positive long road while TTC stories...

[Bella_mezzo]

some of us in the TTC thread who have been TTC for a while are starting to get pretty discouraged. If you want to share your positive stories, we'd love some encouragement to know that there can be a beautiful baby at the end of this painful and difficult road. I know the rearview mirror can be a little less painful and a little more optimistic, especially if there is a long-awaited baby sitting in the backseat, so maybe you can help us gain some positive perspective...

So, if you are comfortable, please share your stories of longs roads while TTC.

How long did it take you?
How did you cope with the process?
What helped you through the TTC journey (physically, emotionally, spiritually...)?
How did you and your DH continue building your relationship during this time?
How did you get pregnant (no intervention, IUI, IVF, other means...)?
or, did you pursue other ways to build your family (adoption, surrogacy....)

Thanks for sharing!!!

 

[Mara]

hi Bella...I don't have a story for myself, but I have a friend who lived in our old complex, her and her husband were trying for NINE YEARS. They tried everything... IVF, in vitro etc for years, all types of tests. I don't know all the details, but they had pretty much given up and were in the process of adopting when she found out she was pregnant! I believe it was natural. Now she has a beautiful, healthy little baby girl who is two years old. Truly a miracle.

I often feel as though our bodies and what happens inside them is a mystery, even western medicine doctors at times have told me that they are taking 'best educated guesses'.

Keep the faith, ladies... lots of hugs and positive wishes for things to come.

 

[Laila619]

How long did it take you?

It took my DH and me one year exactly, with perfectly timed cycles and unexplained infertility. We were finally pregnant on our 1 year TTC anniversary.

How did you cope with the process?

I didn't, at least not very well, lol.

What helped you through the TTC journey (physically, emotionally, spiritually...)?

DH and all of his love, optimism, and patience with listening to me vent. Also, having a great doctor who listened and knew what would work.

How did you get pregnant (no intervention, IUI, IVF, other means...)?

Follistim (injectable med)--it worked on the very first try. We didn't need IUI or IVF because DH's swimmers are perfect.

 

[monarch64]

Well, ~40 years ago it took my parents 4 years of trying to conceive my brother. They didn''t do any treatments and they finally got him, then told my mother to stop having babies. She and my dad wanted a big family, like 6 kids, so they kept trying, had a miscarriage after my brother, and then got pregnant again and had me 4 years after him. She wanted my dad to have his swimmers tested but he wouldn''t go for it, so who knows what the problem was. Bottom line is they didn''t give up and ended up with 2 bebes. So there you go. It can happen!

 

[Dreamer_D]

My MIL took 12 months to get pregnant with my husband, 8 months with her second son, and then 6 months for her third son. I don''t know the gory details, but she does not seem to think anything of it! I think back then there was a different awareness of TTC perhaps?

 

[lizzyann]

Hi there!

I have two stories to share....hope they can bring some optimism for all the ladies TTC.

My friend was trying for 3 years to conceive. She tried IUI, and eventually IVF. She went thru two retrievals. This whole thing was taking such a toll on her and her husband that they went into therapy and she started acupuncture as recommended by her Dr. I could see that they just weren''t themselves and as each of us ladies in our group got pregnant, I could tell she was having a hard time coping, not because she was upset that we were pregnant but because she wasn''t, you know? So....she literally had two eggs left and this was going to be their last try before taking time off from TTC....Dr''s put both of them in and by golly she was pregnant! She is due in a couple of months and is SUPER excited!

I had a different issue while TTC. I could get pregnant no problem, it was the staying pregnant that was the problem. It took me 6 months before I got pregnant with my DS, but en route had two miscarriages which were very hard and emotionally draining. My husband was AWESOME and so supportive thru everything. I truly am blessed with my little guy and so many people ask me now if I am hoping for a girl next time around and my answer is that I really don''t care if I have a boy or a girl. I truly will be happy with another healthy baby. When you go thru so many hurdles to get pregnant, you are just happy to have a little one you know? Hang in there ladies. It will happen and when it does - Seize the day!!!!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Date: 6/28/2010 10:41:04 PM
Author:Bella_mezzo

some of us in the TTC thread who have been TTC for a while are starting to get pretty discouraged. If you want to share your positive stories, we''d love some encouragement to know that there can be a beautiful baby at the end of this painful and difficult road. I know the rearview mirror can be a little less painful and a little more optimistic, especially if there is a long-awaited baby sitting in the backseat, so maybe you can help us gain some positive perspective...


So, if you are comfortable, please share your stories of longs roads while TTC.


How long did it take you?

How did you cope with the process?

What helped you through the TTC journey (physically, emotionally, spiritually...)?

How did you and your DH continue building your relationship during this time?

How did you get pregnant (no intervention, IUI, IVF, other means...)?

or, did you pursue other ways to build your family (adoption, surrogacy....)


Thanks for sharing!!!

After I stopped using birth control, I noticed that my periods were irregular so I borrowed a Clear Blue ovulation machine from a friend and found that I didn''t appear to ovulate. I went to a new OB, who told me that it was a result of my body still recovering from the Pill. I didn''t believe that at all b/c it''d been 6 months since I''d stopped using the Pill so I went to see an RE. He did a complete work up and found that I had PCOS (the only symptoms are the "pearl necklace" ovaries and an irregular period- I don''t have elevated levels of anything, I''m not overweight, no extra body hair, etc) and my DH had extremely low morphology. He said we''d never get pregnant without IVF/ICSI but we didn''t choose to pursue that. We did do 4 tries of IUI, which resulted in one chemical pregnancy. My husband went to a urologist who told him that he didn''t agree with the morphology assessment and that I''d get pregnant if we just kept trying.

Honestly, I wasn''t that thrilled with the idea of being pregnant, so I was more upset that the process wasn''t working and that we were paying a fair amount of money and putting a lot of time into it, rather than being upset that we weren''t having kids. I don''t know if that makes sense or not- it''s hard to explain. One of my non-negotiables was that my husband must be open to adoption, as I myself was adopted, so it was very easy to move on to that.

We ended up choosing the same agency I was adopted through and it was such an exciting, if frustrating, time! We brought our daughter home in April 2009 and in August, I found out I was 2 months pregnant. It was the shock of our lives and I have to say, I''m so glad that it happened after we brought DD home b/c we would''ve had to put our adoption on hold as our agency doesn''t allow concurrent pregnancies with adoption.

Most people would''ve been thrilled to find out they were pregnant after infertility but I was not. At all. I took 6 pregnancy tests, one blood test, and one regular urine test at the dr''s before I would believe I was pregnant. I cried for days. I burst into tears at the OB. I was depressed. I didn''t want to be pregnant and had just decided 3 days prior I didn''t want another child (or if I did, we were going to adopt again).

Only now have I started hearing that the fertility clinic that we used (which is associated with a university hospital here in the DC area) has a reputation for harshly grading morphology. Apparently we really don''t have fertility issues after all. So, instead of being one and done, we''re two and through!

Good luck to all who are TTC and a little reminder that you can build a family through means other than getting pregnant.

 

[fieryred33143]

I was a honeymoon, first time baby. However, it took my mom 5 years to conceive mt brother. She lost 3 along the way-two in 1st tri and 1 in second tri. She nicknamed my brother "my life" because of it. She doesn''t call him by his name :p My younger brother was conceived only 6 months after he was born. He was a complete surprise. My mom thought she had a stomach virus.

It took my aunt from my dad''s side 6 years to conceive my cousin (who is 3 days older than me) after having 3 children all within a year of each other.

And it also took my other aunt from my mom''s side 9 years to have a baby. She lost her daughter in 3rd tri and her son in late 2nd tri. When she got pregnant with her 3rd son, she went on bed rest at 15 weeks and he was born at 32 weeks. He just graduated from elementary school :p

 

[somethingshiny]

I definitely have a positive TTC story!

DH and I got married when we were 21 and 19. We got married young specifically to start our family. We intended on having 4-5 kids and wanted to be done by the time I was 30. I came from a large immediate family and my extended family is huge. I didn''t even want to be a mom until I met DH. Then I just knew that we should raise a family together.


"How long did it take you?"

After almost 6 yrs and a few miscarriages that were absolutely devastating, I got pregnant with JT. We had "given up" and we still believe he''s a miracle baby. He is now almost 4.5. We TTC for a couple years after we had JT, but nothing as hardcore as with JT. We gave up for the second time and were VERY surprised to find out I was preggo again. (currently almost 38 weeks!)

"How did you cope with the process"

Terribly. I was devastated every month that my period arrived and even more devastated when I miscarried. I wondered what I had done wrong, why I shouldn''t be a mom, etc. DH was always optimistic saying it would happen when it was supposed to.

"What helped you through the TTC journey?"

Honestly, I had very little support from friends or family. My mom spent most of her life trying NOT to get pregnant so she couldn''t understand my feelings at all. DH''s parents weren''t open at the time and really couldn''t even talk about a woman''s cycle let alone becoming "with child." My friends were still young and unmarried and had no idea why we wanted kids anyway. My sole source of comfort was my DH. It was hard on both of us. There were days I just couldn''t function and he''d have to hold my hand through it. As the years went by I made a new friend who is my current BFF. She is a few years older than I am and has a child although she never had to try. She could see how miserable I was and one day took me to lunch (we worked together. While we were waiting for our food she asked me what was going on. I began telling her my "sad" story and I was surprised that she wasn''t more compassionate. Then she said, "Look at all the blessings in your life. Your husband adores you, you have a job that you love, your family is healthy...." "God had given you opportunities that you''ve brushed aside because it doesn''t fall in with YOUR plans." I hadn''t realized before then how many times I said "no" to so many opportunities because I was too busy lamenting or timing or temping. Then and there I decided to say "yes" to every opportunity that came my way. This was around year 4 of TTC.

The spiritual healing for me happened at the same time. I had prayed literally a hundred times a day to get pregnant and carry. It was so bad that I couldn''t follow conversations at work because in my mind I was always thinking or praying about getting preggo. One night I had enough. I realized I couldn''t continue like that and I started to pray. I asked God to take it all from me. I confessed that I had put myself and my wants first and I knew it had to change. I asked God to give me comfort and strength even if I was never to be a mother. I prayed and cried for hours that night while DH was at work. I finally fell asleep and woke up a half hour later feeling like I had slept all night. From that morning on, life was good. God really did answer my prayer.

"How did you and your DH continue building your relationship?"

After I had my revelation and began LIVING again, we didn''t need to "build" our relationship. We loved each other and wanted to be together and experience new things. So we did. We began saying Yes to every opportunity and had a great time!

"How did you get pregnant?"

The only medical interventions we had were a hystosalpingogram and clomid. I didn''t have trouble getting preggo, I had trouble carrying. There was no "medical reason" that I didn''t carry.

I got pregnant the old fashioned way. DH had just gotten a new job, we moved to a new town, went to a great concert for my favorite singer and had wild drunken hotel sex! Oddly enough, the second pregnancy also came after a new job but we were just at home.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Thanks so much for sharing everyone, and keep 'em coming

Laila-I'm so excited for you!!!! (and your belly pics on the other thread are adorable!)

Logan-I remember parts of your story from another thread. It is great to hear the whole thing! DH and I really want to adopt as well. Ideally we'd like to have a big family through both pregnancy and adoption, but we need to wait until our first anniversary in October to start pursuing adoption according to most of the agencies we've researched. For us it seems to make more sense to try to get pregnant now since we're 31 (32 next week

) and 34, and to adopt in about 4-5 years when the fees won't be quite as much of an obstacle, I'll have more flexibility to work from home or be a SAHM, and biologically we are less comfortable with the higher-risks of pregnancy for me at 36-37+. But, if we're not pregnant by October then I think we'll start pursuing adoption and see what happens b/c we really want to start our family soon!

Fiery-Wow--your mom is a trooper, and so funny that she calls him "my life"!

SS-What a long road and yet what amazing blessings!!! I'm sure you can't wait to meet baby Lily!!!

I am just trusting that God would not have given us this incredible desire to be parents if He wasn't going to bring a child/children into our life to parent...but it is really hard to be patient and have faith sometimes!!!

Thanks again for sharing everyone!!!!

 

[NovemberBride]

Hi Bella, Here is my story, I hope it provides you and the other long time TTC''ers with some light at the end of the tunnel.

How long did it take you?

I went off BC and started TTC in August 2008. I never got a period after coming off BC. In December I had blood work done which showed no problems. I was prescribed Provera to bring on a period, which it did, but I did not get another one until I was prescribed Provera again in February. In March 2009, my OB/Gyn prescribed Clomid. I had blood work done after finishing Clomid that showed I did not ovulate. I made an appt. with a fertility specialist. Before going to that appt. I was to take the Provera so they could do more testing, and my dr. told me to POAS before taking it just to be sure. Much to my and her surprise, it was positive. At first she didn''t think it was a viable pregnancy because my hormone levels said I did not ovulate and I had very low progesterone, but I am now the very happy mother of a beautiful 7 month old girl. I have not gotten a period since I had her, so I am guessing that I''ll have to go the Clomid route again when we TTC #2.


How did you cope with the process?

Honestly, not very well. We had a couple of close friends that got pregnant very quickly in the time we were trying and that was very hard on me. But my DH was great and kept my spirits up the best he could.

 

[noelwr]

I don''t have my own story, but hope it''s okay to share that of others.

my mom wasn''t able to get pregnant and she knew all her life that she wanted to be a mother. she tried for years before seeking professional help. she even told my dad that she wanted a baby so much that if he didn''t knock her up she was going to start looking for another sperm donor.

anyway, I don''t know exactly what happened because every time she tells it the story seems to change a little, but it entailed her having an operation and that the embryo wouldn''t stay stuck inside (not sure if it was due to the operation), so she ended up spending most of her pregnancy lying on her back in a hospital bed. my brother was born a month early with a heart murmur, but all turned out okay and she was the happiest mother ever. with me, she just stopped taking the pill because she also wanted a girl and got knocked up quickly enough. she had no pregnancy complications.

my parents were married for 6 years before my brother was born. in that time, they "adopted" a teenage girl who was a daughter of a friend of the family and had 13 siblings. so they took her in for about 4 years, I believe. my mom loved her like her own daughter, but unfortunately she stole from my parents because she had a drug addict boyfriend and my dad sent her back to her own family. it wouldn''t have been so easy if they had legally adopted her, of course.

my sister-in-law also knew all her life she wanted to be a mother and also tried for years. when her little sister got pregnant before her, she wouldn''t speak to her for years until she also fell pregnant. she is Mormon and she tried to seek help from the church, but they just told her it was because she wasn''t performing her "womanly duties" enough. it turns out that it was her husband''s swimmers that were the problem. I believe the first child was with IVF or IUI and the three after (yes, there are four healthy kids in total now) were home-made. on top of all of this, she is also anorexic and she managed to have these 4 healthy kids. her husband was supposed to go for a vasectomy after the 3rd, but she is so happy that they had a 4th (2 boys and 2 girls). he''s had his vasectomy now.

 

[Puppmom]

Bella, both of my sisters required intervention - one IUI and one IVF. My oldest sister tried for 3 years and eventually used IUI with her first and then had NO problem getting pregnant with her second two. The next sister tried for 3 years, this included failed IUI, and she moved to IVF and now has a 3 year old. My oldest sister coped pretty well especially since her 16 year old sister (that would be me) came home pregnant when she was in the middle of year 2 of trying. That must have been devastating to her but she handled it like a champ and has always been close to my DD. My other sister didn''t handle it so well but I think that had a lot to do with the intervention process itself. Her body just didn''t handle it well so she was an emotional mess for a lot of it. The injectables REALLY got to her because of the things they did to her hormones and she''s terrified of needles.

When I started TTC, I totally saw a long road ahead of me so I thought I was mentally prepared for it. But, to be perfectly honest, I was really disappointed that I wasn''t pregnant within a couple of months. I feel like we''re bombarded with stories of people who get pregnant *right away*. I was constantly googling statistics and getting upset. Anyway, DH and I conceived in about 5 months. In hindsight, that''s no time at all, but it felt like an ETERNITY.

How long have you and DH been TTC?

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks Nov, Noelwr, and pupp!

We got married in October 2009 and haven''t done anything to prevent pregnancy since then. A few cycles we totally missed the window due to travel or being sick, so really I''d say 5 cycles. the last 2 of which were timed perfectly. it''s not really all that long, in the grand scheme of things, but it feels like forever. Both of our families are super fertile with lots of "accident babies" so this is not something either of us really thought would be an issue.

To compound things, I have a friend who has unexplained infertility (they are in year 3 of trying) and she is having a super hard time dealing with it.

Most of my other friends got pregnant within 2 months of deciding they wanted to have kids...

 

[drk]

How long did it take you? 4.5 years

How did you cope with the process? Focused on work (residency training, which kept me busy), travel, enjoying other parts of my life. I was extremely focused on TTC though, and it monopolized my thoughts. I was super envious of my brother who started trying when we did and had 3 before we had managed to have one.

What helped you through the TTC journey (physically, emotionally, spiritually...)? Support from DH, support via forums like PS and infertility forums. As much as my mother tried to sympathize, I got the "just relax" line from her more than I wanted to.

How did you and your DH continue building your relationship during this time? Traveled together, ate out. Nothing special. Just communicated.

How did you get pregnant (no intervention, IUI, IVF, other means...)? IVF in the end. First year of trying was just me temping and seducing/telling DH it was time to go for it. Less than romantic. Then I saw an RE about my PCOS and was worked up. Had a luteal phase defect and DH had issues too. Was treated with metformin and progesterone, then a few rounds of clomid that thinned my lining and dried up the CM. Then moved on to femara and got pg on the first round with it. Lost that baby at 8.5 weeks though. Then kept on trying, eventually moving to injectibles +/- IUI after that. I think we got a chemical pg after the second IUI 9 months after our first pregnancy. Miscarried that at 4.5 weeks. By then I was already 34, my relatively flexible residency period with great health insurance was wrapping up, and I was sick of dealing with the 10-15% chance each month even with IUI. We moved on to IVF. First cycle I didn''t stim well - lots of follicles but crummy hormones, so the RE thought the eggs were likely bad. We cancelled. The next cycle we did IVF again and got pg with our daughter, who is now 3.5 months old. I dealt with contractions from 16 weeks on that had me off work with fear that I was going to lose the baby. I was induced at 41.5 weeks. I''ll be curious to see how it goes for #2...

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks for sharing Drk! I knew you had a long road before Kara, but didn''t realize it was quite that long. I''m so sorry for your losses and for the painful journey. Congrats on your beautiful baby and I hope that #2 is smooth sailing

P.S. I can''t imagine dealing with residency and IVF at the same time! You are a strong and brave lady!!!

 

[blushingbride]

How long did it take you? 10 months naturally for the first pregnancy which sadly ended in miscarriage at 8 weeks. In fact, I had an appt. with a fertility doctor
the day before we found out I was preggo. I remember venting my frustrations to my Dr. who kept saying, "Well, you could be pregnant now you know." I said, "Wishful thinking." Next day, I took a test for the heck of it and BFP! I couldn't believe it! For my pregnancy now, it took us 7 months after the miscarriage.

How did you cope with the process?
What helped you through the TTC journey (physically, emotionally, spiritually...)?
How did you and your DH continue building your relationship during this time?

The TTC thread helped tremendously, but DH was my rock. My friends really hadn't jumped on the TTC bandwagon just yet so, I felt like I was in it alone. Now, 4 of my friends are pregnant along with me (would have been 5, but one miscarried). Anyway, DH was so positive about everything so, I started thinking that way as well - even have a post-it-note on my monitor at work that says "THINK POSITIVE" as reminder. Also, I felt like DH and I became closer after my miscarriage. We saw/experienced things that we never dreamed we would, but it truly brought us together in ways I can't describe. I am so lucky to have him in my life and I know he's going to make a wonderful daddy!

How did you get pregnant (no intervention, IUI, IVF, other means...)?
or, did you pursue other ways to build your family (adoption, surrogacy....)

I started on clomid as soon as I got the green light to try again after the miscarriage since my Dr. believed I had unexplained infertility and didn't want it to take us another 10 months to get pregnant again. All my tests came back "normal" (loved that word) and I ovulated just fine. My Dr. did have concerns that I had a short luteal phase and felt clomid was worth a shot if I was up for it. Not to mention, it took my mom 7 years to have my sister and I (which happened as soon as she started taking clomid). However, clomid didn't work for me - took it for 6 months and nothing. I got pregnant the month after I stopped taking while DH and I were discussing our next steps.

BTW - Lovelylulu has an interesting TTC story with a positive outcome. Unfortunately, her positive outcome is keeping her busy these days, but you can always read some of her posts from the TTC thread.

Best of luck ladies....wishing nothing but positive outcomes for all of you out there trying. It WILL happen - don't ever give up hope!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Thanks BB-I am so excited for you and your twins

Despite my current state of discouragement, I have an encouraging TTC story too...

My sister-in-law''s parents TTC for several years, were told they were infertile, built a whole life around their hobbies and decided they were fine with not having kids, and then 13 years later had a suprise BFP that was her!!!

Amazing!!! but I don''t want to wait 13 years

(stamps foot and pouts!)

 

[ponder]

It took us 10 months to concieve DD, with 2 miscarriages in that time. I think like everyone else that I had the same emotions of isolation and jealousy, but DH was wonderful and supportive and always told me that he would be happy with or without kids. We did try to not make TTC our life and not put our lives on hold thinking "what if", but continued to pursue medical help. We concieved with spontaneous ovulation and a coctail of hormones, blood thinners and other prescriptions to support the pregnancy. I concieved the second month after visiting our RE.

A good friend and co worker of mine TTC for 5 years. They found her husband had a low sperm count and did IUI. It failed 3 times. She was so devistated that she refused any more fertility treatment. She said that if she was going to put anymore time, money and energy into TTC she was going to do something that was definately going to result in a baby, so they adopted. It was a wholly wonderful experience for everyone involved. It is an open adoption and they see the birth mom and her family every few months. When her little boy was 15 months old she discovered that she was pregnant. She just delivered a healthy little boy a few weeks ago.

My have an aquaintance/friend who I saw today and prompted me to post this evening. She TTC at age 24 or 25 and had unexplained fertility. She went through multiple rounds of IVF and had multiple miscarriages and lost a total of 10 babies. Each pregnancy was an experiment in maintaining the pregnancy. She finally delivered a healthy set of twin girls at age 32. She did accidentally get pregnant after the girls, but unfortunately lost that baby too. She has told me many times that she knew in her heart that she would someday be a mom and could not give up.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I don''t know how long my Dad and Mom were trying for me, but I think it was a year. It was long enough that they thought they could not have a baby. So they decided to travel for a year. They quit their jobs, sold the house, and hit the road. Than I guess I showed up

.

 

[wellinsm]

I will share a positive story of a friend of mine.

She and her DH got married young (20) and after college started TTC. They moved to CA and for years had no luck (unexplained). They became foster parents to a infant (4ish months) and ended up adopting him. 2 years later became foster parents again to their adopted son''s biological brother and adopted him as well. The whole time they were TTC (although I don''t know what/if any medical interventions were being done during this time).

They then moved back to WI with their 2 boys in 2008. In March 2010 they were contacted by their adopted children''s biological grandparents who had been given custody of a third biollogical sibling of their 2 boys. They then adopted the 3rd brother in April. She found out she was pregnant just after they adopted the 3rd brother with no medical intervention and over 8 years of TTC, and she is having a baby girl!

It doesn''t answer your questions, and I don''t have a TTC experience (yet!) but those positive stories are out there!

 

[oobiecoo]

My parents were married for about 10 years or so before they had me. My mom didn't take birth control and they didn't do anything else to prevent but my mom just never got pregnant. Finally she had me!

DH and I tried for almost a year before I decided to see what was up and talk to my doctor. I went through blood tests, ultrasounds, CT Scans and took 2 different medications. They seemed to help regulate my cycles but I still was not ovulating. Miraculously, one day, I got my EWCM and now I'm due in August. The whole process took about a year and 2 or 3 months.

DH's cousin just had twins. They actively tried for 2 years and did Chlomid and IUI. They were so sure that it would never happen to them so they sent off for adoption information. They eventually tried IVF (along with acupuncture) and it worked! Their babies are adorable and the wife says now that once she got pregnant, she realized it really was the perfect timing!

ETA: I spent alot of time being bitter whenever someone close to me would become pregnant... especially if it was an accident. However, I also spent alot of time praying to not feel the bitterness and for God to give us our child in His time. My faith definitely helped me through that time.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

What a great idea, Bella.

I don''t have a story of my own here (yet, but girl, you KNOW it''s coming, and yours is, too!!), but I have several friends'' stories I''d love to share. Every baby is a miracle. Some of us just wait a little longer for our miracles to come along....

A friend, Amanda, and her husband had NO trouble conceiving baby number one. Little girl was born, healthy, great, happy little family. After baby girl''s first birthday, the family started trying for number two. After 6 months, she was concerned and went to the dr. They gave her clomid (no testing???) and she took it for 8 months. No pregnancy. They stopped taking it at that point, thinking if they''d been TTC for over a year and half and still weren''t pregnant, perhaps their little girl was the only child they were meant to have. She had gotten to where she felt "okay" with being a mommy to one child and going on with life. Her husband accepted a new job and they were preparing for a move and a lot of life changes, and what do you know? They find out another life change was coming--- baby number two. She swears "not thinking about it" (which si absolutely foreign to me!!!) was all it took....

Another friend, also named Amanda, struggled to have her two children. Was on medications and underwent regular ultrasounds, trigger shots, all that business. She calls her girls her miracle babies because it was a fight the whole way. She tried over two years for both babies, both times. Then out of no where (she wasn''t using any contraceptive, thought there was no need for it), they find out they''re pregnant with baby number three. Absolutely a blessing, but not expected in the least! She also contributes it to no stress around the area of baby-making.

Hmm.... I wonder if this is a running theme.....

Another friend of mine (actually a family friend) and her husband got married young and totally yearned for children. They are a good bit older than me (in their 60s now) and didn''t have the resources available now (IUI, IVF, excessive testing) and just let it ride. After years of hoping, she eventually fell into the role of being an aunt and got through the point of hoping for a baby and came to terms with not being a mom and still enjoying life. Guess what? In their 19th year of marriage, she finds out she is pregnant. She was 41. She said it was the best and biggest and scariest and weirdest timing of any thing in her life. Their daughter was such a loved (and a tad bit spoiled) little girl.

I also have a few friends who sought adoption when they decided TTC wasn''t working for them, and one of them found out she was pregnant during the process.

It''s a HARD place to be. Oh the emotions, the tears, the secret wishes and dreams you can''t stop from flowing through your mind. The truth of it is that you cannot PLAN parenthood. You can prepare, and you can take steps toward parenthood, but you can''t MAKE it happen. I do believe it will happen, and I do walk in that faith. I sometimes fear the day that faith, hope, positive thought, what have you, fades..... but it''s not faith if you don''t walk in it all the time, right?

I read your recent post on TTC, and although I''ve not been around in a while, I am thinking of you and your hubs, and I do pray for you both through this.... and I''m excited for the good news that is coming. Yep, it''s coming. And I''m looking forward to crying excited tears when I read that wonderful post!

Thank you for this thread.... I enjoy reading other people''s success. It''s easy to dwell on the wait... when really for almost all of us, there is a day when the dreams are realized and the wait getting to that point means nothing at all.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Wow! thank you all so much for sharing!!! Ponder, LTF, Wells, Oobie...THANK YOU!

Fisher, you are such a dear. THANK YOU! I know your journey is and has been a long road indeed! I can''t wait to hear joyful news from you!!!! I know your story is going to be incredible when it does happen!!!!

It is so great to read these encouraging stories and to hear that sometimes the road can be longer (much longer) than you thought, but at the end there can still be such joy, in your marriage, in pregnancy, in adoption....it is truly and totally a faith guided process.

I''m laying low in July--taking a break, going on a trip...but I''ll be thinking of you all and can''t wait to read about more incredible blessings in August.