Is Santa real?

[megumic]

How do you address whether Santa and other holiday associated characters (Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc.) are real with your little ones? When I was small I always kind of knew it wasn't real and sometimes I felt lied to. Once my mom realized I no longer believed in Santa, I think she cried.

How do you go about the tough question (one of many, many many!) of whether Santa is real without ruining the Christmas spirit of Santa???

 

[fieryred33143]

I've really been thinking about the Santa thing lately.

Santa was HUGE growing up. We didn't have a single gift under the tree until the morning of Dec. 25 because Santa, and only Santa, delivered all of the gifts. We would go to Macy's to talk to Santa's helper and give him my list. We'd watch all the Santa related cartoons and leave out cookies. I it. So much fun!!

People who find out that Santa isn't real have very different reactions to it. I found out because my dad was sick. I was appreciative that my family would go to that much effort to keep up the Santa magic.

My brothers were devastated when they found out a few years later! One of them wished we had never told him about Santa at all! I'm trying to decide whether a potential negative reaction to it would still be worth the magic of it all. I'm leaning towards yes.

The other thing I've been thinking of is whether or not I want to play him up as much as my family did. I have heard of traditions where the gift from Santa was something small and the bigger gifts were from mom and dad so that the child learns to be more appreciative of mom and dad purchasing them gifts. I'm kind of digging that idea but I really love Santa and how our Christmases were. I have a few years to decide though.

 

[somethingshiny]

I figured it out when I was 4 so I don't really remember believing. I wish I could remember the magic so I do everything possible to make the magic now. JT will be 5 soon. He's asked a lot of questions since last Christmas. I think we're running out of his believing years in a hurry. Any time he asks me a question I ask what he thinks. So, when he questions Santa, I ask what he thinks. He still wants to believe so he answers " I think he's real." When he begins not wanting to believe anymore we will go with the Spirit of Christmas and encourage him to help make the magic for his little sister. My best Santa memories are helping my mom with surprises for my younger siblings.

As far as not "ruining" the fun of Christmas, I will still put presents under the tree in the dead of night, they will still be wrapped in my traditional Santa Claus way, there will still be surprises. I always hated when parents put the presents under the tree early or the kid was there when it was purchased.

Although I didn't believe, I still got very excited and woke in the wee hours of the morning to go check out the tree. I hope that my kids will still have the excitement even if they don't have the belief.

Sorry this is rambly. I've had about 3 hours of sleep in the last 2 days.


I have a cousin and an aunt/uncle who only have Santa bring home made items--wooden, crafted, sewed, etc. He brings one item each (that was obviously made in his workshop) and that goes towards explaining how all the toys fit in the sleigh. Mom and Dad bring the rest. I have mixed feelings on that. I think it's strange for Mom and Dad to want the credit in the first place, but I do advocate a child knowing that stuff doesn't just appear out of thin air.

 

[fieryred33143]

SS we do the same! When my brothers would go to bed, my mom and I would stay awake until 3am wrapping gifts and putting them under the tree. Once they grew up, it was so funny to hear doors opening and closing in the middle of the night followed by giggles

 

[janinegirly]

I've been thinking about this too, but from a different angle. Since my DD is 2, I'm starting to tell her about Santa, reindeer, good girls getting toys - and I'm feeling guilty! It's so fun to see her eyes get wide when I describe it all, but eek, it seems wrong to tell her something that is not true. But I still do it, because it is part of the joy of childhood and when she's old enough to suspect, her friends...um I mean I can tell her the truth. I also discovered it on my own as a child, but let my mom keep the ruse up for a little longer, lol.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think we'll partake in the santa tradition but will focus on how santa help others. Maybe put one good santa gift under the tree and tell Aidan that while santa gives gifts to all good boys and girls, he helps out those in need first so he only had time to drop off one present to A? Not sure of the details yet....

 

[Jennifer W]

I have no problem with small lies to small children (Barney is sleeping right now, no, I don't know where your drum kit is, maybe daddy took your trumpet to work with him and the piano is broken right now etc) so we're going with Santa.

Not least because my parents' tradition was to buy a bottle of brandy for Santa, and leave it on the hearth for him come Christmas eve. DH is particularly keen to carry on with that as a family tradition and has been eyeing increasingly nicer bottles of cognac that he thinks Santa will enjoy.

 

[charbie]

I don't feel any guilt at all keeping up the Santa gig when I have kids. I loved believing in Santa, and wasn't mad at all when I found out he wasn't real. In fact, I loved learning about the lengths my parents went to to keep up the guise. I know the guy in the suit gets the credit for the gifts when the kids are little but eventually they will learn and appreciate it. The "santa" period of my life was such a small blip in the radar of my life, I don't think I was scarred for life or distrusting of my parents since they built up the Santa routine. Did it suck to find out he wasn't real? Sure. But I think this lends to the whole theory that parents coddle and protect their children so much these days that the term "Trial by fire" means nothing.

 

[redfaerythinker]

I think there's a lot more to Santa than parents usually think about. I believed in Santa, and then one day I asked my dad "the tooth fairy isn't real is she?" When he told me no, I said so the same goes for Santa and the Easter bunny? He said yes, and then told me the story of the real St. Nick and how important it was to keep alive his spirit of giving. "Santa" still visits me and my whole family because my parents were willing to keep the magic alive even though I knew that there were no reindeer etc.

I think that all the parents out there can do whatever they want with their own kids, but I do think that robbing them of Santa is wrong. I say this because I had so much fun, and still do, with it. And also, think about when they are school age. Children will talk and ask what did Santa bring you? Do you want your child to be the one to ruin it for others, or to be the child who feels less loved because their parents didn't do that with them. Before you flame me, I know that it's not a lack of love, but for a child it will feel like the same thing. It brings to mind the "elf on a shelf" tradition that was big when I was young and went to a ritzy private school. The moms would hide the elf around the house, or at school, etc. and then the elf would leave notes with clues as to his location. There would also be a small gift involved with finding the elf. Now we all knew that the elf was the kid's mom. But it still hurt that my mom wouldn't do it because she thought it was a waste and a stupid tradition.

So long story short... do it because it's fun, magical, and because life is hard already without your kid being singled out as the only one that Santa doesn't visit, etc. Also feel free to ignore this entire post because I am a single, childless, 24 year-old.

 

[anchor31]

I didn't believe in the tooth fairy or the easter bunny growing up, but I did believe in Santa. I remember it being exciting! When my siblings and I started suspecting that our parents were the ones putting the presents under the tree, we slept in the living room to try and catch them. I don't know how they did it, but none of us woke up! I think because of how I experienced it, I will feel no guilt about having my son believe in Santa. He's too little to understand now, but I think it'll be fun.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Well...my kids still believe in Santa (they're 8 and 10) and I'll probably pretend he's still real even long after they know he's not. That's what my mom did. "Santa" still gave me gifts when I was 18 and even at that age, my mom refused to admit she was Santa.

My older son did say that all the kids at school were saying the Easter Bunny isn't real and that parents buy the candy and hide it in the eggs, so I told him that the candy in the stores is for school parties.

My older son is also at the age where other questions are being asked so things are getting a bit tricky (i.e. - how are babies made, etc. ) AHHHH!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I didn't believe in the tooth fairy

Re: the tooth fairy. Recently I was watching a movie and the toothfairy being a parent was brought up and my son heard it and I found myself telling him that it's a movie and nothing in movies are true, so yes, there is a tooth fairy. Hopefully when he does find out the truth, he'll understand all those characters created were to keep childhood magic alive.

 

[Pandora II]

I found out when I was around 8 - my mother put one too many things in our stocking with labels on saying 'love from Mummy and Daddy' by mistake

My parents - who are both atheists - liked the idea of using Santa as a way to explain religious belief, and we will do the same with Daisy.

 

[ForteKitty]

I never believed in any of it... refused to, actually. It just didn't make any sense and i asked too many questions. Teachers eventually gave up. Not too many kids believed in them either, now that i think about it. At least not in public.

MC- When I was 6, I asked where babies came from... and my mom handed me the encyclopedia, showed me pictures of embryos, and explained the process. I didn't understand it, but it sure made more sense than the "stork" or "cabbage patch kids".

 

[packrat]

We didn't have any of if growing up b/c we didn't celebrate. JD and I do Christmas w/the kids, but we don't do Santa. However, kids learn about Santa in school, so whatever, she can believe in him if she wants, but I don't gush about it. She knows mommy and daddy get the presents, and when she sits with me to talk about what she likes and what would make her really happy, her eyes are huge and she's thrilled to pieces. Christmas is magical to me-it makes me giddy and I drive around belting out Christmas songs and I love the Christmas shows, and I didn't have any of it growing up, so I don't think my kids will find it any less fun or exciting or wondrous b/c Santa didn't come. I told London Santa is a feeling, when you're happy and you do nice things for people, and how you should feel all year, but that everyone comes together to make other people happy this specific time of year.

 

[Jennifer W]

Um, the tooth fairy? The tooth fairy is a fact. When I had a wisdom tooth removed in my 20s, the tooth fairy visited. Now how could that be if the tooth fairy is only a childhood myth, exactly?

The tooth fairy brings age-appropriate gifts, too. She left me a bottle of Jack Daniels that time.

I never saw the tooth fairy and DH in the same room though, now I come to think about it...

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Honestly I think that "santa" is a disaster waiting to happen. I figured out very quickly that santa, tooth fairy, etc wasn't real when none of my friends seemed to get the same amount of money from the fairy or others were given several santa gifts while some only were given one. I'm not having children, but if I were to I would much rather them know that all of their gifts are from mom and dad who love then very much then from Santa who may love another child more than them (in their eyes of course).

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Honestly I think that "santa" is a disaster waiting to happen. I figured out very quickly that santa, tooth fairy, etc wasn't real when none of my friends seemed to get the same amount of money from the fairy or others were given several santa gifts while some only were given one. I'm not having children, but if I were to I would much rather them know that all of their gifts are from mom and dad who love then very much then from Santa who may love another child more than them (in their eyes of course).

One relative of my kids told them that the toothfairy gives out $20.

 

[Pandora II]

In our house 'Father Christmas' (we have him instead of Santa in the UK) did the stockings - presents under the tree were from relatives and parents.

I think that is pretty usual here. That avoids the 'how many presents' scenario.

Did notice that the tooth-fairy had different levels of generosity at different peoples' houses. My parents got round that by saying that they had fixed the amount in advance with the fairy.... my parents are Scottish, say no more...

 

[Girlrocks]

My oldest are 10 and they all still believe. We will keep "Santa" going even after they figure it out. I have always loved Christmas and believed in Santa, and remember how exciting it was! Kids grow up so quickly, and I personally see no harm in letting them believe in the magic of Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc.

I am changing it this year...Santa will only bring 1 or 2 gifts per child, the rest are coming from Mom and Dad. A few days ago I was driving the kids in the car and my 6 year old was asking her older sisters if Santa was real. I was nervously waiting for the answer, then one of them spoke up and said "of course Santa has to be real, you don't think Mommy and Daddy have that kind of money, do you?"

As far as the Tooth Fairy is concerned, I tell my kids that the Tooth Fairy has the same amount of money to give out each night, and it has to be divided evenly, so that's why kids get different amounts.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I don't remember ever believing in Santa, and at age 7, I told my cousins that there couldn't be a santa because it doesn't make any sense. That being said, I really LOVED the magic of it all and did everything I could to make Christmas special for my little sister including making up stories about reindeer and Santa, etc.

 

[soocool]

When I was little someone told me that Santa wasn't real and I remember to this day how much that hurt and how I cried when I found out the truth. Christmas was never the same for me since then. I vowed not to do that to my DD. When she asked about Santa, I turned the question to her and sked her what she thought. She chose to believe and that was fine with me. She told me (she is now 18!) that she is happy that I never squashed the Santa mystique for her. It made her want to make sure other kids were as happy as she was and had a good Christmas if Santa could not find them, so she spent her own money and time buying and helping kids who were less fortunate than her during the holidays. She still does this as she a some friends at school adopted a less fortunate family and she will be working at a homeless shelter this Christmas.

Kids grow up too fast nowadays I prefer that they stay kids as long as possible. So keep the mystery alive!

 

[Prana]

When I was old enough to have figured it out, my mom told me that Santa WAS real...once. She told me some of the legends of St. Nick and Santa Claus, Kris Kringle etc. from other cultures, and how it was so important to carry on his legend, that parents took it upon themselves to keep it going. It was an awesome transition for me, because it still allowed me to believe, although in a different way.

I never gave much thought to the easter bunny or tooth fairy. They didn't excite me nearly as much as Santa Claus. When I found out Santa wasn't 'real', I just figured the otheres weren't either, and my parents just explained to me that the gift giving and bunny/fairy/fat man lies were just things parents did for their kids to make them excited and happy, and to help them feel that 'magic' and excitement, and reexperience it for themselves as well.

 

[Prana]

I've really been thinking about the Santa thing lately.

Santa was HUGE growing up. We didn't have a single gift under the tree until the morning of Dec. 25 because Santa, and only Santa, delivered all of the gifts. We would go to Macy's to talk to Santa's helper and give him my list. We'd watch all the Santa related cartoons and leave out cookies. I it. So much fun!!

People who find out that Santa isn't real have very different reactions to it. I found out because my dad was sick. I was appreciative that my family would go to that much effort to keep up the Santa magic.

My brothers were devastated when they found out a few years later! One of them wished we had never told him about Santa at all! I'm trying to decide whether a potential negative reaction to it would still be worth the magic of it all. I'm leaning towards yes.

The other thing I've been thinking of is whether or not I want to play him up as much as my family did. I have heard of traditions where the gift from Santa was something small and the bigger gifts were from mom and dad so that the child learns to be more appreciative of mom and dad purchasing them gifts. I'm kind of digging that idea but I really love Santa and how our Christmases were. I have a few years to decide though.

fiery, Christmas was the same at our house too...zero gifts under the tree until the morning of the 25th, that magically appeared there overnight, delivered by the fat man himself! My brother and I would get up at 5AM, SO EXCITED! We weren't allowed to go downstairs until my parents went down and made sure everything was all set, and that Santa had made it out and back up the chimney. Then we would run down the stairs, my mom took a picture of us flying down the stairs every year, and we still stage it to this day lol. Christmas lists were a huge deal, they had to be done and completed by a certain date, so that Santa could get going (or so that Mom could get shopping haha.)
These are some of my fondest and most happy memories. I can remember the smells, the way the lights looked, the feeling of opening presents while it was still dark out and everything seemed so mysterious and magical, and the way it seemed, to me, like the world was just standing still during that time. I can't wait til I have my own kids to do this with.

 

[ladypirate]

Santa was always big in our family--hell, we still get presents from Santa (and sometimes give them!) As we've become adults, Santa has simply evolved into the idea of the spirit of Christmas and generosity--more of the "yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" model.

As kids, whenever we'd ask if Santa wasn't real, my mom would tell us that if we didn't believe in him, he wouldn't bring us any presents. It kept us believing (even if we knew he wasn't literally real) for a long time.