Sleeping Beauty - I CANNOT believe some Peeps!

[geckodani]

Date: 6/3/2010 10:33:06 PM
Author: lilyfoot
Amethyste, I read this thread earlier today, but decided not to post my initial reactions (which were, what is the big deal, etc). What I really wanted to say though, is that I think this is one of those industry-specific issues that nobody can understand unless they work in your same industry, KWIM?

The things you are venting about don''t seem to be a big deal to me at all, but if I was venting to you about my job as a legal assistant, I bet you''d be thinking the same thing (what''s the big deal).

So, regardless of the fact that I can''t fully understand what you''re upset about, I wanted to say that I''m sorry you had a bad visit with a client. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you

I second this. At first blush, didn''t seem like a big deal to me, but I''ve never had to try to do a sleeping person''s nails! I''m sorry you had a bad day.

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 6/4/2010 12:16:05 PM
Author: Bunny007

Date: 6/4/2010 12:03:45 PM
Author: Amethyste

Date: 6/4/2010 11:49:32 AM
Author: movie zombie
i haven''t read this thread through but i think it was unprofessional to take a client''s picture w/o permission and to post it on the internet was unforgiveable.

mz

the picture didn''t show ANY facial features - was totally blurry and grainy - showed nothing revealing of that person in question. top of a head and a blue hand in the uv machine. IIIIIIIII didn''t think it violated her identity at all. could be anyone laying there that has brown hair.

What *IF* I posted that same picture with a thread titled ''Look how cute my client is!''? No one would have probably said it was unprofessional to do that cause the thread would have been a fun and happy one!

Probably not! But the reality is that you didn''t say,'' Look how cute my client is!.'' You said, ''Look this is my client [insert negative comments].'' The context makes all the difference in the world. I personally wouldn''t mind if people posted wonderful positive comments about me on the internet (please, feel free

). I don''t think most people would mind.

I get that you had a bad day, that you were frustrated and venting. I don''t think you cheated her in any way and I''m surprised that she didn''t tip, since she usually does. But on the other hand, she''s an older client, who was clearly tired, maybe didn''t feel well, was probably groggy when she left, and normally tips you. For those reasons, I''d give her the benefit of the doubt and be really straightforward with her in the future.

comments are one thing. posting unauthorized pictures of me on the internet are another. i don''t care how nice the comments might have been, if i found out that a paid professional that i had an ongoing relationship with had taken a picture of me while providing a service that i paid for and then posted it on the internet....whether or not my face was shown or not, whether the comments were good or bad.....there would be HELL to pay.

i''d probably have had some sympathy for the OP having a bad day had the story been told w/o the picture.

mz

 

[elle_chris]

Date: 6/4/2010 11:16:36 AM
Author: lyra
Hey now, everyone just step away from Lemony, slowly... Seriously. I sometimes wonder if the negative comments Amethyste gets in some of her threads aren''t based on jealousy over Lemony. Maybe I''m wrong, but there are weird perceptions going on about it here at least. Lemony is not part of this equation, and Amethyste has said she doesn''t even wear it to do nails because of the chemicals. I also think it''s silly to think that someone does not deserve a tip because they have expensive jewellery. I see the salon owner when I get my hair done. He charges more than everyone else, therefore I tip him even *more* than I would tip one of the other stylists. It''s a matter of respect. I go to him knowing my expectations will always be met. He has more money than I do, a nicer house in a nicer area, a nicer car and his wife has expensive jewellery. It''s just simple etiquette IMO. As for the gel on one hand acrylic on the other, she had no choice. She couldn''t do gel on a lifeless hand, end of story. Wackiness ensued, it was a bad day, she vented.

Lyra- I''ve heard of owners being insulted if a customer tries to tip them here. It''s just not done. Maybe it''s regional, or maybe it depends on the salon.

As far as this thread goes, i can see both sides. I do agree that pic should not should not have been posted though as it takes it to a whole new level. Glad it was removed.

 

[Bunny007]

Movie Zombie- Oops I mispoke. I meant comments (good or bad) accompanying a picture. Stilll, I can see why someone wouldn''t want their picture posted without authorization, regardless of the caption/comment.

 

[dragonfly411]

Amethyste - I haven''t posted on here. I can see both sides for you and her. I know several nail technicians, and I know it can be a roller coaster ride for you. I mainly wanted to say that I really really hope you don''t leave, b/c I enjoy your input.

 

[zoebartlett]

Amethyste, I hope you continue to post here. I don''t get why this thread took such a weird turn. I''m not sure why your ring was brought up -- that has nothing to do with this.

 

[KittyGolightly]

Date: 6/4/2010 3:15:48 PM
Author: elle_chris

Date: 6/4/2010 11:16:36 AM
Author: lyra
Hey now, everyone just step away from Lemony, slowly... Seriously. I sometimes wonder if the negative comments Amethyste gets in some of her threads aren''t based on jealousy over Lemony. Maybe I''m wrong, but there are weird perceptions going on about it here at least. Lemony is not part of this equation, and Amethyste has said she doesn''t even wear it to do nails because of the chemicals. I also think it''s silly to think that someone does not deserve a tip because they have expensive jewellery. I see the salon owner when I get my hair done. He charges more than everyone else, therefore I tip him even *more* than I would tip one of the other stylists. It''s a matter of respect. I go to him knowing my expectations will always be met. He has more money than I do, a nicer house in a nicer area, a nicer car and his wife has expensive jewellery. It''s just simple etiquette IMO. As for the gel on one hand acrylic on the other, she had no choice. She couldn''t do gel on a lifeless hand, end of story. Wackiness ensued, it was a bad day, she vented.

Lyra- I''ve heard of owners being insulted if a customer tries to tip them here. It''s just not done. Maybe it''s regional, or maybe it depends on the salon.

As far as this thread goes, i can see both sides. I do agree that pic should not should not have been posted though as it takes it to a whole new level. Glad it was removed.

I think that the traditional rule is that you do not need to tip a salon owner, but this seems to be changing. I tip the owner of the salon I go to, as do the other customers, I believe. Times are tough right now, and I know he appreciates it.

If you google this question, you''ll come up with lots of links with arguments for and against tipping owners. Here''s one from Oprah''s website:

http://www.oprah.com/money/Guide-to-Tipping

Amethyste, for what it''s worth, I''m sorry you had a tough day. I''m fortunate enough to know a fantastic nail artist who comes to my home to do my gels. I know how difficult it would be to try to move someone''s hands in and out of the UV box. I would never fall asleep on her on purpose, and think that perhaps your client wasn''t feeling well. I suspect she forgot to tip you. It seems very strange to me that a loyal client of 6 years wouldn''t tip you on purpose without giving you an explanation or complaint.

 

[Lynn B]

WOW, this thread has surprised me, too.

I just felt the need to add that personally, I am only happy for Amethyste and her beautiful diamond, and have to believe that other PSer''s feel the same. I really find it hard to believe that *jealousy* (of her diamond) would be the driving force behind any critical remarks. Really???!

 

[Mara]

it's a diamond forum, for anyone to be jealous of someone else's ring would be silly!! but who knows, jealousy is prevalent in every day of life in some way/shape/form.

i don't know you at all, Amethyst, but the original post seemed like it had a tone to it that probably rubbed people the wrong way. it was like 'i have this horrible client who treated me so rudely by falling asleep, and then didn't even tip, who does that??? so i did THIS to her nails ... AND her's her pic!'.

even if YOU knew all the insider info like, she's a 6 year client, she doesn't care about acrylic vs gel, she is always demanding, she always tips, etc....no one else did. and no one knew you just wanted to vent. so you can't be THAT surprised at some of the responses.

but as long as you firmly feel you were in the right, and you worked stuff out with your client, what should it really matter what anyone else on here thinks?

 

[Harriet]

The OP vented. She and her client made up. 'Nuff said. Perhaps a number of the criticisms stem from jealousy, or perhaps they are warranted.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 6/4/2010 5:49:49 PM
Author: Mara
it's a diamond forum, for anyone to be jealous of someone else's ring would be silly!! but who knows, jealousy is prevalent in every day of life in some way/shape/form.

i don't know you at all, Amethyst, but the original post seemed like it had a tone to it that probably rubbed people the wrong way. it was like 'i have this horrible client who treated me so rudely by falling asleep, and then didn't even tip, who does that??? so i did THIS to her nails ... AND her's her pic!'.

even if YOU knew all the insider info like, she's a 6 year client, she doesn't care about acrylic vs gel, she is always demanding, she always tips, etc....no one else did. and no one knew you just wanted to vent. so you can't be THAT surprised at some of the responses.

but as long as you firmly feel you were in the right, and you worked stuff out with your client, what should it really matter what anyone else on here thinks?

I am sorry if you thought I was being hard on you. I just saw an elderly lady and you complaining and then posting her pic. I guess it comes from me being a care taker... If anyone had done that to my Nanny, well, there would be hell to pay.

And it was the tone of the post... ( Ya gotta own that...)


But am happy you have worked to resolve this ... That's great

Not beating you up.... Just that if you post a persons pic, without permission, blurry, grainy etc...


THAT'S NOT COOL.....

If it had been my Nanny who did love to get her nails done but was old...

 

[hlmr]

Hi Amethyste:

I get your frustration. I understand you were posting with hope that others would emphathise with you, and what you have to deal with sometimes as a nail professional. It is not fun going to a second job and dealing with a sleeping client. After all, if you can stay awake to do a second job, why can't she stay awake to get her nails done?! It appears to be an interactive process.

The thing is that taking a picture of her wasn't the best idea, and then posting it on PS......well, that was undoubtedly going to get under some people's skin. The reality is that unless you knew that woman very well, there is no way anyone could have identified her from that picture. BUT, it is never a good idea to post a picture of a person without permission, plus you made it sound like you got her in the end for falling asleep on you. It was the way it came across, whether it was your intent or not.

You have worked hard explaining your position to everyone else thus far, and I am hoping that you just take it as a lesson learned (we all have these), and that you are okay.

 

[galeteia]

Wow, really?

Have none of you read the OP''s posts before this? Amethyste is one of those Skippy-esque super sweet posters, in my experience, and I''m a little shocked that no one bothered to give her the benefit of the doubt when she posted what was clearly a vent.

Although the picture had been removed by the time I read the OP, when I started reading it was obviously her letting off some steam. Yes, posting the picture was eh, but it''s removed now so everyone can calm down. Has no one here ever made an iffy decision when steaming mad?

Would people find it odd for a client to fall asleep while their makeup artist was doing their face? How about a hair stylist colouring and cutting their hair? It was inappropriate for the client to request that Amethyste continue to do her work with an uncooperative partner. If she wasn''t able to stay awake, she should have offered to rebook. Expecting her to work around this and STILL have a perfect manicure is completely unreasonable.

Also, tips are a sign of respect for the work that someone has done. If someone does a good job, whether it is for a facial, waxing, mani, haircut, whatever, it''s appropriate to tip that person if they do a good job.

Not tipping you after asking you to go to extreme lengths to do your job is just disrespectful. I am glad you two have sorted it out, and I hope she was just being absent minded.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 6/4/2010 10:08:01 PM
Author: Galateia
Wow, really?

Have none of you read the OP''s posts before this? Amethyste is one of those Skippy-esque super sweet posters, in my experience, and I''m a little shocked that no one bothered to give her the benefit of the doubt when she posted what was clearly a vent.

Although the picture had been removed by the time I read the OP, when I started reading it was obviously her letting off some steam. Yes, posting the picture was eh, but it''s removed now so everyone can calm down. Has no one here ever made an iffy decision when steaming mad?

Would people find it odd for a client to fall asleep while their makeup artist was doing their face? How about a hair stylist colouring and cutting their hair? It was inappropriate for the client to request that Amethyste continue to do her work with an uncooperative partner. If she wasn''t able to stay awake, she should have offered to rebook. Expecting her to work around this and STILL have a perfect manicure is completely unreasonable.

Also, tips are a sign of respect for the work that someone has done. If someone does a good job, whether it is for a facial, waxing, mani, haircut, whatever, it''s appropriate to tip that person if they do a good job.

Not tipping you after asking you to go to extreme lengths to do your job is just disrespectful. I am glad you two have sorted it out, and I hope she was just being absent minded.

Ditto! What the heck . . . thritto and quadritto too! Gal, you said exactly what I was trying for in my previous post, but you said it way better than I did!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Well Ame I thought your first post was funny and I laughed. As someone who has worked in a crappy service job too for years and years I feel your pain about the entitlement that many clients have. I did not see the picture so I cannot speak to that, but if it was just her hair, I say whatev.

I think most of the posts here are flat our ridiculous and over the top, and I think people are projecting some of their own personal beefs onto Ame and her situation. And frankly, it was a $25 manicure, not dinner at the Taj Mahal (do they offer that?

). The client is happy with her nails. The level of anger from some posters about the situations is totally out of proportion to the "crime".

As to tipping, etiquette says that tips are not required to the owner of a business, which would include you Ame. Most poeple would probably still tip something, but Miss Manners says they would not need to.

 

[iheartscience]

Good lord did this thread go on for way too long. I can see both sides here, so didn''t post because I had nothing to add.

But I have to say, I really doubt anyone is reacting the way they are because of your diamond. Like mara said-this is a diamond forum. If people were nasty to anyone with a bigger diamond than theirs, this wouldn''t be a very fun place. I can think of tons posters I''d have to hate if that were the case.

Were you wrong to post the pic of the woman? Yes. Was it wrong for the woman to fall asleep? Yes. But I think you realize you should have handled it differently when she fell asleep, and I''m sure it won''t happen again.

And I''m going to wager that the majority of the people who are outraged at your post have never worked in the service industry. At the same time, maybe it''s time for you to rethink your position in the service industry. If I recall correctly, you''ve posted a couple of times about your unhappiness with clients. Maybe you should take a break?

 

[Gypsy]

Ditto Mara. I don''t think anyone should be driven off of here because of anyone''s comments, harsh or not. Amethyst I don''t know you, you started posting when I was not really on here much. My comments have nothing to do with your ring, or any knowledge of you outside of this thread. My only context was this post and your tone in it.

 

[Dreamer_D]

FWIW Ame I also do not think this is about your ring. I have seen threads in the past where things got out of hand criticizing a poster when she was asking advice or venting or whatever. And I think that you and this other person I am thinking of perhaps share some common qualities, being sweet, nice, caring people who perhaps care a little too much what other people think and say about you! I think you are both wonderful women, and I don''t think this characterization of your personalities is out of left field, I think you have both owned up to your sensitivity in the past. In my experience, people can often feel that it is ok to be more blunt to people who are perceived to be senstive. They feel more comfortable being critical of such sensitive people, making wider assumptions about a situation, giving more blatant advice to the person. And when someone is sensitive, they may also become defensive in the face of criticism, seeing a need to address each critical point or respond when really, it is not worth the effort, and responding just fuels things, and it is better to ignore, move on. Human nature, ain''t it a B****?

 

[KimberlyH]

i don''t see jealousy being a factor in response to the op. i think when a large number of people who aren''t invested in someone''s complaint respond in a similar fashion perhaps looking inward, rather than pointing the finger back out those people, would be wise.

i don''t think anything horrific took place. but if the op were my nail tech and i read this thread and saw that picture or any picture of a client, even if posted in a positive light, and then op''s response to so many being bothered by it -- still not thinking it was inappropriate to post and leaving it up to the mods to decide if it should be taken down -- i''d seek services elsewhere.

 

[Amethyste]

THanks everyone for your input.

I am not going to be replying to this thread after this....

But I appreciated the answers, support, flames, dislikes, disgust etc
sorry if I really upset people with what I said and did - but I was really upset and wanted to vent and I came here.
It was a huge mistake - it has really upset me to read all of your replies and personnal flames toward me

So, thank you - Wishing you all a great day. Keep smiling and be happy.

 

[zhuzhu]

Hi Amethyste,

Just want to give you a hug and to tell you that you are not alone. I too, have been flamed for simply venting my frustration with a co-worker. I didn''t take any of the border-line cruel comments/snarks seriously because if they aren''t in my shoes, obviously they can''t understand the depth of the situation. Therefore when they respond negatively a lot of it is because they are responding to their own association with the person I bitch about.

Sympathy and empathy can go both ways when you are in a position to judge a story of conflict in nature.

Please don''t take those responses as personal attack against you. I really don''t think they are attacks, but just venting which make them feel better....

Cheers!
Zhu

 

[that_someone_special]

Hugs Ame!

 

[Indylady]

Date: 6/4/2010 10:10:34 AM
Author: AGBF

Date: 6/2/2010 11:07:46 PM

Author: IndyLady



When I go to the doctor''s office, he''s offering me a service and I''m paying him with my money, and I treat him with respect as well.


(snippage)


It sounds like Amethyste''s job was made harder than it needed to be because this client wanted to sleep.

Too bad Amethyste isn''t a psychoanalyst. He doesn''t care if the patient (analysand) falls asleep and he doesn''t find it disrespectful. (Well...he may, secretly, have a little counter-transference about it.) He gets to interpret it as resistance and use it in the next session (thereby putting the sleeping episode to use) and he gets paid for the sleeping session while having been able to read his novel! (I know! I know! Amethyste couldn''t read a novel. That''s why I said it was too bad she wasn''t a psychoanalyst!)


Deb/AGBF

Deb, you are too funny!

Ame, lots of hugs.

 

[doodle]

Amethyste, I sincerely hope you''ll stick around here and not let a few negative posts run you off as I enjoy your posts, and I don''t think those who posted negatively meant it as being negative toward YOU so much as toward the situation. As my grandfather used to say: opinions are like @$$holes. Everyone has one, and nobody needs to hear ''em.

 

[Autumnovember]

Wow..some people went waaaay over board here!

What is interesting to me, is how everyone who ripped you to shreds about posting the picture...are acting like they have never made poor choices and made mistakes as well.

Come on people, I''m sure each and every one of us have done things on impulse that wasn''t exactly the best thing to do. Something that we later understood as a big mistake.

Some of you are acting as if OP is this awful person because of her mess up.

I''d be a lot more concerned about her character and values if she had NOT understood why posting the picture probably wasn''t the best idea.

Difference is, she did and the picture is gone.

Lets stop making a huge deal about this and move on...

Amethyst...I honestly feel sorry for what you''ve had to read from some people here. I wouldn''t want to post anymore either.