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Surprise!!! What if it is not your style?

Julysnight

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2013
Messages
50
I think my SO will be proposing soon. Maybe it's just wishful thinking but I have this feeling that it is coming soon.
The problem is that it is just a feeling. He has not taken me ring shopping, has not asked me what type of rings I like, has not had the opportunity to ask any of my friends what I would like, and even if he had asked them, they don't have any idea what I would like either. I also don't wear any rings, so I doubt he even knows my size.

Last night I started thinking, what if he totally surprises me and buys a ring without my input? This is something i can see him doing. Best case scenario is that he picks something amazing or picks the safe route and gets me a classic solitaire. Worst case scenario is that he spends a lot of money on something that is not my style, something I would never pick. What would you do? What is the best way to handle this? Do I stay silent and accept it because he picked it? Do I wait a couple of days and sweetly tell him that I love that he surprised me but the ring is not my style. I don't want to upgrade later. I want the same ring I wear while engaged to be the ring I get married with.

I just want to add that no matter what he gives me the day he proposes, I know that day will be one of the happiest days of my life.I can't wait to share that moment and my life with him. Nevertheless, I want to have a ring that fits me and my personality. I'm a lil worried and I feel like I screwed up by not saying something sooner. I should have dropped hints. I'm such a romantic I thought this would work out perfectly. I thought he would eventually start asking me questions.We have such a great relationship I didn't put too much thought into the ring. Now that I have the feeling a proposal is coming soon, I'm getting anxious.
 

totallyfree

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 18, 2013
Messages
198
All sorts of ways you can bring it up (pre and post proposal) but you won't know how he'll react until the words are out - and then it'll be too late to take back :p

You could try dropping a hint like "can you propose with a cheezle so we can pick a ring together?"

Personally I don't think it's wrong to bring it up if you don't like it. But you won't know how you feel about it until you see it :)
 

marymm

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 21, 2010
Messages
5,110
OP - neither you nor your BF has done anything wrong here - but since the proposal hasn't yet occurred, if I were you, I'd have that conversation now!

I'd bring up the subject with the BF and tell him flat out your position... it doesn't have to be a hard conversation, just lead with "Oh, I was reading the other day where this guy surprised his girl with an engagement ring, and though she loves him, she doesn't love the ring at all! Can you believe it? I feel so bad for her, and for him too. If it were me, I'd really want input on the ring I would be wearing for the rest of my life."
 

wakingdreams53

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2010
Messages
891
Great advice marymm!! Definitely nonchalant input is necessary, especially if he's really into it being a surprise. Perhaps show him, completely unpressuringly, a ring you "came across" thats really YOU. My only warning is to not let a jeweler change YOUR image into THEIR image. I LOVE my engagement ring, but I wish I stood my ground a little more. Now with all the input I had, to tell FI that is harder than if I had no input at all. YKWIM?
 

Julysnight

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2013
Messages
50
ThAnk you for all for all of your input. I started hinting yesterday, I brought it up in the morning and he seemed interested in hearing what I had to say. It is so hard not to be blunt about it. I am slowly going to try and bring the subject up and help him out without ruining the surprise. I should have done this months ago, hopefully it's not too late.
 
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