JANUARY?!?!?

[SparklyLibra]

JANUARY???

Why is he torturing me like this? He must be trying to throw me off, he has to be! He told me the end of the year, as I told him there are certain folks I'm not saying anything to until we're official. Nevermind the family that I will need to rally together to assign tasks to. (believe me, I have florist, seamstresses, bakers, and decorators in my family) But I refuse to pipe up and ask them for help without an official engagement. Coupla reasons: One of my cousins just got engaged and her date is one month later than the date that FFI and I chose. Now, because she is in the US and I am in Canada, that doesn't leave alot of flexibility for the fam to make the trek up north as I know they would had they had more time

I don't think it would be fair to be comin at the fam with, "well by the way aunty so and so, actually FFI and I already have a date and its before cousins", when he hasn't properly proposed yet! (my family is big on traditional and are sweating us all the time just for living together unmarried) I just don't wanna come across like I'm trying to upstage my cousin any more than it might already appear since our date was picked and venue held since before she was even engaged...

Granted, FFI already knows I need more time to plan a wedding and our date is for the end of May

Why oh WHY is he being so mean?

And another thing, he says he would prefer if I didn't go telling my huge family until he put the ring on my finger... He says that it means alot to him to actually have a ring on my finger before announcing anything, and I really do wanna respect that. Just like I don't want to take away his surprise by letting him do it on his own timing....

But what's a LIW to do?

Ladies, talk me down.. I'm about to lose it!

~sl

 

[princesss]

Okay, back away from the LIW ledge.

It will be worth it. When he proposes it will all be worth it. And then everybody will be excited and surprised and thrilled for you. So back up and let him take control. You trust him enough to marry him, trust him on the timing!

 

[idreamofcushions]

I know exactly what you''re going through. Just hang in there, it''ll all be worth. The more I tried to control the situation (timelines, etc) the more frustrated I became. My original idea was to get married next spring, but my SO''s sister (who''s younger) got engaged last year and picked the same month I had in mind. Then I picked a different date the following year and my cousin (who''s 18!) proposed to his girlfriend and plans to get married on the exact date I had chosen! So trust me I know how ya feel. I had to just let go and leave it up to my SO, I''ll worry about the details later

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

I agree that he must be trying to throw you off. I think he just wants to try and make it a surprise for you, but its harder on these boys of ours when they have such independent women at their sides who know what they want and when they want it

Hang in there sparkly! And dont worry about your family. One wedding is spectacular enough, two weddings (regardless of which comes first) is even more of a blessing and just gives your family more reason to celebrate together.

 

[SparklyLibra]

princess: That was just the slap across the face I needed to get back to my senses You''re right, I trust do trust him. Plus he knows how I get panicked when I don''t have time to do what I need to do... He knows how OCD I am about being organized, so if nothing else, for the sake of his own sanity, he must be trynna throw me off...

IDOC: That is so frustrating! But it sure does make for exciting times for the whole family overall. Everyone is already in a celebrating mood.

Sailorsweet: Thanks for reminding me of what a blessing more weddings really are. I think I just had a lapse there and began panicking because my aunts have been breathing up my froc to hurry up and get married so they can come and do their thing for my wedding.

Ladies, you are the best. I think I just lost it for a moment and needed to cry on the shoulders of the only ppl that would ever understand (and have the good sense enough not to entertain my madness, lol!

)

~SL

 

[princesss]

Sometimes we all just need a push in the right direction.

In the meantime, I find making plans for other things helps. Have you thought about what you''re getting him for Christmas/Hanukkah? Things like that are fun to plan, and then you''ve got a little surprise of your own to focus on.

 

[jcarlylew82]

Date: 10/5/2008 7:10:29 PM
Author: princesss
Okay, back away from the LIW ledge.

It will be worth it. When he proposes it will all be worth it. And then everybody will be excited and surprised and thrilled for you. So back up and let him take control. You trust him enough to marry him, trust him on the timing!

yes, step away from the ledge!!! I totally understand what its like to be frustrated, but dont ruin the surprise for you, and your family by telling early!

 

[SparklyLibra]

Date: 10/5/2008 9:14:33 PM
Author: princesss
Sometimes we all just need a push in the right direction.

In the meantime, I find making plans for other things helps. Have you thought about what you''re getting him for Christmas/Hanukkah? Things like that are fun to plan, and then you''ve got a little surprise of your own to focus on.

Excellent Idea Princess! I will have to be EXTRA creative where Christmas is concerned. He spent alot on my birthday gift and flat out made me promise not to go overboard with any holiday gifts till after the wedding. We agreed that my birhtday gift and my E-ring on top of the wedding costs will trump any holiday gifts, and promised to do everything from scratch. So considering my holiday budget is non existent, I better get to working on some home-spun, personalized holiday fun for him!

~SL

 

[dcgator]

Hey SL,

I totally am right standing at the "edge" too. My FF and I are very open and have talked about the wedding a lot. In fact, due to a potential 4 month work assignment for him, we are trying to get married before he goes, which mean we are shooting for a May/June wedding. Of course, my OCD is kicking in big time as well. We are looking at a 125+ person marriage out-of-state, which is causing me to go into over-drive. I really have so many things I would like to do, etc. but he doesn''t want me doing anything until the ring is on my finger. I know I would like that too, but of course, its hard to wait

Well, I know he has begun the process of getting the ring made, which makes me feel much better, so now I know the wait won''t be as bad. But in the meantime, hopefully we can keep each other from going over the edge!

 

[SparklyLibra]

Date: 10/6/2008 9:54:17 AM
Author: dcgator
Hey SL,


I totally am right standing at the ''edge'' too. My FF and I are very open and have talked about the wedding a lot. In fact, due to a potential 4 month work assignment for him, we are trying to get married before he goes, which mean we are shooting for a May/June wedding. Of course, my OCD is kicking in big time as well. We are looking at a 125+ person marriage out-of-state, which is causing me to go into over-drive. I really have so many things I would like to do, etc. but he doesn''t want me doing anything until the ring is on my finger. I know I would like that too, but of course, its hard to wait

Well, I know he has begun the process of getting the ring made, which makes me feel much better, so now I know the wait won''t be as bad. But in the meantime, hopefully we can keep each other from going over the edge!

DCGator! So u understand the predicament then? Sigh... We''ll definitely have to keep each other sane. Have you started calling around to different vendors in the desired state? Maybe in the meantime you can start getting some idea of costs & logistics so its not so overwhelming when the time comes.


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~SL