Ex GF that just can''t take no for an answer!!!

[LitigatorChick]

Thanks for all your words of wisdom and support. This girl has emotional issues for sure (somewhere in every email, she says "I''m sure you think I''m crazy"), and had it bad for my man - and who wouldn''t

.

I''m just hoping this little "issue" is done for good this time. I don''t think Mr. LC could have been much clearer in his emails.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 10/5/2009 10:15:39 AM
Author: LitigatorChick
He wrote her back and told her not to contact him anymore - that it was disrespectful and inappropriate. Their relationship ended over a year ago, and there was no reason for them to communicate.

Guess what - she wrote back!!!! What a nut job! She said it was sad that I was so jealous of her and that maybe our relationship was in trouble. WTF!!! She doesn''t even know me or anything about me!!! Richard and I are ignoring her. So sad.

I am keeping the emails, both electronically and in hard copy. If this continues to escalate, I will be going to the courts to stop this insanity!!!

LC, exactly the reason why you both should have ignored her. I agree with Purrfect.

This isn''t highschool. You have him. He has you. Nothing to worry about if it''s a healthy relationship. Move on and just leave her in your dust.

 

[dani2142]

I agree. This crazy biatch won''t go away until you guys both ignore her. She is trying very hard to get attention and get a rise out of you so don''t let her!!! What a crazy biatch. She needs to get a dang life!!!

 

[Haven]

Date: 10/5/2009 12:20:19 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 10/5/2009 10:15:39 AM
Author: LitigatorChick
He wrote her back and told her not to contact him anymore - that it was disrespectful and inappropriate. Their relationship ended over a year ago, and there was no reason for them to communicate.

Guess what - she wrote back!!!! What a nut job! She said it was sad that I was so jealous of her and that maybe our relationship was in trouble. WTF!!! She doesn''t even know me or anything about me!!! Richard and I are ignoring her. So sad.

I am keeping the emails, both electronically and in hard copy. If this continues to escalate, I will be going to the courts to stop this insanity!!!

LC, exactly the reason why you both should have ignored her. I agree with Purrfect.

This isn''t highschool. You have him. He has you. Nothing to worry about if it''s a healthy relationship. Move on and just leave her in your dust.

Yes, thritto on the ditto.

Writing back to an irrational person sends one message, and one message only, which is: "I am still paying attention to you." To a crazy ex-girlfriend, it doesn''t matter what he wrote, just that he wrote. You would both be wise to ignore her completely from now on.

 

[princesss]

Date: 10/5/2009 1:53:42 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 10/5/2009 12:20:19 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 10/5/2009 10:15:39 AM
Author: LitigatorChick
He wrote her back and told her not to contact him anymore - that it was disrespectful and inappropriate. Their relationship ended over a year ago, and there was no reason for them to communicate.

Guess what - she wrote back!!!! What a nut job! She said it was sad that I was so jealous of her and that maybe our relationship was in trouble. WTF!!! She doesn''t even know me or anything about me!!! Richard and I are ignoring her. So sad.

I am keeping the emails, both electronically and in hard copy. If this continues to escalate, I will be going to the courts to stop this insanity!!!

LC, exactly the reason why you both should have ignored her. I agree with Purrfect.

This isn''t highschool. You have him. He has you. Nothing to worry about if it''s a healthy relationship. Move on and just leave her in your dust.

Yes, thritto on the ditto.

Writing back to an irrational person sends one message, and one message only, which is: ''I am still paying attention to you.'' To a crazy ex-girlfriend, it doesn''t matter what he wrote, just that he wrote. You would both be wise to ignore her completely from now on.

True. However, if they do have to go to court, it might be helpful that they have it in writing that he asked the ex-GF to leave him alone.

Hopefully your FI just marks her e-mails as spam and moves on.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Okay...a couple of things...

First, you''ve received a lot of really good advice, sometimes doing nothing makes the most impact. Engaging someone in "please stop contacting me" game is a slippery slope. She is getting what she wants (at least half way)...he''s thinking about her (point goes to her)...he''s e-mailing her (point goes to her)...he''s listening to her (point goes to her)....see the pattern? Although he''s not saying what she wants to hear, she''s getting his attention, maybe it''s not lovey/dovey reconnecting attention--but it''s attention nonetheless. She''s guilty of only missing her ex-boyfriend--I think most of us have been there before and it''s a tough spot to be....I don''t think legally engaging her makes sense.

Secondly, if you''re really bothered by this you can do non-legal things on your front to ensure the contact ceases. First of all, changing an e-mail address is one of the easiest things to do in order to stop receiving e-mail, right? I know you''re probably thinking "but everyone has this address, what a pain to change it!"...but seriously, how badly does he want the e-mails to stop? Badly enough to send out a mass e-mail to everyone but her that his address has changed? It doesn''t seem overly complicated. If I wanted someone to stop e-mailing me, I''d change my address. No big deal in the grand scheme...the benefits would far outweigh the grief.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 10/5/2009 1:53:42 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 10/5/2009 12:20:19 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 10/5/2009 10:15:39 AM
Author: LitigatorChick
He wrote her back and told her not to contact him anymore - that it was disrespectful and inappropriate. Their relationship ended over a year ago, and there was no reason for them to communicate.

Guess what - she wrote back!!!! What a nut job! She said it was sad that I was so jealous of her and that maybe our relationship was in trouble. WTF!!! She doesn''t even know me or anything about me!!! Richard and I are ignoring her. So sad.

I am keeping the emails, both electronically and in hard copy. If this continues to escalate, I will be going to the courts to stop this insanity!!!

LC, exactly the reason why you both should have ignored her. I agree with Purrfect.

This isn''t highschool. You have him. He has you. Nothing to worry about if it''s a healthy relationship. Move on and just leave her in your dust.

Yes, thritto on the ditto.

Writing back to an irrational person sends one message, and one message only, which is: ''I am still paying attention to you.'' To a crazy ex-girlfriend, it doesn''t matter what he wrote, just that he wrote. You would both be wise to ignore her completely from now on.

Quadritto. A simple push of the "Delete" button would solve the problem, as would blocking email from her address or changing his, as Italia suggested; talk of legal action and such seems so extreme and such a waste of time, yours, hers, and the courts.

 

[trillionaire]

sorry, but this seems really overblown. She sent an email saying ''hi'', she didn''t solicit sex or anything.

*shrugs*

 

[littlelysser]

I agree with PP and TG.

Really, who cares that she sent him a text and wrote him back? He''s with you. Not her.

I understand where you are coming from. My DH had an ex-girlfriend that didn''t want to let go. She''d email or call him periodically, last time was about a week before our wedding a few years ago. Sure, it bothered me a bit, but he was cordial with her, told her he was about to get married and that was the end of the conversation.

I didn''t feel the need to go after her or get angry, because we were about to get MARRIED. I knew she was the past, I was the present and the future.

 

[LitigatorChick]

All you input is appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Amzizzle]

I actually had a similar problem,but reversed. I had a guy who wasn''t even an ex (I just worked with him) start getting very attached to me and switching shifts to work with me and etc.I decided to confront him and tell him I did not feel the same way,and he already knew I had been dating my BF for a long time,that ended up making him show up at my doorstep crying and sending my BF into quite an angry spiral.We moved and sent him away and he constantly text me (this guy was a little more then just obnoxious)We decided to just ignore the texts and after about two weeks he gave up and we haven''t heard from him in a few years.So I fully agree with the ignoring technique,but if it keeps persisting that''s when you get the courts involved

P.S
Sorry to hijack the thread a bit.

 

[mousey]

I had a similar (ish) thing with my ex. I put him on my junk list and changed my number. Doing both those things really helped. He has rang my family home (the only number he has for me) a couple of times in the middle of the night, but that is about it. Also, I found when I did reply (saying I don t want anything to do with him) that was seen as encouragement. The only way to go is stonewalling- she ll lose interest over time.
Sorry though... I do remember how distressing it was. Whenever he contacted it made me feel guilty and wierd (I know I know, irrational). I went overboard trying to make my FF feel like I did nt encourage him. FFs attitude was, I trust you (and then shrug). But it is horrid. Hope she desists soon. Hugs.

 

[Scorpioanne]

Your FI''s note to tell her not to contact him was what is needed should he decide he wants to go to the police and have her charged with what we in Canada call criminal harassment and you likely call stalking. That statement is required to let the suspect know the attention is unwanted.

Many posters are telling you that he should just ignore her and that is the best way to get her to leave him alone but stalkers can be dangerous even fatal. And yes, women are as guilty of it as men. As a matter of fact women are likely to do crazy stuff like throw the results of bodily functions if you know what I mean. I heard of a woman who threw a bucket of "stuff" all over her target''s new bride''s wedding dress.

Stalkers are nothing to mess with and they do not just go away. I worked with a client who had been stalked for over 30 years and the stalker is still trying to get at her through the court system.

Take care of yourself as you do not want to become a secondary target.

I recommend that you read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker, he has lots of good advice.

 

[setell]

Date: 10/4/2009 2:05:46 AM
Author: jaylex

Date: 10/2/2009 1:25:15 PM

Author: purrfectpear

Date: 10/2/2009 12:15:57 PM

Author:LitigatorChick

In July, I vented about my FI's ex contacting him with drunk phone calls and 'I want you back' texts/emails. Here's my thread. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ex-gf-returns.120091/page-2


Well, SHE'S BACK........


She emailed him Tuesday night to say 'hi'. Yah right. GO AWAY!!!!!! This girl has one goal and one goal only - getting my FI back.


I am furious with her. I want to email or phone her and give her a piece of my mind.

Why? Do you own him? Seems like this is his business, and up to him to handle. What would you say 'leave my FI alone, he's MINE'? Maybe you don't mind sounding like an insecure teenager, but I think I'd pass on the giving of a piece of mind.

Woah, purrfect.. I'd say that's a little harsh. If my fiance's ex was still trying to contact him I would consider it my business. Does she own him? No more or no less than he 'owns' her. I'd say that being someones fiancee gives you a lot of 'ownership' (if you HAVE to call it that) over someone. It's a huge commitment and although I agree that she should ignore the B****, does LC have a right to lay claim on him and be pissed off by this relentless intruder? You better believe it, sister! What is Mr. LC doing by putting a ring on her finger and proposing? Besides making a lifelong commitment, you know that it's by some fraction a sign to other men saying 'back off! This woman is MINE!'. LC has the right to feel that way towards her FI, IMO.

Man...being engaged means that you got "part" ownership of your significant other? I am sorry but I don't believe that at all. Being engaged means that your significant other has pretty much declare they want to be with you that is all. You don't lay "claim" to anything or own anything! That is how I view things as even if you're married you can get unmarried just as easily.

OP, I agree with what some of the ladies have said. You are blowing this way out of proportion and this just shows how insecure you are too. Does it really matter she emailed him to say hi? How bad is a hi? Does him being with you mean he cannot ever talk to his ex's? I read your other thread too and some of the things the ex did was out of line but this current incident isn't out of line if it's just a email with a hi. Also, this whole suggestion of calling the cops/charges etc. is just another thing that shows how you're not confident with your relationship. Some of things you are doing is also out of line. I mean from the last thread you wanted to be BCC'd on the emails? Why not be just CC'd and show your FI's ex that you know what is going on? Why hide from it? I honestly think you need to work on your trust and confidence in your FI to handle this like an adult vs resort to childish ways like "give her a piece of my mind" type of attitude. You say you don't have self esteem issues but this clearly shows you do. Makes me wonder if your FI can have good female friends that happen to be his best friend too. How will you feel about that? That you may not be the only person he tells how he's feeling to or he tells things he doesn't tell you to his female best friend? 'sigh' there is a chinese word for how you are acting and it isn't a pretty term to be associated with.

Overall, I personally think some of you ladies are looking at it from one side and calling the poor girl a biatch is just out of line too. What has she really done though other then be a bit tacky by contacting an ex? What if it was a nasty emotional breakup and she's not 100% over it? It was a little over a year ago but sometimes to heal the heart it takes more time then that. If anything, OP's FI has broken up with her, found OP and then engaged with her. How do you think the ex feels? What if the ex did nothing wrong? We don't know the full details of their relationship (I wonder if OP even knows the full details) so we shouldn't be calling people biatches nor ba$tards either. If anything it doesn't paint OP's FI as a saint either!

Anyway, most of you guys will probably find what I said offensive as I am not giving the advice you all want to hear but you gotta look at it from the full picture and not use your emotions. LC, use your critical analysis skills and not your emotions.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 10/5/2009 12:20:19 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 10/5/2009 10:15:39 AM
Author: LitigatorChick
He wrote her back and told her not to contact him anymore - that it was disrespectful and inappropriate. Their relationship ended over a year ago, and there was no reason for them to communicate.

Guess what - she wrote back!!!! What a nut job! She said it was sad that I was so jealous of her and that maybe our relationship was in trouble. WTF!!! She doesn''t even know me or anything about me!!! Richard and I are ignoring her. So sad.

I am keeping the emails, both electronically and in hard copy. If this continues to escalate, I will be going to the courts to stop this insanity!!!

LC, exactly the reason why you both should have ignored her. I agree with Purrfect.

This isn''t highschool. You have him. He has you. Nothing to worry about if it''s a healthy relationship. Move on and just leave her in your dust.

Ditto.

 

[TooPatient]

Just got an e-mail from B''s ex. Nothing too shattering. Just that she is moving. (a bit closer to us but not too bad)

We did the same as we always do. DO NOT REPLY TO THE EX. Forward to attorney for his files.

We tried ignoring her. It made it worse. (threats of abuse charges and all sorts of crazy stuff) We had to have our attorney write a formal letter and send to her & her attorney.
Things kept going for awhile and all we did was ignore & send to the attorney.
Our attorney had to contact her attorney and the message was finally gotten.

She finally has started to kind of leave us alone. She still tries to call about once a month and there is still the periodic e-mail but we just ignore her. Pass on to the attorney (every last communication) so it is on file if needed later.

He left her about 6 years ago after 6 years of a miserable marriage. Divorce was finalized over 4 years ago. Haven''t seen the kid in 3 years.


Sometimes just ignoring doesn''t work.


Hope your situation resolves quickly LC. It isn''t an enjoyable way to live life.