Those of you who had a young ring bearer....

[LtlFirecracker]

Did you let him carry the rings?

We have a 2.5 year old ring bearer in our wedding. I was thinking it was best to tie a pouch onto the pillow, have him give the pouch to his father (the best man) and than have his father have a matching pouch in his pocket with the real rings.

Just wondering what other people did.

 

[sunnyd]

No way!! Our RB was 2.5 also, so we just left the cheesy plastic rings that came with our pillow on and the best man had the real ones in his pocket. No one can tell the difference anyway, they're too busy staring at the cuteness.

 

[slg47]

I don't know what would happen to them if you had the actual rings?

 

[ts44]

I don't know what would happen to them if you had the actual rings?

I think the concern is that the young lad may temporarily forget himself and have a tantrum/chuck the rings somewhere/untie them from the pillow and they roll away/feed them to the flower dog/swallow them himself/etc.

The rings may be one of a kind, family heirlooms, encrusted in red diamonds, what-have-you and difficult or impossible to replace, thus giving the ring bearer fake rings takes that (perhaps small, but still a possibility) chance out of play.

ETA: Unless you meant that you don't know what happens to the fake rings once he arrives at his destination and "passes them off". In some weddings, once the ring bearer gets to the moment of truth he refuses to relinquish the pillow, in which case he is left with it in harmony, as the rings are fake. In other cases, the best man makes a great show of thanking him for his excellent work and removing the fakies from the pillow, then handing the pillow back to the ring bearer and pocketing the fakies, while passing the real ones to the groom.

 

[slg47]

no, I guess I just don't see the concern...if a responsible adult is in charge of the rings and gives them to the young ring bearer immediately before he walks down the aisle...just don't see how they can get 'lost' on the aisle, especially if they are secured to the pillow.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I don't know what would happen to them if you had the actual rings?

I think the concern is that the young lad may temporarily forget himself and have a tantrum/chuck the rings somewhere/untie them from the pillow and they roll away/feed them to the flower dog/swallow them himself/etc.

The rings may be one of a kind, family heirlooms, encrusted in red diamonds, what-have-you and difficult or impossible to replace, thus giving the ring bearer fake rings takes that (perhaps small, but still a possibility) chance out of play.

ETA: Unless you meant that you don't know what happens to the fake rings once he arrives at his destination and "passes them off". In some weddings, once the ring bearer gets to the moment of truth he refuses to relinquish the pillow, in which case he is left with it in harmony, as the rings are fake. In other cases, the best man makes a great show of thanking him for his excellent work and removing the fakies from the pillow, then handing the pillow back to the ring bearer and pocketing the fakies, while passing the real ones to the groom.

This pretty much sums up my concerns. I deal with toddlers everyday, so I know how unpredictable they can be. My worst case situation is not the rings getting lost, but him throwing the pillow onto the concrete ground full force. I know it is unlikely, maybe an unrealistic fear. I would be OK with a slightly older kids having the real rings. I like the idea of finding some fakes. I think I will do that. The second case, of the "best man thinking him" would work great as the best man is his Father.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

No way!! Our RB was 2.5 also, so we just left the cheesy plastic rings that came with our pillow on and the best man had the real ones in his pocket. No one can tell the difference anyway, they're too busy staring at the cuteness.

Thanks. It sounds like we are thinking of the same

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I don't know what would happen to them if you had the actual rings?

Probably nothing, but I have seen this boy at his best and his worst. He is very cute, but he has is moments.

 

[slg47]

haha OK, I must admit I don't know any 2.5 year old boys nothing wrong with not having the real rings, I think that's what most people do anyway

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Our ring bearer was 11 months and his parents walked him down the aisly in the processional and he was listed in the program, but we didn't even put fake rings on his pillow! DH's BM had my ring and my MOH had hubby's ring the whole time.

I never even thought that would be weird, how clueless am I? I think you've gotten excellent recommendations here to find fakes...

 

[stepcutgirl]

We are having two 5 year olds be our ring bearers. There is NO WAY I'm giving either of them our rings! I think the best man will have them in his pocket.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Yeah, we had pretty silver rings (cheap, but still pretty enough for photos!)

 

[yssie]

We'd have been in trouble - one of ours was also 2.5ish and he took off in the other direction seconds before his scheduled walk


We had DH's brother keep the rings. Our flower girl held a basket with petals, and our "ring bearers" (4 and 2.5) were supposed to hold her hand and throw the petals from the basket as they walked. Well, that didn't exactly go as planned, but our rings were safe

 

[LtlFirecracker]

We'd have been in trouble - one of ours was also 2.5ish and he took off in the other direction seconds before his scheduled walk


We had DH's brother keep the rings. Our flower girl held a basket with petals, and our "ring bearers" (4 and 2.5) were supposed to hold her hand and throw the petals from the basket as they walked. Well, that didn't exactly go as planned, but our rings were safe

Well, about 30 minutes before the wedding, my wedding planner came running in asking for extra favors to bribe the ring bearer with, my favors were cookies. I guess he was melting down because he hated his tux. I don't know what they said to him, but when it came time for the wedding, he walked down the aisle without a problem and actually smiled for our pictures.

I am still glad we did fake rings, but he ended up doing fine. But as your story shows, it really could have gone either way.

My 6 year old FG almost melted down because she could not find her mother. The pastor dropped her off in the bridal changing room because he didn't know what else to do, and me and my BM's had to convince her that her mother was at the site and not leaving anytime soon. Than we bribed her with lipstick and hairspray .

 

[CharmyPoo]

It is funny to see this thread. My fiance and I were talking about ring pillows and he was saying how silly it is for me to spend so much on one. Then he went on to say .. how much would you want to spend on the fake rings to go on there. I was like .. what do you mean fake rings .. I thought the real ones go on there. All this lead to me googling the topic - I found horror stories of kids throwing the ring and the adults spending 15 minutes looking for them.

So I guess .. fake rings are going into ours (I have cheapies that look exactly like our real ones). My ring bearer will either be 1 or 5 ... I haven't decided among the multiple little boys we have among our friends. Our "best maid" son will be 1 year old and we would love for him to be in the ring bearer especially we have seen him since he was born and been watching him grow up (fine .. it's only been 2 months).

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Fake rings (or no ring on the pillow, which is what I think I did) are a good idea because even if your ring bearer is not the sort to throw a temper tantrum or eat rings for fun, he may get really nervous and just not want to walk all the way down the aisle. If that happened, then an adult would have to track him down (if he only made it halfway and stopped to hide under Uncle Bill's chair) and/or walk the rings up to the altar. If the rings are already at the altar, then it's no big deal if the kid doesn't make it to the front.

 

[megumic]

Last weekend our three year-old ring bearer chucked the ring pillow down the aisle -- thankfully the rings were not on the pillow! Despite always being a "what could possibly happen to the rings" kind of bride, I am now the proceed with caution type.