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Advice from the ladies on a proposal idea?

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a large farva

Rough_Rock
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Finally made the plunge, after months of searching for the right diamond and setting, I''m ready to make it happen. Planning to propose in about 2 weeks.

Can some ladies around here comment on my proposal idea, and perhaps offer suggestions?

My plan is to do it over a weekend. Friday night, prepare a wonderful romantic dinner in. I cook for her all the time and we always make time-consuming involved meals, so hopefully she''ll think I''m just being nice. And include all the romantic stuff like flowers, candles, etc, etc.

Except this is a fake out. I know she''ll think the ring is coming - but this dinner is just to throw her off! I figure we''ll eat and finish the night with a movie or something..

The next day, when she''s least suspecting it, I''m gonna surprise her. There is a local winery which she absolutely loves, and we discussed going there together, since we''ve never been there together. I originally wanted to surprise her about the whole day - wake her up with the proposal and breakfast in bed, then surprise about the day at the winery.

But reading some other responses, some girls wouldn''t like to be proposed when just awoken up, or surprised by waking with the ring on her finger.

So I think here are my choices:
1) Wake her up with a surprise breakfast in bed, and a diamond ring.. and the surprise day at the winery.

2) Tell her ahead of time about the winery tour, surprise with breakfast and ring.

3) Surprise breakfast, tell about winery, and pop the question before we go?

I was originally going to hire a driver but am still tossing that idea around.

Any ladies have similar type experiences or suggest what they''d like? My GF enjoys getting dolled up for any occasion, and while I don''t think she''d hate waking up to a proposal, I don''t want her to look back and be upset that she was tousled from sleep.

Ant advice, comments, or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. The clock''s tickin!
 

TooPatient

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I don''t think having a fake dinner ahead of time is a good idea. If you look at the Ladies In Waiting list you will see how we all get our hopes up when a special dinner or event happens. And when the day is over and still no ring, it is very hard. There are some women who deal with it better than others. She may be okay and feel like going out the next day. Or she could be depressed. (I would be in the depressed group)

Would she prefer a public proposal or something just the two of you?
 

TooPatient

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If you want to make it a whole day thing, you might start with going to the winery. Tell her about it ahead of time. Plan to go to the winery. (if she knows it is coming, she''ll assume it will happen there) Just enjoy the winery.

Have a friend set up candles & roses while you are gone so they are waiting when you get home. Either with a nice meal or just a dessert.
 

D&T

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please no fake out... it would be such a depressing let down when she sees all this,, and then notta..... anyways, just surprise her at the winery or do an all day event but don''t tell her. Maybe that''s the fun part of it, otherwise, sometimes a big event usually is letting the cat out of the bag if you haven''t done it before kwim?
 

Amzizzle

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I''ve known women who''ve gotten a fake-out whether it be on purpose or not, and I''ve seen it cause fights and a lot of disappointment so I would forgo that,but I think it would be nice if you proposed outside the winery they always have such pretty fields,only if she likes the idea of a public proposal though.
 

diamondseeker2006

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I totally agree with avoiding the fake-out. A girl who is anxiously awaiting a proposal is going to be upset by that.

Either do it at the winery or maybe that evening when you get back home if you want to be totally alone. Or go back to your original idea of the romantic dinner and do it then.
 

AustenNut

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Frankly, I think there''s some charm to the idea of proposing to your girlfriend before she''s all dolled up. It''s comforting to know that your significant other loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, even if you have bed head and sleepy breath. Though she''d probably feel better if you at least wait until she brushes her teeth, even if she''s still in her pajamas with no makeup and her hair in a ponytail.
 

a large farva

Rough_Rock
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Well, I casually suggested to my girl the idea of going to the winery, and of course, she loved it. i asked her to pick a day when we can go, and she picked the first Saturday we have free.. which happens to be the day I was planning on anyway and I knew this was going to work out.

I think what I am going to do is just have a nice meal prepared for her Friday night, nothing too spectacular, but a nice night in.

I am not sure if I want to pop the question right before we leave for the vineyard, or possibly on the way there in the car. I think I''m going to nix the idea of asking her when she wakes up.
 

diamondseeker2006

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Can you find a spot at the vineyard to ask her? That would be such a pretty setting and a nice memory.
 

TooPatient

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Date: 10/10/2009 8:24:56 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Can you find a spot at the vineyard to ask her? That would be such a pretty setting and a nice memory.
That would be really nice. The photographer from winery might be able to help if you wanted.

If you are driving, I would do it at home or before leaving or at the winery. You want to be able to make eye contact and focus on her. And she''ll want to hug you.

(if it were me, I''d love a pretty place at the winery. Kind of private but doesn''t have to be totally secluded.)
 

ckrickett

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no fake out, that could take a sweet idea and really sour the whole experience.

What I would do is maybe hype up the dinner, and drop hints that you will propose at dinner but do it at the winery ahead of time.
 

a large farva

Rough_Rock
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Still tossing this idea around, trying to perfect it. New snags have arisen - Saturday is supposed to be rainy (so that cancels out the idea of proposing in the semi-private scene of the vineyard). Also, the W/S is on Saturday night, and since we both love the (opposing) teams playing in it, we will definately be watching.

I thought a cute way to propose would be to use her ring as the wine charm on her glass. They are charms which ring around the glass stem for identification purposes, usually a little token or decoration.

Now Friday night I am still tossing around going out to eat or eating in. I''d like to do the wine charm thing and feel that would work best at home. I was either going to do it that way or surprise her before the winery visit on Saturday.

Here''s my thoughts:

Friday night dinner in:
Pros
- private
- wine charm idea will work
Cons
- dinner with no other plans lacks celebration?

Friday dinner out:
Pros
- semi-private
- wine charm may work
- semi-celabratory since we''re out
Cons
- only semi-private
- lack control of situation

Saturday before winery visit
Pros
- element of surprise
- celebratory with wine visit
Cons
- 45 min drive to/from winery
- "impromptu" proposal in living room lacks "wow factor"

Either way Saturday evening will be an evening out at a restaraunt/bar, not romantic, since it must have the W/S playing on TV''s. It would be more casual fun atmosphere and I hope to share it with some of our close friends. So it will be a fun night but not very formal.

Anybody have any thoughts on my ideas?
 

LittleLovely

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I think the wine charm idea is really cute. I also like the idea of asking her on Friday and then being able to enjoy it all weekend! Personally, I like the private setting of dinner at home. Then, maybe you could go out for drinks/dessert if you feel like going out to celebrate. The vineyard would be fine too as long as you prepare for the weather. Bring an umbrella and galoshes and you can play in the puddles together!

Good luck this weekend!
 

TooPatient

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A nice dinner at home sounds like a good choice.

You could cook her favorite meal. Light some candles. Maybe roses?


Your wine charm idea is wonderful! So unique.


If you wanted to do it at the winery, you could arrange it with them ahead of time so that she was handed the glass with the ring in a semi-private setting. Maybe they have a restaurant you could have lunch/dinner at and she''d get the glass there?

You should call them to see what they would suggest. They might have a great location for such special events.
 

Luckyeshe

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Date: 10/26/2009 8:48:07 PM
Author: LittleLovely
I think the wine charm idea is really cute. I also like the idea of asking her on Friday and then being able to enjoy it all weekend! Personally, I like the private setting of dinner at home. Then, maybe you could go out for drinks/dessert if you feel like going out to celebrate. The vineyard would be fine too as long as you prepare for the weather. Bring an umbrella and galoshes and you can play in the puddles together!

Good luck this weekend!
I agree with Littlelovely. It''s nice to get to enjoy your engagement in private and then celebrate afterwards whether or not that''s going for a dessert celebration/ or just hanging out together at home. I vote for doing it on Friday. I love the wine charm idea too.
 

lingpanda01

Rough_Rock
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I agree with not doing the fake out. I didn''t do a fake out on the proposal. But I did do a fake out on not wanting to get married too early. So I pretended to not want to get married until another 4-5 years. Needless to say, she ended up being completely depressed where I had to forget the whole surprise thing and let her in on the truth. She''s expecting it in January or February, but I''m doing it next month instead.
 

CdnGirl

Rough_Rock
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Nov 10, 2009
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My vote is for Friday night dinner in. Intimate, sweet, romantic and not too over the top. Plus, you''ll both be on cloud nine all day on Saturday. Your other ideas are nice too. Just don''t do the fake out! Wishing you good luck.
 

boots7

Rough_Rock
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Sep 28, 2009
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How can you do it as a wine charm? I can''t see how you can get the ring onto the wine glass. I like the idea but would like to know how.
 

peterspixie

Shiny_Rock
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Oct 27, 2009
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111
I wonder how this worked out :)
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