Bridal blues

[FrekeChild]

Do you miss not planning your wedding? Picking out linens and BM dresses? Or are you ecstatic it''s over and done with and you never have to decide between ivories and whites again?

I''m curious.

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 7/21/2009 2:30:55 AM
Author:FrekeChild
Do you miss not planning your wedding? Picking out linens and BM dresses? Or are you ecstatic it's over and done with and you never have to decide between ivories and whites again?

I'm curious.

Wait a minute, Freke...your wedding isn't over yet, is it?? I admit I'm more of a lurker than an active poster on most things, but I do follow some stuff...and I thought your wedding hasn't happened yet?!! Or, are you just PREPARING yourself for when it's all over??

But, to answer your questions....

Tonight was the first time I felt very sad that I didn't have anything left to plan. Before it had just been RELIEF that it was over, but now I wish I could do things differently. I feel sad that SO MANY things didn't go according to plan. Even the day OF the wedding I was sad about things..and felt disappointment. I was SO hoping I wouldn't feel that way. :'(

I sort of feel like only NOW (after having gone through a wedding already) am I truly prepared to know what an actual wedding is like and what I would want for my own. Maybe I only feel this way because I haven't gone to many weddings and I've never been IN a wedding and only one close friend has gotten married??

ETA: Plus, I'm kinda sad that I'm not 'the bride to be' or even 'the bride' anymore! It's like...for a whole year I was a princess...and now I'm not anymore. Does that make sense to anyone? I KNOW it's not REALLY like that, but in a way, the whole WEDDING thing makes it seem like that. Like, as the bride you're so "SPECIAL" and then when it's over you're like "what am I now?"

 

[FrekeChild]

Mine isn't over yet, but I feel like it is. Kind of. It's hard to explain. I think that our engagement party was kind of like the big blowout celebration (even though it wasn't huge by any means), and it stressed me out so much that the day afterward I came down with a nasty virus that lasted two weeks. I was essentially comatose for that time, totally drugged out, and hardly visited PS (that should show you how messed up I really was). Plus I was having to go to school still. So now I'm having to deal with the aftermath--writing thank you notes, wondering where we're going to put all of this STUFF, and dealing with the "it's OVER" feeling. Plus it was the only time I am going to wear white in this whole mess. So now I just get to plan the fun part (although that's stressing me out a bit too), and look towards that, and try to not stress.

So while I'm not yet a newlywed, I feel like I have some of the feelings that they would have after going through such a major event, and realizing that this event they've been obsessed with for so long is over--and the "Now what?" part has kind of hit. Because coordinating 20 people is a LOT easier than coordinating 60+!

 

[Haven]

I don''t miss it, but I never really got that into it, anyway.

It has been beyond fun being married and living together. I''ll take the excitement of our first year of marriage over wedding planning *any*day*.

 

[violet02]

I don't miss all the planning and hassle with the 'people' logistics but I miss looking at all the little fun wedding details with colors, and dresses, jewelry etc.

My friend and I actually just started our own business doing paper items for shower, weddings, parties etc.

We just made some reception only invitations, thank you cards, and we're working on table numbers, placecards and adorable birds nest favors for a bird themed wedding. I just in fact got our LLC approval from the state of CA this last week! I'm about to go in and file our fictitous business name etc.

I'm really excited about it. I think my friend and I both have a knack for doing some creative stuff (hopefully) based on our own weddings so thanks how i'm curing my wedding blues.

I subscribe to about 15+ weddding magazines stilll all tax deductible for our business!

 

[Dandi]

I enjoyed most of our wedding planning, and I loved the big day, but where we are now is what I was really looking forward to - married life. Settled and happy with money to spend on finishing our house, not paying for wedding stuff!!

 

[CNOS128]

Wedding planning was really difficult for me, in spite of my (former) belief that I''m a detail-oriented person. I found the whole experience overwhelming!

When it was over, I felt an immediate sense of relief! I didn''t have to call and vendors, or look at colors or flowers or tablecloths, or sit down with the seating chart and figure out where to put Great Uncle Mendy. Freedom!!
But about a week afterward, I felt a little bit of letdown. It was not that I wanted to be planning a wedding, but more that I''d been doing this one thing with my free time for months, and suddenly there was a void! Luckily, that feeling faded pretty quickly. I think packing to move helped a lot, oddly.

 

[cammy85]

I absolutely loved planning the wedding, and doing all of our DIY projects (save the dates, invitations and inserts, garter, 3 tier cathedral beaded veil, favors, seating cards, table numbers, etc etc) but I am a type-A personality who loves projects. I was also making a quilt for a friend''s wedding two weeks after my own and we were in the process of buying a house. So things were just insanely busy that entire time before thew edding. Once the wedding was over, there was this huge sigh of relief, all that work was exhausting. But it was also a little sad, because those 10 months of planning were all for ONE DAY. It''s hard to imagine me ever putting that much interest and investing that much time and money into one day. And I was happy to let go of the wedding stuff for a bit...But once we got the pictures, that''s when I realized it was worth it. And I loved how everything turned out and how happy everyone looked in the pictures (and how beautiful I felt!)

I think that''s what I miss. All the family and friends surrounding us for such a wonderful party, and feeling the most beautiful I have ever felt. I don''t miss a lot of the headache and planning and papercuts, but I do miss all the emotions and the feelings I experienced throughout that day. Absolutely one-of-a-kind. But I also am SO happy I am FINALLY married to my wonderful DH, and I wouldn''t trade that either.

Now I''m just dying for some friends to get married so I can live vicariously through them

and start sewing stuff for people again! Until then, we have plenty of housework to keep us busy!

 

[cammy85]

Date: 7/21/2009 2:35:34 AM
Author: newsboysgrl777

Date: 7/21/2009 2:30:55 AM
Author:FrekeChild
Do you miss not planning your wedding? Picking out linens and BM dresses? Or are you ecstatic it''s over and done with and you never have to decide between ivories and whites again?

I''m curious.

Wait a minute, Freke...your wedding isn''t over yet, is it?? I admit I''m more of a lurker than an active poster on most things, but I do follow some stuff...and I thought your wedding hasn''t happened yet?!! Or, are you just PREPARING yourself for when it''s all over??

But, to answer your questions....

Tonight was the first time I felt very sad that I didn''t have anything left to plan. Before it had just been RELIEF that it was over, but now I wish I could do things differently. I feel sad that SO MANY things didn''t go according to plan. Even the day OF the wedding I was sad about things..and felt disappointment. I was SO hoping I wouldn''t feel that way. :''(

I sort of feel like only NOW (after having gone through a wedding already) am I truly prepared to know what an actual wedding is like and what I would want for my own. Maybe I only feel this way because I haven''t gone to many weddings and I''ve never been IN a wedding and only one close friend has gotten married??

ETA: Plus, I''m kinda sad that I''m not ''the bride to be'' or even ''the bride'' anymore! It''s like...for a whole year I was a princess...and now I''m not anymore. Does that make sense to anyone? I KNOW it''s not REALLY like that, but in a way, the whole WEDDING thing makes it seem like that. Like, as the bride you''re so ''SPECIAL'' and then when it''s over you''re like ''what am I now?''

I''m kind of the same way. I was engaged for 10 months and feel like I was just starting to get used to all the attention of being engaged and being the center of attention, and then the wedding came and *poof* it was over just as fast as it started. I really wish I had enjoyed some of that time more, rather than spending a lot of it as deer-in-headlights in shock that we were finally getting married. I did enjoy it, and had fun at my shower and bachelorette party, but I was a little awkward at my shower being the center of attention. But now I realize, that''s the POINT! I would have had more fun with it and just let loose a little more.

We went from princesses to balls-and-chain overnight!

 

[QueenB29]

My family and friends were scattered all over the place, so I didn''t have many pre-wedding events where I was the center of attention. I kind of feel like I missed out on that a little, but mostly I just had a lot of extra free time after our wedding. Then...after about six months, I suddenly went into party-planning withdrawal so I planned a 30th anniversary dinner for my parents.

 

[QueenB29]

And it was good, because DH and I no longer got into any fights over the wedding (he wanted to get married at a courthouse).

 

[Lynnie]

haha, this reminds me of a conversation I had with DH last week...

I was flipping channels and started watching bridezillas. DH was like, "We''re married now. You can stop watching these wedding shows!".
Me: "Don''t you miss planning our wedding?"
Him: "No, I do not miss the printing and gluing and thousands of papers and receipts and phone calls and appointments and slaving away in the kitchen for 6 hours making 350 cookies. I especially don''t miss having to try to calm you down after you accidently died your mother''s veil dookie-brown two days before the wedding."
Me: "Wouldn''t you do it all over again, though?"
Him: "A thousand times over. But we don''t have to think about that -- we''re married, now!"

Lol... I changed the channel!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I admit that I didn''t love planning our wedding, the only thing I really cared about was the ceremony and seeing my family. I was very eager for the wedding to be behind us so that we could just enjoy being a married couple (and that part has been great). I don''t think I''ve ever been as emotional as I was when I was facing D at our ceremony and pledging to be his partner in life--I will always remember that very fondly. Also, I had a great time with my family since they stayed with us at the estate where we were married, but D and I rented a huge beach house this summer and my family is coming to stay with us again, so we do get to do that part over.

 

[Lilac]

I never really got so into the wedding planning - it was fun for me for about a month and then just stressful. And I never liked being the center of attention. Our parents were all fighting with each other and my mom wanted to plan most of it so that''s what ended up happening and I tried to stay out of it to avoid stress and avoid fights.

I LOVED my wedding and had SO much fun, but I was soooo happy when it was over. All I wanted throughout the whole process was just for us to be married, and when it was over we finally were! Being married has been *so* much more fun than planning a wedding and I wouldn''t trade it for anything!

 

[Patchee]

No, actually I am SO glad the planning and mini-stress sessions are over... however, I would love to do the reception over and over again!

 

[cakeny]

Date: 7/21/2009 11:07:25 AM
Author: Lilac

I LOVED my wedding and had SO much fun, but I was soooo happy when it was over. All I wanted throughout the whole process was just for us to be married, and when it was over we finally were! Being married has been *so* much more fun than planning a wedding and I wouldn''t trade it for anything!

I know exactly how you feel. I am honestly relieved! I don''t do well under pressure and stress. But living my "boring" married life has been the real thrill

But this:

... however, I would love to do the reception over and over again!

hell yeah!

 

[musey]

It was really fun in many ways, but in the end for me it was just a party... once it was done, it was done. I was perfectly happy with the way it turned out, everything went wonderfully from where I was sitting, so I had nothing to think "what if" about. I didn't/don't miss it.

Every now and then I like to daydream about different scenarios... what would we have picked if it had been in spring, a destination wedding, a elopement, smaller budget, bigger budget, etc. I think I could have had that wedding a hundred different ways and still have loved it just as much!

But miss planning? Nah. Bigger fish to fry these days

 

[Clairitek]

I don't know if I missed planning but I was certainly sad when it was all over.

When we got our proofs for the wedding pictures I said to DH "Well, thats it. Its alllll over. No more wedding stuff."

I suppose the good part is that we get a lifetime of "married stuff" now!

ETA: I still have a few friends left who haven't tied the knot. I think I've spent as much, if not more time, collectively researching and planning for their weddings than my own.

 

[omieluv]

Date: 7/21/2009 2:35:34 AM
Author: newsboysgrl777

ETA: Plus, I''m kinda sad that I''m not ''the bride to be'' or even ''the bride'' anymore! It''s like...for a whole year I was a princess...and now I''m not anymore. Does that make sense to anyone? I KNOW it''s not REALLY like that, but in a way, the whole WEDDING thing makes it seem like that. Like, as the bride you''re so ''SPECIAL'' and then when it''s over you''re like ''what am I now?''

Since my FI and I have become engaged, we have received so much attention from friends and family! So many of them are taking us out to dinner, wanting to spend more time with us, etc. The sudden rise in attention really feels odd and I am starting to feel spoiled by the excitement surrounding our recent engagment. Post wedding, I bet it will all subside, which I am sure will feel odd. However, he and I are going to be house hunting, so I am sure my focus will be shifting to that process.

 

[kittybean]

I loved my wedding. It was as magical and joyful as I had hoped it to be. I''d love to relive that day, just so I could soak it all in again . . . but I''m pretty happy and relieved it''s over. I really love being married to my amazing, sweet, wonderful DH, and I love our life together. By the end of wedding planning, I was just ready to be married, and now I''m very content with being just that. I am looking forward to celebrating other peoples'' weddings with them, but I''m happy my own moment in the sun is finished, and I can just sit back and enjoy the shade.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I was glad the wedding was over. I''m having honeymoon withdrawl though... I so wish I were back on the beach...

 

[cammy85]

Date: 7/21/2009 2:50:45 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I was glad the wedding was over. I''m having honeymoon withdrawl though... I so wish I were back on the beach...

Ditto. I want relaxing on a beach with a drink in hand.

Perrrrfect.

 

[anchor31]

There was so much drama while planning that I definitely didn''t miss the planning part. The day-of though, it went so quickly... I really wish we could have done it once or twice more. I was sad about that for a couple of weeks.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I think for me, I felt like "what now?"...it wasn''t saddness, but it was a certain emptiness. I loved planning my wedding.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I really liked planning my wedding too, it was very stress free and I tried to be really laid back about it. I browsed through BWW today though and realized I have NO interest in wedding stuff all of a sudden. I mean, I practically lived in BWW until today...So I''m going to step back for a bit and decompress.

 

[Elmorton]

I totally missed it - bridal blues hit me baaad and I started posting on PS to fill the void.

Several of my friends are getting married right now, and I love doing wedding-related stuff with them, but at the same time, I really don't miss the emotional baggage that wedding planning carried. I was listening to one friend sortof bicker with her fiance and at first I thought "Ugh, what a jerk!" but then I realized that these were very similar conversations that DH and I once had. While planning a wedding is fun, having a marriage is so incredibly better.

I will say that wedding planning reminded me that I'm a person who NEEDS to be creative and have projects. I think I'd forgotten that in the midst of trying to start my career (which IS creative, but not necessarily in a visual arts type way). Now I love making beaded jewelry, doing projects for the house, and DH even gave me art lessons (that I haven't taken yet) for my Bday - these things help me fill that creativity void, too.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I actually wish I''d had more time to plan the wedding. So much fell short because I was so rushed. I didn''t love my dress, my photographer, nor did I love the cake my Mom picked out.

Bah, it really doesn''t matter anymore. I love my TTD pics, and I had a phenomenal time at the wedding.

 

[musincy]

Date: 7/21/2009 4:49:48 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I really liked planning my wedding too, it was very stress free and I tried to be really laid back about it. I browsed through BWW today though and realized I have NO interest in wedding stuff all of a sudden. I mean, I practically lived in BWW until today...So I''m going to step back for a bit and decompress.

I felt that way instantly! I got on BWW the day after my wedding, and not a single topic interested me. So strange. I loved planning my wedding!

I think once I have a little break, I''m really going to miss it. I love making things and being creative, and I know I''ll be busy for a while setting up the new house, but maybe someday I''ll want to get back into wedding stuff somehow. We''ll see...

 

[Laila619]

What I miss most was being a bride-to-be, and having everyone be SO incredibly happy and excited for you during engagement! It was so fun because people would ask to see my ring, ask me how the wedding plans were coming along, where we were going on our honeymoon, etc. Now that I'm married, people are still happy for me but it's not the same.

Engagement is such a magical time, a whirlwind! Now we're a boring married couple, lol.

(not really)

The other thing is that I second guess a lot of the choices I made for our wedding, and wish I could redo it with different flowers, different colors, etc. I drive myself nuts! OY!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I agree with newsboysgrl and Laila..I feel like I miss being "the bride" and "the bride to be." I guess the attention and ooohs and ahs? I don't know. But all the stresses that came wrlith the planning? No way! Noooo way! I would relive the day itself in a second...I loved it, it was relatively stress free, and it was beautiful. But I would not relive the planning part!