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Holiday with a Drug Dealer

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Independent Gal

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OK, how is THIS for a very confusing discovery. Here I am at my dad''s house. He just left on holiday with his wife and I''m sticking around for a while to get wedding stuff planned and spend time with my grammy and some of my friends.

The only other person here is one of my step-sisters who is a very nice girl: bright, interesting and considerate. She''s a sophomore at a prestigious university, home to work for the summer.

Oh yeah, but then there''s her boyfriend who''s always here. A high school drop out 19 year old with a 2 year old daughter. I just asked what he does for a living, and apparently, he sells drugs. WHAAA??!
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I''m trying to wrap my head around how it is ok with her highly educated, somewhat uppity upper middle class mom and my dad that this guy has practically moved into their house. They must not know. I mean they must not know what he does for a ''living''. But they know about the other stuff. I mean, I''m sure he''s very nice...??? but suddenly I''m thinking I should be hiding my jewelry. And locking my door?

WHA!?? Do you ever have one of those moments where the sky seems green and the grass blue? WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON ?!?? I mean, I thought it was weird he was allowed to sleep over. But this is too much. How is it that this is ok with my dad?

Now I wonder if I should tell them, but probably I should mix out.
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surfgirl

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IG, given that your Dad is in a business that''s higher profile, IIRC, I think you owe it to your Dad to tell him. And you should probably tell the step-sister that you have to do so. That way you''re not hiding anything from anyone. And YES, lock up your personal items or dont let them out of your site. That is totally weird.
 

iheartscience

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Date: 8/6/2007 9:33:34 PM
Author: surfgirl
IG, given that your Dad is in a business that''s higher profile, IIRC, I think you owe it to your Dad to tell him. And you should probably tell the step-sister that you have to do so. That way you''re not hiding anything from anyone. And YES, lock up your personal items or dont let them out of your site. That is totally weird.

Yikes! I agree with surfgirl-give your Dad the scoop. I would maybe leave the step-sister out of it, though, and just go straight to your Dad.
 

Kaleigh

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I'd definitely tell your dad. He's got a drug dealer living at his house!!! Step sister can make her own decisions, but she's not the one providing the roof over her drug dealer boyrfiend's head. I also worry about the 2 year old. Gosh what a mess.
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monarch64

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I agree, you should tell your dad. And hide the jewelry! Who knows why "good girls" like "bad boys," but it happens. It sounds like she has way too much going for her to be tied up with a loser like this guy...I hope you''re able to get the matter resolved without too much trauma. Best of luck.
 

Richard Sherwood

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Tell the Dad. He's being put at risk as the head of household. If drugs were found in his house he would go straight to jail, and have to spend thousands getting things straight (and probably never completely redeeming his reputation).

The drug dealer needs to go to jail. The step sister needs to grow up and realize her boyfriend is (currently) a loser, who might pull out of it if everybody around hims starts holding him accountable for his behavior.
 

Kaleigh

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Date: 8/6/2007 10:56:44 PM
Author: Richard Sherwood
Tell the Dad. He''s being put at risk as the head of household. If drugs were found in his house he would go straight to jail, and have to spend thousands getting things straight (and probably never completely redeeming his reputation).

The drug dealer needs to go to jail. The step sister needs to grow up and realize her boyfriend is a loser.
Yup!! Your dad can be taken to jail over this, in a nano second. They don''t mess around with this sort of thing. Trust me if the cops come tonight, you are going to be hauled off too!!
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perry

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Tell you father; and you might wish to consider your not staying in the houshold yourself.

I'd lose my job if I stayed in a situation like this and my company heard about it (note my job requires a security clearance and their are few second chances with drugs). Even if I was totally inocent and arrested as part of a general situation I'd be on administrative leave until it was sorted out (and I must report all arrest).

Why is it that it seems so many gals (and some guys) are always trying to save the loosers. I've seen too much of this (but perhaps I'm biased).

Perry
 

Independent Gal

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Hmmmm... you all make good points. I do have to say something to Dad when he becomes reachable again (he's incommunicado on his holiday for a bit).

Dad doesn't live in the United States and the drug laws here are not as strict. They certainly wouldn't haul him off to prison, particularly because I'm certain no dealing is happening HERE. But still.

(Oh and Surfgirl, its more my step-dad that's 'high profile' ... at least in a way where this would be a DISASTER... But still).

It's true that I really just don't GET why step-sis is dating such a LOSER. I mean he is polite and apparently treats her great. And she says it's definitely just a summer fling (good... imagine if she wanted to bring him to my wedding! NO WAY IN HECK!). But still!!!! What is she thinking? She's not a silly teen anymore.
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And she actually told me that she was hoping she could 'help him' out of this difficult period in his life. I asked her how she thought that would make HIM feel and whether she thought that was healthy for her. She saw my point, so at least that.

ARGH!!!
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Kaleigh

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So the laws are lax there. Does that make the situation any different?? Maybe it does. I dunno, having a drug dealer living with your step sis, in your Dad''s house sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. Don''t kid yourself, where the heck is he keeping the drugs?? Even if no sales are conducted on your dad''s property, I''d bet they are stashed for safe keeping on the property. That puts everyone at risk. No matter what country you live in. I pray all works out!! Hard postion to be in. So I feel for you, IG!!!
 

iheartscience

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I think you might have answered your own question, IG-"(Oh and Surfgirl, its more my step-dad that''s ''high profile'' ... at least in a way where this would be a DISASTER... But still)."

The stepdad is her dad, right? Maybe she gets a thrill out of hanging out with a boy whose activities could ruin her dad''s professional life if she was found with him when he was dealing drugs?
 

diamondfan

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I have been around this type of guy in high school, though I did not do drugs some of my friends did. It is probably best to be low key, lock your stuff up, but steer clear. I would mention it to your dad, but if he finds out you told, how is he likely to act or react? Just a question because I am a bit fearful of this type of person, one never knows what they could be capable of if pushed. Be careful. And that baby, I just feel so sorry for any child in that situation.
 

door knob solitaire

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Am I missing something...? I'm I the only one with a problem with this?

I find it incredibly hard to believe when asked ...ANY drug dealer would answer that way. Are you sure his answer wasn't being flip-it about the audacity having been asked?

This particular chosen field is held together with secrecy and the need to juggle a ton of plates in the air. I find it very difficult to believe when asked he would reveal and risk exposure just to "save face"- I mean to answer his lack of employment. If this is actually true, you not only have a illegal lowlife...but an extremely stupid one...risking demise to all of your family. Undoubtedly he has made other erroneous mistakes along the way.

Dealers are loved by no one. Despised by all. I wouldn't worry as much about my possessions, as I would my life. He has what others want...others whacked out of their heads...a locked door won't be sufficient to stop them.

DKS

That 2 year old child needs your intervention...this is no time to risk the innocence.
 

crown1

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i do not mean to be rude but if i were you i could not be a part of such a household. if you believe this to be true then why are you still there? if you have knowledge that this person is a drug dealer being sheltered in the same house you are staying you are putting yourself in harm''s way.

from the posts i have read, that you make, you are smart, educated and have a level of sophistication. you know the score and need to remove yourself from this place. you have publicly stated you know what is going on. computers are seized for information. protect yourself.
 

luckystar112

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Sounds like the type of punk kid who is desperate for the reputation of a hardcore drug dealer, when really he probably just sells some weed to his friends and has limited access to the "hard stuff". Just the fact that he would tell you that so nonchalantly is so funny to me! (Edit...it isn't clear if you asked HIM what he did for a living, or the step-sister, but either way)
He sounds like the exact type of guy I would have gone for at her age!!! A loser, with a kid already, homeless, with no job......*SWOON!!!!* I dated a guy just like him....I think most of us "good girls" have had at least one!

But yeah....he needs to get out of your dad's house, and step-sister needs to kick him to the curb!
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Edit:
And to clear up the confusion, I'm pretty sure IG is staying with her father and step-mother right now. This is step-mother's daughter.

Her step-father, married to her mom, is the high profile family member. Right?
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Independent Gal

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OK, a few clarifications, then an end to this thread.

The kid sells a little marijuana. He is not, nor has presented himself as a 'hard core drug dealer'. Step-sis told me that's how he makes money, when I asked her. He's broke. Has no bling. Rides a bike (as in, bicycle, not motor bike). And comes across as a polite, soft-spoken, goofball, loser 19 year old, who is not the least bit threatening. Certainly not armed. Not dangerous. Not violent. Not "as pictured on tv". He doesn't posture. He cooks. He asks polite questions. He seems shy. He's a dopey totally misguided kid who needs a MAJOR kick in the backside, a serious lecture from a 'been there done that', and a year or two to cool his jets in JAIL, where, hopefully, they'll make him finish his education.

1) YES I have a HUGE problem with this! And NO, it definitely doesn't make it 'OK' that the drug laws here are lax! It just makes it EXTREMELY unlikely that my dad nor, very likely HIM, nor me nor my step-sis is going to get hauled off to jail. People just don't take marijuana use or low level dealing very seriously around here. But I DO!!! So that's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried about the very serious moral issue, the issue of step-sis's obviously MASSIVELY misguided judgment (she may ditch him, but what does this say about HER?), and whether this kid, shyness aside, would be the sort to help himself to a sapphire ring or a piece of silverware if he thought he could get away with it.

2) Also, he is not actually LIVING here. He just comes over for sleepovers. (I sais 'practically moved in', meaning, he's here a LOT). He has his own place and a roommate and they spend maybe 1/3 of the nights over there. And however nutty step-sis is, I'm 100% certain she would not let him deal here. None of his 'friends' come over. And frankly, this place probably wouldn't be convenient for his 'friends' anyway.

3) The embarassable step-dad is far, far away.... oceans away. Has never met this kid. She belongs to my biological dad's newest wife. And honestly? It wouldn't ruin dad and step-mom's reputation if people knew. People would definitely question their parenting though.

LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW!!!!
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Holy moly, people.

As soon as he's back in cell range, I'm calling my father. Then I'll let him handle the situation. And then I'm off to visit my brother and sister in another city.
 

Independent Gal

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Over breakfast I learned that the room-mate is also his partner in crime. Hence his ability to crash at his gf''s parents'' place and neglect his ''business'' which I began to wonder about. I''m taking step-sis out this morning and I''m going to press her a bit about why she thinks this is ok. Gently, not accusatorily. Just see if I can get her to THINK about it.

Lucky: what was the attraction?! (I mean, other than discount dope!)
 

Richard Sherwood

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Oh geez, a little pot. I thought you meant he was a drug dealer.

I withdraw all my comments. He sounds like a mixed up teenager. Not the best situation, but the last thing you want to do is throw him in jail with hardened criminals and get him trapped in "the system". He'll come out a far worse threat than he ever was before.
 

Independent Gal

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Since when is marijuana not a drug? Guess I better tell step-sis there''s no point in smokin'' it then!
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I agree it''s MUCH less serious than if he was selling crack or something, but it''s still, technically, against the law to sell it. It''s still shady and irresponsible. And it can still cause harm. Plus, potentially exposing his daughter (and my step-sis) to shady people.

OK, gotta run! Step-sis awaits. Little does she know she''s in for a (gentle) ear-full.
 

Richard Sherwood

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Date: 8/7/2007 9:30:36 AM
Author: Independent Gal
Since when is marijuana not a drug?

Granted it's a drug, but I consider it less harmful than alcohol, and the era we live in now to be very similar to Prohibition. Sooner or later marijuana is going to be legalized.

I'm not endorsing it. I know it's controversial, but I consider it a bigger crime to turn a pot smoker into a hardened criminal. I consider it cruel and unusual punishment.

In the last year of her cancer, my straight-laced, church-going, kind and compassionate wife found considerable relief from marijuana. It relieved her constant nausea like nothing else, and gave her a general feeling of well being, with none of the harsh side effects of the other drugs the doctors were prescribing.

Yet technically, in today's system, she would be considered a criminal, and could have been jailed.

Which would have been the greater crime?
 

door knob solitaire

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Richard,

What an emotional addition to this conversation. What can one say to you that is appropriate, other than I didn''t know and I am so sorry what you endured...and even more what your wife had to. My deepest sympathies.

However that comparison is in no way a great argument to lessen the severity of one kid getting this however controversial substance into the hands of another child who in turn may take it to the next level. We are talking about a DEALER. Not a casual user. If you accept just one dollar from it...you are dealing. Granted he isn''t driving a new Ferrari or wearing a Tag watch...more than once is patterned here. I bet cha he isn''t meeting 70 year old Grandmothers with arthritis or stage 10 cancer patients...in parking lots. It is more like 13 year old boys willing to steal jewelry from their mother to pawn. (Because 13 year old boys rarely have gainful employment). You can''t exactly ask your parents for a 20 for your weed. OH, Have you ever misplaced yard equipment? Or tools...probably a neighborhood boy needed 20 bucks for a little funky grass. It touched all of us in some way.

While still stupid in HS I knew of a guy who grew it. He and his BIL would take 4 hours to travel 2 miles to allude a trail-to check on the crop. They were deceptive, sneaky, dishonorable and mischievous on a level of evil. One is now in Fed prison the other...permanently injured from a car accident because he was stoned out of his head on WEED. Nothing else. In hindsight, I wish I had done something...as these two lives and the train wrecks effected so many of their family members. One father was an elected official. Had to resign...the others marriage broke up...and in the end the family farm was lost.

It isn''t as innocent as liberals have made you believe. It still REEKS (no pun intended) havoc on lives. Legal or not.

My 2 cents...man...do I have the munchies!!
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Dsk...I mean Skd...sskkd...door ks....."this is your brain on drugs"

let me try again....I think it should be DKS!! Yeah! Nothing but freshly mown fescue on this brain!!
 

surfgirl

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nevermind...not worth it.
 

psadmin

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Thank You DKS. I second your thoughts.



Independant Gal I am sorry about your situation. I hope the Pricescope community can help you with your dilemma.

I have opened this topic so that Independent Gal maybe be able to get some help

Please stick to the topic of helping her and not about whether any illegal activity (drug use, drug dealing, tax fraud, diamond smuggling, etc) is right or wrong.



Andrey
PS Admin
 

surfgirl

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Date: 8/7/2007 1:06:52 PM
Author: PS Admin
Thank You DKS. I second your thoughts.


I understand you dilemma Independant Gal and feel for you, but Pricescope is not a place to discuss any illegal aspects such as ( tax-fraud, drug dealing, diamonds smuggling, etc)



Andrey

PS Admin
Andrey, similarly, I would also hope that PS is not the place for comments such as this either:
It isn't as innocent as liberals have made you believe.
As it is very political and offensive to some here.
 

luckystar112

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IG, I''m not sure what the attraction was...lol. I look back on it everyday and wonder what I was thinking. Maybe it was the bad boy aspect of it? The idea that other people "liked" him? No idea. All I know is that now he is married to a stripper, he has two kids that he doesn''t support because he doesn''t have a job, and a mutual friend has told me he sits around his house playing video games all day. He''s 28, btw.
 

gailrmv

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Andrey, I didn''t know a better place to comment, but just wanted to say welcome to being a PS admin! Are Leonid and Irina still admins as well?
 

door knob solitaire

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Andrey...awww shucks. Thanks for your second on my thoughts
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.

It is great knowing you are behind us with a safety net! I am usually the one one with just one toe hanging on to the edge-great save! Your gentle nudge was a respectful intervention...and I just wanted to let you know I appreciate the thread access again. As it was my involvement that stopped the conversation. Indie needs help...can anyone else offer an insight?

DKS
 

monarch64

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IG, with respect to Andrey, all I have to say is that I hope the situation works out for all involved. Best of luck to you and your family!
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nebe

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I''m from an upper middle class family and my mom had an affair with a drug dealer, she left my father for him after I decided to let my dad know, too. People do weird things. You just have to hope they don''t get shot walking to the car because of it.


Tell your dad. People deserve the truth, even if you think it would protect them not to. IMHO.
 
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