Family stone vs. buying stone (feedback plz)

[Zeppelin]

Well, I have been looking at diamonds for the past few months. I started out with the common neophyte idea that I wanted at least a 1-carat diamond and nothing less would do to express my love. Then, learning about price hikes at 1-carat and diamond spread and looking at pricing and quality, I got over the idea of "1.0 or bust" and started looking at stones more in the 0.8 carat range.

Well, all of this was with the idea that I could borrow some money from my grandparents to buy the ring. I am a full-time student with no income. All of the money I have saved goes towards paying my living expenses. Well, I hinted to my grandparents that I was thinking about trying to borrow some money from them to do this and could pay them back in a year or so when I''m an attorney. My grandma quickly said I should only buy what I can afford and should not go in debt to buy an engagement ring. Soooooo...

My girlfriend has a 0.5 carat G VS2 stone that was her grandmother''s. It is a lovely stone. The idea of buying a ring for her is more exciting to me, but she has frequently said we could sure save a lot of money if I just used her grandmother''s stone and maybe later on when I am working we could upgrade it and she could turn her grandma''s stone into a necklace or something.

I am wondering if anyone here has been in a similar situation and if you have regretted not buying your own stone vs. using a family stone. I think a lot of it is ego, and some of it is just that it would be more of a surprise to give her something she had never seen before. If I use the family stone, it will be reset in a different metal and setting, but it would still not be as much of a surprise since I would have to ask her for it (she wears it every day).

Any advice or thoughts are appreciated...

 

[ChooChoo]

My vote is to use your girlfriend's stone, since it seems meaningful to her and she could be hurt if you "spurn" it... Also, I like the idea of getting an upgrade later when you have more money, so you're not getting her another stone that's barely larger. This way, you can really blow her away for your anniversary (or maybe even for a wedding present).

 

[goldengirl]

I vote to use her grandmother's stone, too. She'd probably think it was very sentimental of you to use an heirloom stone, and she's obviously level-headed enough to realize she'd rather go into a marraige debt-free (and this shows she cares more about marrying you than about getting a fancy new diamond, too!).

In fact, it was her idea, so I would feel fortunate to have the opportunity of an heirloom stone available and take it.

 

[Zeppelin]

Does anyone know if a 0.5 carat stone would work in this setting? Click Here! Vatche's website has a 0.75 stone in the setting in the catalogue.

Also, would it be cheaper to buy this setting or just show it to someone and have them make something similar?

Alsooooo, would six prongs be overwhelming on a half-carat diamond cuz I kinda like six-prongs for some reason...? Wow, I'm feeling inquisitive...

 

[goldengirl]

Sure, a .5 would work in that setting. If Vatche doesn't make the setting FOR a .5, you may be better off having someone do it up custom--they may need to tweak the band width to really make it look proper.

As for price...I have no idea what goldsmiths in your area charge. You'd have to call one and ask... but I figure it can't possibly cost more than the Vatche!

 

[heart prongs]

I think you should go with her grandmother's stone...and for the element of surprise, buy the setting -- that one is gorgeous by the way -- and present it to her w/o the stone. Or, could you work something out with a jeweler beforehand and then take her there to "look at rings" and have the jeweler say that the stone is loose and needs to be tightened or repolished or something like that...then you could have him/her replace the setting w/ the one you've chosen? I almost believe it myself...klr

 

[Zeppelin]

Haha -- that is a good idea.

What about six prongs on a half-carat stone, guys? She currently has a four-prong and it makes the stone look too square....can a half-carat handle six prongs or is that too busy?

 

[ChooChoo]

I think a six-prong can look beautiful on any size stone... here is one:

Six-prong pave

 

[mingagreen]

Zeppelin, speaking from experience I think you should use your girlfriends diamond. My husband proposed to me with a ring that had his mothers .52 carat diamond in it. I was totally surprised and proud to wear this diamond. It meant alot to my husband to be able to give me a stone that was part of our family. He gave me a very basic solitare setting and told me when we got home I could pick the ring I wanted. I did that but now I am getting a custom ring made . I still love the diamond for what it is and what it meant to his mother. Best of luck.
I have my .52 diamond set w/ 6 prongs and it doesn't look that bad, it does look like ther is alot of metal around the diamond but it isn't too bad.

 

[Patty]

Since your grandparents did not offer to loan you the money, it seems like you have no choice but to use her family stone, right?

I LOVE the Vatche setting that you posted.

My first solitaire was just a bit over a half carat and it looked fine in 6 prongs. Diamonds DO look rounder in 6 prongs and more square in 4.

 

[janmlau]

the setting that you picked out for the stone would look amazing in a setting like that. i know i've made a ring like that before for someone. if it's in plat, it should be around $900. in 14k-18k white it should be around $550. setting it in a 4 prong would be a little bit more simple and elegant. in a 6 prong, it'll be a little bit more busy up on top, but will still look good.

 

[goldengirl]

I should think that if the prongs are delicate and finely made, they wouldn't overpower the stone...

 

[LesleyH]

When we got engaged I had the choice to either have a ring made up of 7 x .15 diamonds that were in an eternity band from my husband's grandmother or get a brand new diamond. I went with the 7 x .15 and he had them set in a custom made setting - a very wide 18K yellow gold band with a flower of diamonds on the top. I wore that for 16 years and then, considering the business I am in, finally got my solitaire. We took the 7 x .15's and put them back into an eternity band which will be for one of our kids. I always felt very special wearing my very meaningful engagement ring

LesleyH
www.whiteflash.com

 

[Zeppelin]

----------------
On 9/6/2004 9:16:02 PM Patty wrote:

Since your grandparents did not offer to loan you the money, it seems like you have no choice but to use her family stone, right?

I LOVE the Vatche setting that you posted.

My first solitaire was just a bit over a half carat and it looked fine in 6 prongs. Diamonds DO look rounder in 6 prongs and more square in 4.----------------

Well, the other option is to wait about a year, b/c I will be making good money then...but I do not want to wait that long to get the ball rolling with a proposal and then almost another year until you're married...i'm getting antsy i guess and don't wanna wait till i have a solid income...

 

[MelissaSue]

I am using my grandmothers.. but it may have been my grandfathers... (I have heard conflicting reports on who it belonged to.. I really should find that out..) stone in my ring. I wouldn't have had it any other way. I was told from the time I was little that that would be the stone I would use in my engagement ring, and now I am using it there.
My sister has a "matching" one in her engagment ring. She has, and I am going to have a 3 stone setting. Another one of my sisters three stones is a diamond her husband inherited (Hers is the center, his is one of the smaller side stones), and the third is one he bought to upgrade her ring after they were married. My boyfriend bought my setting and both of my side stones, but mine will be smaller than hers.
If my boyfriend was buying me a diamond, I would have been more than thrilled with a smallish solitaire, but since we already had a beautiful .95 ct diamond, we decided to make the most of it (He wanted to put a decent amount of money into the ring, even though he got out of buying the diamond).
Melissa

 

[fire&ice]

Heed your Grandmother's wise words. Don't go into debt for an engagement ring.

That said, you could rotate the prongs in a NSEW & the diamond won't look as square in a four prong.

 

[ame]

Definitely use the heirloom. When you guys a rich in a few years buy a comparable half carat and a nice carat or carat+ stone and make it a 3stone.

 

[Hest88]

What everyone else said. Your grandmother and your girlfriend are wise.

 

[Lynn B]

I think heirloom family diamonds are AWESOME! What a wonderful opportunity. I say GO FOR IT!

Lynn

 

[CaptAubrey]

i used an heirloom diamond. mrs. aubrey has never complained.

 

[Upgradable]

Eighteen years ago my husband-to-be presented me with his great aunt's vintage engagment ring, .60, and we chose a new six prong setting for it. I would have kept it in the original filigre but he wanted it to be "mine." It was beautiful!

About ten years ago I had the head replaced and wasn't involved in picking out the new head. The prongs were much too heavy for the stone and obscured nearly a third of it. I lived with it, but it made me sad that it no longer looked as beautiful as it once had.

We have been saving and are now in the process of upgrading to a 1.25 stone in a new ring. As an in-between step, I took my great grandmother's yellow gold wedding band and had a new contour solitaire ring with very fine, medium high prongs. I'm wearing it with my 7 stone 10 year anniversary band and it couldn't be more beautiful. And now the "family" ring can be passed on to our daughter when she is old enough.

 

[AdaBeta27]

Zeppelin, use the .5ct. But decide whether the setting for the .5ct is short term or long term and that might influence choice of setting and how much you want to spend for it. Since that is a designer setting with a unique basket mounting, if you know the upgrade to 1ct is definite, inquire whether there is some way you can buy the complete mounting for the .5ct AND also get a spare basket sized for the 1ct+ upgrade (you will need to know the diameter of diamond for that). I'm just thinking that if you want to reuse the mounting for the upgrade diamond, the mounting might have been obsoleted and it may be difficult to get the same "look" unless you buy the parts now. If they won't sell an extra basket (prob'ly won't), at least find out what your upgrade options for the mounting are, i.e. can your jeweler send it back and have it redone for the larger stone. Will you have to start over with a new setting for the upgrade or get somebody to copy the basket for a larger stone.

 

[valeria101]

One more vote for the existing piece, of course

I just wanted to mention that the Vatche settings listed at Whiteflash all have options for half caraters... beside this one! I would definitely ask if the head of the setting can be adjusted for a half carat stone. Vatche doe shave a full pave version too.

And you may find the setting down THIS link interesting as well.

 

[AdaBeta27]

I don't know if the craftsmanship is good, but www.overnightmountings.com has some interesting antique looks on pgs. 31, 26, 27, 29. People at diamondtalk.com are using them for $300+ CZs so they must not be all bad.