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ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair...

brazen_irish_hussy

Ideal_Rock
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Jun 13, 2006
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2,044
Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

If it was a drunken one night stand after they had a fight and she was really sorry sort of thing and used protection, no I would not. Otherwise, I would tell her she has the option to tell or I will. I would want someone to tell me if I were the one being cheated on. And like I said, if they are going outside the relationship and the other partner doesn't know it, they could get an STD easily. I could not live with myself if someone got HIV or something because I didn't say anything.

For those of you would would instantly tell you BF if they were being cheated on but never if they were the cheaters, What's the difference?
If they are in a bad relationship, they need to leave. I have known people in these relationships, some really terrible, but I still do not condone it. If mine went sour, I would have the common decency to end it before moving on. As for my love of that person not transending their indescretions, if they are the sort of person to do this, then they are not the person I loved. Sort of like the fact that I would do anything for DH in part because he would not ask me to do anything terrible. I love my friends because of who they are, if that person changes, I am not obligated to love them anymore.
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
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33,852
Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

soocool said:
megumic said:
soocool said:
Guess what? They are still together. He found out - from her. She still cheats. He doesn't care. Perhaps the other knows and doesn't care. Not all relationships are based on love from what I gather from their relationship. Their is based more on need. He needs a caregiver and she needs his money.

lots of Viagra.
 

Arkteia

Ideal_Rock
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Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

Agree. I would never tell, I can offer my advice if I am asked for it, but that it is all. If I tell, I may change a person's destiny, and it is a serious thing.
 

oddoneout

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
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3,002
Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

I guess I should've said I'd feel sorry for the wife too. I just assumed that a woman would have a female best friend and she would be the one cheating on her husband. I wouldn't take cheating from either gender.
 

atroop711

Ideal_Rock
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Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

one of my closest friends was in a situation like this but she was the mistress. I did tell her how I didn't agree with what she was doing but ultimately it was her decision. She did want to bring him to my wedding and I told her NO. I told her I wouldn't allow someone who did not value marriage and his wife be a part of my wedding day celebration. That decision did our friendship in. She was livid that she couldn't bring him to my wedding and we went our separate ways. :nono:
 

mrscushion

Ideal_Rock
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3,309
Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

Porridge said:
Nope. My loyalties would be with my friend, for good times and crap times. And it's none of my beeswax, it wouldn't be my place to get involved. I would encourage her to stop cheating, sort out her relationship and be fair to her SO. I wouldn't be happy if she asked me to lie and cover for her.
Ditto.
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

Pretty strident crowd 'round here huh! For all these folks saying they wouldn't be friends w/their cheating friend anymore -- I TRULY WISH people acted the same way around domestic violence. i.e. -- that MEN (and women) wouldn't tolerate that behavior from their "friends".

Wish we could peep into some dude-heavy forum & see how many of those guys would take such a stand on that issue!

To answer the original question: I ABSOLUTELY would NOT tell their spouse. Because I'm not an arrogant, meddling, disloyal prude with a god-complex.
 

Haven

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Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

decodelighted said:
Pretty strident crowd 'round here huh! For all these folks saying they wouldn't be friends w/their cheating friend anymore -- I TRULY WISH people acted the same way around domestic violence. i.e. -- that MEN (and women) wouldn't tolerate that behavior from their "friends".

Wish we could peep into some dude-heavy forum & see how many of those guys would take such a stand on that issue!

To answer the original question: I ABSOLUTELY would NOT tell their spouse. Because I'm not an arrogant, meddling, disloyal prude with a god-complex.
I'm really surprised by the amount of people who responded that they would end the friendship or tell the spouse. I would do neither. I would be a friend to my best friend, tell her the hard truths that she didn't want to hear (whatever those may be,) and be there for her no matter what. I expect exactly the same in return.

My best friend and I have been through so much together, I can't imagine ending the friendship because she cheated on her husband. That would feel like cutting off a limb to me. I would need a much stronger reason to do that.
 

AGBF

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Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

decodelighted said:
To answer the original question: I ABSOLUTELY would NOT tell their spouse. Because I'm not an arrogant, meddling, disloyal prude with a god-complex.

I keep asking people to reserve judgment until they have watched the movies "Jules and Jim" and "César and Rosalie" , but nobody has yet taken me up on the offer. Could the reason that you take the position that you do, deco, be not that you are not an arrogant, meddling, disloyal prude with a god-complex (not to imply that you are one, of course), but because you are French?

Deb, looking for an alternate reasonable explanation
:read:
 

decodelighted

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Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

Oui!!!

There are SPOUSES that wouldn't leave their S.O. over an affair! Thems some pretty wild standards of FRIENDSHIP. Must have same moral code! To the letter!

Other reasons to ditch friends: (If they)

* cheat on their taxes
* drive drunk
* tell a lie
* don't believe in your God
* shoplift
* use illegal drugs

:o
 

Arkteia

Ideal_Rock
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Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

decodelighted said:
Oui!!!

There are SPOUSES that wouldn't leave their S.O. over an affair! Thems some pretty wild standards of FRIENDSHIP. Must have same moral code! To the letter!

Other reasons to ditch friends: (If they)

* cheat on their taxes
* drive drunk
* tell a lie
* don't believe in your God
* shoplift
* use illegal drugs

:o

I do not know if you were joking or not when you made this list of reasons to ditch your friends - but at least you did not say you would TELL on your friends :appl: if they do all these things. I'd think these would be the reasons to HELP your friends. (Except for differences in religion - let's leave it to Medieval times :lol: )

And what's this deal about being French? Just because Flaubert was the first one to describe extramarital affair...
 

AGBF

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Re: ladies,if you knew your best friend was having an affair

crasru said:
And what's this deal about being French? Just because Flaubert was the first one to describe extramarital affair...

I don't think Flaubert had much to do with it. I think it runs deeper than that. Dans le sang. Could you imagine Frenchmen establishing a Puritan colony? Dressing women in grey sacks? I don't think so ;-).

AGBF
:read:
 
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