You know you are in the wrong job when?

[Gypsy]

One of your bosses, who is awesome and you have a great relationship with, is doing a review of your work to date and shakes his head half way through and just says... okay, can we just talk you and me?

Um... sure.

Why are you doing this job?

Um. Why do you ask?

Because I don't think you should spend months let alone years in a job that doesn't challenge you and that you clearly aren't excited about. You are doing fine, but... why are you here?

Um.
Um.
Um.

So we had a really honest conversation and he encouraged me to look at other jobs in the company that would suit me better, and also offered to help me with the current job with flexibility and to serve as my reference if I wanted to look outside the company.

First, after getting laid off last year and dealing with that it was just so awesome to have a boss really look at me as an individual and just intervene and say... you CAN do this... but just because you can doesn't mean you SHOULD.

And second... I had an interview today at a different company. After my series of employment disasters recently I have no faith in my abilty to chose a job for myself so I have no idea what to think about it. And I have another interview for a different job (this one would be a second interview for that job) next week.

But... it was really a strange conversation. But good too. I've been so insecure I NEEDED someone to say, you aren't being picky... you aren't happy and that's OKAY. You deserve to be doing something that you actual want to get up in the morning and not dread.

So... dust for... whatever it is I need???

 

[monarch64]

Well...lots of dust, Gypsy. Lots. But I worry about you!

Are you really doing what makes you happy?

 

[slg47]

much dust to you! I truly hope you find a job that you really love and that makes you happy!

 

[jaysonsmom]

First of all, I hope you'll find something that makes you happy! We spend 1/3 of our lives at our workplace, so we should be surrounded by things, people that makes us happy.

However, it sounds like you have not been at this job for very long. I just started a new job in January a year ago, and I was unhappy, confused, and going through major adjustments and learning. It wasn't until December when something just clicked, and everything fell into place, and I became comfortable with my job, and comfortable with my coworkers, and it was like day and night.

Maybe it's not a matter of finding a new job, but becoming more confident in your current job...? I', just throwing it our there since I don't know your situation.

 

[zoebartlett]

L -- Have you thought about going to a career counselor, someone who could look at where you've been, where you are right now, and help you plan what to do going forward? You've been very unhappy for a long time, and maybe the field you're in isn't *quite* the right one for you. I hope it's okay to say that, but after reading your (job-related) posts over the past few couple years, it's seems as if there's always something that's preventing you from being happy in your work. I don't mean to imply that you're doing anything wrong. Sometimes we just get stuck in something we think we should be doing, although it might not be a good fit.

I can sort of relate.

Basically, long story short, a former boss I had when I worked in publishing years ago gave me "permission" to look for something that would make me happier. She wasn't letting me go then but she knew that I wasn't happy, and she encouraged me to think about what I really wanted. It was funny, as awkward of a conversation as it was, it was what I needed to hear. I began to look elsewhere and I eventually ended up going back to school full time for my masters degree in education. I've been teaching for the 10 years now and I KNOW I'm in the right field. I realized that I tried too long to stick with my former job because I didn't want to let anyone down. I was learning a lot, but it wasn't fulfilling me like it should have been. There's more to the story, but that's the gist. I hope you don't mind me putting my own experience here. I've had that "strange" conversation, and it was like a lightbulb went off afterwards. I didn't *have* to be doing that job. I didn't have to be pushing through something that wasn't fulfilling me. That was the one thing that gave me the push I needed to look outside the box. I still work with books now, but it's in a completely different way, one that's much more suited to me. Maybe you're in a similar situation. I don't know, I hope this helped. Sorry it was so long!

 

[Porridge]

Dust Gypsy, and well done for showing your boss what you're capable of - even if you didn't mean to!

Best of luck with your interview!

 

[lliang_chi]

Gypsy, best of luck with your interview(s). Job dust going to you, I totally know what you mean by this. A career counselor is a good idea if you need some guidance. But the way I went about the job changes etc is I asked myself, "What do I need to do/ask to prevent this from happening again. What did I not do before accepting this offer? What went "wrong" in the interview process etc." I have been able to figure that would objectively and have been able to tease out what might have been bad matches for me.

It took me a while to find a job I was happy with. I stayed with my first company (Company A) for 4 years, moving through different positions (doing well in them, but not liking it). Ultimately I left because they were not advancing my career. Never looked back. I changed industries to non-profit and worked for Company B and HATED it. Went back to finance with Company C, but I was working from home with a contact I made from my Company A. That closed shop in 2009 with the recession and financial craziness, so I went to a trading firm (Company D) and *H.A.T.E.D* that. Now I've changed industries AGAIN out of finance (company E) and am really happy.

 

[omieluv]

Hey Gypsy!!

Such an odd conversation during your review. Like you said, it is good your boss has a good sense of your skill set and wants you to be in the right role, but the way he kicked off the conversation was odd. You really can't fault him though, since so many managers/bosses out there do not know how to give a proper performance review or even address their employees appropriately during these matters. Employers really are just at a loss right now concerning their staff, as one day they are told to hire and then the economy tanks and then they are told to let someone go...they are in a very reactive state right now, so we all have to roll with the punches.

Anyway, you are not at fault regarding selecting the "right" job, as companies out there do not even seem to know what they are looking for when selecting employees these days. In fact, employers do not even have a good handle on what they are even hiring for, so you are not doing anything wrong. Perhaps asking more questions during the interview might help, but I am not even sure you will get straight answers. My fiancee took a new job a year ago and was told that he would be groomed to become the VP of the division...he just got laid off this past Friday...that's just how it is these days. I was recently laid off too after many promises were made to me last year, so whatever.

You are doing the best you can right now!

 

[Gypsy]

Am I in the right profession?

No.

Do I love what I do when I am doing the 'right' job duties? No, but I like it okay. Much of it gives me satisfaction and I enjoy my salary (when I'm making the right range, right now at THIS job I am at least 20% below where I should be). I enjoy redlining and drafting and negotiating (none of which I do in my current job). But it's a very high stess job (what I do now, and what I should be doing). Both jobs I'm applying to are all about redlining and drafting and negotiating, so that's good. Will either make me happy. NO. I know that. I'm not looking for happiness.

I am good at it. The negotiating and drafting and redlining. The crap I'm doing now is all administrative and I'm adequate but I hate it and it shows. The negotiating and drafting and redlining I'm good at and I at least get satisfaction out of it. And it pays much better. MUCH better.

Would I go back to school and do something else if I could? Yes. But, I am not willing to go back to living like a student. Yet at least. And I'm not entirely certain I know what I would go back for. I have no idea what an alternate career would be for me.

So I'm trying to find a job doing something I don't completely hate (which I do now). Is it perfect? No. And I know it isn't going to be.

I don't know. This is one huge chaotic black hole in my life.

Where do you find a really good career counselor. All the one's I've met have been... well, crap.

 

[Cehrabehra]

*dust*dust*dust*

 

[PinkTower]

My husband worked for a law firm for over 20 years, and was a managing partner. One day, about five years ago, he decided to do it. He quit and opened up his own firm. It was really hard, it still is. But it is succeeding. My point as it relates to you:
Have you considered the possibility of this on a smaller scale? Could you begin with some consult work on the side while maintaining your current position? At some point, could you become 'of counsel', either there or somewhere else and pursue the consulting work until you had it built up enough to start your own firm? I am just throwing out some ideas, for you to customize and see if they are possibilities.

 

[Haven]

Dust to you, Gypsy! It sounds like this conversation might be the catalyst you needed to really make a change for yourself. I hope you find what you're looking for!

 

[Skippy123]

Sending lots of dust; I think you are a FABULOUS lady so wishing you the best!!

 

[smitcompton]

Hi Gypsy,

I had a social acquaintance a fews ago who was a lawyer in practice for herself. I used her for my will and to negoitiate a few issues for me. She wasn't all that happy with what she was doing as it caused her much anxiety. Several yrs later I talked to her and now she was doing mediation work, mainly for divorces, but loved it. There is this new show on air about a mediator that i enjoy., i think negoiating skills are very necessary and I think the court gives referrals or there is mandatory mediation in some cases. Anyway, just a thought.

Annette