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what is up with people calling you and saying that they want you to change things on your registry??

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cocolaw

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honestly?? i dealt with this with fmil when i first registered. she didn''t think i should register for white towels. and i don''t remember what else she didn''t like. she went back through my registry and had more changes for me yesterday. she also didn''t like that i registered for 10 sets of our casual place settings, that it is always in 8 or 12, but that i guess we could keep it like that. this woman is *not* let me repeat *not* emily post (remember...she wanted to uninvite people to the wedding). who has time for that???????
 

Diva0413

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LOL!!!!!!!

That reminds me of FMIL telling FI and I that she wanted to buy us the dish rack we registered for, but wouldn''t because it had to many bad reviews in her opinion.
 

cocolaw

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oh and get this......she told her friends who are buying off of our registry that they can use the registry as a guideline but that we don''t have to have exactly what is listed. ok if people want to buy off of our registry, rather than select something on their own (i don''t care...either way it''s much appreciated), then i would rather that they buy the knives that we picked out, because we picked them out for a reason. we didn''t pick them out just because we want knives. same for all of the other cookware!!!
 

Diva0413

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Date: 8/25/2009 11:53:19 AM
Author: cocolaw
oh and get this......she told her friends who are buying off of our registry that they can use the registry as a guideline but that we don''t have to have exactly what is listed. ok if people want to buy off of our registry, rather than select something on their own (i don''t care...either way it''s much appreciated), then i would rather that they buy the knives that we picked out, because we picked them out for a reason. we didn''t pick them out just because we want knives. same for all of the other cookware!!!
Oh that''s messed up. But exactly; there''s a reason you picked what you picked. So sorry you have to go through this. Are they at least buying stuff from the same place so you can do an exchange?

BTW, my FSIL did something similar. Refused to buy anything off of our registry, but "bought" me wine glasses from my bridal shower. I''m convinced she re-gifted.
 

purselover

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I thought this only happened to me! Within 24 hours of creating our registries my great-aunt and mother actually went over all our items together and then made notes on how we could improve it, and FI''s mother called and criticized too! Apparantly we are not capable of picking out the correct number of wine glasses we really need.
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MagsyMay

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Oh geez! Now I have this to look forward to in the future as well! Ha!

The point of a registry is that the couple PICKED it out! Who''s to judge a couple''s choices?? If they want it, they want it! Buying off-registry is fine of course, but if it is very similar to something that is ON the registry, and someone else purchases that... then one of the two gifts is likely going to have to be returned or exchanged!

Maybe you could gently suggest that to your FMIL? That telling people things on the registry are just "guidelines" will undoubtedly lead to more work down the road in the nature of returns, exchanges, etc. and that you''d rather avoid the hassle?

I''m sorry you''re having all these problems Cocolaw!! Hang in there, it sounds like you''re handling it all with grace and class!
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cocolaw

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really!!!!!! i think it is so rude. we had an entire registry full of things that we actually needed and wanted. fmil bought fiance and me an automatic can opener from william sonoma because she said that we need one. our apartment is TINY. we do not have room for those types of electronics....and i would rather use that space for a food processor (or another electronic we registered for). i have this can opener in the closet because it is big, and it always takes longer for me to try to make the magnet on the can opener work than for me to just use the simple one.

it''s the general "i know better than you" idea that irks me.
 

kittybean

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Oh, my gosh--that is just incredibly aggravating and impolite! I wouldn''t ever dream of criticizing someone''s registry, even if it were my brother and he chose the wackiest stuff imaginable. It''s not my house or my life, so why try to "edit" the registry as if it were somehow my choice? People can choose to buy gifts from the registry or not, but asking the couple to change their registry is in such poor taste. The only comments I received on my registry were positive, but if I had gotten any negative comments, I would be so shocked and offended.

Hopefully there will be gift receipts included with everything your FMIL''s friends give you so you can return those things you don''t want! Can you return that ridiculous can opener?
 

MakingTheGrade

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Haha, I can only imagine what she would have said about my registry which included wireless keyboard, xbox adapter, and external hard drives..
 

cocolaw

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Date: 8/25/2009 1:21:13 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
Haha, I can only imagine what she would have said about my registry which included wireless keyboard, xbox adapter, and external hard drives..

haha i just saw this. let''s not even go there....i cannot imagine that it would be good lol!!
 
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