Bridal Shower for Already Married Bride

[Clairitek]

I have been asked to be a Matron of Honor at a friend's wedding next October. She and her husband got married in a private ceremony with parents this past October and are planning a larger church wedding and reception in the bride's hometown. I was actually her MOH for a previous engagement that ended this past April and had made a lot of plans for her bridal shower. Oddly enough, I just listed all of the stuff I had gathered (for an Alice in Wonderland themed shower inspired by Mia1181) for sale on Wedding Bee on Thursday night and then the bride asked me to be her MOH on Friday night.

I don't want to sell the items if I am going to be throwing her a shower but then it occurred to me, does she even "deserve" a shower? What is the etiquette here? I figure her shower will be in the late Spring or early Summer so by then she and the groom will have been married for 7-9 months.

Thoughts? Experience? I really have no opinion either way, I just don't want to be throwing a party that most people would find to be rude or uncalled for.

Perhaps I can throw her a different kind of shower? Lingerie shower? Charity donation shower? Something like that?

 

[neatfreak]

I don''t think there is anything wrong with wanting to host a shower for your friend...have you talked to the bride about whether she wants one? She may not want to have one with presents and all.

Why not poll a few of the potential invitees and ask how they feel? They are closer to the situation and have more valuable opinions.

If you''re uncomfortable with a regular shower you certainly could have some other type of shower or even simply not call it a shower and just have a party to celebrate your friend.

 

[Clairitek]

Thanks neatfreak!

I think a different kind of shower or party is in order here but I''l check with the bride. I''m willing to plan whatever she desires. When I think of a bridal shower I think of it as an opportunity for the women in her life who know and love her to shower her with well wishes before she embarks on married life. Already being married, just seems odd.

This is a fun couple so I''m sure I can come up with something else to celebrate their relationship in a shower-like manner that isn''t exactly like a bridal shower.

 

[lliang_chi]

Hey Claritek, I''d ask your friend what she was expecting in terms of showers & B-part. My husband and I had what I called an "un-shower." Just a party at our place that we hosted as a "Hey, we''re getting married, and you guys are our good friends." We told them that we weren''t expecting presents or anything. It was really nice, and was just a nice way to hang out with friends. I don''t think people thought it was weird or anything. Maybe your friend was thinking of something along those lines.

Good luck and have fun!

 

[katamari]

I am generally very off-put by the idea of a bridal shower in any context, but especially in this situation, I agree that a gathering to celebrate the relationship would be best.

 

[Clairitek]

Talked to the bride and she said no shower or bachelorette party, just a fun girls'' day and night out! She wants to keep the wedding stuff as low key as possible.

 

[lliang_chi]

Ooooh! Clari that sounds fantastic. It sounds like it''ll be fun to plan (low stress) and a ton of fun to attend too!!! Yay

good luck!