would drop an n-bomb. They also wear confederate flag clothing, bumper stickers, etc. Heritage not hate my a$$. Even in cities it still exists. When my husband would answer the phone at a previous job and the caller asked if they were hiring, his boss would ask if they sounded black. She wanted to be able to skip calling them back.

Not to mention that this thread was started because someone the OP thought she knew turned out to be a straight up racist and called their waiter the n-word.

And I can't even pretend that Herman Cain will get elected.

Agree with every word of this. I wish it weren't true, and I wish we lived in a "post-racial" America (well, no, I don't, as that sounds boring, homogeneous, and unlikely), but the fact of the matter is, there are a horrifying number of blatantly racist statements made to and about our president on a regular basis - and not even by average Joes, but by fellow politicians. I was trying to remember which Republican had called Obama "boy" (Geoff Davis, if you're curious), and, man, you'd be surprised to see the results you get if you try searching the phrase "called Obama ____." "Boy" and "liar" are the tip of the iceberg. I'm wracking my brain, but I just cannot recollect Bush, or any other white president, facing that kind of disrespect from his peers. And that's not even STARTING on the insane far-far-right protesters with their "Obama-as-witch-doctor," "Obama-as-Osama" and "Obama-as-monkey" signs.

Sadly, I think Cherry Blossom's friend is ... well, I can't say "in good company" with a straight face, but she's definitely not in the minority. Depressing.

 

[iota15]

The problem with a close friend saying something like that is I would lose respect for her. For me, once the respect is gone, a healthy close relationship cannot be maintained. I would naturally distance myself and let the relationship fade.

Also, birds of a feather do flock together. I wouldn't want other people thinking I held the same views as her. Diversity amoung our friends is a good thing, but not when views are held that I so vehemently object to and makes me question her sanity.

 

[JewelFreak]

I'm gonna say this & then i'm done. You're buying some half truths. Yes, in the rural south (I live there too) there are throwbacks; you can find nuts everywhere on any subject. Yes, there are racists in cities too. They are far the minority now, in the country as a whole. No, it is not perfect. News flash: it will never be perfect. But my rural neighborhood is a good example of present times: racially mixed -- black, white, Asian; Christian, Jewish & Whatever, even atheist. Middle income. Ages from young parents to retired people. Neighbors are close & friendly. And I have never, not once, heard even a disparaging tone of voice from anyone about race. I have listened for it, as a curious Yankee. Not. one. time. Including about a mixed-race couple living here. None of us even mention race; we talk about the people as individuals. I see kids getting off the school bus, bringing friends home with them, chattering away as they run up driveways -- and they are all colors.

I am insulted for myself and the vast number of good, hardworking, generous Americans across this vast continent when they are painted with the brush of racism, bleeding off from a few determined Confederates. It isn't true. It isn't fair. It isn't right.

Tea party people are concerned about the fiscal ruin facing this country and the intrusion of government into every part of their lives. That is their outlook and they're entitled to express it. They are worried; they are not racist. Black people go to these rallies too. Most of the objectionable signs have turned out to be carried by opposing groups, knowing the press will pick that up. There has not been ONE arrest for violence at any tea party rally -- compare that to left-leaning ones. (The only time a dust-up happened, it was a political foe who started beating on a tea partier -- that is on tape.)

The myth about someone -- I can't even remember who -- being called "boy" and the N word by tea party folks: It was at a big rally. There were thousands there with videocams, cell phones, reporters by the zillion recording everything. A website owner offered $100,000 for ANY recording of this happening. And no one, nobody, came up with one.

Thing, you didn't answer my question. Let me re-state. If you disagree with Herman Cain, elected or not, does that make you racist, if those who don't like Obama automatically are?

How racist is it to expect a President of the U.S. not to have to face the opposition & disagreement that every other one has endured throughout our history, because he is black?

Ten-Four on this subject, whew.