Was it worth it?

[LabRatPhD]

I''ve been following this thread and I fee like a a lot of interesting responses have come up. I am less than 6 months out and I have been asking myself if all of this is worth it. Like some, if the matter had been up to solely my FI and I, we would have eloped or planned a very very small non-religious ceremony and party. My parents wanted something totally different - a big (to me) reception and a Hindu marriage ceremony. At first I was upset with my parents for requesting this of us, but they offered to pay for 80% (and FI''s parents 20%) and I guess I became apathetic. Now I am happy. It has brought me closer to my parents than I ever was. I also reconnected with family in India, many of whom I hadn''t seen in over 15 years. They are also excited to be attending my wedding and I couldn''t be happier. I still cringe at how much the venue costs and how much we spent on my dress, but seeing my family''s excitement over it all makes me feel like it IS worth it. Maybe not to me financially, but emotionally it is. To my parents, I know it will be worth it, financially and emotionally.

Maybe it is not the most important day in some people''s lives but I will chalk it up to being one of the most important in mine - just like FI''s graduation from law school, and my future graduation with my PhD, and the birth of our future children. I am happy that it has brought us all together, and to me, that makes all of this worth it.

 

[meresal]

"it's one day, and frankly, not even the most important day of your life, though I guess it's easy to forget that bigger picture when you're inundated with all the little details.."

Just like EVERY bride, I am allowed to decide what I deem important in my own life. Our Wedding Day, a day that I will most definitely remember for the rest of my life, has so far been the most important day in my life. All of my family and friends were there to see me become the wife of the man that makes me the happiest I have ever been. THAT is a very important day to me, and I chose to celebrate that as a huge party. Mine and my DH's choice.

The "Bigger Picture"... Yssie is assuming that any bride who has a lavish wedding has lost sight of "this". (Which I would still like to know what Yssie deems is the "Bigger Picture" in wedding planning.) I do not understand how you can make such a blanket statement about people you don't even know. That is judgemental.

I found the comment rude, because it effected me. If you didn't find it rude, fine... I'm not looking for "back up". I'm just stating my opinion on how it came across, as someone that answered about my wedding be TOTALLY worth every penny we spent, earlier in the thread.

When I make a personal opinion, I use the words "Me/Mine/Ours". I don't use words like "Your".

Trill- I have no problem with any of her post up until this last sentance. That is all I am talking about. You also mentioned in your post, that is "IS only one day". I will say again, that is your opinion on your own wedding. Please try not pass those feelings onto all women, as you do not know what every Bride's priorities are.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 2/19/2010 2:12:24 PM
Author: meresal
''it''s one day, and frankly, not even the most important day of your life, though I guess it''s easy to forget that bigger picture when you''re inundated with all the little details..''

Just like EVERY bride, I am allowed to decide what I deem important in my own life. Our Wedding Day, a day that I will most definitely remember for the rest of my life, has so far been the most important day in my life. All of my family and friends were there to see me become the wife of the man that makes me the happiest I have ever been. THAT is a very important day to me, and I chose to celebrate that as a huge party. Mine and my DH''s choice.

The ''Bigger Picture''... Yssie is assuming that any bride who has a lavish wedding has lost sight of ''this''. (Which I would still like to know what Yssie deems is the ''Bigger Picture'' in wedding planning.) I do not understand how you can make such a blanket statement about people you don''t even know. That is judgemental.

I found the comment rude, because it effected me. If you didn''t find it rude, fine... I''m not looking for ''back up''. I''m just stating my opinion on how it came across, as someone that answered about my wedding be TOTALLY worth every penny we spent, earlier in the thread.

When I make a personal opinion, I use the words ''Me/Mine/Ours''. I don''t use words like ''Your''.

Trill- I have no problem with any of her post up until this last sentance. That is all I am talking about. You also mentioned in your post, that is ''IS only one day''. I will say again, that is your opinion on your own wedding. Please try not pass those feelings onto all women, as you do not know what every Bride''s priorities are.

Well, excepting the few people who have multi-day celebrations, it is one day. That is not an opinion, or a feeling, nor anything to do with priorities. If you are counting rehearsals and brunches, etc, then I would argue that we are talking semantics. I''m glad you enjoyed your day, as I hope to enjoy my own.

 

[Clairitek]

NF- I understand where you''re coming from. I was in your shoes about a year ago when I was in the midst of planning a weddding that could have cost around $30k. $15k of that was going to come from us and the rest from parents. Everything came to a head when I was in tears on the phone with DH asking, "Can you guarantee that it will be worth it and we won''t have any regrets about spending all that money the day after the wedding?" and he couldn''t make that guarantee and I knew deep down I couldn''t wrap my mind around it.

So we ended up having a 35 person wedding with a day after thing. The total cost was probably around $15-$17k and I think we paid for about 6-7 of it. I just knew deep down that there wasn''t any way I wouldn''t regret spending all that money the day after. I didn''t want my first thought the morning after my wedding to be, "Oh man, we overspent."

I guess what I''m trying to say is that I don''t regret downsizing at all. I don''t really feel bad that I missed out on my first dance or a father-daughter dance (though I think my dad is a little bummed about that). So, if you think that you might regret spend a lot of money the day after, I would seriously consider doing a smaller, less expensive wedding. Just remember, the end result is the same either way! You''ll be married.

 

[meresal]

Date: 2/19/2010 2:30:41 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 2/19/2010 2:12:24 PM
Author: meresal
''it''s one day, and frankly, not even the most important day of your life, though I guess it''s easy to forget that bigger picture when you''re inundated with all the little details..''

Just like EVERY bride, I am allowed to decide what I deem important in my own life. Our Wedding Day, a day that I will most definitely remember for the rest of my life, has so far been the most important day in my life. All of my family and friends were there to see me become the wife of the man that makes me the happiest I have ever been. THAT is a very important day to me, and I chose to celebrate that as a huge party. Mine and my DH''s choice.

The ''Bigger Picture''... Yssie is assuming that any bride who has a lavish wedding has lost sight of ''this''. (Which I would still like to know what Yssie deems is the ''Bigger Picture'' in wedding planning.) I do not understand how you can make such a blanket statement about people you don''t even know. That is judgemental.

I found the comment rude, because it effected me. If you didn''t find it rude, fine... I''m not looking for ''back up''. I''m just stating my opinion on how it came across, as someone that answered about my wedding be TOTALLY worth every penny we spent, earlier in the thread.

When I make a personal opinion, I use the words ''Me/Mine/Ours''. I don''t use words like ''Your''.

Trill- I have no problem with any of her post up until this last sentance. That is all I am talking about. You also mentioned in your post, that is ''IS only one day''. I will say again, that is your opinion on your own wedding. Please try not pass those feelings onto all women, as you do not know what every Bride''s priorities are.

Well, excepting the few people who have multi-day celebrations, it is one day. That is not an opinion, or a feeling, nor anything to do with priorities. If you are counting rehearsals and brunches, etc, then I would argue that we are talking semantics. I''m glad you enjoyed your day, as I hope to enjoy my own.

I''m not counting extra days, and I''m not arguing semantics... I''m just saying that some brides (and grooms) choose not to see it as "one day", but instead as our "Wedding Day".

If you want to look at it like a regular day that is comparable to all others, that is your choice. I just do not agree, I believe that a day such as my "Wedding Day" is one that I get free reign over to make as extravagant or not, becuase it is indeed not just any other day in my book.

We are all able to disagree, but there is no need to tell other people where their priorities should be. (You did not do this, I am referring to Yssie''s post)

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/19/2010 2:30:41 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 2/19/2010 2:12:24 PM
Author: meresal
''it''s one day, and frankly, not even the most important day of your life, though I guess it''s easy to forget that bigger picture when you''re inundated with all the little details..''

Just like EVERY bride, I am allowed to decide what I deem important in my own life. Our Wedding Day, a day that I will most definitely remember for the rest of my life, has so far been the most important day in my life. All of my family and friends were there to see me become the wife of the man that makes me the happiest I have ever been. THAT is a very important day to me, and I chose to celebrate that as a huge party. Mine and my DH''s choice.

The ''Bigger Picture''... Yssie is assuming that any bride who has a lavish wedding has lost sight of ''this''. (Which I would still like to know what Yssie deems is the ''Bigger Picture'' in wedding planning.) I do not understand how you can make such a blanket statement about people you don''t even know. That is judgemental.

I found the comment rude, because it effected me. If you didn''t find it rude, fine... I''m not looking for ''back up''. I''m just stating my opinion on how it came across, as someone that answered about my wedding be TOTALLY worth every penny we spent, earlier in the thread.

When I make a personal opinion, I use the words ''Me/Mine/Ours''. I don''t use words like ''Your''.

Trill- I have no problem with any of her post up until this last sentance. That is all I am talking about. You also mentioned in your post, that is ''IS only one day''. I will say again, that is your opinion on your own wedding. Please try not pass those feelings onto all women, as you do not know what every Bride''s priorities are.

Well, excepting the few people who have multi-day celebrations, it is one day. That is not an opinion, or a feeling, nor anything to do with priorities. If you are counting rehearsals and brunches, etc, then I would argue that we are talking semantics. I''m glad you enjoyed your day, as I hope to enjoy my own.

This is where the problem is lying, Trill is concentrating on the "it''s one day" part and meresal is concentrating on the "You" statements.

I think we all know it''s ONE DAY (of course excluding those with multi-day celebrations). But the only person who can make a value judgment on something is the person who made the decisions and spent the money. Someone else making those statements and that value judgment comes off as less than couth. I''m chalking it up to Yssie not having gone through the experience herself yet, and figuring that she is not trying to make a generalized statement about all brides.

 

[lilyfoot]

 

[monarch64]

Date: 2/18/2010 5:35:24 AM
Author: yssie
I''m scared of this! That''s why we''re being incredibly careful and frugal with everything.




The people are important to me; chair covers, even if I''d rather have them, are not. We''re lucky in that we have family that can do a lot of the odds and ends (and some of the bigger stuff like photography!) so it brings the cost down a lot. I just don''t get the whole wedding mania.. it''s one day, and frankly, not even the most important day of your life, though I guess it''s easy to forget that bigger picture when you''re inundated with all the little details..

Yssie: TOO SOON.

You are in the Newlyweds section, dear.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Here's the thing, I read Yssie's post as an inclusive "you/you're" which is why it doesn't really strike me as rude. She's including herself in the statement.

Meresal, it sounds like you are taking it as an accusatory "you/you're" that doesn't include herself in the statement. If she meant it that way than that certainly could be rude. I sincerely doubt that's how she meant it. Again, yssie can clarify if she wants.

I think we all agree that whether you have chosen to do any type of celebration, big or small (200 people in a huge ballroom with amazing food and a band and awesome chair covers

or just 2 people on a beach or your backyard, or other favorite personal spot), that a wedding day is special.

It is a WEDDING, a celebration, a joining of two people, and often two families and cultures. YAY! If you don't think it's special then you'll probably have a humdrum wedding and get on with your life (and are most likely far, far away from this thread, and probably not on pricescope

)

Let's get back to the discussion of the thread and stop trying to feel like people are making value judgements on either side.

Did YOU (just yourself) think the money that was spent on your (just your) wedding was worth it?

 

[meresal]

Date: 2/19/2010 3:21:33 PM
Author: Bella_mezzo
Here's the thing, I read Yssie's post as an inclusive 'you/you're' which is why it doesn't really strike me as rude. She's including herself in the statement.

Meresal, it sounds like you are taking it as an accusatory 'you/you're' that doesn't include herself in the statement. If she meant it that way than that certainly could be rude. I sincerely doubt that's how she meant it. Again, yssie can clarify if she wants.

I think we all agree that if you have chosen to do any type of celebration, big or small (200 people in a huge ballroom with amazing food and a band and awesome chair covers

or just 2 people on a beach or your backyard, or other favorite personal spot), that a wedding day is special.

It is a WEDDING, a celebration, a joining of two people, and often two families and cultures. YAY! If you don't think it's special then you have a humdrum wedding and get on with your life (and are probably far, far away from this thread, and probably from pricescope

)

Let's get back to the discussion of the thread and stop trying to feel like people are making value judgements on either side.

Did YOU (just yourself) think the money that was spent on your (just your) wedding was worth it?

I definitely agree with you that she is including herself... however, it is the fact that she is including anyone BUT herself, is what initially irritated me. I am over it.

I think that EVERY single penny that was spent on our wedding was worth it... and then some! We had such an incredible time, that I moved directly into the Preggo thread afterwards. LOL!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

LOL Meresal and I just want to add that your wedding photos were gorgeous

and your little one is sooooo cute!

 

[meresal]

Date: 2/19/2010 3:33:06 PM
Author: Bella_mezzo
LOL Meresal and I just want to add that your wedding photos were gorgeous

and your little one is sooooo cute!

Thank you lady!

 

[panda08]

Date: 2/19/2010 3:31:11 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 2/19/2010 3:21:33 PM
Author: Bella_mezzo
Here''s the thing, I read Yssie''s post as an inclusive ''you/you''re'' which is why it doesn''t really strike me as rude. She''s including herself in the statement.

Meresal, it sounds like you are taking it as an accusatory ''you/you''re'' that doesn''t include herself in the statement. If she meant it that way than that certainly could be rude. I sincerely doubt that''s how she meant it. Again, yssie can clarify if she wants.

I think we all agree that if you have chosen to do any type of celebration, big or small (200 people in a huge ballroom with amazing food and a band and awesome chair covers

or just 2 people on a beach or your backyard, or other favorite personal spot), that a wedding day is special.

It is a WEDDING, a celebration, a joining of two people, and often two families and cultures. YAY! If you don''t think it''s special then you have a humdrum wedding and get on with your life (and are probably far, far away from this thread, and probably from pricescope

)

Let''s get back to the discussion of the thread and stop trying to feel like people are making value judgements on either side.

Did YOU (just yourself) think the money that was spent on your (just your) wedding was worth it?

I definitely agree with you that she is including herself... however, it is the fact that she is including anyone BUT herself, is what initially irritated me. I am over it.

I think that EVERY single penny that was spent on our wedding was worth it... and then some! We had such an incredible time, that I moved directly into the Preggo thread afterwards. LOL!

Okay... clearly your wedding day was worth it, you''ve made that point repeatedly. It''s great that you feel that way. I just don''t see the need to hammer Yssie so hard for expressing her opinion. She didn''t direct her comment at you or attack your choices. She doesn''t think one''s wedding day is the most important day of a person''s life. There may be a judgment in that comment but so what? Many opinions carry an implicit judgment and reveal one''s values. Maybe I agonized over which ribbon to use to tie my favor boxes. You may think that''s a waste of time. Maybe you sprung for a 10 piece band, I may think that money could be better spent elsewhere. People judge people all the time. I don''t see the need to take such strong offense.

 

[meresal]

Date: 2/19/2010 4:36:43 PM
Author: panda08

Date: 2/19/2010 3:31:11 PM
Author: meresal

I definitely agree with you that she is including herself... however, it is the fact that she is including anyone BUT herself, is what initially irritated me. I am over it.

I think that EVERY single penny that was spent on our wedding was worth it... and then some! We had such an incredible time, that I moved directly into the Preggo thread afterwards. LOL!

Okay... clearly your wedding day was worth it, you've made that point repeatedly. It's great that you feel that way. I just don't see the need to hammer Yssie so hard for expressing her opinion. She didn't direct her comment at you or attack your choices. She doesn't think one's wedding day is the most important day of a person's life. There may be a judgment in that comment but so what? Many opinions carry an implicit judgment and reveal one's values. Maybe I agonized over which ribbon to use to tie my favor boxes. You may think that's a waste of time. Maybe you sprung for a 10 piece band, I may think that money could be better spent elsewhere. People judge people all the time. I don't see the need to take such strong offense.

It was worth it. And that comment was in response to being asked specifically by Bella. (Check out her post before responding to mine. It was preceeded by a wink if you can't find it.)

Well, I did take offense... and we are past it. Moving on, again.

 

[panda08]

Date: 2/19/2010 4:44:41 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 2/19/2010 4:36:43 PM
Author: panda08

Date: 2/19/2010 3:31:11 PM
Author: meresal

I definitely agree with you that she is including herself... however, it is the fact that she is including anyone BUT herself, is what initially irritated me. I am over it.

I think that EVERY single penny that was spent on our wedding was worth it... and then some! We had such an incredible time, that I moved directly into the Preggo thread afterwards. LOL!

Okay... clearly your wedding day was worth it, you''ve made that point repeatedly. It''s great that you feel that way. I just don''t see the need to hammer Yssie so hard for expressing her opinion. She didn''t direct her comment at you or attack your choices. She doesn''t think one''s wedding day is the most important day of a person''s life. There may be a judgment in that comment but so what? Many opinions carry an implicit judgment and reveal one''s values. Maybe I agonized over which ribbon to use to tie my favor boxes. You may think that''s a waste of time. Maybe you sprung for a 10 piece band, I may think that money could be better spent elsewhere. People judge people all the time. I don''t see the need to take such strong offense.

It was worth it. And that comment was in response to being asked specifically by Bella. (Check out her post before responding to mine. It was preceeded by a wink if you can''t find it.)

Well, I did take offense... and we are past it. Moving on, again.

Uh, I wasn''t looking to pick a fight. If your re-read Bella''s post, she wasn''t refering to "you" as in Meresal but "you" as in people who may potentially respond to this thread. You had posted numerous times in this thread before Bella''s last post and it was already clear that you thought your wedding was worth it. But then again, it seems like you think everyone''s use of "your" or "you" directed at you specifically.

 

[meresal]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:02:17 PM
Author: panda08
Uh, I wasn't looking to pick a fight. If your re-read Bella's post, she wasn't refering to 'you' as in Meresal but 'you' as in people who may potentially respond to this thread. You had posted numerous times in this thread before Bella's last post and it was already clear that you thought your wedding was worth it. But then again, it seems like you think everyone's use of 'your' or 'you' directed at you specifically.

Really, you weren't? It was obvious that everyone, including me, was past the enitre thing, and you posted about it again.

I actually did think that Bella was posting to me (hence the wink). My reply was lighthearted and she responded to my post, so I don't see the issue. If I was mistaken, then it certainly didn't bother anyone else but you.

Out.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:02:17 PM
Author: panda08
Uh, I wasn''t looking to pick a fight. If your re-read Bella''s post, she wasn''t refering to ''you'' as in Meresal but ''you'' as in people who may potentially respond to this thread. You had posted numerous times in this thread before Bella''s last post and it was already clear that you thought your wedding was worth it. But then again, it seems like you think everyone''s use of ''your'' or ''you'' directed at you specifically.

Looks that way to me too.

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:02:17 PM
Author: panda08

Date: 2/19/2010 4:44:41 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 2/19/2010 4:36:43 PM
Author: panda08

Date: 2/19/2010 3:31:11 PM
Author: meresal

I definitely agree with you that she is including herself... however, it is the fact that she is including anyone BUT herself, is what initially irritated me. I am over it.

I think that EVERY single penny that was spent on our wedding was worth it... and then some! We had such an incredible time, that I moved directly into the Preggo thread afterwards. LOL!

Okay... clearly your wedding day was worth it, you''ve made that point repeatedly. It''s great that you feel that way. I just don''t see the need to hammer Yssie so hard for expressing her opinion. She didn''t direct her comment at you or attack your choices. She doesn''t think one''s wedding day is the most important day of a person''s life. There may be a judgment in that comment but so what? Many opinions carry an implicit judgment and reveal one''s values. Maybe I agonized over which ribbon to use to tie my favor boxes. You may think that''s a waste of time. Maybe you sprung for a 10 piece band, I may think that money could be better spent elsewhere. People judge people all the time. I don''t see the need to take such strong offense.

It was worth it. And that comment was in response to being asked specifically by Bella. (Check out her post before responding to mine. It was preceeded by a wink if you can''t find it.)

Well, I did take offense... and we are past it. Moving on, again.

Uh, I wasn''t looking to pick a fight. If your re-read Bella''s post, she wasn''t refering to ''you'' as in Meresal but ''you'' as in people who may potentially respond to this thread. You had posted numerous times in this thread before Bella''s last post and it was already clear that you thought your wedding was worth it. But then again, it seems like you think everyone''s use of ''your'' or ''you'' directed at you specifically.

Harsh. Mere had stated she was over her initial annoyance, and the thread had gone back to being happy and helpful. There was no need for this.

I don''t know if you have anything against Mere, but if you do it''s very simple to just ignore her posts.

 

[panda08]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:08:15 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 2/19/2010 5:02:17 PM
Author: panda08
Uh, I wasn''t looking to pick a fight. If your re-read Bella''s post, she wasn''t refering to ''you'' as in Meresal but ''you'' as in people who may potentially respond to this thread. You had posted numerous times in this thread before Bella''s last post and it was already clear that you thought your wedding was worth it. But then again, it seems like you think everyone''s use of ''your'' or ''you'' directed at you specifically.

Really, you weren''t? It was obvious that everyone, including me, was past the enitre thing, and you posted about it again.

I actually did think that Bella was posting to me (hence the wink). My reply was lighthearted and she responded to my post, so I don''t see the issue. If I was mistaken, then it certainly didn''t bother anyone else but you.

Out.

No, I wasn''t. You REPEATEDLY defended your comments about taking offense to Yssie''s post and I commented on it, ONCE. Just because you announce you''re over it doesn''t preclude me from commenting. You''re entitled to express your opinion, I''m entitled to express mine. If you''re really over it, there''s no need for you to revisit this thread and unless it''s closed, others are free, incluing me, to post on it.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:25:36 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 2/19/2010 5:02:17 PM
Author: panda08
Uh, I wasn''t looking to pick a fight. If your re-read Bella''s post, she wasn''t refering to ''you'' as in Meresal but ''you'' as in people who may potentially respond to this thread. You had posted numerous times in this thread before Bella''s last post and it was already clear that you thought your wedding was worth it. But then again, it seems like you think everyone''s use of ''your'' or ''you'' directed at you specifically.

Looks that way to me too.

Ditto.

It almost seems like you''re offended that Mere enjoyed her wedding

.

And I do find it odd to comment on whether a wedding was worth it or not or whether you think a wedding is "just one day" if you haven''t actually had your wedding yet.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:32:04 PM
Author: panda08
No, I wasn't. You REPEATEDLY defended your comments about taking offense to Yssie's post and I commented on it, ONCE. Just because you announce you're over it doesn't preclude me from commenting. You're entitled to express your opinion, I'm entitled to express mine. If you're really over it, there's no need for you to revisit this thread and unless it's closed, others are free, incluing me, to post on it.

Then why would you comment on it? If the subject already appears to be closed, end of story, why would you bring it up again if you didn't want to start something?

And should Mere choose to post something again in this thread, that is entirely her prerogative, and express her opinion as many times as she wants to. Because she is also free to post on it.

ETA: Your comments are specifically directed at meresal and aren't exactly non-aggressive. Perhaps you should read your post again?

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:38:17 PM
Author: fiery
And I do find it odd to comment on whether a wedding was worth it or not or whether you think a wedding is ''just one day'' if you haven''t actually had your wedding yet.

You know, this is something I''ve been wondering the whole time fiery. I don''t get it.

 

[panda08]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:30:13 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 2/19/2010 5:02:17 PM
Author: panda08

Date: 2/19/2010 4:44:41 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 2/19/2010 4:36:43 PM
Author: panda08

Date: 2/19/2010 3:31:11 PM
Author: meresal

I definitely agree with you that she is including herself... however, it is the fact that she is including anyone BUT herself, is what initially irritated me. I am over it.

I think that EVERY single penny that was spent on our wedding was worth it... and then some! We had such an incredible time, that I moved directly into the Preggo thread afterwards. LOL!

Okay... clearly your wedding day was worth it, you''ve made that point repeatedly. It''s great that you feel that way. I just don''t see the need to hammer Yssie so hard for expressing her opinion. She didn''t direct her comment at you or attack your choices. She doesn''t think one''s wedding day is the most important day of a person''s life. There may be a judgment in that comment but so what? Many opinions carry an implicit judgment and reveal one''s values. Maybe I agonized over which ribbon to use to tie my favor boxes. You may think that''s a waste of time. Maybe you sprung for a 10 piece band, I may think that money could be better spent elsewhere. People judge people all the time. I don''t see the need to take such strong offense.

It was worth it. And that comment was in response to being asked specifically by Bella. (Check out her post before responding to mine. It was preceeded by a wink if you can''t find it.)

Well, I did take offense... and we are past it. Moving on, again.

Uh, I wasn''t looking to pick a fight. If your re-read Bella''s post, she wasn''t refering to ''you'' as in Meresal but ''you'' as in people who may potentially respond to this thread. You had posted numerous times in this thread before Bella''s last post and it was already clear that you thought your wedding was worth it. But then again, it seems like you think everyone''s use of ''your'' or ''you'' directed at you specifically.

Harsh. Mere had stated she was over her initial annoyance, and the thread had gone back to being happy and helpful. There was no need for this.

I don''t know if you have anything against Mere, but if you do it''s very simple to just ignore her posts.

I don''t have anything against her but am just taken aback by her need to rail against Yssie''s opinion and felt the need to comment. I like the overall collegial atmosphere of PS and all of my previous posts have been in that spirit. She stated she took offense. I stated that I thought it was unnecessary. Her response made it sound like I hadn''t read what was previously posted and/or that I did not have the right to comment. I admit that my last sentence was unnecessarily snarky. We may not agree with each other''s opinions but I don''t see the need to jump down anyone''s throat.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:50:38 PM
Author: panda08
I don''t have anything against her but am just taken aback by her need to rail against Yssie''s opinion and felt the need to comment. I like the overall collegial atmosphere of PS and all of my previous posts have been in that spirit. She stated she took offense. I stated that I thought it was unnecessary. Her response made it sound like I hadn''t read what was previously posted and/or that I did not have the right to comment. I admit that my last sentence was unnecessarily snarky. We may not agree with each other''s opinions but I don''t see the need to jump down anyone''s throat.

You realize that you just did what you''re admonishing her for though right?

 

[panda08]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:52:13 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 2/19/2010 5:50:38 PM
Author: panda08
I don''t have anything against her but am just taken aback by her need to rail against Yssie''s opinion and felt the need to comment. I like the overall collegial atmosphere of PS and all of my previous posts have been in that spirit. She stated she took offense. I stated that I thought it was unnecessary. Her response made it sound like I hadn''t read what was previously posted and/or that I did not have the right to comment. I admit that my last sentence was unnecessarily snarky. We may not agree with each other''s opinions but I don''t see the need to jump down anyone''s throat.

You realize that you just did what you''re admonishing her for though right?

Yes, just like how she admonished Yssie''s.

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:53:42 PM
Author: panda08

Date: 2/19/2010 5:52:13 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 2/19/2010 5:50:38 PM
Author: panda08
I don't have anything against her but am just taken aback by her need to rail against Yssie's opinion and felt the need to comment. I like the overall collegial atmosphere of PS and all of my previous posts have been in that spirit. She stated she took offense. I stated that I thought it was unnecessary. Her response made it sound like I hadn't read what was previously posted and/or that I did not have the right to comment. I admit that my last sentence was unnecessarily snarky. We may not agree with each other's opinions but I don't see the need to jump down anyone's throat.

You realize that you just did what you're admonishing her for though right?

Yes, just like how she admonished Yssie's.

So it's not okay to do, unless you're doing it to somebody (mere) that did it to somebody else (yssie) because they (mere) deserve it?

 

[panda08]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:38:17 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 2/19/2010 5:25:36 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 2/19/2010 5:02:17 PM
Author: panda08
Uh, I wasn''t looking to pick a fight. If your re-read Bella''s post, she wasn''t refering to ''you'' as in Meresal but ''you'' as in people who may potentially respond to this thread. You had posted numerous times in this thread before Bella''s last post and it was already clear that you thought your wedding was worth it. But then again, it seems like you think everyone''s use of ''your'' or ''you'' directed at you specifically.

Looks that way to me too.

Ditto.

It almost seems like you''re offended that Mere enjoyed her wedding

.

And I do find it odd to comment on whether a wedding was worth it or not or whether you think a wedding is ''just one day'' if you haven''t actually had your wedding yet.

No, much to the contrary. I wasn''t being snarky when I said it''s great that she enjoyed her wedding. Like Yssie, I don''t get the wedding bit but I certainly don''t begrudge those who, like Meresal, think it''s her best day ever. That was the SOLE point I was trying to make.

NakedFinger, I''m very sorry for taking up your thread with this distraction.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:59:48 PM
Author: panda08

No, much to the contrary. I wasn''t being snarky when I said it''s great that she enjoyed her wedding. Like Yssie, I don''t get the wedding bit but I certainly don''t begrudge those who, like Meresal, think it''s her best day ever. That was the SOLE point I was trying to make.

NakedFinger, I''m very sorry for taking up your thread with this distraction.

I get what you are trying to say now that you have explained it. It didn''t come across that way in your original post.

 

[panda08]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:55:33 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 2/19/2010 5:53:42 PM
Author: panda08

Date: 2/19/2010 5:52:13 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 2/19/2010 5:50:38 PM
Author: panda08
I don''t have anything against her but am just taken aback by her need to rail against Yssie''s opinion and felt the need to comment. I like the overall collegial atmosphere of PS and all of my previous posts have been in that spirit. She stated she took offense. I stated that I thought it was unnecessary. Her response made it sound like I hadn''t read what was previously posted and/or that I did not have the right to comment. I admit that my last sentence was unnecessarily snarky. We may not agree with each other''s opinions but I don''t see the need to jump down anyone''s throat.

You realize that you just did what you''re admonishing her for though right?

Yes, just like how she admonished Yssie''s.

So it''s not okay to do, unless you''re doing it to somebody (mere) that did it to somebody else (yssie) because they (mere) deserve it?

Goodness, I''m wasn''t trying to attack her. I made a single comment to her numerous comments. This thread was all fine and good until the "I take offense" gets posted, which is how I''ve seen many other threads go downhill.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/19/2010 5:50:38 PM
Author: panda08

I don''t have anything against her but am just taken aback by her need to rail against Yssie''s opinion and felt the need to comment. I like the overall collegial atmosphere of PS and all of my previous posts have been in that spirit. She stated she took offense. I stated that I thought it was unnecessary. Her response made it sound like I hadn''t read what was previously posted and/or that I did not have the right to comment. I admit that my last sentence was unnecessarily snarky. We may not agree with each other''s opinions but I don''t see the need to jump down anyone''s throat.

that''s problem with some members if you don''t agree with their opinion,but as for me...i don''t give a rat if you agree with me or not, "NO HARD FEELINGS"