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Average time guy holds on to a ring before popping the question?

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Just curious about this...I was thinking to start a thread on this anyway, and then I saw luckynumber''s post and realised quite a few of us are waiting for a proposal, where there''s a ring already in the picture.

Having gone through quite a few posts, old and new, it seems some ladies waited for months and other for days.

To the engaged/married ladies:

How long did your SO hold on to the ring before asking?
Do you know what motivated him to(not)wait?
Was it just about the individual''s character (some people are more impatient, some can hold on to secrets etc.)or do you think it was all pre-planned that way?
Or maybe they were thinking about how to propose?

I would love to hear the background info on your proposal, if you have it to share.

dinamit
 

missy

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My husband held onto the ring for a few months...in the trunk of his car no less LOL! He was waiting for the right weather conditions if you can believe it. He wanted it to be snowing when he proposed
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It was a very romantic proposal and I wouldn't have changed a thing. I had no idea it was coming so I wasn't waiting anxiously for him to propose since I had no clue. He hadn't told anyone, not even his family or best friends. So it was a surprise to everyone. He had wanted to ask my dad's permission for my hand in marriage but at the end decided against it because he wanted it to for sure be a total surprise. And it was.
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jazzoboe

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My FI proposed 5 days after he picked up the ring. But that''s completely his character. He managed to keep buying the ring a secret from me, which is impressive as he rarely manages to surprise me with things like gifts. He just gets so excited about things and can''t keep it in, it''s adorable :) The first year we were dating he bought me a pretty gold necklace for my birthday and was so excited about it that he caved and gave it to me as soon as I was over at his house, probably about a day after he bought it, which was about 2 weeks before my birthday. So I knew once he got the ring he wouldn''t wait more than a few weeks at most. Plus, we had been talking about marriage/getting engaged seriously for a while and by the time he bought the ring he was ready to propose, and I think he already pretty much knew when he wanted to do it (our 4 year anniversary), so there was no point holding on to it!
 

RaiKai

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Interesting topic!

We did not do the engagement ring thing. So when he (we) were ready to get married, he just asked! I was getting ready to ask him too, he just beat me to it!

Even if we had decided to do the ring thing after (we did think about and do a bit of looking but decided to have a short engagement and get married ten weeks later so opted to spend our money there since we were paying for it ourselves amongst other reasons) we already considered ourselves engaged so would not have done another *official* proposal, I would have started wearing it. if he had bought a ring beforehand he would not have held onto it long..once my husband decides something he is just ready to get going with it, and we very much saw getting engaged/married as a mutual decision and not a ''boy asks girl'' sort of thing where girl just waits and waits!
 

LilyKat

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We're in the UK and did it the usual way here - he proposed as a surprise without a ring, and then we picked out the ring together afterwards. I got it as soon as it arrived. I really don't know how girls who have to wait for it, knowing it's THERE and ready, manage - I'd go crazy!
 

missy

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Date: 3/28/2010 10:13:42 AM
Author: LilyKat
We're in the UK and did it the usual way here - he proposed as a surprise without a ring, and then we picked out the ring together afterwards. I got it as soon as it arrived. I really don't know how girls who have to wait for it, knowing it's THERE and ready, manage - I'd go crazy!


I totally agree. I am not a patient person at all. It would have driven me nuts if I knew he had a ring and was planning to propose!

I also prefer the way you guys do it in the UK. Much better. Because how can a guy pick a ring for you that you are supposed to love and wear your whole life without input from you?? That's just crazy. But I do love my dh for knowing me well enough to know I would absolutely want a surprise proposal but just wish he did it without the ring. I cringe at the thought of all the money we wasted with the original ring that we changed 3 times (ofc, the last 3 changes was all due to my indecision. I'm still not sure I got it right...
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dinamit

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Missy, a snowy proposal sounds dreamy...so romantic! I had to laugh about your SO's hiding place for the ring; I suppose it was good cos you never found it, but imagine if something happened to the car!? Lovely set, btw. What are your old sets like?

Jazzboe, it's sweet the way your guy can't hold the excitement in; I'm pretty much that way (and very impatient) but SO isn't, but isn't so great at surprising me either - maybe that's why he's holding on to the ring.

RaiKai, how cool that you were prepared to propose yourself! I really admire women who go through with it. One of my good friends did it the last leap year, and we are going to their wedding in June.

LilyKat - hello my fellow Brit! Luckynumber also mentioned that it is quite customary to get asked the question and then get the ring after over here, but I only know of one couple who did it that way, and I think that might have been for financial reasons, as he proposed a couple of years ago and they have yet to buy the ring. We did the other way around, hence the ring is there (right next to me in fact - bf let me wear it for an hour today!
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) but I am still waiting for the question...and yes, it's not easy at all!

I'll have to post the pics I took later on today. Off to feed my (little) boy now.

dinamit
 

iheartscience

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My husband held onto it for a couple of hours. He picked it up at the FedEx place, went home and then waited for me to get home. (We were living together at the time.) As soon as I got home he proposed!
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Lauren8211

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My hubby waited 2 days, and was DYING to propose, but he had to wait for the plans he made!
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E B

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My husband proposed the day after he picked up the ring.
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lilyfoot

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My FI picked up the completed ring on Tuesday, and proposed that Friday.

I believe he would''ve proposed even sooner, but it''s a super crazy time of year for him at work (he works in retail, and it was Christmas week). Christmas day was the only day of that week that we were both off work.

His plan was to propose on New Years, but he just couldn''t wait
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, so I got a Christmas night proposal.

The proposal was completely impromptu, no planning at all (and so ridiculously perfect!)
 

Mobinvera

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I wrote about why we are waiting in the other thread you mentioned, but I also wanted to add that if I have to wait anyway, I''d much rather wait knowing that the decision has been made, the ring has been purchased, and now it''s only a matter of time until the proposal. There''s less anxiety knowing it''s definitly going to happen soon and you can focus on enjoying the pre-proposal time, instead of constantly wondering if it''s going to happen. I also agree that it''s great to be involved in the ring purchase, either before or after, so you know you are going to get exactly what you want.
 

LaurenThePartier

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My husband hung onto the ring from Wednesday afternoon until Sunday morning. Very, very EARLY on Sunday morning.

He could hardly contain himself once he saw it finished. LOL
 

dinamit

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Thanks to all you lovely ladies who already replied.

It''s lucky that the majority of you didn''t have to wait long at all. Personally, if I was a guy, I don''t think I would wait to ask. Once I decide something, I go for it. That''s why I am so curious as to why some men decide to wait. Maybe it''s waiting for a special occasion, or psyching themselves up to ask, though by going ahead and buying a ring they should be mentally there, me thinks. I mean, they eventually ask, so wondering about the stories behind the wait.

dinamit
 

LilyKat

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Date: 3/28/2010 10:53:31 AM
Author: missy
Date: 3/28/2010 10:13:42 AM

Author: LilyKat

We''re in the UK and did it the usual way here - he proposed as a surprise without a ring, and then we picked out the ring together afterwards. I got it as soon as it arrived. I really don''t know how girls who have to wait for it, knowing it''s THERE and ready, manage - I''d go crazy!



I totally agree. I am not a patient person at all. It would have driven me nuts if I knew he had a ring and was planning to propose!


I also prefer the way you guys do it in the UK. Much better. Because how can a guy pick a ring for you that you are supposed to love and wear your whole life without input from you?? That''s just crazy. But I do love my dh for knowing me well enough to know I would absolutely want a surprise proposal but just wish he did it without the ring. I cringe at the thought of all the money we wasted with the original ring that we changed 3 times (ofc, the last 3 changes was all due to my indecision. I''m still not sure I got it right...
11.gif

Missy, if that''s your engagement ring in your avatar, I''d say you got in darn right
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A

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My FI had my ring exactly one week before he proposed. We had reasons for waiting (taking care of some stuff during the week preceding the proposal) and he wanted to wait to do it on the trip that we had already planned. It seems like the wait time is all over the board though, as I''ve talked to a few people that waited a lot longer (6 months, etc.).
 

missy

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Date: 3/28/2010 5:30:10 PM
Author: LilyKat
Date: 3/28/2010 10:53:31 AM

Author: missy

Date: 3/28/2010 10:13:42 AM


Author: LilyKat


We''re in the UK and did it the usual way here - he proposed as a surprise without a ring, and then we picked out the ring together afterwards. I got it as soon as it arrived. I really don''t know how girls who have to wait for it, knowing it''s THERE and ready, manage - I''d go crazy!




I totally agree. I am not a patient person at all. It would have driven me nuts if I knew he had a ring and was planning to propose!



I also prefer the way you guys do it in the UK. Much better. Because how can a guy pick a ring for you that you are supposed to love and wear your whole life without input from you?? That''s just crazy. But I do love my dh for knowing me well enough to know I would absolutely want a surprise proposal but just wish he did it without the ring. I cringe at the thought of all the money we wasted with the original ring that we changed 3 times (ofc, the last 3 changes was all due to my indecision. I''m still not sure I got it right...
11.gif


Missy, if that''s your engagement ring in your avatar, I''d say you got in darn right
3.gif


Thanks very much. I am in love with so many of the rings here that it is really hard to pick just one! I do love my ER (after so many tries I better if I don''t want to change husbands that is LOL) but I just wish I could have a few ERs if you know what I mean. If we won the lottery I know exactly which ring I would choose as an extra ER for sure
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missy

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Date: 3/28/2010 12:13:52 PM
Author: dinamit
Missy, a snowy proposal sounds dreamy...so romantic! I had to laugh about your SO's hiding place for the ring; I suppose it was good cos you never found it, but imagine if something happened to the car!? Lovely set, btw. What are your old sets like?


Hi Dinamit,
Thanks so much. It was romantic and very snowy and also blustery and freezing LOL and I hadn't washed my hair and was wearing torn jeans and a big old sweater and down coat so I was looking a bit raggy (and that's being kind
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) but I wouldn't change a thing about the proposal. Though I did think it was crazy to keep it in the trunk as there was no insurance on it at the time!

My first set was a simple platinum ER in a setting similar to the Tiffany Lucida. It was classic.
I had never given thought to ER's before that but I knew when I saw it that it just wasn't me. My hands are relatively large and I have long fingers. I felt the diamond was too small. And this is with having no clue about diamonds. I just knew it wasn't the ring for me. I hope I don't sound spoiled and I am not materialistic in any way. But I knew we could afford a larger diamond and I thought that would look better on my hand. And most importantly I knew my sweetheart would want me to love my ring. Period. He would have been upset if I had never told him how I felt about the ring. My darling fiance at the time understood and was not upset at all since he had no clue about diamonds anyway. He went with what the jeweler recommended. (1.35 for the curious though I feel embarrassed saying it wasn't large enough for me. I know it is a lovely size just felt wrong on me).

Then I thought I wanted an emerald cut diamond but my fiance insisted on RB and that was the only thing he felt strongly about so since I was still indecisive I agreed to leave it round. But I do love emerald cut diamonds!!

So my second setting (only a few months after the engagement) was a platinum setting exact to my first one but with a larger RB (2.93). I think that was my favorite. Simple, clean and classic. I loved this but my mother's jeweler and a few other people said for that diamond it was not the best setting yada yada yada and because I still was a relative newbie to the diamond world I let the so called experts influence me and that led to my 3rd setting...sigh...
My 3rd was a platinum setting with 2 baguettes. That setting was way too high and I just never liked it.
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My last (and final for a while for sure) is my current setting and it is platinum in a shared prong eternity to mesh with my wedding band (which is the original wb- I love my shared prong eternity WB and have no plans to change it but additions to the WB collection might be nice
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) This setting was totally my decision and this is when my dh googled to find what I was describing and came upon PS
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I was shy at the beginning so didn't post much but did ask a few questions to make sure I was not going to make anymore mistakes and a month or 2 later ordered my custom ER setting and have had that now for almost 2 years.

I have an appreciation for all the gorgeous jewelry here and the lovely PS women. I am so happy to have found people who understand my (new found at least since 2004) obsession with jewels. No one in my immediate circle gets it. Especially not my family. So it is so wonderful to be around people who love their jewelry and aren't afraid to show it off!
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MayFlowers

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Date: 3/28/2010 10:13:42 AM
Author: LilyKat
We''re in the UK and did it the usual way here - he proposed as a surprise without a ring, and then we picked out the ring together afterwards. I got it as soon as it arrived. I really don''t know how girls who have to wait for it, knowing it''s THERE and ready, manage - I''d go crazy!


This is what we will be doing. Although we are in the US. We had both already decided that I would be involved in picking the ring, so this just makes more sense for us!
 

sctsbride09

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DH proposed 2 hrs after picking up the ring.
 

lucyandroger

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He waited 2 months and 2 weeks to propose. A lot happened in our lives right after he got the ring and he wanted the proposal to be special on its own. He also wanted it to be a surprise.

His proposal was super cute and very thoughtful **but I certainly wouldn''t have been upset if he had just popped the question the night he got the ring with no plan at all***
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AustenNut

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Haven''t been around much lately, but wanted to say that my fiance (still excited to say it!) proposed about 25 hours after he got the ring. I knew the ring was coming because I was involved with the designing and selection of it, and I knew when it was ordered and approximatley how long it would take for it to arrive. The clincher was when my then bf needed directions to get to the jeweler because he got lost. The next day he proposed at our first date location. His intention was to do it at a local place that was not weather dependant, so that probably helped things along. Though he''s not one who enjoys holding on to things for a long time either though, so I''m sure that helped too.

Good luck with the wait!
 

babycush

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We bought a secondhand solitaire for the diamond and the setting in early December, and we FINALLY dropped them off to get put together about two weeks ago (making what I have dubbed "Franken-ring"). M unofficially asked me about 24 hours after the solitaire arrived, the first quality time we had together in that interval. But 4 months later, I am still waiting on my ''official'' proposal, after which I get to wear my ring (
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) and we tell our families. The biggest reason that he is waiting is because he has a promotion in progress at work, and he wants it to be completed before we go public, so to speak!

And yes, these last 4 months have absolutely dragged on. The rings were ''hidden'' in his mancave, and I pretended like I didn''t know where they were but I totally did. I would check on them about once every other week, but I know that he can''t keep a secret from me. He ended up taking me with him to the jeweler''s to make sure they set it exactly how I want.
 

Prana

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My FI had it for 2-3 days before he proposed. It was sewn into his pocket! (Yes, he wore the same pants for those days...) I remember him fidgeting and digging through his pocket right before he proposed, and when he put the ring on my finger it had all this black thread wrapped around it haha.
 

kittybean

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My husband proposed two days after the ring arrived. He planned it so he would be holding onto it for as little time as possible. He is the type of person who loses things, so he was very concerned about his ability to keep track of the ring for very long (case in point: he lost his own wedding band less than two months after the wedding).

The day after the ring arrived, we got on a plane for a surprise trip to celebrate our dating anniversary, then the next day, he proposed. He had been planning the proposal and researching the ring for about three months or so.
 

missy

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Date: 3/30/2010 3:20:39 PM
Author: girlface
My FI had it for 2-3 days before he proposed. It was sewn into his pocket! (Yes, he wore the same pants for those days...) I remember him fidgeting and digging through his pocket right before he proposed, and when he put the ring on my finger it had all this black thread wrapped around it haha.

Love this LOL
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Smart cookie because he couldn''t lose it this way!!
 

missy

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Date: 3/30/2010 8:53:56 PM
Author: kittybean
My husband proposed two days after the ring arrived. He planned it so he would be holding onto it for as little time as possible. He is the type of person who loses things, so he was very concerned about his ability to keep track of the ring for very long (case in point: he lost his own wedding band less than two months after the wedding).


The day after the ring arrived, we got on a plane for a surprise trip to celebrate our dating anniversary, then the next day, he proposed. He had been planning the proposal and researching the ring for about three months or so.


That''s just like my dh too. He loses a lot of things! He lost his wb in the men''s room at work when he was washing his hands
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That''s why when I found out he had kept the ring in the trunk I understood why but still...not very secure LOL

btw I love your ring Kittybean!!
and your dh was smart to propose with it soon because better losing his ring than yours!
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elrohwen

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DH held on to the ring for about a month, maybe a little longer. He wanted us to go on a weekend trip for the proposal, so it took a few weeks to plan for that and that was pretty much the only reason we waited. He''s horrible at keeping secrets (not that the ring was a secret - I designed it) and if he didn''t have that trip to look forward to, I''m pretty sure he would''ve done it within days of picking up the ring.
 

CurlySue

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My FI waited 5 days after getting the ring. He waited b/c his plan was to propose as we were exchanging Christmas gifts, and he stuck to the plan!
 

Ashley21

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I''m trying not to think about it as it gets closer. We know we want to get married next summer and he has the ring but no proposal yet
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Dates I thought of were Christmas and Valentine''s Day ... nothing happened. I still have my birthday, April, my graduation, May, and our 5th year anniversary, end of May. HOPEFULLY it will be one of these days!! If not I might really lose it.
 
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