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How much does it cost to be a Bridesmaid?

megumic

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 8, 2009
Messages
1,647
Just wanted to take an informal poll to see what everyone thinks is a good estimate of the cost of being a bridesmaid. In your estimate include dress, alterations, shoes, hair and/or makeup, bridal shower, bachelorette party, hotel costs, etc. and be sure to note if you added anything extra in your consideration.

I'd say it costs roughly +$1000 to be a bridesmaid.
 

sonnyjane

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
2,476
I would agree, more or less, with that figure.

The most recent wedding I was in was my best friends out-of-state.

Dress - $160 (didn't need alterations luckily)

Shoes - $40

Hotel for 3 nights, 4 people to a room - $150

Flight - $370

Makeup - None, did my own

Hair - $80

Wedding Gift - $100 (she is a close friend)

Total: $900

I couldn't afford to attend the bachelorrette party AND the wedding, as the flight cost was too high, and it was held the month before the wedding. It would have been a good $1,500 for everything if I went to both.
 

Guilty Pleasure

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2008
Messages
1,114
This is so subjective as it depends on whether or not the events and wedding will require traveling and the personal taste of the bride, but I will estimate based on an in-town event with no traveling for wedding, shower, or bachelorette party.

costs exclusive to being bridesmaid:

dress - 150
shoes - 50
hair - 50
shower - 100
bachelorette party decorations or extras - 20

additional costs as a normal wedding guest and girlfriend:

bachelorette party (dinner, drinks, lingerie for bride, etc) - 75
shower and wedding gifts - 75

(very conservative) Grand total for everything: $520


That being said, I spent more than that on several weddings due to travel for showers and bachelorette party. While I don't think it's quite fair to include normal costs in the grand total of being a bridesmaid, there is an expectation that you'll attend (and spend) as a bridesmaid while a normal guest could decline shower or bachelorette invitations without guilt.
 

Glitz

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
292
I was the maid of honour last year for a friend ... who turned Bridezilla. My only words of advice to new brides is BE GRATEFUL! and try to choose a dress that your girls will wear again if they're buying it and it's over $100. Here is the break down of the wedding I was involved in ... keep in mind that this bride was very ungrateful, and saved as much money where she could with her budget, but pushed for us to have the most extravagant bachelorette party, bridal shower and here in Canada the wedding party is in charge of planning and hosting a Stag & Doe sometimes known as a Jack & Jill. Basically this event is fundraiser for the couple, where family & friends pay admission and pay to play games, where there will be prizes that are also funded by the wedding party. I was one of 4 bridesmaids ... originally there was 5, but bridezilla was ungrateful and thought the one girl wasn't "supportive enough" so she was cut .. after buying the dress! The other girls were all students and couldn't contribute a whole lot, so most of the costs were put on me as I was the "MOH". I have tried to put this wedding behind me and have never added up the total before but here it goes.

The total I got is roughly $2000 & I'm sure there's stuff I'm forgetting.

Dress = $275
Alterations = $30
Shoes = $90
Days pay I lost taking off of work = $200
Hair+Make-up = $100
Hotel = $150
I'm 2hrs away, keep in mind gas/travelling, $50 a tank x 8 visits = $400


Bachelorette: $280
Pole dancing class = $50 (because 1 girl bailed I had to make up the cost)
Drinks for the night = $100
Dinner = $30
Fun Penis Games = $30
Prizes = $20
Limo = $30 (split between everyone who came)
Bar Admission = $20

Bridal Shower: $145
Games/Props = $25
Prizes = $50
Decorations = $20
Gift = $50
Food was taken care of by her mom

Stag & Doe: $280
DJ = $250
Hall Rental = $175
Prizes = $100
Food = $75 (my parents paid for this)
Decorations = $60
Games/Props = $30
Printing of the Tickets = $80
Admission Ticket = $10 (YES! this bride demanded that we show our "support" by purchasing a ticket, this is why the other girl was kicked out of the wedding party, she felt like she was already contributing enough and stood her ground.)
*** I was reimbursed for the obvious expenses, Hall Rental & DJ, everything else was overlooked as a donation, the part that really gets me is when the groom took the mic and was thanking everyone for coming ... he never once mentioned his wedding party!

If any people are reading this and know what the "Toonie Toss" is, get a load of this. The groom decided after the Texas Mickey had been won that he wanted more money, she he bribed the winner with money and bought it back so the game could go one!

Their engagement was over a year and a half, so all of this slowly added up. Since she was a young bride (22) I wanted her to still have a good experience. The only reason that I'm so bitter over all of this is just how ungrateful she was for everything, and the fact that she bailed on my birthday this year because "money was tight" :blackeye: ... end of rant.
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
Around 1,000.... and where I am from -NYC metro area- we give around 300 per couple for a wedding gift...


it's pricey...so I kept this in mind for my bridesmaids...

I have a large bridal party so the shower/gift will be less per person (10 bridesmaids)
the dress was 170
alterations are a 40 max.
and I told them to give out their own shoes as long as they were black
 

Sabine

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
3,445
I just spent $700 for the bridal shower alone (costs including flight and child care as well as gifts, etc.). The cost of everything was split 5 ways among the other bms as well.

I don't want to think what the total will be for the whole wedding, but it will definitely be over $1000 since I'll be flying then too, along with dh and ds.

I think it's much more reasonable if your bms are in town!
 

bebe

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
2,845
I have a question -

how many brides pay for the BM's dresses ?
 

sillyberry

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
1,792
bebe said:
I have a question -

how many brides pay for the BM's dresses ?
I've only been a bridesmaid once, but the bride paid for our dresses. It was a destination wedding in an expensive location, so she wanted to help defray the cost. I paid for alterations and shoes, and I did my own hair and makeup (and the hair and makeup of the MOH and other BM).

We didn't do showers or a bachelorette part7 (just a small dinner with the bride and other BM for which I picked up the tab), so there weren't a lot of additional expenses outside of just attending, period.
 

Brown.Eyed.Girl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 4, 2008
Messages
6,893
Hmm...

Dress- $130
Shoes - $60
Flight - $500
Nails - $30
Hair - $50
Wedding gift - $100
Separate bridal shower gift - $50

$920

Holy crap.

:-o
 

dawnabee

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 29, 2010
Messages
470
I havent been in a wedding yet but just recently (this past month) a friend of my FI's asked us to be in their wedding. The Bride has picked out a bridesmaid dress that cost $400 :errrr: (which the bridesmaids pay for around here) and they are celebrating her bachelorette party in miami so the flight plus stay at the place prob another $400 give or take. Thats already $800 not including the cost of celebrating at the bacelorette party (limo, club, spa treatment the MOH's plan) or a bridal shower gift. We would probably give around $300 as a gift for the wedding or maybe more but I told FI today that I'm not comfortable buying a $400 dress for someone I barely know or taking that kind of trip. He is friends with the guy so I really dont know how we are going to handle the decision... I think people should be more grateful when considering what others have to pay for costs when choosing things!
 

meresal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
5,720
Meg- I agree with you that it is probably around $1000.

Between the dress and accessories, the showers (and gifts), the bachelorette party, and the travel/accomodations for any events.

ETA: If I have to pay my own travel, like for a DW, then I am one of the people that will deduct that from the gifts.
 

megumic

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 8, 2009
Messages
1,647
Okay, just wanted to make sure my thoughts were on target. It's funny, I kind of laid out the expenses in advance for my BMs so everyone would have the chance to express discomfort or concerns before final decisions were made. Now that we're about 45 days out, it seems some are unprepared or have not expected the expenses -- it's frustrating. I feel like I know that even when I commit to be just a wedding guest I know to expect about $500 give or take in expenses between gift, hotel, any travel expenses, etc. As a BM, the responsibilities are of course greater and other expenses are associated with accepting that role.
 

Zoey.Z

Rough_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 25, 2010
Messages
1
Dress at Dinnel.com : $119
Hair: $ 40
Shoes: $ 60
and some other things I forgot, LOL
 

Lozza

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2009
Messages
123
Mine aren't spending anywhere near that much!

Dresses: $100 - $300 each (they're non-matching).
Shoes $100

I'm paying for everything else.
 

DearBuddha

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
698
Dress: $100
Shoes: $70
Bridal shower odds and ends: $100
Bachelorette party odds and ends: $200
Wedding Gift: $150 (she's one of my best friends)
Hair: Free as part of our gifts for being bridesmaids
Makeup: Free (did my own)

Total=$620, give or take anything I might be forgetting.
 

meresal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
5,720
Lozza said:
Mine aren't spending anywhere near that much!

Dresses: $100 - $300 each (they're non-matching).
Shoes $100

I'm paying for everything else.


Lozza, I personally wasn't just talking about the day of the wedding. I was talking about all the expenses thruout the entire time leading up to the event. Which will include travel (for some), hotels, gifts, money for planning/throwing bachelorette party and/or wedding shower. There are ALOT of hidden expenses that no one thinks about.

I know you didn't personally reply to me, I just wanted to point out that I wasn't just talking about dress and shoes. :wacko:

Meg, I'm sorry you are having to deal with that at the last minute. If you don't mind me asking, what are the things they are grumbling over? Is it hair and make-up for the day of?
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,169
Wow-bridesmaids are lucky over here. The bride pays for everything and I've never had to pay a penny at any of the weddings that I was bridesmaid in and I also got a gorgeous present at each. I did the same then for my bridesmaids.
 

amc80

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
5,765
I've been a bridesmaid twice, and the expenses for each were roughly the same.

Dress- $180 (No alterations needed on either. I guess I'm just the height/size combination where stuff just fits.)
Hair/Makeup - $80 - although I got some of this back because I ended up with pink eye from the make up :cry:
Bachelorette party - around $200-300
Hotel - $50-100

I'm not including the wedding gift, since that would have been given whether or not I was in the wedding party. I was allowed to wear whatever shoes I wanted for both, same with jewelry.

So average is just under $600. I will say that while I'm honored to be in the wedding party, I enjoy weddings much more when I'm not. I find that I'm generally pretty exhausted by the time the wedding actually occurs.
 

tigian

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 25, 2009
Messages
2,731
I've been a bridesmaid twice and my third time will be next weekend.

One bride paid for everything including hotel. (Really nice of her family!)

For one wedding, the dress was: $180
Shoes: $150
Hair: $100
Hotel: $200

Next weekends wedding, the bride paid for the dress.
Shoes: $50
Hair: $100
Hotel: $350
Travel: $150

It definitely adds up. We usually give a gift amount that would be the same as if we were just guests.
 

mrscushion

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
3,309
I think it's about $1000 for me because they have a $250 dress and a flight to Europe. Everything else -- hotel, hair, makeup, food, etc. I take care of and because we're all spread out across the world there isn't a bachelorette or shower.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
I think I'm a cheap bride. :rodent: MOH is my FI's sister, so she was going to come to the wedding regardless and it's in their hometown so no unusual travel expenses. The dress will definitely be under $200. Shoes probably $60 if she doesn't have some already that will work. No bridal shower that I know of and I'm totally ok with that. Hair and makeup I'm not sure on, but we'll probably do that on our own. So about $260-$300 above what she would have spent if she was just attending vs being in the wedding.
 

legallyspoiled

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 25, 2010
Messages
367
I've been a bridesmaid on several occasions. The part that ALWAYS sucked was the amount of cash you have to put into it and all of the crap (that you don't want and will never use/wear again) that the bride forces you to buy. It always puts a damper on the excitement and mood. Thus, I made it a point to lighten my bridesmaid's loads as much as possible. Here is how the break down is looking so far:

Dress: $98 (The dress is actually $199 but I am chipping in for half)
Shoes: $0 (I've encouraged them to wear a pair of silver or gray pair that they hopefully already own)
Hair: $0 (I've encouraged them to do their own. They do a stellar job of it.)
Makeup: $0 (My treat!)
Jewelry: $0 (Again, I've encouraged them to wear something that they already own.
Manicures/Pedicures: $0 (They can polish their own or they can join me for $25)

I'm completely in the dark about how much they plan on spending on my bridal shower/bachelorette party. However, I do plan on paying for my own air ticket back to the east coast so that they don't have to come to me.

Honestly, all of my bridesmaids are impeccable and I trust their style. I think that so many brides get caught up in their bridesmaids looking identical and that isn't what the wedding is about at all. When each bridesmaid looks just a little bit different, it adds so much character to the wedding! Plus, nobody is going to pay attention to your bridesmaid's shoes/jewelry (unless they are really cute). I just think all of that stuff is so silly and reeks 1990s. (Just my personal opinion.) If you check out all of the top wedding blogs and magazines you will see that nobody really does that stuff anymore. My bridesmaids have already said that they love being in my wedding because I am taking away all of the stressful/expensive parts.
 

Lozza

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2009
Messages
123
meresal said:
Lozza said:
Mine aren't spending anywhere near that much!

Dresses: $100 - $300 each (they're non-matching).
Shoes $100

I'm paying for everything else.


Lozza, I personally wasn't just talking about the day of the wedding. I was talking about all the expenses thruout the entire time leading up to the event. Which will include travel (for some), hotels, gifts, money for planning/throwing bachelorette party and/or wedding shower. There are ALOT of hidden expenses that no one thinks about.

I know you didn't personally reply to me, I just wanted to point out that I wasn't just talking about dress and shoes. :wacko:

Meg, I'm sorry you are having to deal with that at the last minute. If you don't mind me asking, what are the things they are grumbling over? Is it hair and make-up for the day of?

I can see how that would be the case for a lot of these brides, so I wasn't trying to suggest I am a 'nicer' bride! It's just that most of these costs don't apply to me.

My girls all live locally, so no hotels/travel etc... We don't do wedding showers or rehearsal dinners in Australia, and we've explicitly told our bridal party that our gift is them being in the party and we don't want anything else.

There is the Hens night (bachelorette party), but I have no idea what they are planning. And the one rule I gave them is it can't be too expensive because I don't want to put our guests out, so hopefully it won't be too bad.
 

ForteKitty

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 7, 2004
Messages
5,239
All my friends paid for their bridesmaid's dresses, and cover hair or makeup, and mani/pedis. it's the bride's way of saying thanks for spending all that money and time helping out with the wedding.

We typically gift about $250-300
bachelorette party- $600 (3 days in vegas, not including airfare since we drove)
bridal shower- $50
 

doodle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 22, 2008
Messages
1,810
Let's see, for the wedding of one of my best friends coming up...

Dress: $150
Shoes: $70
Hair: Unless she offers to pay for it, I'm doing it myself
Makeup: Same as above
Engagement Party: $100
Bridal Shower #1: $150
Bachelorette Party #1: $50
Bachelorette Party #2: $100 (travel to city, drinks, my share of party bus for that evening's transport, etc)
Bridal Shower #2: $50
Bridal Showers #3-5: free because I bailed out on going due to cost
Bachelorette Party #3-4:same as above

$670. Will probably wind up being more though. I love her, but it's turning into weddingpalooza.
 

Lozza

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2009
Messages
123
doodle said:
Let's see, for the wedding of one of my best friends coming up...

Dress: $150
Shoes: $70
Hair: Unless she offers to pay for it, I'm doing it myself
Makeup: Same as above
Engagement Party: $100
Bridal Shower #1: $150
Bachelorette Party #1: $50
Bachelorette Party #2: $100 (travel to city, drinks, my share of party bus for that evening's transport, etc)
Bridal Shower #2: $50
Bridal Showers #3-5: free because I bailed out on going due to cost
Bachelorette Party #3-4:same as above

$670. Will probably wind up being more though. I love her, but it's turning into weddingpalooza.

May I ask why this girl is having 3 bridal showers AND 3 bachelorette parties? Holey Moley!
 

meresal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
5,720
Agree with Lozza... Doodle, that is insane!
 

doodle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 22, 2008
Messages
1,810
Correction, girls--FIVE bridal showers. And I think she's doing so to torment me. Seriously, she's one of those people who can go to pay for shampoo at Wal-mart and leave the store talking about her best friend, (insert name of cashier she just met 1.49 minutes ago), so she's had a shower hosted by our group of friends from high school, one from her college friends, one from her sorority sisters, one from her side of the family, and one from her FI's side of the family. The bachelorette parties I don't really understand though, since everyone has been invited to all of them (FYI, planning a bachelorette party for 50 guests sucks). She's usually a very sweet, thoughtful person, so I think it just hasn't dawned on her how expensive it all is for those of us who are bridesmaids and feel obligated to attend it all. She's also horrible at saying no, so any time someone says, "oooh, I want to throw you a shower!", she says, "okay! Sounds great!" I've just started answering the phone when she calls with, "hey zilla! Which shower should I be at this weekend?" :bigsmile:
 

megumic

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 8, 2009
Messages
1,647
meresal said:
Lozza said:
Mine aren't spending anywhere near that much!

Dresses: $100 - $300 each (they're non-matching).
Shoes $100

I'm paying for everything else.


Lozza, I personally wasn't just talking about the day of the wedding. I was talking about all the expenses thruout the entire time leading up to the event. Which will include travel (for some), hotels, gifts, money for planning/throwing bachelorette party and/or wedding shower. There are ALOT of hidden expenses that no one thinks about.

I know you didn't personally reply to me, I just wanted to point out that I wasn't just talking about dress and shoes. :wacko:

Meg, I'm sorry you are having to deal with that at the last minute. If you don't mind me asking, what are the things they are grumbling over? Is it hair and make-up for the day of?

Actually, I am paying for hair and they are doing their own makeup, so it's more the total complete cost of having 1/2 the dress left to pay for, alterations, the shower (which I don't know the cost of...) and the hotel. I didn't ask them to get certain shoes or jewelry. I think she just didn't plan well, despite knowing all of these costs were on the horizon and then when she asked me about all of the costs she grumbled about it, after which I just felt guilty.
 

periwinklegirl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 8, 2010
Messages
1,007
Wow! You are all making me feel so much better about my wedding plans. I've been a bridesmaid, and while it didn't cost nearly as much as some of you have paid, it was while I was in a crunch in grad school, so the time was as much of a gift as anything else.

So, no bridesmaids for me. We're having a destination wedding, but really it's just a family holiday in Cuba during which we'll get married. No fuss, no wedding party and the hotel takes care of everything for less than $500. And the best thing is that we were already planning it, so it's not like anyone had to fork out for an expensive trip.
 
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