is your SO a JUNK accumulator?

[Dancing Fire]

we have bags of old clothes and many other useful items around the house that i wanted to donate,but my wife said we can still use those items

 

[kenny]

ARRRRRRRGGGGG - YES HE IS!
It drives me crazy

We have a very small house and every day he comes home with more and more CARP!

I HATE clutter.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

DH is definitely more of a keeper just in case person than I am, but I think we have a pretty even balance. One area where he could learn to purge is with his wardrobe. His ex never let him buy clothes for himself because she thought it was too expensive and he worked in construction, so he's used to keeping and wearing things forever. When they split up and he got control over his own money again, he changed jobs-from in the field to in the office- and had to start buying clothes (which, admittedly he needed), but he still hasn't gotten rid of the old stuff. Once a year I go through and get rid of the old holey/unmatched socks, undershirts and boxers and we have a deal that for every new item of clothing he brings in, one old item goes in the Salvation Army bag.

I'm a purger, it's an illness. Unless it's valuable (money or sentiment) or a picture, nothing is sacred.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

You know that show on TLC called "Hoarders"? That would be my husband. I swear he would save his junk mail if I didn't throw it out before he saw it.

Luckily his junk-collecting has gotten better and he even spent a weekend cleaning out his junk in our basement before we moved...but it will build up again, I have no doubt. And now that we have more storage space he will feel it's a perfect opportunity to store more junk. And then he wonders why he can't find anything.

 

[TravelingGal]

My dad did this. It was a disease. He was crazy. Bonafide cuckooroo.

Case in point:

A few years ago, when we were moving him from my apartment to a senior apartment, he threw things in bags and told us to move them. My bro and I decided to check out what exactly we were moving. In the bag, among other bits of pure junk were bottles of my old clotted nail polish, yellowed and crusty peppermint candies (the red and white ones you get at restaurants) AND candy wrappers. When we confronted my dad, he yelled at us and said he needed all that and to shut up and move it.

My SIL, who is sweet, softspoken and never says anything bad about anyone quietly said, "Yeah, your dad IS crazy."

When my parents lived with me, our apartment was a junkyard. It was depressing, but I couldn't change my dad. I just developed a twisted sense of humor to deal with it all.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I think we are both the junk accumulators. We have 2 TV's (working, but not being used) and several bags of clothes and toys to donate, but we can never find time to get them out of the garage/spare bedroom.

 

[winelover23]

Do fishing poles count as junk? He must have 37 fishing poles. He also has the clothing issue where he won't get rid of stuff but I "accidentally" donate those items to the goodwill on his behalf.

 

[zoebartlett]

My husband and I both have a habit of collecting random odds and ends, but I'm the one that goes through things occasionally and throws away the junk. We have a box of envelopes and hundreds of pens it seems in a zip-loc bag, along with 3 calculators and 5 rulers. I think it's okay to toss the whole thing in the garbage at this point. Does anyone need cables? We have a ton. We have no idea what they go to or why we have so many, but we do. My husband keeps trying to tell me that we may need them some day.

 

[RaiKai]

No. Neither of us like having a lot of "stuff" around (I probably have a bit more than him, but even then it is a lot less than most!). He is even more of a firm anti-accumulator than I am.

If we aren't using it, and do not have a firm plan to use it (other than "it might get used one day"), it gets donated. We also tend not to buy too much "stuff" in the first place as we don't like having it around.

We definitely do not like "junk" though, we do have stuff around - like fine art and art supplies, sheesha pipes, instruments, books, clothing (that we wear!), sports equipment, sports gear and sports clothing, lots of camping gear, and that kind of thing (all stuff we use frequently), but we don't have "collectibles" or "nick-nacks" and that sort of thing.

 

[lilyfoot]

I'm a purger, it's an illness. Unless it's valuable (money or sentiment) or a picture, nothing is sacred.

I'm a serious purger also, I will get rid of just about anything.

My husband, on the other hand, is definitely a pack rat. He doesn't pick up things on the side of the road, or bring home junk, but he keeps all boxes from items we buy, receipts (even for stupid stuff like a fast food purchase), etc. Luckily, he doesn't like a cluttered house, so our apartment is nice and clutter-free.

Just the other day we went through our hallway closet (which is filled with only his clothes), and he got rid of more than half of the stuff in there, because it was from YEARS ago, and a style of clothing which he no longer wears. But I have to sit there and go through the stuff with him, or he'll just keep it all.

He's got boxes of stuff at his moms house, which he's done round 1 on, and wants me to sit with him to go through the stuff again Random items I saw in one of the boxes includes a pair of Burberry boxers which are really ugly, too small, and still in the box; a bike license plate with his name on it (he doesn't own a bike, and he's not 12), etc .. oh, and an entire BOX of PENS. Not even nice pens, just random cheapo-Bic type of pens.

Oh well, the guy doesn't really have any seriously bad habits, so this is something I can definitely put up with

 

[isaku5]

ARRRRRRRGGGGG - YES HE IS!
It drives me crazy

We have a very small house and every day he comes home with more and more CARP!

I HATE clutter.

I hear you loud and clear!!!! Every place he can put his 'collectibles' is jam-packed, AND, get this - I'm not allowed to touch any of of it .

He's a hoarder and knows it, but can't/won't do anything about it.

Any ideas would be most helpful. Should I 'secretly' take a couple of things daily/weekly from his 'stash' and see whether he notices???

 

[tyty333]

Nope, my hubby hates clutter. He ties to throw everything out that isnt currently being used. I agree with him most of the
time because I'm not much into having clutter around the house either. There are some things I do question though...like
why does he have to have 7 different hammers. Yes, I understand they are different but 7? Really?

 

[kenny]

ARRRRRRRGGGGG - YES HE IS!
It drives me crazy

We have a very small house and every day he comes home with more and more CARP!

I HATE clutter.

I hear you loud and clear!!!! Every place he can put his 'collectibles' is jam-packed, AND, get this - I'm not allowed to touch any of of it .

He's a hoarder and knows it, but can't/won't do anything about it.

Any ideas would be most helpful. Should I 'secretly' take a couple of things daily/weekly from his 'stash' and see whether he notices???

I do that.
SHHHHHHHH!

 

[packrat]

Yes, he is. Before we got married, *I* (not he) went thru his spare bedroom which was used as the "open the door and toss it in and shut the door" catch all room, and found catalogs from several years prior. Guess what, you can't order from it, why do you have it? He said he uses that stuff as "reference". To what, I don't know. I tossed SO much stuff. And still, years later, we have huge tubs in the garage attic where he has magazines stored. He swears someone will buy them-so fricken sell them already. He's not one to clean up after himself or even as he goes along either, so..he's got our shed in the back-it's slightly bigger than a 2 1/2 car garage-and you can't even walk into it w/out picking your way and stepping over crap. I've whined and moaned and bitched and bellyached and threatened and it still doesn't matter. He grew up like that-his mom is like that. I can't function that way. I get mad, and I get mean. My brain can't handle clutter and chaos.

The problem here is that he has several hobbies that require lots of equipment, lots of clothing (for hunting etc) and lots of space. We have severely limited space here, and when things aren't kept where they belong, it's horrible.

My Gramma w/the Kitties...she has paperwork from before I was born that she "has" to have-doesn't have the stuff it came w/anymore, but she needs it. However, she had about 4000 sq ft to stash everything. Every peanut butter, Miracle Whip, Country Crock, every single glass or plastic container she used the contents, was washed and kept. Buy a piece of pie at the grocery store, and it comes in that pie shaped plastic thing, she's got it. And she fought and hollered at my parents when they started going thru it after grampa died. She wanted to have an auction..b/c "People buy that stuff" uh..no, they don't.

 

[rockzilla]

ARRRRRRRGGGGG - YES HE IS!
It drives me crazy

We have a very small house and every day he comes home with more and more CARP!

I HATE clutter.

I'm sorry, Kenny. I know how much space those carp can take up! And smelly, too.

 

[bee*]

No, I'm definitely the hoarder in our relationship. I have every card I've been given since I was born and tons more things that I just cannot bear to throw out. DH is much less of an accumulator.

 

[kenny]

ARRRRRRRGGGGG - YES HE IS!
It drives me crazy

We have a very small house and every day he comes home with more and more CARP!

I HATE clutter.

I'm sorry, Kenny. I know how much space those carp can take up! And smelly, too.

Hahaha.
Holy Carp!

 

[4ever]

I'm a purger, it's an illness. Unless it's valuable (money or sentiment) or a picture, nothing is sacred.

This is me.


BF (a 30 year old man) however, still has all his childhood soft toys stored in his parents loft ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD and wont let them throw them away So that's the kind of person he is.

 

[Circe]

He isn't: I am! Luckily, though, he seems to be rubbing off on me. I've gotten rid of more stuff in the years we've been together then in all the years I lived on my own put together. So, for those of you married to hoarders - hold out the hope that they will learn from your good example? (A little bit of judicious prodding/the promise that if you really miss that random piece of, er, carp, we'll acquire a new one won't hurt either.)

 

[lulu]

Yes, he hates to part with anything. We finally achieved peace when he bought a pole barn about 5 miles from our house and moved the junk into it. But there is still the issue of the magazines. I have to admit I'm a neat freak but does he really need to keep 25 on his nightstand?

 

[Laila619]

My DH isn't a junk hoarder, he just tends to leave clutter lying around occasionally.

 

[yssie]

Haha. I'm the junk accumulator in this relationship. I hate throwing things away -you just never know when they'll come in handy..

I tend to collect all sorts of storage containers with special enthusiasm, and we've got containers of all shapes and sizes to hold all sorts of stuff that - I admit - we neither have nor are planning to obtain

 

[Hera]

No, My husband likes to throw everything away. I used to have problems throwing stuff away and now I spend a little time every day going through the junk mail and sorting through stuff that needs to be thrown away or put away. I'm always reminded of how things can get out of hand because my mom has a problem with hoarding. My husband does have his weakness, though, he hoards food.

 

[diamondringlover]

Yes he is and my 13 year old is just as bad, it drives me batty

 

[zoebartlett]

This thread reminded me of my grandma. According to my dad, she used to dedicate a whole room in their house to tissue paper and gift wrap. Whenever she was going on a trip, she'd pack her clothes in between layers of tissue paper. Kind of odd...

 

[Haven]

My husband comes from a long and proud line of carp collectors.

One of my conditions for moving into our home together was that he *not* move anything in that he doesn't actually use. It took a lot of time and emotional energy for him to go through all of the stuff he had in his tiny little condo, but he did it, thank goodness. Now we regularly go through our closets and our garage and donate things we're not using. We've actually sold a lot of things on Craigslist, as well. (Craigslist is also GREAT for getting people to take away your big, heavy junk that you no longer want. I had a gigantic drafting table that I didn't need and didn't want to bother selling, and that puppy disappeared within an hour of being posted in Craigslist's "free stuff" section.)

I'm not sure about most junk accumulators, but my husband's problem all stemmed from his inability to organize anything. I've always kept all of my paper files in, you know, FILE CABINETS, seems like the obvious solution. When I first saw DH's "organization method" for paper I was shocked--he threw all "important" papers into big shoe boxes, all of which he kept stored under his bed. At least he took the time to write the year on the outside of each box.

He also used his entire storage closet in the condo's basement to store empty boxes from products he bought over the last decade. That's right--his condo was filled with JUNK, and his storage closet (which was HUGE, by the way) was filled with boxes for items that (in most cases) he no longer owned.

Our house is too small to accumulate things we don't use, so now (thanks to me) my husband lives in a clutter-free, lovely little home. I just can't stand clutter, it drives me nuts and it impedes my creativity. Seriously. If I'm in a cluttered space, I can't do anything worthwhile.

 

[pinkstars]

We're both pretty bad with junk. I have a problem with figuring out how to get rid of things, so I think that if I could figure out how to organize everything, it would be easier to keep things...nice. I can admit that we have a side table full of mail, mostly bank statements and credit card offers. I don't know what to do with the bank statements, but it's a daunting task to shred all of the junk mail. I think our shredder stopped working too, but there's so much of it and I don't feel comfortable just throwing it away.

Ugh, I feel terrible with how bad we are about this. Maybe I can convince BF to take a trip to costco to find something to organize our things with.

 

[Haven]

We're both pretty bad with junk. I have a problem with figuring out how to get rid of things, so I think that if I could figure out how to organize everything, it would be easier to keep things...nice. I can admit that we have a side table full of mail, mostly bank statements and credit card offers. I don't know what to do with the bank statements, but it's a daunting task to shred all of the junk mail. I think our shredder stopped working too, but there's so much of it and I don't feel comfortable just throwing it away.

Ugh, I feel terrible with how bad we are about this. Maybe I can convince BF to take a trip to costco to find something to organize our things with.

Get thee a file cabinet! Or, at least one of those smaller plastic hanging file holders that you can carry around with you. David Bach has a great organizing section in one of his personal finance books. He tells you what to label each folder, and how long to keep files, etc. I bet your library has some of his books.
You can make the process fun by buying pretty file folders!

 

[Ninna]

He's gotten better...he's great with clothes and shoes now. I still have a major paperwork problem with him at home! He keeps piles in his office [3 to be exact] oh boy, I have no idea how he finds stuff while on the phone

 

[Callisto]

He had some hoarder tendencies until recently. Then he helped a friend of ours, who is the ultimate hoarder, move and now my SO just wants to throw everything away haha. He just saw how pointless keeping all that crap is when he saw an extreme case and is now motivated to change his ways. It was very humorous for me to witness.