if you were getting a divorce ...

[PilsnPinkysMom]

will you fight for pet custody?
a few years ago there was this couple in our koi club fighting over koi custody.

Yes.

But Koi are not pets. They're fish.

but what if they had spent $40k and can sell them for $20k-$23k?..

are Koi that expensive?????

Apparently one koi can cost up to a million bucks. . . http://www.dailymail.co.uk/money/article-1208653/Koi-carp.html

And a dog can cost 1.5 million I like to think my Zoey is priceless, but if I had to sell her, I'd be lucky to get $50

 

[MishB]

We have 2 cats, both from shelters, one picked my husband, the other picked me. So I think custody would be fairly simple, and they don't particularly like each other so there would be no separation issues.

Previously, the worst break up I ever had (a 2 year live-in relationship) he had become very fond of my cat. I think the thought of never seeing my cat again hurt him much more than never seeing me again. He was being quite nasty during the move-out process so I took the cat to my parents without telling him, he was devastated that he didn't get to say goodbye to her. So there, take that.

 

[yssie]

Pils - that is an adorable creature


We've decided that I get one of the cats, he gets two. If it was up to me I'd take them all, but our ex-stray Mina obviously prefers me and our other girl Greta just dotes on DH, and we wouldn't want to split Greta and her brother Garet up.

Oh, and he gets the goldfish, too. Garet likes to watch them. I'm okay with that.


Deb - ::HUG::!

 

[cnspotts]

This happened to me when exH & I divorced. He legally "stole" my horse, one he wanted nothing to do with ( I also purchased and supported fully on my own) via the orginal owner by getting the brand inspection put into his name during our divorce. I turned right around and" kid napped" his prized hunting dog, dropped her at a random vet to have her "fixed" unless he signed over the horse's papers to me immediately. I won in the end, his dog turned out to be a dud and useless as a hunter. The horse was meant to be our daughter's, I had one of my own as well. The judge made him pay half the horse's upkeep after that.

 

[manderz]

We're not married yet, but we've been together for over 8 years, and living together for just shy of 8. My parrot stays with me, FI hates it, and there's no way I'd get rid of him. My saltwater fish tank will always be mine, as he has no idea how to care for it. As for the cat, I really don't know what would happen. We've never discussed, and I think it would be pretty complicated to figure it out. We both love him to pieces. We both care for him, nearly equally. Fat Cat was a Christmas gift for FI, from me, the year we were in our own house. I think that we would probably fight about it. We both love him so much. But, I love out little family so much, I never want to break it up. We really treat Fat Cat as if he was our little boy. He's super-spoiled.

 

[zoebartlett]

It wouldn't happen with us, because DH knows the dogs live for me... But if he did?? Oh I would so win custody, he's never even taken them to the vet!!!

I thought it went without saying that no husband had ever been to a vet!

Deb

Uh, mine does. We take our two cats to the vet together, even if it's just for a check up. Now, cleaning the house on a regular basis without prompting, that's a different story.

 

[bee*]

No fight here because there is no question that I would get them

Same here. There is not a chance that I would allow DH to take my two babies away from me. I know that there would be no discussion about Amber as she's been mine since before DH and I met but I could see him wanting Manolo. Not a chance though.

 

[JewelFreak]

I thought it went without saying that no husband had ever been to a vet!

Deb

I don't think mine even knows how to get there! If I had to steal away with them in the night, I'd take the cats & dogs. But there wouldn't be an argument -- as you say, pets are work.

I'm sorry about the divorce, Deb. 34 yrs is a long time -- we'll have our 34th anniversary this year & there have been many times when I thought seriously about that myself; probably will be many more. It's hell for you, though -- the transition. The afterward will feel light & free.

DancingFire -- what GORGEOUS koi. Beautiful beautiful. The prices are to gasp!

--- Laurie

 

[Jennifer W]

If something had gone so catastrophically wrong that we were divorcing, then no, I wouldn't be fighting for custody of a pet. I couldn't stay in the house we lived in together under those circumstances, and I don't think DH will ever leave it, so I'd likely be living somewhere else. I'd leave the cat and dog with him because they're both elderly and it's been their home for many years. The dog is starting to have some sight problems, and knows her way around there. He's as capable of caring for them as I am, and they both like him fine, so no reason for me to turn their worlds upside down.

 

[somethingshiny]

If we're getting a divorce, there's a lot more to worry about than fighting over a pet. Livestock, however, I'd fight for my half of the money that would be made during that year. If it was horses, I'd either expect (rather than fight) to keep my horse or expect to be bought out.


If you have kids who are older, I think the pet kinda automatically goes wherever the kid is anyway. I'd hope Dad isn't going to fight for Fido when Billy is living with Mom.

 

[Black Jade]

If I were getting a divorce, God forbid, I would have a lot of other things to worry about. I would try to avoid fighting over anything to make it easier on the kids. I am a child of divorce and if people HAVE to get divorced, they should stay amicable and compromise as much as possible, it's such a horrible thing in so many ways not just for the couple but for everyone involved, especially kids.

 

[Ninna]

No, he can have them..... I'll keep the rest.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Bump..

 

[Bron357]

I definitely get Arya (see left) my husband would make sure of that.
Arya is a Saluki and even on a good day she’s still like a toddler on red cordial and no sleep for a week!

 

[Lorelei]

It would be relatively straightforward.

 

[dk168]

No, as I would rather walk away without feeling bitter, angry and bruised and waste my money.
I would be upset for losing the pet(s), of course, however I can get replacements in a short time.
Many years ago, my ex-hubby's cousin and her husband spent thousands fighting over the custody of their dog, and had to look to her father to help out with the legal cost, as legal fees are up their house.
So sad.
I was very lucky in that my ex-hubby was very generous - he let me take whatever I wanted, and said if he could not make me happy, he would gladly step aside for someone who could. Bless him.
One of my few regrets is for hurting him when I left him for my late partner.
DK

 

[MarionC]

You've given me a great idea. Now I plan to get married, get divorced, and let my husband have custody of the 3 dogs, 3 horses, cat, parrot and chickens. Yay to freedom!

 

[doberman]

Having spent my adolescence enduring my parents miserable protracted divorce, I will not consider divorce. Murder yes, divorce no.

As to the question of pet ownership, I'd get the dog and cat but my husband would be broken-heated. He loves that cat.

 

[Babyblue033]

I would give him the dog and the kids! He would be stuck with them forever, and I would be free as a bird.

Luv2sparkle has the right idea

 

[missy]

You've given me a great idea. Now I plan to get married, get divorced, and let my husband have custody of the 3 dogs, 3 horses, cat, parrot and chickens. Yay to freedom!

In all seriousness I'd give him custody of psycho kitty Bobby (sorry Bobby!) and keep Tommy, Francesca and Fred.
I mean Bobby is psycho kitty and well that way he can get all the attention he needs being an only child.


Oh and I would definitely take everything else we owned except the bills which he would have to continue paying.

 

[missy]

Having spent my adolescence enduring my parents miserable protracted divorce, I will not consider divorce. Murder yes, divorce no.

As to the question of pet ownership, I'd get the dog and cat but my husband would be broken-heated. He loves that cat.

Awww what beautiful babies!!!!

And hahaha yes murder of the spouse might be the preferable option depending on why one was divorcing.

 

[Austina]

We would share custody of our girl, he can have her on all the rainy days when she gets soaking wet

 

[partgypsy]

I'm going through this right now, but the opposite. We adopted a dog about 10 years ago. Within a week of adopting, I was having 2nd thoughts because his behavior was pretty out of control, and it quickly became evident since his "crazy times" was in the evening, the vast majority of the burden was going to fall on me, because my ex was out of the house pretty much every evening (work, hobbies or friends), and I would be home by myself with 2 small children. I decided to keep trying. 6 months later it is NOT working. I'm at the end of my rope, having all the burden and no support, saying we need to re-home. His response: rather than listening, gets angry and says he's going to sleep on the couch till I give in. I have a good cry and give in. 8 years later, ex leaves. Since he has left, he hasn't taken the dog overnight a single time, because the place(s) where he lives "doesn't allow dogs". I'm the only one paying for the food and doing the caring for both of our elderly pets. Dog in addition to behavioral issues, is having accidents on a weekly basis. He says I can't make any independent decisions about him because it's "his too". But like our marriage, refuses to take on responsibility. To be clear, I'm not mad at our dog. It's not his fault. He had doggie ptsd, and now has geriatric issues. I'm most likely too much of a softy to give to a kill shelter, but it's been really hard.

 

[missy]

I'm going through this right now, but the opposite. We adopted a dog about 10 years ago. Within a week of adopting, I was having 2nd thoughts because his behavior was pretty out of control, and it quickly became evident since his "crazy times" was in the evening, the vast majority of the burden was going to fall on me, because my ex was out of the house pretty much every evening (work, hobbies or friends), and I would be home by myself with 2 small children. I decided to keep trying. 6 months later it is NOT working. I'm at the end of my rope, having all the burden and no support, saying we need to re-home. His response: rather than listening, gets angry and says he's going to sleep on the couch till I give in. I have a good cry and give in. 8 years later, ex leaves. Since he has left, he hasn't taken the dog overnight a single time, because the place(s) where he lives "doesn't allow dogs". I'm the only one paying for the food and doing the caring for both of our elderly pets. Dog in addition to behavioral issues, is having accidents on a weekly basis. He says I can't make any independent decisions about him because it's "his too". But like our marriage, refuses to take on responsibility. To be clear, I'm not mad at our dog. It's not his fault. He had trauma, and now has geriatric issues.

Partgypsy I’m so sorry. That sucks. You are dealing with so much and it’s unconscionable how your ex is behaving. I feel for you and your kids and your dog. All are so lucky to have you and I hope you have a good support network. Sending good thoughts and (((Hugs))) your way.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Luv2sparkle has the right idea

Even though this is a super old thread, I feel compelled to add that I was joking. I hate it when you read something that you wrote and sounds so callused and unfeeling. I didn't go back and read the whole thing but reading what I wrote made me cringe......

 

[missy]

Even though this is a super old thread, I feel compelled to add that I was joking. I hate it when you read something that you wrote and sounds so callused and unfeeling. I didn't go back and read the whole thing but reading what I wrote made me cringe......

Aww luv I don't think anyone took what you wrote seriously...more tongue and cheek for sure. I think that is clear. You definitely did not sound unfeeling or callous! (((Hugs))).

Just like what I wrote about giving Bobby to my dh. No way. Just kidding. He might be a pain but he's my pain if you kwim.

 

[Puppmom]

No - I love my dog but he is partial to my husband and I think he would be happier with him. That said, I’d be happy to have him if my husband couldn’t or didn’t want to.

A friend of mine was divorced recently and neither she nor her ex could find a pet friendly rental. Her ex in-laws offered to take the dog. My friend paid for all vet needs. Her ex allowed that without personally giving his parents a thing. They ultimately decided they’d like to keep the dog bc they and their other dog were attached. At that time, they told my friend no need to cover any expenses.

 

[AGBF]

I thought this was a new thread, one started while Dancing Fire was bored a few days ago. I started to read it at the beginning and a few postings down I saw that I had already written a response to the thread...in 2011! Of course it was totally inaccurate. It said I was getting a divorce after 34 years. (At the time I had posted my husband and I had both retained attorneys.) But we are still married after 41 years, although most of the time we live in different states. We have no dogs at the moment, though, since Griffin (my Newfie) passed away last year. It is so strange to see for how long I have been posting here. And 2011 was already years into my time here!

Deb

 

[partgypsy]

Thanks Missy

 

[lovedogs]

This was something I thought about a lot, since I got "my" maltese about 2 weeks into my now DH and I dating. I had planned to get a maltese for years, so it was important to me that he understood that she was "mine" in case of us breaking up. As for the dog we got together, that would be an open question. DH has told me that he would probably let me have both dogs, because they love each other and the maltese would 100% go with me. But I hope that it never comes to that!