Parent gifts...based on who pays?

[AustenNut]

Is it expected to get wedding gifts for all the parents, or only parents who contribute toward the expenses of the wedding/rehearsal dinner?

In our circumstance one set of parents is paying for the wedding, rehearsal dinner, and most of the honeymoon. The other set (which is not in a good financial position ) is not doing anything to contribute monetarily, and since it's an out-of-town event for them, will not be doing much in terms of other forms of help. So we're just trying to figure out what's expected in terms of parents gifts at a wedding.

 

[Haven]

If you can, I would give both sets of parents gifts. We gave both my parents and my DH's father gifts, even though my parents paid for almost our entire wedding and DH's father didn't contribute anything at all. We wrote really nice, heartfelt letters to them thanking them for supporting us and for welcoming our partner into the family, so we didn't view the gifts as "Thank you for paying for our wedding" gifts, but more of "Thank you for supporting us in this very exciting time of our lives" gifts.

 

[Pushin40]

I think giving each set of parents a gift is a token of your love and gratitude towards them and should not be based on what their financial situatuin is.

I don't really udnerstand what is making you ask this question, to be honest!!

I say keep the presents special ,and in the same price range.

 

[mayachel]

I agree with Haven's interpretation of the gifts. I really see it as an opportunity to express gratitude for their love and support over my life time as we approach this life mile stone. In general I'd say the gifts are fairly equally divided. If you want to go that route but still want to do something "extra" as a thank you to the ones footing the bill maybe it could be at their next anniversary if it happens to be coming up, or as a specific, but private thank you gift after. I guess it also depends on what it is. Personally I feel motivated to send my parents who are paying for the wedding from soup to nuts away for a holiday weekend. But it's something I would do with a little distance from the wedding. In part because the intent is to put focus on them, and I think it would actually put focus on us at the rehearsal dinner to be like "hey, look at this shiny extra special thing we are doing for this side of the family."

 

[AustenNut]

Thanks for the info. Parent gifts aren't a tradition in my or my fiance's families. Until we hit the bridal world we didn't know about them and we were theorizing why they were done and our guess was that it was a token of appreciation for monetary support of the wedding. That's why I asked the question, and we're glad to find out what the reasoning actually is. We've never had any intention of passing out gifts publicly at the rehearsal dinner. If/when we do presents, it will be privately to each set of parents. Thanks for the clarification.