Looking back on your timeline.

[iwannaprettyone]

I sometimes lurk over in LIW as I get tickled at the angst and frustration that is mixed with joy and celebration. This got me to thinking about deadlines and timelines and such, perhaps looking at my own timeline and evaluating how things are going.

In my original timeline my "Deadline" for engagement was 2003 at the ripe old age of 21 ha!, married at 23 and children at 25.

Well in real life I was engaged at 25, married at 26 and still no plans for kiddos in sight.

So, how are you doing on your "lifes plan"? Obviously mine has fallen by the wayside- and delightfully so!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

My life plan was established around the age of 25 and I''ve stuck to it luckily...

I wanted kids by 32, married by 30, engaged by 28. I was...engaged at 27, married at 29 and still hoping for kids at 32.

 

[cammy85]

I never really had a timeline of when things had to happen. I knew after dating my BF for a while I was ready to be engaged, but it was just because I wanted to take the next step, not because I pictured myself getting married at a particular age. However, we do have our "5 year plan" for kids. But I figure it''s either going to be 1) Wait 5 years, decide we want a little more time before we try or 2) Make it to three years and decide we want kids now. So much for planning.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I remember when D and I were 20 or 21, we put a "long-term" timeline in place. I wanted to be married by 26/27, buy a house and have our first kid around the 30-year mark. Strangely enough we''ve sort of stuck to it--I was married at 26, we''re house-hunting now (I''m 2 and the plan is for me to go off of BC next year on my 29th b-day. We''ll probably go for baby #2 when I''m 31 or 32 and be done.

I also planned to figure out what the heck I wanted to do with my life and go back and get my master''s by the time I was 30--that one definitely slipped through the cracks.

 

[decodelighted]

I think I wanted to be married by 35 ... but hadn't come up with any decent prospects living in NYC ... so I picked up & moved to "the country". Bought a house. Got a dog. Moved on with life. That's when I met my fella ... engaged at 38, married at 39, no plans for kids. We'll be getting another puppy around 45 though ... shhhh, don't tell DH!

possibly funny sidenote -- when I adopted my puppy girl at 36-ish I was kind of obsessed with getting *another* puppy. Still stalking breeders websites & rescue sites etc. In order to get a grip I made a deal with myself that if I wasn't married by 40 I'd get another puppy - NOT UNTIL THEN. It wasn't really if I wasn't married I guess. I probably wanted a puppy @ 40 even if I WAS married. But DH wasn't into the idea of a new puppy in our small house with our family of four cats & a dog at the time ... So on that birthday my DH took my baby girl to get groomed so at least she'd "look brand new".

 

[Lilac]

I met and started dating DH when I was 16 (and he was 17) and we knew pretty much right away we wanted to get married, but we thought we wanted to wait until after I finished college and I would be around 22 or 23. I said over and over and over again for the first year that I would not get married until I graduated and I wouldn''t be changing my mind. Well the longer we dated the more we wanted to just be married already! And of course I changed my mind...

We got engaged when I was 19 (I know - really, really young to most people), married when I was 20, but we still don''t want kids for many years. I absolutely LOVE babies, I''m just not ready to have one of my own yet and neither is DH! Our timeline for engagement/marriage changed a lot, but I think for having kids it''s still the same as it always was - I want to finish grad school and make sure DH and I are ready before we decide to have kids.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 7/20/2009 2:37:05 PM
Author: decodelighted
I think I wanted to be married by 35 ... but hadn''t come up with any decent prospects living in NYC ... so I picked up & moved to ''the country''. Bought a house. Got a dog. Moved on with life. That''s when I met my fella ... engaged at 38, married at 39, no plans for kids. We''ll be getting another puppy around 45 though ... shhhh, don''t tell DH!

possibly funny sidenote -- when I adopted my puppy girl at 36-ish I was kind of obsessed with getting *another* puppy. Still stalking breeders websites & rescue sites etc. In order to get a grip I made a deal with myself that if I wasn''t married by 40 I''d get another puppy - NOT UNTIL THEN. It wasn''t really if I wasn''t married I guess. I probably wanted a puppy @ 40 even if I WAS married. But DH wasn''t into the idea of a new puppy in our small house with our family of four cats & a dog at the time ... So on that birthday my DH took my baby girl to get groomed so at least she''d ''look brand new''.

That is tooi sweet (and hilarious at the same time).

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 7/20/2009 2:38:39 PM
Author: Lilac
I met and started dating DH when I was 16 (and he was 17) and we knew pretty much right away we wanted to get married, but we thought we wanted to wait until after I finished college and I would be around 22 or 23. I said over and over and over again for the first year that I would not get married until I graduated and I wouldn''t be changing my mind. Well the longer we dated the more we wanted to just be married already! And of course I changed my mind...

We got engaged when I was 19 (I know - really, really young to most people), married when I was 20, but we still don''t want kids for many years. I absolutely LOVE babies, I''m just not ready to have one of my own yet and neither is DH! Our timeline for engagement/marriage changed a lot, but I think for having kids it''s still the same as it always was - I want to finish grad school and make sure DH and I are ready before we decide to have kids.

Sounds like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders!

 

[princessplease]

I''m not married yet, but my original timeline was married at 25, first child at 27, 2nd at 29 and 3rd at 31.

I will be 25 when I''m married, but I don''t know if the kids timeline will stick since I''m going to be going to school for my PsyD after my Master''s.

 

[CNOS128]

I always wanted to be married by 35, and I made it with several years to spare! I also used to think I would want to have children very soon after marriage, but so far I’m just not feeling that drive.

 

[FrekeChild]

In high school everyone thought I''d be married by 25. My mom didn''t want me to get married until I was 30.

In reality I''m getting married at 27.75.

And no plans for kids.

 

[geckodani]

Huh. I got married about when I expected to (2 days before my 24th Birthday).

I''d still like to try to start having kids at 30, but we''ll see.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I always thought I would marry my high school sweetheart at around 25ish (even though we broke up and I got engaged to someone else in my early 20s), but when he expressed that he just wasn''t ready for marriage when I was ~24 and he was 25, we ended things. So, I started traveling, got a new job, moved to London, moved to Dallas, all on my own. I was 25, and I decided 30 seemed like it might be a decent age to get married, kids at 32, barring the fact that I hadn''t met anyone yet.

I met DH when I was 26, we got engaged and married when I was 30, and I''m about to turn 34 this year, so I screwed up the kids life plan.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I am still on track, but I am afraid it won''t last. My vision was married in early to mid 20s and kids before 30, but my career aspirations and family aspirations are going to battle to the death I fear within the next 10 years. I am going to law school starting in August and want to try to have kids about 2 years after I graduate. So that''d be 5 years from now putting me at 27 and DH at 28. My fear is that I won''t be in a financial position yet 5 years from now to have kids..I''d like to have a house, etc...and with those law loans - eeeeeeep!!! See my trouble? I also wanted to be able to work part-time/stay home with young kids..how''s that going to work paying those loan payments?

Ultimately I think career might win..luckily I am not trying for a partner track firm job so that helps some with the family part.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I wanted to be married by 25, first child by 30 and second by 33. I wanted to own a house and have a pet cat by the age of 25.

I am 5 years overdue for my wedding as I will be well into my 30th year of life when I walk the aisle this October.

I was 2 years overdue for my house purchase - buying our home at the age of 27 years.

I am in no rush whatsoever regarding children. In fact, FI and I have agreed not to discuss children until a minimum of 3 years have passed and I am due for a re-vamp on my chosen method of BC. I laugh at the thought of having TWO children by the age of 33 - I''d have to have twins.

I did adopt my first kitty 2 years early at the age of 23. 5 years later we added another kitty to the family. 1 year later we added a dog to our family. So, I surpassed my pet ownership timeline at least!

 

[musey]

Date: 7/20/2009 2:21:34 PM
Author:iwannaprettyone
In my original timeline my 'Deadline' for engagement was 2003 at the ripe old age of 21 ha!, married at 23 and children at 25.

Nothin' wrong with that

I don't know if I ever had a "plan" or "timeline" really, but I always kinda pictured myself single until around 30, a whirlwind romance, quick nuptials and kids soon following.

Real life: met my husband at 19, dated for nearly five years before marrying (I was just shy of 24), no immediate plans for kids but the thought is definitely lingering on the horizon - for both of us.


Reality has been panning out a lot differently than I pictured, but I guess I wouldn't think to argue!

 

[Octavia]

I always assumed I''d meet my future husband when I was in my late twenties, and we''d get married when I was 31 or 32. Never really thought much about kids at all. As it happened, I met my FI when I was 23, I''ll be married (in less than three months, can''t wait!) when I''m 27, and we''ll probably try for kids when I''m about 29-30. But the revised timeline definitely works...I wouldn''t have it any other way.

 

[Haven]

I don't know if I ever really had a timeline in mind.

I do remember thinking that 28 was a great age for marriage. I was 27 when we married.
And I never thought I'd marry a man with ten years on me. But I did, and I couldn't be happier about it.

I never thought about when I wanted to buy a house, and I've always been fickle about when I wanted to have kids. Looks like I'll be in my thirties when that happens.

Whenever I used to daydream about being "all grown up" I just saw myself laughing one of those head-thrown-back guffaws, surrounded by my nearest and dearest in a cozy home. It was never about a career or a spouse or a home or anything like that. It was always just a feeling.
Maybe that's why I entertain so much.

 

[QueenB29]

The only timeline I remember having was that I wanted to be married by 30, and that I didn''t want to be the last of my friends to get married. In reality, I got married at 26, and was like the second of my friends. Now I''m 27 and would like to have my first child by 30, and start trying in a year or so. Unfortunately, I''m dealing with some health issues that have to be figured out first, so I don''t know if I''ll make that one.

Timelines don''t matter. I''m a firm believer that things happen the way they''re supposed to.

 

[zoebartlett]

I''m not sure I really had a timeline. I always had the outlook that if it happened (getting married and having a family) it would be great but if it didn''t I''d be okay. We just celebrated our one year anniversary and I''m very conscious of the time we "have left" to start a family. I''ll be 36 in the fall and my husband turned 37 in April. I feel kind of hurried, to be honest.

I have a friend who wanted to be a 25 year old bride and have kids by the time she was 30. Both of those dreams came true for her, so she stuck to her timeline.

 

[anchor31]

I always wanted to marry before 25, all the while knowing that sometimes life doesn''t turn out the way you plan it. It did on the point though, since I married at 23. As for kids, I always used to say I wasn''t in a hurry to have them before 28-30... But now we''re expecting our first one in December, and I''ll be 24. Yup, it was planned. Funny how things change!

 

[vintagecushion]

Date: 7/21/2009 2:35:22 AM
Author: Haven

Whenever I used to daydream about being 'all grown up' I just saw myself laughing one of those head-thrown-back guffaws, surrounded by my nearest and dearest in a cozy home. It was never about a career or a spouse or a home or anything like that. It was always just a feeling.

Maybe that's why I entertain so much.

I love this. No timeline here either and definitely something along the lines of the above, with pets! Sadly I'm still waiting on the pets

.

 

[Rock_of_Love]

I wanted to be married by 30 and kids by 35...figured I wanted a good 5 years with the hubby to "travel...etc."

Well, not exactly on that timeline...will be almost 38 when we get married, so pretty much hoping I conceive (and am able to) very soon after.

 

[musincy]

I remember thinking in high school that I would meet my husband in college or mid-20''s, get married around 26-27 and start having kids within a year or two after that.

Little did I know, I''d already met my husband at the age of 14! We started dating at 18, got engaged at 23 and married at 24. Kids... well, no plans yet. Maybe 29ish??

Oh how things change

I wouldn''t want it any other way though.

 

[Laila619]

Well I always wanted to be married young (23-24ish) so that I could have all my kids by the time I turned 30. In reality though, I didn't even meet my husband until I was 25 and a half. Got married at 27. Now we're trying for a baby. I hope maybe I can still have my kids before I turn 31.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I wanted to get married at like 27 and have my kids at like 30, 32 or so... but I got married at 21 and had them at 24, 29, 31. Now we''ve been married 18 years. It is a different path than I originally thought I''d take, but there are definitely no regrets.

 

[newsboysgrl777]

I honestly never had a timeline that I can recall. For some reason, I think most of my 20s flew by way too fast and I don't know where they went!! I can remember just turning 21 and had been dating my now DH for something like 4 months at that time and here I am 28 and JUST married!! LOL I can say if I ever really thought about it, I don't think I would've expected to get married this 'old' (just saying 28 is old compared to what age I would've expected to be married at), however, when I was in my mid-20s, I never really felt that old, nor did I feel the inclination to get married. I wasn't ready until I was just suddenly ready, you know?? (Which was probably about 6 mo to a yr before DH proposed)

To be totally honest, I think I have some kind of mental issue because I don't feel as old as I am. I feel like there's no way I could possibly be 28!! It's like I'm still only 22 or 23 in my head. Maybe I'm just less mature or something in that I'm not READY yet to be a grown-up. Does that make ANY sense? (Seriously, I feel like sometimes I post on here and I can't articulate very well...LOL)

 

[julabean]

Back in the first few years of college, I thought I wouldn''t get married until 26 or 27. Then at 21 I fell head over heels for my best friend and we got married at 22 1/2! I''ll be 24 in less than a month, so that timeline definitely changed! Once we got married, we pretty much decided on five year plan. My husband is 11 years older than I am, so we''d like to have kids before he is 40. I''d be 27 or 28. I love babies and all of DH''s friends are having kids, as well as a few members of my family who I am really close to, so people don''t normally believe me when I say we''re waiting. I always have to tell them that there is a big difference between being around THEIR kids and wanting one of my own!

 

[Miscka]

I always wanted to be married at 25, and have kids at 30.

I got married at 24, but I have no idea when we will have kids. I am not sure we will wait until I am 30, but who knows.

 

[elrohwen]

I''m not married yet, but so far I''ve followed my timeline exactly (even though it was never more than a fuzzy timeline to begin with!).

Meet future husband in college (we started dating the last few months of senior year, despite being friends long before)
Get engaged at age 24 (did that)
Get married at age 25 (doing that soon)
Have kids as late as possible

The only thing I''m missing out on is having a house ... I assumed I would own a house soon after getting married, but with housing prices where we are, it won''t happen for at least a few more years

And because the house has to wait, the dog has to wait too!

I had always wanted a dog as soon as I graduated and got a job, but it just isn''t in the cards right now.