I Need Help/Advice

[minousbijoux]

So I am seeking the collective wisdom of the long time gem buyers - actually, advice from anyone who knows how to pace themselves and save up for a goal.

Every month, I spend roughly $X on gems. It is primarily spent on spontaneous purchases; I'll see something I think is a good price, or is too pretty to pass up, whether I need it, planned on it, or not. At the same time, I see collector stones for say $10X-20X that I would love to have, but I can't justify the expense. So I say to myself, "okay, for the next 10 months, I won't buy anything, and I'll put the money aside. And then the next gem catches my eye, and well, I guess you know the rest of the story

Ideas, Please? I would love to hear how others have managed to set aside for the bigger purchases without guilt and/or succumbing to temptation along the way.

TIA

 

[Pandora II]

First of all, do you set your stones or keep them loose?

I think it's possibly harder to walk past something if you want to wear it!

I often see stones that I think are nice and momentarily lust after but I try to decide at the beginning of the year what spaces I have in my collection and what I most want to add that year. Then I fix on that. Often I don't find the right stone at all.

It's a bit like giving up smoking, you just get past each moment of craving as it comes...

 

[Treenbean]

I know how you feel. I usually buy pairs or commission pairs because I la la love earrings and usually only wear my E-ring. But I have found myself purchasing "that cute little sleepy spinel single". I have saved and bought a more significant purchase of a blue Roger Dery cushion spinel, and some other singles.
Alas my gem box is full, so I will dedicate the majority of gem money this year to setting.
I don't know how you feel but I seem to try to focus on one thing but get tempted by color and cut and whether it is impossible to pass up. I blame my love of antique jewelry and desire to collect "something".

 

[LD]

Love the analogy of giving up smoking - that's actually right on the mark!!!

Buying gemstones is addictive and it's difficult to walk away. Do I save up for the bigger purchases? Sometimes but it's got to be something that I HAVE to have. No question. Then because the pull is so great I can stop buying other items (or at least limit myself to small things).

Actually, more worryingly, I'm wondering if you ever get to saturation level? I'm now at the point where I honestly shouldn't buy anything and should complete the hundreds of projects that are lined up but ......................!

That probably hasn't helped in the slightest but I guess the answer is, if you can stop and save up then do! If you can't, well, just enjoy yourself.

 

[ooo~Shiney!]

So I am seeking the collective wisdom of the long time gem buyers - actually, advice from anyone who knows how to pace themselves and save up for a goal.

Every month, I spend roughly $X on gems. It is primarily spent on spontaneous purchases; I'll see something I think is a good price, or is too pretty to pass up, whether I need it, planned on it, or not. At the same time, I see collector stones for say $10X-20X that I would love to have, but I can't justify the expense. So I say to myself, "okay, for the next 10 months, I won't buy anything, and I'll put the money aside. And then the next gem catches my eye, and well, I guess you know the rest of the story

Ideas, Please? I would love to hear how others have managed to set aside for the bigger purchases without guilt and/or succumbing to temptation along the way.

TIA

Oh, I can relate 100% to what you are saying !!!!!
At this point, I really want (no, REALLY WANT !!!!!) a couple of certain somethings.....
Yet, I still pull the trigger on less expensive (but pretty!) gems ~ I think I am
addicted to getting things in the mail !!!!!!
And I am so very happy with my little collection
I have a little bit saved up, but it's HARD TO DO !!!
Plus, in buying random pretty gems, I am deciding what it is that
I really love.

I know myself.....
I really like have lots of pretty little somethings, than one or two awesome somethings...
But I am trying to change.

 

[missy]

Totally relate to this problem. I find what works at least somewhat for me is if I do see an amazing but expensive piece I buy it. And then I say I cannot buy anything for x number of months so it won't turn out to be more money than I normally spend on jewelry. If that makes sense. For example if I see a gorgeous pair of earrings but they are 4x what I would normally spend I just tell my dh not to buy me anything for 4 occasions (bday, anniversary, xmas/hanukkah and valentine's day) as that is my gift for all of those occasions. It usually works as I am good at staying within our budget at the time. And I enjoy looking at jewelry in the meantime but I hold steady till all 4 occasions have passed. Sometimes it works in reverse too. I have held off purchasing any jewelry in the last year (starting August 2010) because I haven't fallen in love with anything but when I do I can easily purchase it because I have not given in to smaller temptations (though it was difficult). Each time I saw a smaller piece I really liked I said to myself is it worth sacrificing the dream earrings I am looking/hoping for? And so far the answer has been the same- nope. So I am still looking

Good luck! It is hard to hold out especially when there are so many dreamy pieces of jewelry but I prefer quality over quantity these days. Nothing wrong with either though as it all comes down to personal preference at the time and I reserve the right to change my mind at any time

 

[T L]

Well, I'm probably the last person who should talk on this thread to the OP as I have bought a lot lately. However, I will say this, I do an awful lot of "disabling" in my head, like the following things come up in my mind.

"it's probably photoshopped or the color is enhanced somehow"
"It has a window"
"it's too small"
"I have x number of that color already"
"it's probably treated"

I think ebay is my worst glitch, as there are a small few sellers on there that I trust, but they have amazing gems, with natural color, for very good pricing, and excellent return policies, and they offer lab memos. If ebay went away, I would probably be fine. I will say that I am setting a lot of gems right now, and doing multiple stone rings, to save on setting, and to get all those gems wearable. I hate when something beautiful just sits in a box.

 

[faegrace]

MB ~

I am new to the world of colored gems and even I find its potential for addiction rivals that of the best (or worst depending how you look at it). I think it is particularly difficult because in the world of purchasing gems that have been dropped on a site, it is likely if you don't purchase something you love on the spot, it will be gone. In other words, it is a rare thing when you can actually go back to it after time has passed in an effort to see if you still want it, it's worth it, etc.

I feel for you, MB, or with you. I may be fortunate in that I always seem to be late to the game and not nab gems I lust after.., or simply cannot afford what makes my heart sing, no matter how long I would save up (had that experience with a RW sapphire last week).

Good luck!

 

[lavatea]

*sigh* I so have this problem. It's compounded by the fact that I have an extremely small budget, and occasions where I get any money at all as a gift are few and far between.

What I do: #1, I try to not shop at all. #2, I bookmark the links and save pictures of the gems that I really want and then I visit them a lot on my computer. I find that as I visit them, often quite a few get dropped out of the running. (This takes the impulse buying out of it. I'm like this at Target, too. I load up my cart, walk around for a while, and usually end up putting most stuff, if not everything, back.) #3, I focus on the two little projects I'm working on right now and bug the vendors. That keeps my brain somewhat occupied. Unfortunately, both of these projects should be completed within the next 2-3 months (if my tax refund ever gets here). #4, I make endless lists of future projects I want to work on. I try to plan all of the little details. Sometimes those projects get so detailed that finding the right stones will eventually take up quite a bit of my time so this will help later on when I'm getting the itch. I've found it so much harder to find a stone to fit a project than to make a project to fit a stone. So if I have a bunch of fantasy projects lined up, chances are I won't find stones to fit them but will spend time shopping, thus saving my budget and filling my time.

 

[minousbijoux]

Wow, you all have extremely helpful responses - thank you so much.

It really is a complicated thing for all of us. Some do it to collect stones, probably not likely to set most of them. Some buy to collect a few but mainly in order to create jewelry (I would say the majority of members here), and some have a specific purpose, like an engagement ring.

I guess it gets to why do I buy? Ooo-Shiney, I can totally relate: a week without something in the mailbox is a sad week indeed. Treenbean, the problem with "that cute little sleepy spinel" is that it shows up often in the form of "that cute little tsav, that cute little cuprian, that cute little,..." And when they arrive (yippee! something in the mailbox!), they are mostly truely lovely...then they go in the gem box. LD said it well about saturation - why do I need more of these when I have enough already? What I don't have, is the collector stones that I really covet, one of which would probably take me a year to save up for.

I don't know, perhaps its easier if you have a specific piece of jewelry in mind, and I love Missy's idea of counting special occasions into the future - sort of like a loan from future gifts.

One thing I have noticed is how much I love the stones and rings of TL's, and had figured out that it was the size of the stones that set them apart. So I appreciate your words TL of disabling. That means that I don't need to jump on that 1.+ ct spinel even though it has great color - unless I know exactly what to use it for. Thanks - you've probably already saved me several hundred dollars in ebay bids today alone.

I think it is particularly difficult because in the world of purchasing gems that have been dropped on a site, it is likely if you don't purchase something you love on the spot, it will be gone. In other words, it is a rare thing when you can actually go back to it after time has passed in an effort to see if you still want it, it's worth it, etc.

This definitely part of it, and Faegrace, as you say, getting caught up in the action of trying to get something from the latest Gene/Barry/Gem Trader drop. (Like you, Faegrace, I'm typically too late to the party, but if I wasn't, Mine, Mine, Mine!)

So, like Lavatea, I think I may not shop at all. I'll bookmark sites, and visit the gems and maybe even save up to purchase them. Excellent plan! I'll start tomorrow

 

[Arcadian]

I liken impulse buying to an itch that needs to be scratched. a impulse buy only halts the scratch temporarily, but that itch comes back stronger than ever after a while. So here's what I do;

• Have a set criteria. In other words start making lists and really research the cost/ct that you will need to save in order to get that stone.
  
  Know that sometimes you have to bypass something that may be fleetingly pretty to get what YOU really want.
• Be color/cut critical. That has killed a lot of would be stone purchases for me. unconventional but I do use pantone colors. I have the damn sets, I may as well use them.
  
• A gem budget, create one, stick to it. I no longer bust the budget wide open just to get a stone. I stick to a budget for pretty much everything else in my life except in emergency situations, this is no different to me. I don't constitute gem buying as an emergency either..lol

Some sellers offer gem layaway for more expensive stones. I don't do this often, at max 1 time a year and only if they're above a certain amount AND on my list. This keeps me from buying stones I would otherwise just waste money on.


-A

 

[T L]

What's really hard are those stones you keep coming back too, and they haven't sold yet, and they call your name, like some incredibly hunky guy with dark wavy hair (oh I digress. . . . ). You just can't get them out of your head, and no matter what disabling you do, they call you . . . .

Oh I should stay out of this thread, I'm no help, am I?

 

[Atwater]

I am more of a "plan and follow the plan" kind of person, with some room for spontaneous adventures. Inspired by the collection list posted by Ed (of Wildfish), I now also have a list of stones that I would like to have and set budget for each of them. But I guess one will need to get some feel of what appeals to her (or suits her if they are intended to be worn)and what does not. For example, I love orange spessartite but it turns out looking horrible on my skin. I now simply allow myself to drool over this fantastic gem without being attempted to buy it. That probably also excludes me from being a collector

 

[FrekeChild]

I have a must have list. I think it's posted around here somewhere. It has changed and evolved over time, but a few basic things have stayed the same. Right now I'm on a setting jag and unless its something I don't think I can get anywhere else ever again, a really good deal or it makes my heart skip a beat, I hold out. I think that having that list has helped me from buying a bunch of things that make me go "WOW!" at first and then "Meh..." later.

I've also been trying to stick to projects lately and grabbing things if they are a perfect fit.

Having said all of that I know of two perfect settings that are very costly custom projects and I haven't been able to save up yet. I'd rather get the cheaper projects out of the way first!

 

[chrono]

Sounds like you have a sound plan but keep getting sidetracked. What you need is the determination to stick to it so you ask yourself these questions:
1. Do I really need it? Why this one over that long term goal?
2. Is it something you will set and wear or just keep it tucked away indefinitely?
3. Find something or as many things you don’t like about it to disable yourself (cut issues, colour issues, etc)
4. Find a friend or friends who will help disable you when the first 3 questions aren’t cutting it.