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Is it rude to discuss politics on Facebook?

suchende

Brilliant_Rock
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...or religion or money?

I am "facebook friends" with lots of colleagues, past and future. Someone I used to work with has some pretty extreme political views, and posts about them frequently, with or without links to inflammatory articles and blogs. Other people are very comfortable talking about faith. Still others post pictures of their e-rings, purchases, etc.

The religion thing, I can maybe understand only because I grew up in smalltown Iowa and I am sure a fair few of my Facebook friends are confident all their Facebook friends profess to be protestant Christians.

The politics thing grates on me; I don't think it's appropriate to discuss politics with colleagues, or to inundate them with political messages. But then, I know political movements rely on Facebook to gain traction these days, so maybe disseminating ideas over Facebook is becoming a crucial part of our political process.
 

Haven

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Ooh, this is a really interesting question. I'm on FB, but use it very rarely because I find a lot of what people share on it to be a bit much.

Personally, I think it is unwise to befriend colleagues and other non-personal friends on FB, and to then discuss politics or religion, or other things that you wouldn't otherwise share with such individuals. However, I think FB is blurring the line between what is and isn't appropriate to share with certain circles, and that's what I find so interesting.
 

VRBeauty

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I think some people (including facebook's founders) as a platform that is designed specifically for the purpose of blurring those lines between the various aspects of our lives. Personally, I'm not as comfortable with that concept! I also find that some of my friends post about their specific interests way more frequently than I want to read about them, or even to wade through their posts for the few postings I might be interested in. To me their postings are mostly mental and visual clutter. So... I "hide" the postings from several friends, and just hop over to their pages when I want to see what they're posting about these days or what's going on in their lives.

BTW I'm with Haven -- I'm selective about who I associate with on FB, and I have a strict policy not to include anyone associated with work as a facebook friend. Most of the colleagues who have asked understand that policy.
 

Pandora II

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No and No... maybe not money.

FB is a massive and useful tool politically - especially for disseminating viral campaigns. I don't know any MP's in my party who don't have a FB profile. In my last job - for a major political party - we were encouraged to use it at work.

I use my account occasionally for political purposes - such as if I want to remind people about upcoming elections or protest marches etc.

80% of my FB friends are similarly involved so it's not really a problem.
 

suchende

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Maybe it's my age (26) but I would feel uncomfortable turning down friend requests from colleagues. Besides, I knew the day my grandmother friended me, my days of posting albums from girls' nights out were over.
 

suchende

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Pandora, while I understand how effective FB can be as a political tool, I don't think that really goes to the issue of politeness.
 

Haven

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suchende|1302477539|2892831 said:
Maybe it's my age (26) but I would feel uncomfortable turning down friend requests from colleagues. Besides, I knew the day my grandmother friended me, my days of posting albums from girls' nights out were over.
That's interesting. I'm only 30, but I would feel so uncomfortable having access to a colleague's photos and other information they post on Facebook, and vice versa. I don't like to share much personal information with colleagues, and I tend to be more private than most IRL, so perhaps I'm odd on this one.

I have had a couple colleagues ask me if I'm on Facebook, and I've told them that I am, but I only use it to communicate with close friends and family.
 

suchende

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Haven, I know it varies from workplace to workplace. I've worked places where the majority of people are FB friends with one another. I've also worked 1 place where that wasn't the case.
 

MichelleCarmen

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suchende|1302477539|2892831 said:
Maybe it's my age (26) but I would feel uncomfortable turning down friend requests from colleagues. Besides, I knew the day my grandmother friended me, my days of posting albums from girls' nights out were over.

Well, I have more than one FB account so can post different stuff on each. Recently I've noticed that on my RL one a lot of people are removing their political/religious beliefs because it interfers with the fact that most of us have A LOT in common (aside from politics/religion) and why blow a friendship over one small issue we do not agree with (especially since our kids get along, as well)? Regardless of religion a person is, if we click, we do, and if not, that's just the way it is. I guess that's because most of my friends have different religious beliefs and I've learned it's not a big deal because all I want is someone who is FUNNY and has a great personality to hang out with :)

There ARE some relatives I wish were not on my FB page though...should have set up a seperate family page. :) I do want to block one...ugh, it kills me that I can't....hahahaha :errrr:
 

Haven

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Suchende--I'm sure it does vary. I imagine that most of my colleagues are not even on Facebook, now that I think about it.

I AM friends with several of my *former* colleagues from my high school teaching days. We're all friends, though, and I see them regularly in person, so I feel comfortable making that connection.

This thread made me want to see how many friends I actually have on Facebook, and I was shocked to see that the number is higher than I expected at 99. I counted and around 40 are family members or close family friends, another 25 are people I spend time with on a regular basis IRL, and the others are mostly people I was *once* very close with, and distance or time has changed that, but we still talk outside of FB.

ANYWAY, I find this discussion very interesting. I had a disagreement with a colleague not too long ago about whether Facebook brings us closer to people with whom we wouldn't otherwise be close. I think not, she disagrees.
 

MichelleCarmen

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suchende|1302477966|2892835 said:
Pandora, while I understand how effective FB can be as a political tool, I don't think that really goes to the issue of politeness.

Ugh, this reminds me. One time I posted a comment about a video game and a guy went NUTS on me. My comment was rather innocent - an observation - but the guy flipped out and went on a tangent. The silliest part was he didn't read my comment in proper context so he missed the point that I was basically saying what he agreed with. I didn't even know the guy! Lucky for FB Block! :)
 

iheartscience

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I think it depends on who you're friends with. The vast majority of my Facebook friends know me IRL, so they know my views already. I'm also not friends with any work people on Facebook, so I feel comfortable posting whatever I want.

It's pretty easy to avoid being friends with colleagues. You can make yourself very unsearchable and you can also just do what Haven does and tell them you're only Facebook friends with family and close friends. That's what I've done when Facebook comes up and no one has ever seemed offended or hurt.
 

kama_s

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thing2of2|1302479818|2892851 said:
I think it depends on who you're friends with. The vast majority of my Facebook friends know me IRL, so they know my views already. I'm also not friends with any work people on Facebook, so I feel comfortable posting whatever I want.

It's pretty easy to avoid being friends with colleagues. You can make yourself very unsearchable and you can also just do what Haven does and tell them you're only Facebook friends with family and close friends. That's what I've done when Facebook comes up and no one has ever seemed offended or hurt.

Exactly this. In fact, I know many of my colleagues have FB and often ask others to come over to their laptop to check out a new vacation album etc. But none of us have ever thought of adding each other. It's just understood.

Also:

1- You technically aren't allowed to have more than one account. FB has the right to shut down multiple accounts, especially if you don't use your correct name
2- I miss the days when FB was only for a select universities/colleges ::)
3- FB is for friends. LinkedIn is for work colleagues.

ETA: Edited for spelling errors. Right hand seems faster than left today!
 

VRBeauty

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suchende|1302477539|2892831 said:
Maybe it's my age (26) but I would feel uncomfortable turning down friend requests from colleagues. Besides, I knew the day my grandmother friended me, my days of posting albums from girls' nights out were over.

A lot of our newer/younger employees are friends on facebook. Some of us managers first learned about this when a workplace tiff spilled over into facebook and one of the protagonists de-friended the other. I wasn't using facebook much at that time, and I remember us managers looking at each other wondering what the...? Anyhow, that incident was part of my decision not to "friend" any colleagues, whether they're friends outside of work or not.
 

marcy

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IMO - No to all of the above. I find it very uncomfortable at times. One of my employees who is 180 degrees politically from me goes on massive tirades about politics on FB and I always wonder if he isn't trying to get a rise about of me. I don't venture in to real personal or opinions on FB.
 

iugurl

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I don't think it is "rude" to discuss politics. There is a difference between saying Oh no, Obama won! And Obama is a bleep bleep bleep and I can't believe he bleeping won. He will be the bleeping worst president ever. Or some variation, insert any political party or any particular person. :cheeky: The first I don't have a problem with, but the second I find very offensive. I think if the discussion is polite, then I don't find it rude.

I don't find religion rude either. Again, if politely discussed, I don't mind it. If one were to say I am right, everyone else is going to hell, etc etc. then I would find it offensive.

Money... well posting a picture of something new isn't really"discussing"' money. I don't mind an occasional - look what I got, depending on what it is. And an engagement ring? That is normally a GIFT, so technically they aren't discussing THEIR money. I do find it odd when people repeatedly talk/show pictures of about what they purchased. Do I find it rude? I don't know, probably. If it is done once or twice a year, then no. Once or twice a month - yes.

ETA: I don't personally discuss any of the above. While I don't find it rude exactly, I would personally be uncomfortable to post anything about politics, religion, or money.
 

megumic

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This is two threads in one -- politics on FB and being FB friends with colleagues.

I think politics on FB is fine. IFB is a place where everyone is free to express their thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions, etc. and I think if you don't like one or two political nuts on FB, block the person's newsfeed or don't be friends with them.

As for being friends with colleagues, I think you have to be careful with this one. I have a limited profile that I have for colleagues, and a more general one for friends.
 

suchende

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Maybe I'm too polite, but I don't discuss politics in real life with even moderately close friends, so I wouldn't post my views on FB either, even if I were only friends with, well, friends. Now, I think links are a bit different and might link to an article with a "slant" that I found interesting, but that's about the extent of it.
 

jstarfireb

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megumic|1302491248|2892994 said:
This is two threads in one -- politics on FB and being FB friends with colleagues.

I think politics on FB is fine. IFB is a place where everyone is free to express their thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions, etc. and I think if you don't like one or two political nuts on FB, block the person's newsfeed or don't be friends with them.

As for being friends with colleagues, I think you have to be careful with this one. I have a limited profile that I have for colleagues, and a more general one for friends.

Ditto this...I think FB is a place where anything goes. It's easy enough to block people if you don't want to hear from them. I actually have just one profile for everyone, but I have a limited number of colleagues/bosses and mostly personal friends on my f-list.
 

Guilty Pleasure

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Facebook is a place to express yourself. As long as it is within the limits of the law (no naked pictures or threats), it is acceptable to post whatever you want - political views, Bible verses, rants about the jerk who cut you off in traffic, pictures of your latest vacation, directions to the flash mob, etc. Facebook is undefined, so there are no real "rules" that can apply to every group on Facebook. I think political and religious discussions are very interesting and not at all offensive if they are carried out between intelligent people who can support their own opinions with facts. I find the public declarations of ego-stroking mildly irritating (everything from daily I love you's between spouses to overposting of pictures), but I can hide those people.

That being said, every web of people has their own culture of sorts, so it would certainly be wise to know one's audience. If your facebook web consists of mainly moms posting pictures of their new handmade baby clothes, maybe a cursing tirade about your last political rally isn't appropriate. Just as in real life, people make judgements of you based on the things you say (or type), so choose your words carefully.

I do not think it is wise to be facebook friends with co-workers because even if you are not the sort to post inappropriate or personal details or you live a "boring" life and don't care if they see, there is such potential drama with facebook that I would rather remain ignorant if something is going on in the office. I don't want to know if two coworkers are having an affair or someone got too drunk at the happy hour last week! However, every web of people has its own culture, so it may not be possible to refrain from joining. Nobody wants to be the lone zebra on the plain.
 

chemgirl

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I think political discussion on facebook can work if its done correctly. For example, I would have no issue with somebody posting election dates, cheering on their preferred politician, or linking campaign videos.

On the other hand, I think politics are often presented in a negative way and some seem to almost bully others in to agreeing with their views. I don't think your political opinion should ever be posted on somebody else's page. I also don't agree with posting obviously offensive or graphic video. It seems like this is the issue here.

Not exactly political, but DH self defines himself as a vegetarian. He eats fish, so he doesn't fit the classic definition. He has a few activist friends on his facebook who didn't take kindly to pictures from our last fishing trip. He had something like 40 messages and graphic videos of whale killings and things like that (we caught a couple snapper and didn't post any dead fish pictures). He found it really upsetting and I would consider it cyber bullying. Most of the messages were from people who I would have previously had nothing but praise for. Some people lose their filter online and say things they would never say to your face. Unfortunately, the classic definitions of polite and rude go out the window when it comes to facebook.

I feel that its rude to impose your beliefs on somebody else, be it on facebook or in real life. So in that sense, political messages that are designed to provoke would be rude imho.
 

janinegirly

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Not rude at all to discuss potitics on FB - people feel free to discuss all kinds of other ridiculous things (way too much TMI, or writing loveletters to their wives :rolleyes:), so why not? There're not a lot of faux pas in my opinion in that forum since it's so informal and openended.

But if you asking about discussing politics among co-workers, I'd say this is not adviseable - better to keep personal opinions personal. But then I would never have a colleague as a FB friend - in fact we are blocked at work and advised that there is no 100% privacy in the public domain so be careful how you use social media,etc.
 

princesss

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Is it only my friends list that has really fascinating political debates? I love seeing the conversations that happen on my friends' pages about politics - I end up learning so much (gotta love friends that cite their sources!). I tend to not post too much about politics or religion, but if I do my general attitude is that if you know me, you know where I stand on certain issues. I love a good, spirited debate but since I'm generally a "feeler" rather than a "thinker" I rarely have the facts to back me up, so it's generally more that I love watching other people debate!

As far as being FB friends with coworkers, I am friends with several of my coworkers and one of my managers (as well as 2 ex-managers that are now in different groups). I don't post anything too ridiculous (I'm in the "my grandmother is my FB friend group" along with suchende), and generally only add people that I have a good rapport with. The thing is, especially for the younger crowd in my office/company, it's become a networking tool - it's another way of keeping my relationships with my network alive and well and gives us a sense of friendship and closeness that we'd otherwise lack (since my company has offices all over the world, people who want to move up in the company spread out pretty quickly), which is great when you're putting your feelers out. It also lets me know who is where, so if I have a business trip to our head office or a port, I have a quick way to see who is there to suggest going out for drinks after work one day.
 

Cehrabehra

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Haven|1302478888|2892844 said:
ANYWAY, I find this discussion very interesting. I had a disagreement with a colleague not too long ago about whether Facebook brings us closer to people with whom we wouldn't otherwise be close. I think not, she disagrees.

I mostly disagree with you haven, though I will say first that each of us create unique environments for ourselves on FB so milage can definitely vary. I have a friend who are entertainers who let everything hang out for the world to see. They need to be exposed for self promotion. And then there's you. And between are not only different shades of grey, but different textures as well.

I am an extremely sentimental sort and have been contacted by and contacted people I was friends with going back to elementary school. People I hadn't talked to in 20 years. You better believe that without fb we wouldn't otherwise be close, but here we are, reconnected, sharing pictures of our kids and amazing on what has changed - and remarkably what hasn't! I tend to have a bit of a strong desire to remain connected to people throughout my life. It is my living history. My first babysitter is my stepmother and my second babysitter is my mother in law. My mother and her best friend met at 2 and 3 and died a year apart 52 years later. They had years they didn't speak because their lives had pulled them in different directions... and yet they found one another again and were as close as ever when they got sick. My first friend from kindergarten is my sister in law, I hadn't seen her family for 8 years when we reconnected and a few years later I married her little brother. Reconnecting with old friends is part of who I am, it's part of what makes me tick.

It also is what creeps some people out.

You can't throw a blanket statement on its usage. I agree with you that you can create it (and you probably have) to not bring you close to people you wouldn't already normally be close with, but for me it has been a godsend, especially while I'm living overseas. Some friends here in china with me were discussing FB at lunch and how we almost don't ever talk to anyone who ISN'T on FB anymore. We are so isolated here and our lives are made simpler through streamlining.

On another note, I do have a handful of people that make me hold back what I wanted to say (one aunt in particular) but most of the time I say F it - if they don't like it they can go. As much as I want to pull everyone I care about close to me, i don't really want to have anyone who doesn't like ME or accept ME near me either. I do have some more casual connections and they tend to make me a little... undecided. Nothing that concerns me, just... I dunno, sometimes I feel like I have voyeurs.

Oh, and only ONE person is blocked for political statements. I just got to the point I couldn't stand it anymore. We are SO diametrically opposed on every issue and I'm just not that tolerant. She thinks I'm politically dumb and I think she's politically stupid. We met through our kids and there are aspects of the relationship I enjoy but I can't read her in my feed. There are a couple others who I block because they're whiney or boring but for the most part I just skim and block every farmvillesque request that hits my feed.

One more thing - to the OP: I don't think anyone can say that anything is RUDE like it is an unwritten rule... everyone is different. I just talk about whatever I want. I don't put much about jewelry up there because it isn't a very big facet (pun!) of my life away from you guys. I mean, I love it but I turn to you guys for it - most people find it boring at best and bragging at worst...
 

Haven

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Suchende--Please accept my apologies for the threadjack that follows. Cehra wrote a really wonderful post, and I'd really like to respond to it.

Cehra--Your post is really touching. It is so heartwarming to hear about how important your connections are to you. I actually wish I could be more like you, and your post is definitely giving me pause to reflect on how I personally view connections with people I care about. I think your loved ones are lucky to have you in their lives.

I agree with you that each person carves out their own environment on FB, and we can use it to very different ends. My original response (which I will now take some time to review in light of your lovely post) in the discussion I referenced was this:

I personally do not feel closer to people when we share information with each other via a semi-public such as FB. I feel closer to people when I spend time interacting with them in person, or one-on-one via email or on the phone, and most of all, I feel closer to others after experiencing things with them. What I mean by that last point is that I feel I learn the most about who others *truly* are when we spend time together because we benefit from seeing our authentic reactions to unscripted, real-life situations. It is during these times when I feel I get to really know others, because I am seeing the unvarnished truth about who they are.

This is not to say that I believe people are faking things on FB or at work, but for me it is only when I spend time with others and have real discussions with them, and see how they react to real situations that I feel like I really know them. My reason for believing FB does not bring you closer with others is that we craft a persona for ourselves on FB, we are in control of what we share and what we keep to ourselves. We post only certain photos, only certain comments, and only certain information. In the real world, our reactions to things (such as a waiter in a restaurant, or a homeless man on the sidewalk, or an uncomfortable revelation during a conversation) are far more telling about who we are than the things we choose to share on a semi-public website. At least, that's what I've thought all this time.

But, I also know I don't often get close to people, and Cehra, I think your post has helped me realize one reason for that. Perhaps it really does not take what I *think* it takes to get close. I am fiercely loyal to those with whom I am close, and I tend to keep close friendships for life, thus far at least. But I do want to be more open to new people, and I think I just had a breakthrough. :cheeky:
 

suchende

Brilliant_Rock
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I don't mind the threadjack :) I really appreciate that Facebook has kept me in contact with people I would forget about otherwise. I live in Chicago, and FB lets me know who among my HS and undergrad classmates are here too. I just had lunch with a guy I went to HS with last week. Before Facebook, we may have never seen each other again. Are we going to be best friends now? Probably not. But I still appreciate the depth and breadth of people FB lets me stay in touch with (he's a musician who waits tables to pay the rent, I'm otherwise surrounded by law students and lawyers).
 

princesss

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I think Cehra hit on something big for me - as an expat brat, my friends are scattered all over the world. I've had a chance to connect with friends from 12 years and 3 countires ago, which is a chance I never would have had before. Often I just can't afford to stay close to my friends the way other people do - my closest friends are scattered around the world, and I'm not much of a phone person anymore (funny what 18 months in a call center wil do). FB keeps everybody in one spot, and it's wonderful!
 

zoebartlett

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I'm rarely on FB because I don't want it to become my main way of staying in contact with friends and family. I prefer phone/text and e-mail. I like checking FB a few times a week, but I don't post updates too often.

Regarding the original question: I respect others' wishes if they prefer not to discuss religion or politics, but I actually like talking about these things. It doesn't bother me if these things are discussed on FB.
 

Cehrabehra

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Wow Haven :) Thank you... I wanted to say also that the part where you feel like you get closer when you can spend physical time with people - well that is a given, even for me. The times I spend out with my friends say at the party we went to on saturday - it bonds us pretty tight and the memories are far more concrete because they happen in real time. But I cannot have that with everyone, especially while I am so far away from most, so I'll take what I can get. Not to mention, recapping and sharing stories about a party we just went to with friends allows for people who were maybe outside in certain moments to get a bigger scope of what was experienced - it's just fun to relive the good times, share pictures, reaffirm. FB is the closest thing I can get to most of the people in my life right now. It lets me merge all of the parts of my life into one unified authentic me. I don't think that is one size fits all though...

There's this thing you can do on FB that has to do with lists that can help you filter information to different groups in your life but I haven't figured it out yet... LTP is a pro at it if I recall correctly...
 
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