Are your friends already engaged?

[crossmyfingers]

I noticed recently that FF and I are the only ones of our friends who are in a relationship but aren''t engaged/married. We have some not-engaged and not-married friends, but they aren''t in relationships at all. There''s no in-between, other than one couple with a really rocky on-again-off-again relationship. And I don''t mean out of our very closest friends - this is really out of everyone we hang out with remotely often. Weird!

It makes me feel a little silly. Especially considering we''ve been dating longer than most of our engaged friends have known one another. They all know we''ll be engaged soon, and it''s kind of like the spotlight is on us now since everyone else is engaged.

It''s not a big deal to me, just thought I''d get a conversation started and see if any other LIWs are in the same situation. Anyone else the last of their friends waiting to get engaged?

 

[Autumnovember]

Nope! None of them are engaged, with the exception of one couple because he got her pregnant

 

[4ever]

Nope, actually I''ll probbaly be the first.

It''s probably just as bad.

 

[beezygal]

nope.... hopefully I''ll be the first one. A couple might be engaged within 1-2 years though. Most of my other friends are still single.

 

[sillyberry]

Bf and I are both in our late 20s.

Amongst his friends, I think he''s the last one to be a serious relationship and not married. In fact, most of his friends have moved on to having babies - lots of pregnancies right now! Howeve, there are some still single and at least one divorce already.

My friends really run the gamut, though. I have friends who just celebrated their 10 year wedding anniversary and have three kids, friends who have been married for a few years, friends in long-term but unmarried/unengaged relationships, and friends who are still single.

One big difference is that most of his friends are precisely his age; mine span about 15 years.

 

[PrincessNatalie]

About 50/50

Some married, some engaged, some cant even get into a relationship, some in extremely long commited relationships with no rings involved, one divorced and enagaged again.

 

[RhubarbPie]

Mmm most of the friends that I hang out with everyday are not engaged (but a lot are in a serious relationship). I think I will probably be the first in my group to be engaged. But a lot of my friends that I don''t see on a regular basis (like from high school and a few from college) are engaged or married.

 

[Bellafelis]

Actually, all but two of my female friends have gotten engaged since Christmas, and 90% of my SO''s friends are married. It sure doesn''t help keeping my mind off getting engaged.

 

[RhubarbPie]

Date: 6/30/2010 1:08:33 AM
Author: Bellafelis
Actually, all but two of my female friends have gotten engaged since Christmas, and 90% of my SO's friends are married. It sure doesn't help keeping my mind off getting engaged.

Haha actually, whenever one of my friends gets engaged, I use it as an opportunity to remind my bf that we still aren't engaged. Its working because he bought a ring You should do that too!

 

[monarch64]

Well, this LIW is 33, divorced, and my SO and I have friends who run the gamut from being married for 30+ years to being 22 and 30 and no engagement in sight, and everything in between. We don''t run with a particular circle of people who are at a definite stage in life, so yes, we have some friends who are engaged, some who have been married a few years or many years, some who are on their 2nd or 3rd marriages, some who are just dating, etc.

It''s a different story, I think, for those who are younger/college age or just out of college. I remember going through that in my early-to-mid twenties, that is, the experience of watching everyone the ex and I ran with get engaged and married within a period of 2-3 years, and I admit it was more difficult waiting for a proposal back then than it is now at this point in my life. It''s hard to remember that life is not a race, and that others'' expectations of you as a couple do not have to match your own, when everyone seems to be taking the plunge at roughly the same time as far as engagement/marriage/having children. Follow your and your partner''s pace--peer influence can be a mighty force so make sure your reasons for making certain commitments are in line with what you truly want out of life and from your partner.

I''m very excited and somewhat anxious to get engaged, but I''m happy knowing that my SO has been planning something surprising and special for both of us for awhile, and as much as my anticipation threatens to get the best of me sometimes, I have to tell myself to just relax and let things happen according to his proposal plan because it is his moment too. We do have some friends, a couple who is about 15 years older than us, who just got engaged a couple months ago and are getting married Labor Day weekend, and man oh man am I envious that they''re already on to the planning stage and for the most part have everything nailed down! I''m ready for OUR moment!!! even though we will likely elope!!!!!!

Sometimes I feel like it''s less about the proposal and more about just knowing marriage is definitely going to happen and when...I''m a planner and the unknown just kills sometimes.

 

[4ever]

Date: 6/30/2010 2:09:04 AM
Author: monarch64

Sometimes I feel like it''s less about the proposal and more about just knowing marriage is definitely going to happen and when...I''m a planner and the unknown just kills sometimes.

I can totally relate to this. I''m very much a planner- if I plan for and think of every possible outcome I am in control of the situation. Having BF take the control on the engagment frount kills me a little (but I did still manage to help pick the ring

).

In such situations it''s does well to remind myself that it is pointless to worry about something that is out of my control and to just let it go.

 

[Mashira]

I was actually the first of my close friends to be engaged, but that engagement broke off
after three years. (long long story)

Since then two friends got married, one of which is now divorced. Another friend will be
getting engaged in August. The others are not in relationships. I'm 21 (22 in August) and
SO is 27 (divorced). Amongst his friends, he and maybe two or three others are not
married or engaged.

I learned from the first engagement, and my friends quick (after one year) divorce that
despite the fact that I'm itching to get engaged because I want to be on my way to the
alter, it's a matter of the relationship being in good health, not the rock being on my
finger.

Now that being said... I'm still horribly impatient... what can I say, I'm still a woman!

 

[MayFlowers]

I know a lot of people who are engaged or married. But, within our close group of friends, there is only one married couple. No one in our group is engaged and only one girl is single. Everyone else is in a relationship. I think it will either be me and SO or one other couple who is the first to get engaged. Two other girls are in very healthy and committed relationships, but both have told me they are nowhere near ready for marriage.

 

[kateydid05]

For me, it depends on what group of friends you are looking at...I have a wide age range of friends, anywhere from 23 to 40''s.

I have a core group of friends that are more like my family and all together it is 4 couples. One couple is in their mid 30''s, have been married for a few years and just had their second kid. Another couple starting dating, got engaged and married in the time span my boyfriend and I have been dating. They are 27. Another couple, she is approaching 29 and he''s like 31/32. They''ve been together 3 years and I don''t see engagement in the future. She''s been bugging him and set an internal ultimatum.

When you look at my friends that are closer to my age (25), I think only two are in a serious relationship right now, the rest are single. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years now and the spotlight is on us now as well. There are times when I hang out with my core group of friends that I feel a little out of place b/c they will all talk about marriage stuff, but then I remember I am younger than them and working at my own pace. I can''t compare the way things are going in my life to people that are older than I am.

 

[lilyfoot]

None of our close friends are engaged or married. There are relationships in our group ranging from less than 1 year - 5.5 years. ETA: At this point in time, I think just about all of our friends are in a relationship.

My husband and I got engaged at 6 months, and married at 10.

A friend of ours (who's like a brother to my husband), got engaged to his (constantly on-and-off) girlfriend this past New Years. Fast forward 2-3 months, and their engagement was off.

I also have an older brother and sister, and neither one of them is engaged or married.

 

[CourtLynB]

Yes!!! But, they''ve all been together since before the BF and I, with one exception. That couple is the most recent engagement and starting dating just about when we did, but they had a prior history together (some couples actually do break up, grow up and then get back together). So we''ve got 2 married couples, 2 weddings this year and now an egagement party this year and wedding next year.

I do take the opportunity to remind the BF that I will be one of the only ones ringless at bridal showers and bachelorette parties. And he doesn''t want that, now does he?

Even the girl who I can''t stand in my office got engaged a few weeks ago. She and her BF started dating after my BF and I. Boy, that wasn''t a good day.

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

I''m the exact same as you crossmyfinger!

I have a few friends that aren''t married or engaged yet but they aren''t in a relationship at all. All the rest of my friends are either engaged or married and a lot of them have kids. I have one set of friends (bf and gf) that have been together for a while but aren''t engaged yet but as we speak I''m helping him find a ring for her! So, I''ll be the last to get engaged and me and my BF have been together the longest by a couple years!

Oh well, I think it''ll be more special since we''ll be the last. (That''s what I tell myself at least haha)

 

[Jessie702]

I have such a mixed bunch of freinds, its about 50/50. I know that the SO and I''s freinds are pretty much all married. Theres not a single one in the bunch, but for my freinds, most are single...gotta love actors...and i can say that cuz i am one.

 

[HappyNewLife]

No, but I''m a lil older (35, and my Fi is 40+). My group is pretty diverse: gay singles, gay couples that aren''t married/engaged, soon-to-be divorced straight woman, single straight woman in her early 40s, single gay woman in her 40s, etc. Back when I was in my mid-twenties everyone I hung out with was straight and either engaged or married though!

 

[manderz]

Actually, everyone is pretty much married. He has a couple of friends that are not, but they are the less than savory people that I try to avoid talking to. You know, the kind that ask your boyfriend how he can stand to sleep with the same woman for 7 1/2 years

But, all of our close friends are married, and many of his brothers are already married or engaged as well, which is strange since he is the oldest boy in his family. We are best man/maid of honor in our best couple friend''s wedding this summer, and that will be it for his friends. My friends are pretty 50/50, I have lots of married friends, a few singles, and a few who are in long term relationships.

 

[Indylady]

A few are, but most aren''t.

SO''s best friends are both in serious relationships and they both plan to marry their partners. My three best friends are all single. Our greater circle of friends consists of all Facebook relationship denominations: single, its complicated, in a relationship, etc.

 

[kagordo4]

A couple of my sisters (sorority) are engaged, two are younger than me. One is older.

 

[maebelle]

All of our couple friends are engaged/married or will be in the next couple months! We''re going to be the last in the group to get engaged, but that doesn''t bother me. What does bother me is being made to go catch the bouquet at weddings when I''m in a committed 3 year relationship and frankly to not want to!

Several of the couples have been dating at least a year less than us, and while that does put pressure on us, we have a good excuse, he is in graduate school, but once he graduates, I imagine the pointed looks will get much worse!

 

[Snow_Miser]

Date: 6/30/2010 11:47:09 AM
Author: Grlsbestfrnd
I''m the exact same as you crossmyfinger!


I have a few friends that aren''t married or engaged yet but they aren''t in a relationship at all. All the rest of my friends are either engaged or married and a lot of them have kids. I have one set of friends (bf and gf) that have been together for a while but aren''t engaged yet but as we speak I''m helping him find a ring for her! So, I''ll be the last to get engaged and me and my BF have been together the longest by a couple years!


Oh well, I think it''ll be more special since we''ll be the last. (That''s what I tell myself at least haha)

I tell myself that, too Grlsbestfrnd!

Well let''s see... All of my friends are married, except one couple, and they never plan to get married. They have been together over four years, and have matching rings they wear, but don''t see the point in marriage. To each his own, eh?

My SO is almost a year younger than me, and all of his friends are married... all of them. And they all have children. It''s not too bad being the only single one when we hang out... except that time he left me alone with four pregnant/married girls. That was awkward.

SO keeps telling me that he feels bad, because it seems like we are always going to weddings, and he feels bad that I''m missing out on something that our friends are getting to enjoy. I keep hoping that by waiting so much longer that I will get a bigger rock. Maybe half a carat extra for every year I have to wait?

 

[paris29]

One of my good friends my age is married and has a daughter who is almost two. One of my other good friends is also a LIW. Everyone else is single.

 

[dawnabee]

Noone in my closest group is married or engaged yet... One of my BFs friends is engaged and although I like the girl she is just to set on "how big is your rock gonna be" (hers is 2cts) so it really puts me off wanting to make a connection lol she is probably happy i only have a 1.50

 

[nicoleben]

Actually for me, no.. for my boyfriend, yes.

My closest friends from college (2 r married, 1 is engaged, the other is single) and at home i have actually lost a friend because i was in a relationship.. and my other close friend is engaged, my best friends been in a relationship for 2 years and another friend is in a new relationship..

I am 24 years old, and i thought about it and came to realize everyone is finally starting to grow up.. some r even pregnant! which is fine with me, i think its adorable..

as for my boyfriend.... well... when we go out with his friends, their all SINGLE.. hitting on the girls, hooking up with girls, allllll the time. My boyfriend actually refuses to go out with them without me there, even tho i beg him to gooooo, and he just plain out refuses ... he said their his age (2and their still in lets sleep with as many people as we can and get trashed... Dont get me wrong, im down for a good time, but... i dont know.. maybe im just ranting haha...

but i do get what u mean. or did at one point or another.

 

[jenmarie]

At this point, my really good friends are already married. One couple in April, and another last October. Besides them, my other friends are pretty much single!

 

[amc80]

I''m 30, and most of my friends are married and are now having kids (anywhere from kid #1 to kid #4). I have two who are divorced, but they both were married at about age 21, divorced by 25. I have very few single friends. And that doesn''t include my coworker friends who are a bit older...single, divorced, divorced and remarried, etc.

Last year was the first year since 1998 that I didn''t have a wedding to attend...but that break is over, and I''ll be at one on Sunday (and I have another wedding that day which I won''t be going to...what''s with the 4th of July weddings?).

But now? It''s babies EVERYWHERE.