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Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alternative

soocool

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

swimmer|1296064841|2833677 said:


Thanks swimmer, I enjoyed reading that.

I have my "scrapbook" which I am converting into book form for me. I have newspaper clipping, written notes, etc. that I am now scanning into the computer and writing "my story" something that I can read over and over as my scrapbook is deteriorating from years of thumbing through the pages.
 

Matata

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I turned 56 today and sure enough, found more wrinkles & saggy places. Oh well. Tonight we're eating at a snooty French restaurant so I can literally drown my sags & wrinkles in fine food, wine & dessert. Escargot with tons of butter & garleeeeeek for the appetizer. Yummmm.
 

soocool

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Matata|1296348483|2836895 said:
I turned 56 today and sure enough, found more wrinkles & saggy places. Oh well. Tonight we're eating at a snooty French restaurant so I can literally drown my sags & wrinkles in fine food, wine & dessert. Escargot with tons of butter & garleeeeeek for the appetizer. Yummmm.

Matata, Happy belated birthday. Hope you wined and dined the evening away in celebration! I sometimes wish we can get a second chance at being young again so the second time we would appreciate it more.
 

soocool

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

OK, so I bought my new vac last Saturday. It's the Miele Polaris. I would have posted this in HO, but I already had asked the questioned there when I was looking and the youngsters on there may think this old chick just fell off her rocker talking about vacuum cleaners again.

But when you get older it is the simple pleasures that make you happy. And carrying this vac without wrenching my back makes me sooo very happy. I vacuumed practically the entire house today, used it to dust the furniture, cleaned out the heating vents ( including the returns), lampshades, picture frames, electronics, keyboards, drapes, doors. Then I had lunch and took a nap. See right there I had my aerobic workout for the day. Yes, I am so pleased with myself.

Not too much else to do when the weather sucks. Can't find anyone to go shopping with me. Everyone is playing catchup with errands and housecleaning because of all this horrible weather we have been getting.
 

junebug17

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Matata, happy belated birthday to you! Hope you had a wonderful time drowning your sorrows in good food and drink!

Socool, your new vacuum sounds awesome. Anything that makes cleaning a little more tolerable is a treasure.

I supposed I'm hanging in there...my dog died a month ago, (had to put him down due to cancer) and honestly, I'm still struggling with it. I cant seem to get over it. I miss him so much. I have a short video of him on my phone and I watch it every day. I hold the phone up close to my face so I can capture every detail of him. Part of me feels so silly about this. The rational part of me says "Ok Junebug, get a grip here, he was just a dog, time to get over this" but emotionally I just can't do it. I still expect to see him sauntering into the room. He was with me all the time. He was just always here.

Ugh, I feel so dumb about this, so many people are struggling with so much more, but it still feels kind of good to let it out. Thanks for letting me do that.
 

gemgirl

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

You can always let it out here junebug. Don't feel silly about looking at a video of your dog while you're grieving. You need time to adjust to the loss and it doesn't happen over night. I'm so sorry you've lost your furbaby.
 

junebug17

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

gemgirl|1297810145|2852689 said:
You can always let it out here junebug. Don't feel silly about looking at a video of your dog while you're grieving. You need time to adjust to the loss and it doesn't happen over night. I'm so sorry you've lost your furbaby.

Ah, thank you so much gemgirl - I appreciate you taking the time to offer such comforting words to me. It helps.
 

ksinger

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well, I AM actually a pretty private person, but in here (where I suspect very few come, although I could be wrong) I will tell you all, it has been a bit of week, to say the least.

My father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly last night. They think from a blood clot, because he was in no imminent danger, so the doctors thought. (He was in the hospital for heart arrhythmia and some intestinal problems, which appeared to be getting under control and on the mend, when he just...died.

My relationship with my father was strained and I really WON'T go into that here, but still, I did not hate him and this has been a shock. Death is SO utterly final, and I have been attending/invited to entirely too many funerals lately.

My concentration is pretty shot....

Just thought I'd tell you guys, since you are more likely to understand than most.

Hubs has been great, as usual. What would I do without my beautiful man? I don't even want to think about that.

OH...ETA...sorry for not checking in for awhile. I just felt avoid-y for some reason. And yet here I come looking for company. Bad me. :nono:
 

HollyS

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Karen, I'm so very sorry about your dad. My own father passed away in August, and it was a sudden shock as well. My heart goes out to you.

I wish you didn't believe that death is so very final; but I won't foist my beliefs on you. I hope you won't mind if I keep you in my prayers anyway.
 

junebug17

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Oh Karen, I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. I lost mine 18 years ago, and even though we weren't that close, it was still very sad. He was still my father, after all. So I can empathize with how you feel, just a little. I really am sorry, you must be shocked since this occurred so suddenly. You will be in my thoughts. Please check in whenever you need a little moral support. Please take care of yourself, and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to. It is so difficult and life-altering to lose a parent, even if the relationship wasn't perfect. Sending hugs your way.
 

ksinger

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

HollyS|1298083808|2855184 said:
Karen, I'm so very sorry about your dad. My own father passed away in August, and it was a sudden shock as well. My heart goes out to you.

I wish you didn't believe that death is so very final; but I won't foist my beliefs on you. I hope you won't mind if I keep you in my prayers anyway.

Thanks Holly. I appreciate the thoughts and prayers.

I don't know if death is final or not, but it is certainly final from the perspective of any more chances for interactions in this life, that's for certain. I know that there are others in the family grieving far more than I, and I envy them that grief, in a way. I was not privvy to the best of my father. I'm glad someone was though, and that he will be properly mourned. My grief over our relationship is very old. In some ways I did the grieving of a sort of death years ago, if that makes any sense. Still I can't help but think this is going to be an upleasant funeral. Snort. Like any funeral is fun.
 

ksinger

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

junebug17|1298084312|2855186 said:
Oh Karen, I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. I lost mine 18 years ago, and even though we weren't that close, it was still very sad. He was still my father, after all. So I can empathize with how you feel, just a little. I really am sorry, you must be shocked since this occurred so suddenly. You will be in my thoughts. Please check in whenever you need a little moral support. Please take care of yourself, and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to. It is so difficult and life-altering to lose a parent, even if the relationship wasn't perfect. Sending hugs your way.

Thanks Junebug. Yes, you do know - it's all very complicated isn't it, when the relationship hasn't been all that good. Talking about it much just isn't possible, because you hardly know what you feel, let alone how to discuss it.

I've pretty much decided that death sucks. :-\

Don't worry though, I'm taking care of me, and today I had the distraction of taking care of my husband, who had oodles of dental work done under a general. It was nice fussing over him - took my mind off it for a bit. That and posting over in Hangout. A distraction from my own jangled thoughts. Sort of. I probably just need a good stiff drink. LOL!
 

Skippy123

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Ksinger, I hope it is okay that I pop in here but I wanted to sending you a giant heartfelt hug and let you know I am so very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.
 

Gayletmom

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Oh, Ksinger, I am so very, very sorry. It is so very complicated when you loose someone with whom you've had a "tricky" relationship. In some ways, the mourning is harder. I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself and that you have your wonderful DH. Hang in there and know that we are "with" you.
 

Matata

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hugs to you Karen and condolences on your loss. Oft times we mourn what should/could have been rather than what was, and we may regret what was and wasn't said. If you have unresolved issues with your father, I hope you find a way to achieve closure and peace.
 

ksinger

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Gayletmom|1298129654|2855384 said:
Oh, Ksinger, I am so very, very sorry. It is so very complicated when you loose someone with whom you've had a "tricky" relationship. In some ways, the mourning is harder. I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself and that you have your wonderful DH. Hang in there and know that we are "with" you.

Thanks to all of you, Skippy, Gayle, and Matata. I appreciate the sympathy. I have no issues remaining, but this thing is starting to play out a bit unpleasantly already. God, but family stuff can be so underhanded and petty. When family is good, it's great, but when it isn't ....yowza.
 

soocool

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

ksinger|1298138898|2855467 said:
Gayletmom|1298129654|2855384 said:
Oh, Ksinger, I am so very, very sorry. It is so very complicated when you loose someone with whom you've had a "tricky" relationship. In some ways, the mourning is harder. I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself and that you have your wonderful DH. Hang in there and know that we are "with" you.

Thanks to all of you, Skippy, Gayle, and Matata. I appreciate the sympathy. I have no issues remaining, but this thing is starting to play out a bit unpleasantly already. God, but family stuff can be so underhanded and petty. When family is good, it's great, but when it isn't ....yowza.

Ksinger, hugs to you and condolences on your loss. Yes, I too hate the pettiness of family sometimes (DH's family not mine). Stay strong and always remember you have your support group right here!

(I need to visit here more often)
 

soocool

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

It is exactly one year ago today that I landed in the ER with a heart rate in the 30s and 3 days later got my bionic buddy implanted into my chest. I am surprisingly fine today, but in the last month I have been weepy and scared that if I close my eyes I would not wake up again.

A week before all this happened a friend from grade school passed away from congestive heart failure. He was 53. I have been thinking a lot about him lately. I knew him since I was 6 years old. He was in every single class with me through 8th grade. He was the awkward kid, the one the other guys always picked on. He grew up without a father (his father died in his 30s from heart disease) and his was considered a "mama's boy". But he never got mad at the kids who picked on him. He still considered everyone his friend. Funny thing is that all these people who picked on him in his youth became his very close friend in later years. He even came to my wedding with his mom. He did later marry and had a son, who is now about 14 years old. At his funeral and wake they could not fit everyone into the room. He was so loved...I still think about him...
 

ksinger

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

soocool|1298215426|2855965 said:
It is exactly one year ago today that I landed in the ER with a heart rate in the 30s and 3 days later got my bionic buddy implanted into my chest. I am surprisingly fine today, but in the last month I have been weepy and scared that if I close my eyes I would not wake up again.

A week before all this happened a friend from grade school passed away from congestive heart failure. He was 53. I have been thinking a lot about him lately. I knew him since I was 6 years old. He was in every single class with me through 8th grade. He was the awkward kid, the one the other guys always picked on. He grew up without a father (his father died in his 30s from heart disease) and his was considered a "mama's boy". But he never got mad at the kids who picked on him. He still considered everyone his friend. Funny thing is that all these people who picked on him in his youth became his very close friend in later years. He even came to my wedding with his mom. He did later marry and had a son, who is now about 14 years old. At his funeral and wake they could not fit everyone into the room. He was so loved...I still think about him...

Isn't it amazing how adversity shapes us? How some people get meaner and others just become more compassionate and have even more empathy. It must be very hard to lose such a gentle soul...
 

risingsun

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I'm so sorry for your loss, Karen. I have had a number of losses, myself, this past year. It's a difficult and painful process. My sincere condolences.
 

Kaleigh

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Karen,
Just reading this now. I am so very sorry for your loss. I send you prayers of comfort and strength as you deal with this going forward. And if I may, I'd like to give you a hug too.... ::)
 

ksinger

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Thanks you guys, everyone is so kind. I feel very blessed to find such a lovely group of online friends.

This has just been a sad year for so many people - for my immediate friends, my online friends, me. I keep wondering if things will settle a bit.
 

lulu

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

So sorry for your loss, Ksinger.
 

gemgirl

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Oh Karen, I am so sorry honey. I haven't been on PS all that much lately and I'm just catching up with things. I hope you are really OK, although I think *really* OK will take some time. Ahh, I hate bad news. Be good to yourself K.
 

gemgirl

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I did not want to post this in Karen's thread, but I've recently known what it feels like to lose someone unexpectedly. My aunt, my mother's sister and really my closest relative died suddenly, and because my sister disowned me years ago for getting married (long really stupid selfish story), I wasn't told about my aunt's passing because my sister wanted to go to the wake and funeral with my cousins. I just happened to find out three weeks after she passed when I stopped into the nursing home to see her on my way home from a doctor's appointment. To say I was shocked would be a bitter understatement. I felt absolutely sickened by her passing and the entire situation for days afterwards. I still haven't made my peace with it yet. It stinks! I wish everyone would treat others the way that they'd like to be treated themselves. Maybe then these selfish behaviors wouldn't happen.
 

Gayletmom

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I'm so sorry, Gemgirl. What a terrible tragedy to loose your beloved Aunt and then have to deal with the family muck. Sending your my thoughts and prayers.
 

Scorpioanne

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My condolences go out to you Ksinger and gemgirl. Puts what I was going to write in total perspective.
 

risingsun

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I am very sorry to hear this, gemgirl. My deepest condolences.
 

gemgirl

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Thank you ladies. It's going to take me some time to get over her passing. My husband told me after my surgery, when I am well again, he would drive us out to the cemetary so I can pay my respects.

The really wierd thing about this whole situation is that my aunt and uncle's kids both live far away from Long Island, so it was really just my uncle and me visiting my aunt every week since she was in the nursing home. As bad as her dementia got? She *still* recognized me and kissed me and wouldn't let go of me when I was with her. Everything wound up backwards. My sister hadn't gone to visit her even once in two years. That's OK. God makes all things right.
 

junebug17

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

My heart goes out to you gemgirl, you must have been devastated when you dropped by to visit and was given that terrible news. I am angry and upset that you were treated so callously. I am so very sorry for your loss, and sorry for the additional trauma you had to experience. Hugs to you, I hope you find comfort in the fact that you were there for your aunt and brought her joy and peace in her final years. That's what really matters the most.
 
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