shape
carat
color
clarity

Baby shower for second child?

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
20,041
Date: 12/19/2009 8:53:23 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
Date: 12/19/2009 8:03:15 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

Besides clothes what do you need differently for newborn boys than girls (or other way around)? I get having a shower if there is many, many years between them and the mom threw out/donated/sold everything but I don''t get the different sex thing.


My first thought is bedding, maybe a new carseat, especially if the old one got really beat up or happens to be pink for a girl.

I thought most people went neutral for the major things (stroller, carseat, high chair, etc). I guess can see new bedding but since it is not a necessity I still don''t get it.
 

janinegirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
3,689
Re: different sexes and showers, I suppose the only different needs would be clothes, bedding (blankets) and various small things. To be honest that is mostly what I received from my 1st shower too. I did receive a car seat, but all big items (stroller, crib, dresser, glider) were purchased by us and not put on the registry. I guess diapers etc. never hurt either.
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 6, 2006
Messages
5,667
Date: 12/19/2009 8:59:49 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Date: 12/19/2009 8:53:23 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
Date: 12/19/2009 8:03:15 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Besides clothes what do you need differently for newborn boys than girls (or other way around)? I get having a shower if there is many, many years between them and the mom threw out/donated/sold everything but I don''t get the different sex thing.
My first thought is bedding, maybe a new carseat, especially if the old one got really beat up or happens to be pink for a girl.
I thought most people went neutral for the major things (stroller, carseat, high chair, etc). I guess can see new bedding but since it is not a necessity I still don''t get it.
Don''t you think bedding that''s gotten peed on for 3 years might need to be replaced?

For showers I never buy newborn sizes. I always get something in 9 or 12 month size to be worn after all the baby gift items are outgrown.
 

meresal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
5,720
Nevermind the etiquette behind it, I think it would be in the best interest of your friendship with SIL, if you DIDN'T throw her a shower. It honestly doesn't sound like you even want to, much less like her, so why put yourself thru that?

FWIW, I live in a major city, which means I am at least 30 mins to an hour away from some of my best freinds/family, and I would definitely drive to have a small luncheon to celebrate their new baby.

A shower doesn't mean that you have to bring gifts. You could just send an invitation to for the friends and family to attend a "Celebration Luncheon". Then if people want to bring gifts they can, and if they don't, then they just show up to celebrate with the Mom-to-be, and the upcoming addition to the family.
 

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
20,041
Date: 12/20/2009 4:33:56 PM
Author: swingirl
Date: 12/19/2009 8:59:49 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 12/19/2009 8:53:23 PM

Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 12/19/2009 8:03:15 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

Besides clothes what do you need differently for newborn boys than girls (or other way around)? I get having a shower if there is many, many years between them and the mom threw out/donated/sold everything but I don''t get the different sex thing.

My first thought is bedding, maybe a new carseat, especially if the old one got really beat up or happens to be pink for a girl.

I thought most people went neutral for the major things (stroller, carseat, high chair, etc). I guess can see new bedding but since it is not a necessity I still don''t get it.

Don''t you think bedding that''s gotten peed on for 3 years might need to be replaced?

First off I have probably at least 3 fitted sheets for my DD''s crib (as do most of my friends). Rarely has a diaper leaked and soaked them and even if I decided I needed/wanted to replace my bedding I still don''t think it wouldn''t call for another shower. Big deal. I can splurge for a new sheets myself.
 

butterfly 17

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 17, 2005
Messages
2,681
I had a baby shower for each of my kids! I don''t see what the big deal is. It was not like I asked for one, but it was much appreciated.
My mom and sister threw each one for me and I did not get any big ticket items, but being with family and friends is priceless, IMHO, and nothing can make up for the fun and laughter we had during my baby showers.

What did I get? a few clothes, a few blankets, baby bottles, towels, diapers, formula, bath tub, toiletries. The car seat, stroller, crib, bedding, I did purchase myself, but I also got a few gift certificates too.

Maybe people think that a shower is just so the mom doesn''t have to buy anything for the baby, but we all know you don''t get everything you need anyway. I mean, how often does someone go out and buy you the $800 stroller you registered for?

I think baby showers are great and once the baby comes, you won''t see all those people for a long while, so it''s nice.

Sure, I can afford the stuff I got, but a baby shower is not necessarily just for gifts. I never went to a baby shower and thought, Oh, she just wants a gift. I went to see and celebrate the mother and soon to come baby.

And for the record, my girls are 9, 4 and 1 years old.
 

MustangGal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2004
Messages
2,029
choyoyo and Meresal - I actually don''t really *want* to do a shower for her, and I didn''t do the last one, but I was just wondering if it was something I should do. I live 4 hours from her, so planning would not be the easiest. And I am a bit negative towards her pregnancy, she is be VERY annoying and attention seeking becasue of it. I get along OK with her, but I doubt we would be close friends even if we lived in the same city. I do feel a bit guilty about the crazy over-the-top shower she did for me this year, and I think that is mainly what''s pushing me into even thinking of doing one for her.

I''ll just wait and see if she says anything, and maybe her friend that did that last shower will step up again.

I was thinking of getting her a new stroller if I don''t have to host a shower, their old one is about to fall apart, and BIL was admiring the new one we got, so I might buy them one like mine.
 

meresal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
5,720
Date: 12/21/2009 10:50:04 AM
Author: MustangGal
choyoyo and Meresal - I actually don''t really *want* to do a shower for her, and I didn''t do the last one, but I was just wondering if it was something I should do. I live 4 hours from her, so planning would not be the easiest. And I am a bit negative towards her pregnancy, she is be VERY annoying and attention seeking becasue of it. I get along OK with her, but I doubt we would be close friends even if we lived in the same city. I do feel a bit guilty about the crazy over-the-top shower she did for me this year, and I think that is mainly what''s pushing me into even thinking of doing one for her.

I''ll just wait and see if she says anything, and maybe her friend that did that last shower will step up again.

I was thinking of getting her a new stroller if I don''t have to host a shower, their old one is about to fall apart, and BIL was admiring the new one we got, so I might buy them one like mine.
Stroller sounds like a good idea, and a VERY nice gift.

I wouldn''t plan a shower for someone I didn''t really know from 4 hours away, especially with a little one of your own.

That was very nice of her to do yours, but from what you have said of your "realtionship" with her, it seems a little odd that she offered.

Is there any way that you and your mom could plan the lunch? It still seems like so much to plan from 4 hours away though.
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
i kind of agree with meresal re: not hosting...given your relationship with her. i do see feeling a little guilty, even if someone didn''t make me feel that way i prob would anyway. i would prob just do a big gift to ease my guilt...hehe...like the stroller. and maybe suggest to one of HER friends or close fam members that they host a luncheon for her and offer to help if possible. hosting is a lot of work though and if you don''t totally adore her ... you prob will end up a little resentful? as for why she threw yours, some people just love to be involved with that kind of stuff. or maybe she wanted you to feel obligated now...just a thought!
 

upgrade

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2008
Messages
552
I''m not a fan of baby showers after the first baby either... I think the lunch idea is fabulous though. Still a get together to honour the new child, but no obligation to bring a gift (although most people probably would anyway).
 

Italiahaircolor

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,184
Without offending anyone...I hate going to 2nd baby showers. Especially if I went to the first. I don''t mind sending a gift once the baby is born...but I feel like constantly being invited to showers and spending money becomes such a drag. I don''t mind spoiling little ones at all...but I don''t want to buy two strollers for someone because the new baby might need blue and the other one was pink.
 

butterfly 17

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 17, 2005
Messages
2,681
Date: 12/21/2009 7:05:57 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Without offending anyone...I hate going to 2nd baby showers. Especially if I went to the first. I don''t mind sending a gift once the baby is born...but I feel like constantly being invited to showers and spending money becomes such a drag. I don''t mind spoiling little ones at all...but I don''t want to buy two strollers for someone because the new baby might need blue and the other one was pink.


Italia, I don''t want to pick on you, but your post makes no sense, lol.

"I hate going to 2nd baby showers..... constantly being invited to showers...."

A 2nd baby shower hardly constitutes as being constantly invited to showers. Unless the person is having one every 10 months, then being invited to two showers in the span of 2 to 6 years is hardly a lot. I think it''s worse being constantly invited to birthday parties for kids and adults, they happen every year and you always have to buy something.


"I don''t mind sending a gift once the baby is born.....spending money becomes such a drag. I don''t mind spoiling little ones at all..."

Okay, you don''t mind spoiling babies or sending a gift, but isn''t that spending money, which in your opinion is a drag?

"I don''t want to buy two strollers for someone because the new baby might need blue and the other one was pink...."

Okay, lets be honest here, have you ever really done this? Buy the same person two strollers? If you have and were bothered by it, then why would you do it? Why not pick something else on their list or just get them a gift cert? And if you haven''t actually bought someone two strollers, then you really can''t complain about it since you didn''t do it.
 

butterfly 17

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 17, 2005
Messages
2,681
Date: 12/21/2009 10:50:04 AM
Author: MustangGal
choyoyo and Meresal - I actually don''t really *want* to do a shower for her, and I didn''t do the last one, but I was just wondering if it was something I should do. I live 4 hours from her, so planning would not be the easiest. And I am a bit negative towards her pregnancy, she is be VERY annoying and attention seeking becasue of it. I get along OK with her, but I doubt we would be close friends even if we lived in the same city. I do feel a bit guilty about the crazy over-the-top shower she did for me this year, and I think that is mainly what''s pushing me into even thinking of doing one for her.


I''ll just wait and see if she says anything, and maybe her friend that did that last shower will step up again.


I was thinking of getting her a new stroller if I don''t have to host a shower, their old one is about to fall apart, and BIL was admiring the new one we got, so I might buy them one like mine.

Hi MustangGal,
It sounds like you don''t really like her and if I were in your position, I would just get her a gift certificate and call it a day. Especially if you are feeling a bit negative towards her pregnancy. If I were pregnant, I wouldn''t want someone like you around me. Seriously, because it would all seem very fake. Why would I want someone who feels negative about my pregnancy anywhere around me, KWIM? Would you want that if you were pregnant?

I wouldn''t even attempt to buy her a stroller bc unless she registered, who know what color she would pick, style, etc. For all you know, maybe she was admiring your new stroller but was only being polite for your benefit and has something else completely in mind.

Don''t throw her a shower, let someone else do it.
 

vespergirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 29, 2007
Messages
5,497
Date: 12/21/2009 7:05:57 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Without offending anyone...I hate going to 2nd baby showers. Especially if I went to the first. I don''t mind sending a gift once the baby is born...but I feel like constantly being invited to showers and spending money becomes such a drag. I don''t mind spoiling little ones at all...but I don''t want to buy two strollers for someone because the new baby might need blue and the other one was pink.
I agree with Italia on this one - the whole idea of a shower is to prepare a woman for the nest stage in her life by buying her the necessities that she will need. That''s why for a wedding shower, you get sheets, towels, appliances, etc. For a second wedding, I think it''s tacky to throw another big shower. I have been married twice, and did not register the second time around. I already had sheets, towels, dishes and the like. People still gave us wedding gifts, but I had already established a household with the first wedding.

When I had my first baby, I did actually have most of the big things provided as gifts - carseat, crib, dresser, changing table, glider, stroller, and highchair. I made sure to order everything in neutral colors (including nursery decor) so that they would be usable for the next baby regardless of the gender. I agree that it''s nice to give a gift of clothes or something when the second child is born, but a formal shower connotes purchasing larger gifts intended to set up a nursery. If you already have a child, you probably already have a nursery. There''s no need for another shower. I did not register now that I''m having a second child, and don''t want a shower this time around - I saved everything from the first time around.
 

MustangGal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2004
Messages
2,029
I think I''m coming across a little more negative than I actually feel, sorry! I do like my SIL, and I''m the closest thing to a real sister she''s going to have (she''s an only, and our DH''s family only has boys). I did host her bridal shower, so I guess I shouldn''t feel too guilty about the baby shower she did for me. She was just way excited about my pregnancy, and started picking the date for the baby shower the month we found out I was prego! I am excited for her, but my dislike of 2nd baby showers coupled with her constant whining about her pregnancy just made me not want to deal with it. I really asked the question just to know if my view of 2nd showers was common or not.

Thank you all for weighing in! I''ll wait and see how it all plays out...
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community Get 3 HCA Results
Top