More News! and is this selfish???

[diamondbuggy]

IndyLady, I see that I have offended you. I'm very sorry, I meant no offence to anybody. I completely agree with you that LIW is about the serious stuff. In the short time I've been on PS I have already learnt a lot from all of you, and not just about diamonds and rings but the more important things as well. It is nice knowing there are ther people out there that I can relate to.

I just think that a lot of us have moments where we don't always think clearly (especially when it comes to our engagements and wedding days). Most of the time we just need someone to tell us NICELY that we're being irrational. I feel that some people were being unnecessarily rude and sarcastic. Sounds to me like Nicoleben already knew she was sounding a bit selfish and didn't need a lecture about it, but rather some good advice from people in the same boat. That's all I was trying to say.

I really do see LIW as a place where you can get some support from people who understand how you feel. I hope I haven't offended anyone else and I'm sorry if I have!

 

[damons]

IndyLady, I'm sorry, but your comments are uncalled for. There is no need to call anyone a baby.

Also, you said "we're talking about the responsibility of marriage, joining yourself, your soul, your families, your bank accounts, your debt, your name, etc. with another person. I see LIW as a place to discuss all of these things, and of course, rings and bands and venues, but I don't see it as a place to come and be silly and expect everyone to share in the temporary insanity that seems to come with the talk of an engagment ring."

REALLY??? I read these threads everyday, and I rarely see conversations about joining yourself and your soul. I see threads from girls who are excited that their boyfriends may or may not be ring shopping and how excited they are. Or some of the girls know that their boyfriends have the ring, and they post threads about how to keep their sanity because they are going crazy.

That's the beauty of this forum. Girls should be able to say whatever they want, whether we feel it's crazy or not. It is for support. There is no need for name calling.

 

[Indylady]

Diamondbuggy, I'm not offended at all. This board has a reputation for being filled with, well, silliness. LIW is so often taken as an anxiety ridden, high strung, air-headed giggle fest of a board; no, I don't want LIW to be a "serious" place, but it does make me cringe when I see threads that make me feel like we're living up to our rep.

Damons, you're correct, I also rarely see serious conversations on LIW. I see the word "girls" throughout your post; that's exactly how many LIW act-- like girls. We are able to say whatever we want, but you should also expect that other posters will post what they want in response. When you post a thread, you're opening up a dialogue; in effect, you're calling for responses. I don't see anything beautiful about a world that just pats you on the back as you explode in non-sensical bridal drama.

 

[nicoleben]

like i said before.. there is a such thing as being rude, and positive criticism. Yes, ive admitted tons of times throughout this board, i WAS, IN FACT, being selfish. no ones perfect. But i do find this place to come to, in order to get advice and hear from the other girls. The positive criticism really puts you into a different mindset, and makes you think, "yea, their totally right" When it comes to being rude, it makes people feel like they have to defend theirselves, and i just dont think its right. Im not mad at anyone, upset with anyone anymore, but i will admit, i was a little upset about a few comments and didnt want to come back on the board for that reason. No one should have to feel that way. Especially when we come on here to talk to other ladies in our position. Its hard when you have a bunch of friends who arent even dating anyone and your about to say "IM GETTING MARRRIED!" They really dont want to hear about every detail on your mind about whats to come. Lets be honest. This is my own little world to come to every night and chat with other ladies who can support me and encorage me to make the right decision! I love it.

 

[lucyandroger]

IndyLady, I see that I have offended you. I'm very sorry, I meant no offence to anybody. I completely agree with you that LIW is about the serious stuff. In the short time I've been on PS I have already learnt a lot from all of you, and not just about diamonds and rings but the more important things as well. It is nice knowing there are ther people out there that I can relate to.

I just think that a lot of us have moments where we don't always think clearly (especially when it comes to our engagements and wedding days). Most of the time we just need someone to tell us NICELY that we're being irrational. I feel that some people were being unnecessarily rude and sarcastic. Sounds to me like Nicoleben already knew she was sounding a bit selfish and didn't need a lecture about it, but rather some good advice from people in the same boat. That's all I was trying to say.

I really do see LIW as a place where you can get some support from people who understand how you feel. I hope I haven't offended anyone else and I'm sorry if I have!

Diamondbuggy, I happen to agree with you. I think LIW used to be a more supportive forum filled with other LIWs. Now it seems like a place for nonLIWs to come and lecture LIWs about how immature, selfish, not ready for marriage, etc....they are. Perhaps, it makes them feel better about themselves because they are already engaged/married?...I really don't know.

I'm engaged so not a LIW but I vividly remember this time in my life and try to offer compassionate advice.

Nicoleben, I understand what you were saying in your first post and subsequent posts. I don't think you're selfish or immature - Not that anyone can judge that from a few posts on the internet anyway...but whatever. Everyone is entitled to feel the way they feel and for huge things like getting engaged and married, of course there will be disappointment when things aren't going the way you imagined they would. It was quite clear to me that this was more of vent and commiserate post. I hope you still feel free to post your feelings and concerns as you go through this time in your life.

ETA - I would understand if LIWs stop posting though. I would be nervous to start a thread. You have to consider each word carefully or else the mob will determine you are *GASP* immature and the whole thread goes down hill.

 

[princesss]

I think LIW goes in waves. It is supportive, then it's enabling, then the engaged/newly marrieds come in and talk, it gets better for a while, it goes from enabling to ridiculous, and then the straight-from-the-hip types show up (TGal and Deco were regulars in LIW when I joined, offering very blunt advice when girls got too far into the dream that they were forgetting they needed to live in reality). I don't know that I'd say LIW used to be a certain way - it changes often enough that it used to be 15 different ways, KWIM?

I think the problem is (and has always been) that people give and receive advice very differently. What I think is sugar coating is as blunt as other people will get, and when I'm honest with people others can think I'm too harsh. I won't hesitate to tell people if I think they're getting ridiculous because I think if you encourage that, it can bleed into real life, while others say, "Better here than at home, let it all out, honey!" All types are needed and all types are welcome to keep LIW a supportive place without letting people go off the deep end.

 

[lucyandroger]

I think LIW goes in waves. It is supportive, then it's enabling, then the engaged/newly marrieds come in and talk, it gets better for a while, it goes from enabling to ridiculous, and then the straight-from-the-hip types show up (TGal and Deco were regulars in LIW when I joined, offering very blunt advice when girls got too far into the dream that they were forgetting they needed to live in reality). I don't know that I'd say LIW used to be a certain way - it changes often enough that it used to be 15 different ways, KWIM?

I think the problem is (and has always been) that people give and receive advice very differently. What I think is sugar coating is as blunt as other people will get, and when I'm honest with people others can think I'm too harsh. I won't hesitate to tell people if I think they're getting ridiculous because I think if you encourage that, it can bleed into real life, while others say, "Better here than at home, let it all out, honey!" All types are needed and all types are welcome to keep LIW a supportive place without letting people go off the deep end.

Fair enough. I don't disagree. I guess I was referring back to when I joined and what drew me to the community. Maybe what I'm missing is the mix that you're talking about.

One thing that I've been seeing lately and to be honest it bothers me is when a few posters drop in and call the LIWs immature. I'm not even sure these posters went through a LIW period so they simply may not understand the roller coaster of emotions that go on during this time in a relationship. But really, how can you judge someone's maturity level from a couple lines they specifically wrote about their crazy emotions. It's just silly.

ETA - So basically what I'm saying is there's a difference between giving tough love/advice and just making assertions about someone's character/maturity level. I definitely agree with you that the former has its place on the forum but the latter is not helpful and is usually what gets the LIWs on the defensive.

Okay and the thread on hangout is exactly what I'm talking about. What's up with all the hating on LIWs??!!!

 

[Lauren8211]

Ohh, this is always a fun topic!!

The LIW board is completely different from any other area of the board, IMO. It definitely does do a lot of *recruiting* for new PSers. A lot of women start in LIW, and either love the PS vibe, or hate it. It can be a tough crowd here. No arguments there. While no one should be downright mean, telling someone they're being selfish for x, y, and z reasons is not "mean." Its just not. Yes, some people are more sensitive, and some posters really could be a little kinder, but... that's life. If you don't want to hear the advice that is administered a little more bluntly, then either ignore them, move on, or prepare to get frustrated at times. It's good to be challenged sometimes.

Also, obviously I don't want to stereotype, but LIW time can be a pretty immature time. I know it can, because I was an LIW, got my @$$ handed to me by old schoolers, and decided to stick around anyway. Now I often think the LIW board can be a bit immature, much like people thought of me a few years ago when I was an LIW. Ok, I still am immature.

Oh, and the "text speak" doesn't help the situation.

If u want 2 b taken srsly, u might want 2 type in real words.

 

[nicoleben]

ha i see where everyone is coming from..

and i sometimes shorten my words since im at work and typing.. or just trying to type very fast. I am well educated, and yes i have my times of immaturity, but i totally understand on the typing glitches haha.. sorry!

 

[nicoleben]

i also wanted to mention that the soon to be SIL and i were talking about weddings. We are both planning now, and thats completely fine. She wants an october or november wedding and im still stuck on september. haha. so the month speel worked out.. We are even asking each other for advice. It is fun to have someone to talk to. The advice given on the board was very helpful!!

 

[diamondbuggy]

Nicoleben, I'm so glad everything worked out for you!

 

[Prana]

Not a lady in waiting, but figured I'd chime in anyway.

Your first post did come across as immature and selfish. That being said, you probably wrote it in the heat of a 'moment'. You've since explained yourself better. And A LOT gets lost in translation through typing. As another poster pointed out, you read each post with the tone that YOU think it is written in, which is not necessarily the way it was intended to come across.

Everyone reacts to being a LIW differently. There are a lot of emotions that go along with having to wait for something so important. This is not the group of ladies that gets randomly proposed to, out of the blue, total surprise. This is a group of ladies who are waiting, at times painfully, at times for very long periods of time. A lot of emotions can build up over that time, and they are all ugly emotions-jealousy, anger, anxiety, resent, sadness etc. At least you didn't verbalize your feelings to your FBIL his FF or your FMIL. You wrote it down for a group of strangers, who in turn let you know how they interpreted your post. It's all OK.

And for my own story-We had intended for our wedding to be in June of this year. The wedding venue didn't have any Saturday's in June, so we chose May 29th. DH brother was married on May 28th 2005. They were pissed at us! They made all sorts of comments to my MIL about us getting married on 'their weekend'. They even said something to my mother about it, to which my mother responded by looking at her like she was insane, and telling her that my cousin also was married on May 28th, and that her and my dad were married the week before on May 22, 33 years prior, and asking her what the big deal was. It got really sickening, all she would do was tell whoever had ears that we were getting married 'the day after their anniversary'. It just made them look stupid. I never responded to any of it. And my inlaws don't like her or their son, so they would just respond with silence as well.

My husband and my good friends were engaged the week before us. They both knew the other was going to propose. My husband had been scrimping and saving for 6 months, carefully selected the diamond, custom made the band etc. He told his friend about it the month before he proposed...our friend promptly ordered a ring off blue nile and proposed the weekend before my husband proposed. I was pissed, but honesty, who cares? No thunder was stolen, and we got to plan our whole weddings together! They are getting married in August. It was so much fun to compare notes, share our bargains etc.

Point being, plan what you intend to plan, as you have always intended to plan it. You are going to be getting engaged soon, plan your wedding accordingly. Don't worry about FBIL and his FF. They could fall apart from now to December. And do not change your September wedding date just to keep the peace. Nobody has dibs on it, not you, not her. She can continue on as she always intended as well.

Sorry for the long-winded response!

 

[Prana]

And I just saw that she now wants to get married in October or November, so nevermind!

 

[lilyfoot]

One of my husbands best friends proposed on New Years (which was when my DH orignally planned to propose!), and my DH proposed to me on Christmas (of the same year). Then that couple decided they were going to get married June 12, which just happens to be OUR dating anniversary!

Fast forward a few months, their engagement and relationship are completely over, meanwhile me and my husband are (obviously) married, and incredibly happy.

Things don't always happen the way you think they will, that's for sure!

That's why I always say: focus on YOUR relationship, not everybody else's.

 

[Winks_Elf]

I only made it to the beginning of page two of this thread, but this is a thought...

Considering how tight everyone's budgets are these days, and the fact that both your future fi and his brother want to get married in September, what about planning a double wedding? It would save a lot of money for both couples, if you and your future SIL can come to an agreement on colors together. You said you weren't planning a big wedding; you could share the cost of the meals for the grooms' relatives, and the DJ as well. I realize a gut instinct to this suggestion would be "I want my own special day", but think about it. Double weddings are rare, and it would definitely be an event the guests would not soon forget.

 

[PrincessNatalie]

Okay and the thread on hangout is exactly what I'm talking about. What's up with all the hating on LIWs??!!!

What thread on Hangout? I just went looking for one and I cant see anything?

If anyone thinks its bad here, go and have a read the knots boards, I dont contribute there but do have a read occasionally when I want some entertainment. Talk about harsh lol. Some of those girls are mean for no apparent reason, its like a "who can be the biggest biatch" fest. They dont appear to have any sort of filter sometimes too, the claws are constantly out.

EVERYONE here is comparatively lovely

 

[FrekeChild]

You know, I remember back in the day...oh around 2.5 years ago, joining PS after stumbling upon it via google's "Tiffany Swing Ring". I joined the LIW boards and became a huge contributor. And I had my @$$ handed to me on a platter when I very plainly said to a certain married poster whose main message was "Don't give your milk away for free!" aka don't have sex until you're married, "Get out, this isn't your section of the forum". Well, Deco was hanging around then and...put me in my place.

I know the LIW game. Elle and I went through it together--although I felt as though she had an easier time of it...We first went ring shopping February 10th, 2007. I finally was proposed to December 19th, 2008. Yeah, that's basically TWO YEARS of solid waiting. Two years of going to dinner and thinking, "OMG is this IT?!?!?!" Etc.

So yeah, the current LsIW may sit there and go, "Oh what do they know? They're all married and stuff." Well guess what? We do know. I promise you that even if some of the "old marrieds" that comment over here, haven't been through the LIW pain and suffering, they still give good advice. And they've often seen close friends or relatives go through LIWitis. I saw my (now) SIL, who is 13 years older than her brother (my husband) and had been dating her dude for almost 2 years longer than we had been dating, have multiple LIW breakdowns. Now they are engaged (after us, mind you) and she's having more breakdowns about why he has no interest in wedding planning. So even if I hadn't gone through it myself, I've still seen it up close and personal.

Getting away from my original point, but you know what? If I hadn't had my @$$ handed to me on a platter by Deco, I probably wouldn't have stuck around. Who wants to spend their days talking to a bunch of "rainbows and puppy farts" pushovers anyway? I'd rather hear everything--sarcastic, snarky, hilariously funny, nice, sugary sweet, brazen, blunt etc. Whatever!

You just have to grow a thick skin. Thats all.

Oh, and ditto Princesss. And IndyLady. And obviously Elledizzy (who had her @$$ handed to her by TGal once upon a time!)

Edited to capitalize an "I". Nicoleben, I have also found it hard to read your posts. But I'm weird like that.

 

[luckynumber]

Now I feel I must have my a$$ handed to me on a platter to truly belong on PS

Why do I get the feeling some posters will only kindly oblige?

 

[blacksand]

I'm very much an impatient LIW. Maybe a bit more patient than some, but still, definitely a LIW. Not old, not married, just waiting. But I joined this forum, and not any of the other similar forums, precisely becasue people here seemed to be straight shooters. I love the people on this board who come in and tell people to chill the eff out when LIWitis overcomes them. It drives me crazy when I see posts containing red flag after red flag (nota bene: I am not talking about your post, nicoleben, just a general comment), and pages and pages of responses saying nothing but "oooooooh....that's so exciting!" I wait and wait for the other shoe to drop, and....nothing. Sometimes I'll comment myself, but I'm still fairly new [read: timid]. I haven't been here long, but I've definitely noticed an increase lately in these kinds of posts, and I've spent more time than usual waiting for an old-timer to come in and put somebody in somebody's place. So I guess it does go in waves.

Again, nicoleben, this isn't specifically directed at you, so I'm sorry for threadjacking a bit. As I'm sure you have realized by now, if you ask "Am I being immature?" and someone tells you you are, you really can't be offended. I know you've since moved past it and I'm glad things are working out for you and your FSIL. But I have to say, I'm glad people posted their true opinions here, offensive or not. This is what I love about this forum.

Now I'm about to start my own thread, because there's something on my mind I want to clear out. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get told I'm being immature and selfish as well. Come join the fun if you like!

 

[damons]

Okay and the thread on hangout is exactly what I'm talking about. What's up with all the hating on LIWs??!!!

What thread on Hangout? I just went looking for one and I cant see anything?

If anyone thinks its bad here, go and have a read the knots boards, I dont contribute there but do have a read occasionally when I want some entertainment. Talk about harsh lol. Some of those girls are mean for no apparent reason, its like a "who can be the biggest biatch" fest. They dont appear to have any sort of filter sometimes too, the claws are constantly out.

EVERYONE here is comparatively lovely

The thread in Hangout is called "Posts you wish you'd see".

 

[Lauren8211]

Now I feel I must have my a$$ handed to me on a platter to truly belong on PS

Why do I get the feeling some posters will only kindly oblige?

It's only a matter of time!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I am an old married woman and though I did not have an LIW phase exactly like many of you are having, what I do remember very very clearly is being 23 years old... and thinking I was mature and being, well, not. I think many of the old hags who come in here to nag at the LIWs are in the same boat.

Oh how well I recall being 23 and being so clueless about relationships, so desperate for love and acceptance from my boyfriend, so willing to put up with endless drama and ridiculousness. And so sure I was temendously mature for my age Hey, I was living on my own accross the country, in graduate school, financially independent. Very mature for my age indeed! But it all did not mean a hill of beans when it came to relationships and the reality of sharing your life with another person.

No matter how mature you think you are at 23, you will undoubtedly be more mature in 5 years That's the way it goes. And knowing how silly and immature you were at 23 is only something you can realize when you are older, and wiser, and haggard and jealous (as the case may be).

I made a lot of mistakes, and I recognize those same mistakes in many of the posts I read in here. It is dang hard not to say anything, and near impossible to say something without sounding like a jealous old wench

 

[lucyandroger]

I am an old married woman and though I did not have an LIW phase exactly like many of you are having, what I do remember very very clearly is being 23 years old... and thinking I was mature and being, well, not. I think many of the old hags who come in here to nag at the LIWs are in the same boat.

Oh how well I recall being 23 and being so clueless about relationships, so desperate for love and acceptance from my boyfriend, so willing to put up with endless drama and ridiculousness. And so sure I was temendously mature for my age Hey, I was living on my own accross the country, in graduate school, financially independent. Very mature for my age indeed! But it all did not mean a hill of beans when it came to relationships and the reality of sharing your life with another person.

No matter how mature you think you are at 23, you will undoubtedly be more mature in 5 years That's the way it goes. And knowing how silly and immature you were at 23 is only something you can realize when you are older, and wiser, and haggard and jealous (as the case may be).

I made a lot of mistakes, and I recognize those same mistakes in many of the posts I read in here. It is dang hard not to say anything, and near impossible to say something without sounding like a jealous old wench

See Dreamer I happened to really like this post. I like it when married and engaged ladies share their experiences and relate to what LIWs are going through. When I was a LIW, I totally went through the jealousy, insecurity, etc...I think most (many?) of us did. I know I benefitted from the posts that acknowledged my feelings as normal or valid and then went on to give some tough advice on how to deal with them. But again, that's just me and what I like. I know if I were 23 again and someone responded to my post with "yes, you're being selfish and immature" or something like that...all that would have gotten out of me was an eye roll.

I just don't like posts that are dismissive of LIWs feelings/experiences because they are immature/being selfish or whatever. I don't know why I keep chiming in because I think people keep reading my comments more broadly than they're meant but I just can't help myself.

 

[sctsbride09]

Nicoleben- Very glad to see the date problem has been solved. Now you can just kick back and enjoy the ride. This is an exciting time in your life, love every minute of it!

 

[nicoleben]

Im so overly excited over everything! Its an obsession now i think lol. Once again, the advice was great, simmered me down and put my head in perspective. I thank every single person that responded to this post, blunt or not, for helping me do that. Its nice to see everyone's personal view be that their married, or engaged or waiting to be engaged. It is easy to forget about the most important thing, and keep the not so important things out. Ive always wanted a big "to-do" engagement. But now that i think of it, I just want it to be me and him! Were very close, and we do everything together. If someone wants to be married the same month as me, I dont care because all that matters is that i marry the man i love!

I ask people for advice, co-workers, anything! and they all tell me to RUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!! Run FAR AWAY! and i kind of get offensive to it haha..

 

[RaiKai]

To give some perspective (since it seems by reading this thread that my reply to the original post that yes, OP was being selfish and immature, was one of the posts that has led to all of whatever this has become....).

And I know OP has come back many times and said she appreciates all the advice, so this is just in a general sense and NOT particular to the OP at all though I am using this thread as an example here.

If someone asks a question "am I being selfish" and I respond "yes you are being selfish" how is that any less valid or supportive than someone saying "no you are not being selfish"? If one asks a question.....I do not answer based on what they MAY want to hear. One being I am not going to presume what they want to hear, and secondly, I answer based on what works for me in my reading of the situation from the details I am provided. If I think someone is being immature, I will say so too. In that mentioned thread on Hangout, I WAS thinking of this thread when I said thread titles I would like to see included things like "tell me if I am being selfish, but if you do agree I am being selfish I am going to jump down your throat and call you a big meanie".

And just because I say you are being selfish, or immature, well, there is no need to take it personally. I am not saying I dislike you, or you are an awful person or that YOU at your entire core are selfish or immature. It just means I think you are acting or behaving in a selfish or immature way. And, in your early 20's, it is my opinion that one is less mature then they likely will be in a few years. Whatever life experiences one has had, or however long they have been on their own, or with their SO, there is less maturity there than there will be in a few years. This is not a big personal attack against you!

I admit I have never really been a Lady in Waiting. Even in long term relationships I never felt like a Lady in Waiting as for me, either we both want to get married, or we don't, and if we are not on the same page or not open and communicating about it...then why would I want to marry them anyway? Part of why some of these threads rub me the wrong way is that I do not like to see women who seem to be "waiting" for someone else to make a "decision" like deciding to propose or marry them. I think it is silly and immature to make engagement chicken, or think about ways to "get him" to propose. If a guy wants to marry you, he will. And if you want to marry him, ask him! It just does not fit with me as a person, or in my life, to play all these guessing games about what he may or may not be thinking, or to get into arguments with your BF about engagement over and over. It really rubs me even more wrongly when I see a post with someone who is SO focused on engagement or marriage, and is ignoring massive red flags, because the wedding or marriage has become the goal.

And a lot of this comes from my own sense of identity, and life experience, including my own experiences with relationships, and particularly in the context of being with someone where it all just fits naturally, the communication flows with complete openness and honesty, we were both on the same path, we are both self-aware, self-responsible, emotionally open and vulnerable to one another, and we truly feel blessed to have come together when we did - after a few rough lessons learned with other people. It is amazing to be in a relationship like that and with someone that amazing. It is easygoing, and stress free, and just natural. And I so much wish other young women would trust that in the end the things that are meant to be, will be, and that you can't force a square peg into a round hole, no matter how much you try. It will never quite be right, and in a few months or years, I will see you on The Nest talking about how your DH still does not have much time for you, still does not really talk or listen, or worse. Because marriage does not change a thing about who you, or your BF, is, or how you relate. Unfortunately, until you ARE there, you often don't get it, and yet I still try because I find it sad to see women settle for so much less in not only their relationships....but in themselves. Now many women on here ARE with some great men, and they do have all the things above and are on the same page. But, I will say, the majority I see are not, because they don't even know enough about themselves yet to make healthy choices in relationships and their lives, and I find that so saddening.

I am not one to coddle. This does not mean I am not compassionate, or that I cannot empathize, but as I fully believe in people taking self-responsibility for their choices in life, and for themselves, and their feelings, I will not really coddle someone if I think they are being a bit...selfish or whatever else. I will speak honestly and directly. I spent YEARS moderating on a site specifically for relationships (and was considered quite helpful around there so I know I am not a completely evil person!), and I see the same stories play out so many times, and it is frustrating to see people who do not take responsibility for their own feelings, or allow others to take responsibility for theirs, as I truly think transformation - and genuine maturity - come from taking that responsibility - including admitting you aren't perfect (and there is nothing wrong with that!). And part of being an adult is also being able to hear advice you MAY not like and not take it personally, and defensively, and consider it even if you then decide it does not work for you.

Really, I DO care. I DO care to see the women on here stand up and be strong, independent, loving, warm, healthy, aware, amazing women. I care to see the same in men that visit these forums. I care very much to see strong, amazing and healthy relationships and marriages. And because I DO care, I don't always act all warm and fuzzy when the truth, for me, is a bit harsher.

So, that is my own thoughts, and believe me, I would say my tone, and the tone of most around here, is far gentler than it is on some other boards.

 

[monarch64]

RaiKai--that was a really great post. You and I think alike when it comes to reality vs. romance.

NB--it truly is an exciting time in your life. It sounds like you've gained some insight from the responses on this thread. I don't have much to add so I will just say that I hope your proposal comes soon and that it is everything you'd hoped for!

 

[Amys Bling]

any news on the possible future SIL?