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Changing your name

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janinegirly

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So I''m finally ready to change my last name-with a baby on the way, I want us to all have the same last name! I was hesitating b/c of all the paperwork and also b/c DH''s last name is sooo long and my maiden name is so short and easy! But I''m ready (and plan on making my maiden name my middle name).

Anyway, I''m wondering the best way to do this? From what I read it means getting a new Soc Sec Card (I''ve pretty much got that part done, just need to go to the SS Office to submit), and then applying for a new passport. Kind of annoyed with the passport thing because I renewed it 2.5 years ago, and now I have to fork over another $60 just for a name change! Then there''s the drivers license--which I don''t have (no need in the City), so I''ll wait until I do get one to worry about that.

Is that enough. or if I even just do the soc security card to start, is that legal enough? I figure I''ll change credit card/bank statements as they come along--I dont'' think that has as much legal bearing.
 

tiffanytwisted

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I did the social security card and drivers license first. Then I had ID to do everything else. If you don''t have a drivers license you may need some other form of id for the bank, etc. I did all credit card statements as they came in.
I still haven''t done my passport, I need to!
 

AmberWaves

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In CA, the first thing I did was change my SS card, and with that I did my ID. Don't have a passport, so I don't need to worry about that part! I used my new ID to change the bank info, the credit cards. Don't forget to change your insurance information!!! You have to change your payroll, basically anything that is associated with your SSN you need to change. Since if your payroll name doesn't match your SSN name, you may be all messed up for taxes and all that.

I changed my IRA info, my beneficiary information, banks, credit cards, cell phone accounts, home phone and cable.

According to my accountant, when you change your name with SS, you MUST change all items associated with it that reference your SS number.
 

neatfreak

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I hate to say this, but if you are going to change it formally you really should do everything. Otherwise it can get confusing and some people won't let you access accounts, etc. if you don't have the same name on all your accounts. While I was in the process of switching it was a PITA.


You will need to start with your SS card, than ID or Drivers License, then Passport, then everything else.
 

AmberGretchen

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Ditto on starting with your SS, then getting some form of photo ID (I guess if you don''t have a DL, it would have to be your passport) w/ your new name. One word of advice - make several copies of your marriage license and have them handy when trying to change things. Sometimes even with photo ID AND a SS card in my new name, they still wanted to see a copy of the marriage license/certificate.
 

Tacori E-ring

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I did the same thing (dropped my middle name). Go to the SS office first, then DMV. Some places are easier to change than others (banks want to see the ML) I still haven''t changed my passport and just made my ticket in my maiden name when we went to Mexico recently.
 

NewEnglandLady

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Hey, Janine!!

You're in NYC, right? I'm not sure what the laws are in NYC, but I know in MA when I added my maiden as a second middle, in order to do it LEGALLY (not just cosmetically), I had to go through the court system to get a second middle name added (the lawyer I consulted about this informed me that the same goes for those wanting to change their middle name to their maiden).

I think the DL, SS and Passport are the big 3--those were the first I changed, then bank accounts, insurance, bills, blah blah blah.

ETA: I needed a few original (notorized) copies of the ML, but only one court doc.

ETA (again): I did some research on this and to change your middle name to your maiden name you do have to go through the court system, unfortunately. Here is a link to it:
http://www.courts.state.ny.us/forms/namechange.shtml

Long story short, you have to fill out all the paperwork above. Take the paperwork, birth certificate and proof of residence to court (I'm told you have to get there early) to see if you can see a judge that day or if they will assign you a court date (I got lucky, my friends didn't). This is where it gets tricky in the state of NY, though. You have to have hte name change printed in the newspaper, and then the newspaper sends you an affidavit & copy of the printed name, which you have to go back to court to file (I believe) where you get all of the official paperwork.

It's expensive and a pain, but probably worth it in the end.
 

Dreamer_D

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Date: 6/10/2008 7:07:55 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
Hey, Janine!!

You're in NYC, right? I'm not sure what the laws are in NYC, but I know in MA when I added my maiden as a second middle, in order to do it LEGALLY (not just cosmetically), I had to go through the court system to get a second middle name added (the lawyer I consulted about this informed me that the same goes for those wanting to change their middle name to their maiden).

I think the DL, SS and Passport are the big 3--those were the first I changed, then bank accounts, insurance, bills, blah blah blah.

ETA: I needed a few original (notorized) copies of the ML, but only one court doc.

ETA (again): I did some research on this and to change your middle name to your maiden name you do have to go through the court system, unfortunately. Here is a link to it:
http://www.courts.state.ny.us/forms/namechange.shtml

Long story short, you have to fill out all the paperwork above. Take the paperwork, birth certificate and proof of residence to court (I'm told you have to get there early) to see if you can see a judge that day or if they will assign you a court date (I got lucky, my friends didn't). This is where it gets tricky in the state of NY, though. You have to have hte name change printed in the newspaper, and then the newspaper sends you an affidavit & copy of the printed name, which you have to go back to court to file (I believe) where you get all of the official paperwork.

It's expensive and a pain, but probably worth it in the end.
We have similar laws in Canada. Obviously, I can't comment on the steps to follow for name change in the US, but I thought I'd tell you my story in case it affects your decision making process.

I originally wanted to do what you are planning: take DHs last name and make my maiden surname a middle name. But of course found out that such a change requires a legal change of name, it cannot be simply assumed as can be a last name! When I thought about what this actually entailed, I decided to simple assume DHs last name and keep my name legally as is.

Here is the problem as I saw it: Say my name is Little Miss Muffet, and I marry John Doe. I wanted my name to Little Muffet Doe. To do this means that I would have to be re-issued a birth certificate in my new name (Little Muffet Doe) and pay the fee and have the public announcement made etc etc etc. I was not comfortable with legally changing both my middle and last names, and having my birth certificate changed too. In the past, due to some other name changing issues brought about by my parents divorce, I have found that any legal documents that deviate from what people expect (e.g., having a birth certificate in a married name, rather than a maiden name) just confuses the heck out of government and bank employees
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, and such confusion can be annoying. Also, for some reason it felt like abondoning my past, and I loved my old middle name.

Anyways, in the end I legally kept my name as Little Miss Muffet, I assumed the married name of Little Miss Doe by taking my marriage liscence everywhere and filling out 1001 forms like the PP described, but professionally and when I publish I go as Little Muffet Doe like I originally wanted to... okay that sounds complicated but it actually wasn't, and I am happy with that option.

Anyhoo, this may not of helped at all but thought I'd share
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shigidigi

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I was just thinking of doing this as well but California makes it so complicated. The SS office says that I have to show my legal name change before I can have my name changed on my SS card, but the DMV needs a SS card with the new name on it- so how on earth do I get a legal name change??

Why do they make this so complicated?? My mother said when she got married she just started using my father''s last name with no documents and such, and yet it all worked out... I am so jealous.
 

AmberWaves

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Shigidi, I jsut changed mine a few months ago in LA, when I went to the SS office I just filled out the name change form, showed them my certified marriage license and that was that. The DMV didn''t even ask for my SSC, just took my certified marriage cert and the name change form and that was that. Of course, as I know from experience (I went to THREE DMVS!), the procedure differs for each office- no joke.

As for NY, my friend who lives in Queens was able to change her name to First, Middle, Maiden and New Last without a court order (I didn''t need one, either), but it just took a couple of tries.
 

shigidigi

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Thanks Amberwaves! It does bother me that men never have to go to such lengths...
 

FireGoddess

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Date: 6/10/2008 10:33:38 AM
Author:janinegirly
\ and then applying for a new passport. Kind of annoyed with the passport thing because I renewed it 2.5 years ago, and now I have to fork over another $60 just for a name change! Then there''s the drivers license--which I don''t have (no need in the City), so I''ll wait until I do get one to worry about that.
You don''t need to get a new passport. You need to file for a name change and send yours back so they can write in your new name on the back page. I don''t recall paying anything for that...if I did, I''m sure it wasn''t $60 for a computer written amendment to a passport I already paid for.
 

ephemery1

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Janine, I'm so glad you asked this question! I haven't officially decided whether to change my name yet, but now with a baby on the way, I'm definitely considering it. The problem is, I love my middle name (Joy -- same as my mom and cousin and soon-to-be daughter) and don't want to sacrifice it, but I'm also attached to my maiden name and wouldn't want to get rid of that either. But it sounds like if I were to just add DH's last name onto mine, and have 4 names, it would make everything even more complex than it already is?

My maiden name is short and simple (similar to "Gray") and DH's last name isn't too tough either (similar to "Bennett"). I hate the look of a hyphen, but I'm wondering if I might be able to go by Gray Bennett as a last name professionally/legally, and Bennett socially/informally, without causing too much trouble. So rather than add another middle name, I guess I'd just be lengthening my last name (but without a hyphen)? Anyone done this?

Ugh... I think I'm too lazy to deal with all this.
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janinegirly

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Date: 6/11/2008 8:47:35 PM
Author: FireGoddess

Date: 6/10/2008 10:33:38 AM
Author:janinegirly
and then applying for a new passport. Kind of annoyed with the passport thing because I renewed it 2.5 years ago, and now I have to fork over another $60 just for a name change! Then there''s the drivers license--which I don''t have (no need in the City), so I''ll wait until I do get one to worry about that.
You don''t need to get a new passport. You need to file for a name change and send yours back so they can write in your new name on the back page. I don''t recall paying anything for that...if I did, I''m sure it wasn''t $60 for a computer written amendment to a passport I already paid for.
According the state department website, you can request a name change wtih no fee IF the passport was issued less than one year from request. Well, most people wont fall into that category..mine was issued 2.5 years ago. So I will have to reapply and pay the $60. It''s ridiculous to me...if I''m reading the info wrong, please let me know...I''d love to avoid the fee! Otherwise I''ll probably hold off on passport for awhile.

Thanks everyone for the feedback! Not wanting to go through court order to change my middlre name though..I''m going to try to sneak it through, and if it doesn''t work, guess I''ll keep my middle name and use maiden name as middle socially,etc.
 

robbie3982

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Date: 6/12/2008 9:29:05 AM
Author: janinegirly

Date: 6/11/2008 8:47:35 PM
Author: FireGoddess


Date: 6/10/2008 10:33:38 AM
Author:janinegirly
and then applying for a new passport. Kind of annoyed with the passport thing because I renewed it 2.5 years ago, and now I have to fork over another $60 just for a name change! Then there''s the drivers license--which I don''t have (no need in the City), so I''ll wait until I do get one to worry about that.
You don''t need to get a new passport. You need to file for a name change and send yours back so they can write in your new name on the back page. I don''t recall paying anything for that...if I did, I''m sure it wasn''t $60 for a computer written amendment to a passport I already paid for.
According the state department website, you can request a name change wtih no fee IF the passport was issued less than one year from request. Well, most people wont fall into that category..mine was issued 2.5 years ago. So I will have to reapply and pay the $60. It''s ridiculous to me...if I''m reading the info wrong, please let me know...I''d love to avoid the fee! Otherwise I''ll probably hold off on passport for awhile.

Thanks everyone for the feedback! Not wanting to go through court order to change my middlre name though..I''m going to try to sneak it through, and if it doesn''t work, guess I''ll keep my middle name and use maiden name as middle socially,etc.
I had to pay the money to change my name on the passport. I got mine about 5 or 6 years ago so I was well over the 1 year limit. I had to get a whole new passport with new picture and everything.

Firegoddess, was yours less than a year old?
 

Burk

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I''m just now changing my last name due to baby. It was just soo confusing when I had my maiden name at the hospital, calling to make appts for her, ect. So, I bit the bullet, so to speak, and changed it. When I went to the DMV, I tried to keep both my maiden name and married last name on my driver''s license without a hyphen because a co-worker told me she did that and the lady at the DMV said I couldn''t do that. She said I had to hyphenate. So I just ended up taking my husband''s last name. I did DMV and SS. Still working on all the rest.
 

FireGoddess

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Date: 6/12/2008 10:46:43 AM
Author: robbie3982

Date: 6/12/2008 9:29:05 AM
Author: janinegirly


Date: 6/11/2008 8:47:35 PM
Author: FireGoddess



Date: 6/10/2008 10:33:38 AM
Author:janinegirly
and then applying for a new passport. Kind of annoyed with the passport thing because I renewed it 2.5 years ago, and now I have to fork over another $60 just for a name change! Then there''s the drivers license--which I don''t have (no need in the City), so I''ll wait until I do get one to worry about that.
You don''t need to get a new passport. You need to file for a name change and send yours back so they can write in your new name on the back page. I don''t recall paying anything for that...if I did, I''m sure it wasn''t $60 for a computer written amendment to a passport I already paid for.
According the state department website, you can request a name change wtih no fee IF the passport was issued less than one year from request. Well, most people wont fall into that category..mine was issued 2.5 years ago. So I will have to reapply and pay the $60. It''s ridiculous to me...if I''m reading the info wrong, please let me know...I''d love to avoid the fee! Otherwise I''ll probably hold off on passport for awhile.

Thanks everyone for the feedback! Not wanting to go through court order to change my middlre name though..I''m going to try to sneak it through, and if it doesn''t work, guess I''ll keep my middle name and use maiden name as middle socially,etc.
Firegoddess, was yours less than a year old?
I will check!
 

sumbride

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I added my DH''s last name onto mine, so my name is now First Middle Maiden Last. Technically I say I have 2 middle names, but I often have to leave the 2nd one (Maiden) off of forms if they don''t have the room. And it''s confusing as my Maiden is definitely a "last" name. But I don''t mind the confusing nature... growing up named Summer has been "confusing" enough for people. I pretty much just use my last name, but I didn''t want to lose my Maiden, so I kept it.

First go to Social Security. They will make your name whatever you put on the form. Then the DMV HAS to deal with it. I think it''s New York that tries to make you hyphenate. That''s just completely ridiculous! Why should you HAVE to hyphenate? Grrrr.... The funny thing about my new SS card is that there wasn''t enough room for all four names on one line, so it''s the first three, and then the last name on the 2nd line, centered. Kind of looks like they just typed it onto my old card or something.
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As for passports, if it is more than a year old, you definitely have to get a new one, and yes, you have to pay for it. Mine was about 8 years old, so it wasn''t such a big deal to spring for it, but the 2 year old one would bug me. I think it is due to the new type of passports, but I''m not sure. The new ones are scannable and they may just be making sure you get the new one... no idea really though.
 

FireGoddess

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Passport date of issue: July 29, 2002
Passport date of name amendment: November 25, 2003

That means it's a fact I submitted it past a year old because I didn't get married till the end of September 2003. Perhaps the year thing is a newer rule. (which sucks)
 

phoenixgirl

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My passport was 4 years old when we got married (2004), and I filled out the paperwork and mailed off my passport . . . only to get my old passport back with a note on the last page that said something like, "This is to note that the bearer has changed her name to X Y Z."

In our days of heightened security, I was not comforted to note that no security agents ever gave a second glance to the fact that the front page of my passport has my maiden name and the ticket has my married name. The only time anyone ever noticed was when we were trying to collect our money for being bumped from an Air France flight. Then they said, oh, we can''t give you this money, the names don''t match . . .

Why they didn''t just issue me a new passport, I don''t know. Was I supposed to send in a new picture?
 

dani13

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I went back and forth re: changing my name completely vs. keeping my maiden name at least professionally, but in the end, I switched over completely to my married name. It just got too confusing. I have changed everything now, except my passport. Does anyone know how I go about doing that? Havent researched it much yet, but figure I should do it sooner than later....
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sumbride

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Dani - If your passport is more than a year old, you will need to send in new pictures, a renewal form (DS-82), an original marriage license, and your old passport along with a check, of course!

Here''s the information from the passport site: US Passport Info
 

dani13

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Date: 6/15/2008 9:41:03 AM
Author: sumbride
Dani - If your passport is more than a year old, you will need to send in new pictures, a renewal form (DS-82), an original marriage license, and your old passport along with a check, of course!


Here''s the information from the passport site: US Passport Info


Thank you so much Sum!!!
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Dreamer_D

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Date: 6/11/2008 11:02:13 PM
Author: ephemery1
Janine, I''m so glad you asked this question! I haven''t officially decided whether to change my name yet, but now with a baby on the way, I''m definitely considering it. The problem is, I love my middle name (Joy -- same as my mom and cousin and soon-to-be daughter) and don''t want to sacrifice it, but I''m also attached to my maiden name and wouldn''t want to get rid of that either. But it sounds like if I were to just add DH''s last name onto mine, and have 4 names, it would make everything even more complex than it already is?

My maiden name is short and simple (similar to ''Gray'') and DH''s last name isn''t too tough either (similar to ''Bennett''). I hate the look of a hyphen, but I''m wondering if I might be able to go by Gray Bennett as a last name professionally/legally, and Bennett socially/informally, without causing too much trouble. So rather than add another middle name, I guess I''d just be lengthening my last name (but without a hyphen)? Anyone done this?

Ugh... I think I''m too lazy to deal with all this.
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Ephemery, that was my first plan... and I even changed some of my ID so I had two last names ,no hyphen, and I sent an announcement to my friends and family about the change.... but they were all sooooooo supremely confused and people didn''t know whether to cal me Ms. Dachsie or Ms. Dreamer Dachsie, so I ended up changing it AGAIN on the ID and just straight out took his last name and kept my middle name (which I also adore, like you). I find I don''t miss my maiden surname like I thought I would, and I use it professionally, so it isn''t so bad.
 

tiffanytwisted

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Joined
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792
DD- It does get confusing for other people. 2 of my cousins (they are sisters) were attached to their last names. I still can't keep them straight. I think one hyphenated, one added his name without a hyphen, I never know when I address something to them which is which.
 

janinegirly

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So, I went to the Soc Sec office today and offiially changed my name. Made my maiden name my middle name. They didnt'' ask any questions which is nice because I didn''t want to have to deal with the court order thing! I feel a little sad losing my middle name (never thought i''d be so attached to my names), but it had become more of a nickname anyway.

Next I will go to the DMV.

However I think I will hold off on the passport. I don''t want to shell $60 for a barely 2 yr old passport and from what I''m hearing it doesn''t prevent travel (I guess I''ll keep ticket in maiden name to make it easier), and it''s not like we''ll fly internationally more than 1x a year. Does anyone think this will be an issue?

Am I missing anything? I''ll slowly make my way through cc''s, banks, other accounts etc, since I guess some of that does get reported to the IRS.
 

Dreamer_D

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Date: 6/30/2008 2:58:23 PM
Author: janinegirly
So, I went to the Soc Sec office today and offiially changed my name. Made my maiden name my middle name. They didnt'' ask any questions which is nice because I didn''t want to have to deal with the court order thing! I feel a little sad losing my middle name (never thought i''d be so attached to my names), but it had become more of a nickname anyway.

Next I will go to the DMV.

However I think I will hold off on the passport. I don''t want to shell $60 for a barely 2 yr old passport and from what I''m hearing it doesn''t prevent travel (I guess I''ll keep ticket in maiden name to make it easier), and it''s not like we''ll fly internationally more than 1x a year. Does anyone think this will be an issue?

Am I missing anything? I''ll slowly make my way through cc''s, banks, other accounts etc, since I guess some of that does get reported to the IRS.
I''m glad that you could make the change you wanted without any hassels at Soc Sec. Hopefully other places won''t cause issues, I know when I changed mine every place had a different rule about what type of proof they needed. If you have your Soc Sec card in the name you want, though, that should go a long way!

As for the passport, technically I believe you are required to have all your ID in the same name, so if for any reason you got caught (can''t imagine how this would happen), you might get a stern talking to, or you might run into bigger issues? But really, I know lots of women who used their old passport and never had any problems.
 

janinegirly

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thanks DD.

Yea I can''t imagine them (airport security) knowing my name had changed, I don''t imagine the US gov''t agencies being that efficient and talking to each other. And I would just play dumb and say oops, we never travel, I''ll get right on that! In the end, if they really want people to be on top of it, they should not charge $60! That just seems like a way to gather more cash for no good reason rather than actually wanting uniformity for security measures.
 

Dreamer_D

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Date: 6/30/2008 3:29:39 PM
Author: janinegirly
thanks DD.

Yea I can''t imagine them (airport security) knowing my name had changed, I don''t imagine the US gov''t agencies being that efficient and talking to each other. And I would just play dumb and say oops, we never travel, I''ll get right on that! In the end, if they really want people to be on top of it, they should not charge $60! That just seems like a way to gather more cash for no good reason rather than actually wanting uniformity for security measures.
I agree... the more likely scenerio would be if for some reason they saw your DL or other ID and passport at the same time... but again, not that likely.
 
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