Freaking out about the cost of the wedding!

[bobbin]

SO and I were talking yesterday about whether we wanted to get married in 2010 or 2011. We were both leaning towards 2010 as the year sounds better (as in it is easy to remember how many years we have been married down the track). We are also thinking about going on a cruise next year and were trying to work out whether we should spend a little bit more and it could be a honeymoon.

So today I go online and use a budget planner. We had thought we would try and keep it to $5000-8000 (small wedding, seperate reception, skipping a lot of detail), but there were so many things I hadn''t planned on, and I hadn''t thought about the cost of the honeymoon added to the cost of the wedding. It came to about $13,000 all up.

I just don''t know how on earth we will be able to afford that. We are planning on doing renovations over Summer this year, which will cost a bit. I don''t have a fulltime job, but I should be getting one in the next few months seeing as I have just graduated, so our income is up in the air, we don''t want to borrow any money and we don''t want to ask our parents for money.

Boo. We may just have to skip the larger seperate reception, or delay it to 2011, but I don''t REALLY want to do either.

 

[AustenNut]

If I were you I wouldn''t start to fret just yet. You might want to take a look at some more "budget" weddings. Kvetch.com is a forum that has a lot of brides doing it for less and have great ideas for how to keep costs low. The blog "A Practical Wedding" is one of my favorites; though it doesn''t necessarily talk about every dime that''s spent it gives a great perspective about the real reason why people marry. I think there was a blog called Two Thousand Only, or something like that, and basically if you start moving through the budget blogs you''ll find loads of info. Perhaps you will want to spend $5-8k for the wedding plus another $5k for honeymoon, but after reading about what other women have chosen to do you may realize that you don''t have to do all of the things listed on some of the wedding budgeters. But if you decide to do so then you can be happy with your decision, knowing you made the choice to do so, having been made aware of other options.

 

[4ever]

I''m nothing if not sensible and practical. To me weddings seem like just a really really expensive party. The amount people pay for a beautiful big wedding could be a really good chunk of a deposit on a house....I''d rather have the house.

Have your tryed listing your wedding priorities to figgure out what you don''t need to spend a lot of money on because it just dosn''t mater to you and your partner?

For example, one of my top priorities is really fantastic food and I will not compremise and save money and have average wedding food. However, It''s not important to BF and I to have every relitive and his dog attend so we can save alot by having a really small intamite celebration. Likewise I can''t imagine spending thousands on a dress, but I''d like a nice honeymoon and nice wedding bands.

Do you really care about having fresh flowers? Do you know anyone who could make your wedding cake for cost as a gift? Do you need an open bar? Could you or a friend DIY the invites? etc

And if you can''t comramise on enough to make your wedding affordable for next year, maybe weather waiting a tensy bit longer to get exactly what you want is worth it to you.

 

[babycush]

Why don''t you get married in a very small ceremony in 2010, just with your closest family and friends, and then save up to have a blowout 1 year anniversary party in 2011? Not exactly traditional, but it would give you the 2010 date AND the big party!

 

[cindygenit]

Date: 11/1/2009 11:24:46 PM
Author: 4ever
I''m nothing if not sensible and practical. To me weddings seem like just a really really expensive party. The amount people pay for a beautiful big wedding could be a really good chunk of a deposit on a house....I''d rather have the house.

Have your tryed listing your wedding priorities to figgure out what you don''t need to spend a lot of money on because it just dosn''t mater to you and your partner?

For example, one of my top priorities is really fantastic food and I will not compremise and save money and have average wedding food. However, It''s not important to BF and I to have every relitive and his dog attend so we can save alot by having a really small intamite celebration. Likewise I can''t imagine spending thousands on a dress, but I''d like a nice honeymoon and nice wedding bands.

Do you really care about having fresh flowers? Do you know anyone who could make your wedding cake for cost as a gift? Do you need an open bar? Could you or a friend DIY the invites? etc

And if you can''t comramise on enough to make your wedding affordable for next year, maybe weather waiting a tensy bit longer to get exactly what you want is worth it to you.

I completely agree with 4ever. We are having a fairly cheap wedding (65 guests) and the cost is about 12k. And about 2/3rds is food and alcohol. I am trying to keep the other costs as low as possible.

 

[UnderBlue]

2000dollarwedding.com did a great job and seemed to have a great, personal, meaningful wedding.''

I would *love* to emulate them with our wedding. (We''ve talked recently too and are looking at Oct. 2010).

We anticipate being in the Orange County, CA or Santa Monica area when we get married. So I''ve started trying to find venues. We are having a tiny wedding, inviting 40 people max, but I can''t find anywhere with what we want that''s even remotely within the budget we''d like.

On the 2000dollarwedding blog, they were able to rent a lodge/B&B type place so quite a few people could stay with them and it provided a kitchen so they could do all their own self catering. I would love to find a place like that in the area.

I did find one place that seems to have this set up, but it costs $8500 for the weekend, which is 4x more than I''d like to spend and almost 2x what we said our max would be. And even if we could get the price down, they don''t allow alcohol.

I''m starting to feel pretty defeated. We will be new in the area, so it''s not like we know someone with a house we can use. Renting a house costs thousands of dollars. I''ve seen a few cheaper catering options, but we have to have a place for people to eat. We''d really like it to be a weekend where we get to hang out with our friends and family.

I''m on the verge of calling Girl Scout camps in the area or moving it to another state. Maybe BBQ in a park...

 

[AustenNut]

UnderBlue,

It sounds as though you have a great idea about the state parks, and the possibility of going out of state. You might want to contact a wedding planner for a consult. This person should know the area well and all of the vendors and can point you in the right direction so that you aren''t running around in circles and getting needlessly frustrated.

And as was previously mentioned, make sure you prioritize what''s important to you. Because if it''s not important for you then it allows you to cut it out all together or spend very little on it. Good luck with your wedding plans!

 

[bobbin]

Thanks for your replies everyone. The problem is I don''t really know what is important to me. I know I want a *nice* wedding. I have been looking at all cheap options (but still decent) and it still adds up to $8500 at the moment and I haven''t even budgeted for flowers or cake or decorations.

However, I feel a bit better today because I worked out that once I get a full time job we should be able to save about forty thousand in a year with our combined salary.

I don''t feel like I can really talk to anyone about this yet as I am not yet engaged, but seeing as we have essentially set a date, and it is only 13.5 months away, I need to work out how we are going to be able to afford it!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 11/3/2009 4:43:04 AM
Author: bobbin

Thanks for your replies everyone. The problem is I don''t really know what is important to me. I know I want a *nice* wedding. I have been looking at all cheap options (but still decent) and it still adds up to $8500 at the moment and I haven''t even budgeted for flowers or cake or decorations.

However, I feel a bit better today because I worked out that once I get a full time job we should be able to save about forty thousand in a year with our combined salary.

I don''t feel like I can really talk to anyone about this yet as I am not yet engaged, but seeing as we have essentially set a date, and it is only 13.5 months away, I need to work out how we are going to be able to afford it!

easy, just send daddy the bills.

 

[miraclesrule]

Don''t listen to DF....

I like round numbers. When you''re old and gray, you''ll be able to do the math better in your head.

You know, it''s 2027, and you''ll be able to know it''s your 17th anniversary a lot faster than if you were married in 2011.

I opt for elopement with a party afterwards.

 

[bobbin]

Date: 11/4/2009 11:43:46 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 11/3/2009 4:43:04 AM
Author: bobbin

Thanks for your replies everyone. The problem is I don''t really know what is important to me. I know I want a *nice* wedding. I have been looking at all cheap options (but still decent) and it still adds up to $8500 at the moment and I haven''t even budgeted for flowers or cake or decorations.

However, I feel a bit better today because I worked out that once I get a full time job we should be able to save about forty thousand in a year with our combined salary.

I don''t feel like I can really talk to anyone about this yet as I am not yet engaged, but seeing as we have essentially set a date, and it is only 13.5 months away, I need to work out how we are going to be able to afford it!

easy, just send daddy the bills.

Can I send them to you instead??

My parents might help pay, but I am not going to ask them too, so I am trying to budget it so that we can afford it by ourselves.

Miraclesrule - that is exactly why we are leaning towards 2010!

 

[ringless]

It''s possible if you think about your budget realistically! Enlist the help of friends and family and try and make extra money where you can... skip getting starbucks, eating out, etc. We''re waiting a 1 1/2 years to get married (spring 2011) so we can save, save, save... we''re paying for most of the wedding ourselves. It can be really stressful but hang in there!

 

[JustLikeYou]

I''m glad I''m no frills and whenever I get engaged an have a wedding, it''ll be cheap.

On a sand bar at low tide and a reception at the beach house later with an iPod as my DJ and some burgers and hot dogs on the grill out back.

However I do want it to be on some really pretty sand bar in the Bahamas... so that part aint so cheap