Stand by your man.

[bubbly1126]

So I feel really bad for my BF.

He just started a new job as a Corrections Officer in August and let''s just say, he hates it.

I feel really bad because he was so excited for this new position and now it''s just not at all what he thought and has dreaded going to work for the past 1-2 weeks.

We sat down and had a talk about it the other night. He told me he didn''t know what to do because he really wants to give this a good shot and not just jump the gun and not really give it time BUT he just doesn''t see it getting any better. It''s not that the job is hard at all, actually, his main complaint is that he doesn''t do anything. He feels like a glorified babysitter and he hates it. If there is one thing I know about my BF it''s that he HAS to be constantly on the go. If he''s off for a couple days at a time he goes CRAZY if he doesn''t have something to do each day. He''s just that type of person and I guess these past 2 months or so haven''t really been as action-packed as he would like. (He knew it wouldn''t be exciting every day but he also didn''t forsee it being this boring, which is the problem.)

He also said that he could go back to his old job at the same prison that he works for now, but we''d take a major pay-cut. Like 10k a year less, which makes a huge difference for us. This is the only thing that''s stopping him from resigning as a CO and taking his other job back. (His old job is held for him for up to one year so it would not be an issue.)

Hearing this obviously made me realize that a proposal will be far off for us if he does decide to go back to his old job... but you know what? I don''t care. The only thing that truly matters to me is his happiness and I told him so. I told him "don''t think about the money, don''t think about anything other than what is going to make you happy. You can''t wake up every day and dread going to work. It''s not healthy for you and in turn is not healthy for your day to day relationships. It causes unnecessary stress and when it comes down to it, it''s not worth it. I will support you in whatever you decide to do and I don''t want you to ever feel bad or anything about whatever decision that you do make. You have to be happy so do whatever it is that is going to make you truly happy."

He looked as if he were about to cry and said "thank you. I truly appreciate that." He also decided to joke around and say "you''d support me even if I wanted to join the coast guard?" I said yes, but that if he really wanted to do that then I didn''t want to wait to get married, I wanted to do it right now. He smiled and said okay. LoL. (Not sure what that was about... or if he truly wants to and was just feeling me out on the topic...) But then later on he said he didn''t think he could because he wouldn''t want to be away from me for long periods of time and that 8 hours a day is a bit too much as is. Aww. He''s so sweet. Hehe.

Oh, I don''t know. Things are just so up and down career-wise with us both so I guess I''m really not expecting a proposal for a couple more years. Ohh well, all in due time. It''ll happen when it''s meant to and in the mean time, I''m just going to keep sticking by and supporting my man.

 

[somethingshiny]

Bubbly~

I''m sorry you''re going through this rough time. I wanted to post because I have a friend who is a Corrections Officer. He kind of fell into the job. He had never considered it before. But, when he started, he got really depressed about the whole thing. He is the same way as your BF, has to be doing something. So, he decided to transfer to a Juvenile Corrections Center. (I don''t know if there was a pay difference) But, he''s much happier. He still feels like he''s babysitting, but he has more hope for these kids than he did for the prisoners. He''s also been able to have some programs implemented for the kids. (I know, completely off his job description!) They''ve worked on everything from a new rec room, to a book club, to gardening. Now he has fulfillment within his employment.

I hope it all works out for you.

BTW- I don''t think we''ve ever "talked" before. So, nice to meet you.

 

[bubbly1126]

Date: 10/27/2007 9:28:36 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Bubbly~

I''m sorry you''re going through this rough time. I wanted to post because I have a friend who is a Corrections Officer. He kind of fell into the job. He had never considered it before. But, when he started, he got really depressed about the whole thing. He is the same way as your BF, has to be doing something. So, he decided to transfer to a Juvenile Corrections Center. (I don''t know if there was a pay difference) But, he''s much happier. He still feels like he''s babysitting, but he has more hope for these kids than he did for the prisoners. He''s also been able to have some programs implemented for the kids. (I know, completely off his job description!) They''ve worked on everything from a new rec room, to a book club, to gardening. Now he has fulfillment within his employment.

I hope it all works out for you.

BTW- I don''t think we''ve ever ''talked'' before. So, nice to meet you.

Thanks so much for your input and it is very nice to meet you, too!

BF works for NY State Corrections. I''m not sure how Juvenile Centers are offiliated... is in, if they are State as well. But I will mention that to him and see if it is because that could always be an option. I now he''s looked into the closest City Jail to us and it''s pretty bad there and while it does pay more (go figure, city pays more than state? doesn''t make sense to me! lol), he''s not sure if he wants to work in such an environment every day. (And plus, with a state job, you have security and stability.)

I''m going to mention that to him though... see how all that works in NY. I just want him to be happy in what he does so any input is greatly appreciated!

Thanks again!

 

[LazyDaisy]

Bubbly, I am so sorry you and your BF are going through such a difficult time. I think it says a lot about your relationship, though, that you are only concerned for his happiness and that he can truly feel that support. However long it may take to get down the aisle, when two people are really focused on what''s good for one another, the relationship is sure to last forever. I hope his current job will surprise him and get better, but if not he''s a lucky man to have someone like you by his side.