SO's Parents visiting. I feel anxious.

[Julysnight]

My SO's parents visit him once a year. I met them for the first time last year over the Christmas Holiday. Lovely couple. I really like them. I got to visit with them on christmas eve and one other day before they left. The second day I saw them, my SO asked me to cook dinner. I am Latina and he is Italian so he wanted me to make an authentic Latin dish. His parents really enjoyed it, all the food was gone. I had a really nice time during our first meeting. Now that they are back and we are set to see each other again, I feel even more nervous than the last time. This time they will meet my two children. I am worried they might not be as nice to my children as they were to me. I don't see why they wouldn't be but as a Mother, I feel very protective of them. I'm worried that if they make any weird faces or comments that make me feel like they are not accepting of them, I'm not going to like his parents anymore. I don't want that to happen. I am so anxious, I almost cancelled our plans to see them tomorrow. Not making things easier, my SO insists I spend as much time as possible with his parents. In a way, it makes me feel good because it is a sign our relationship is progressing and there might be a ring soon, but I still can't shake the jitters. When my SO met my Parents, he had it easy because my Mom is as sweet as sugar, and my step dad was born and raised in Italy so he liked my SO before he even met him. Plus, my SO doesn't have any children from previous relationships so he can not relate. I need some words of wisdom on dealing with possible future in laws and blending families.

 

[missy]

Aww Julysnight, don't be nervous. Your first meeting with them went so well you have no reason to think otherwise for this next meeting. Remember they want to make a good impression on you as well. Their son loves you and wants to make a life with you and your children so they will be on best behavior most likely and who wouldn't love your children? No reason they wouldn't and while it is totally understandable to be nervous try not to let it overtake your thoughts and just be yourself. Their son loves you and your children and they will too. I bet they bring gifts for your children also...in fact maybe you can buy little gifts to give them from your children as a nice gesture with the holidays coming up? Just a thought but either way I am sure it will go smoothly.

 

[JulieN]

Don't worry! People are almost always nice to children, there is no reason to think they wouldn't be.

 

[Julysnight]

Thank you for the positive comments!!!

Everything went well. We went to a Buddhist temple. It is Such a peaceful and beautiful place! After our tour, we had Dinner and then went to have smoothies. We all had a really nice time. I am so glad this is over. All the first meetings have been completed with both of our families. I feel like I can breathe easy now.

Now if I could just get my SO to talk about engagement rings then everything would be perfect. My SO still has not taken me ring shopping, still has not asked me what my ring size is, and has not asked me what type of ring I would want.We did have a conversation about getting engaged this year, but that conversation was 6 months ago. After that conversation, i never brought it up again because we both agreed we are on the same page plus I do not want to be a nag about it.Part of me is hopeful he has not brought up rings because he wants to surprise me, but another part is worried he has cold feet, changed his mind, needs more time and is simply not planning to propose any time soon. I am going to try and focus on all the great and positive things in our relationship, but the honest truth is that all of this wondering makes me anxious. I am also going to wait until after the Holidays to bring it up again. I hope I don't have to though, I'm not looking forward to that discussion.

 

[missy]

Glad it went well for you! I would recommend just enjoying the holidays and not thinking about engagement etc. Because then you won't be disappointed and perhaps you will be pleasantly surprised. No expectations equals peace and happiness especially during the holidays. Again, there is no reason to expect he has gotten cold feet. You guys discussed engagement so you are heading towards marriage. If he had changed his mind why have your children meet his family? That wouldn't make sense so my guess is he wants to surprise you. So just sit back and relax and allow yourself to live in the moment. It will happen. Happy holidays to all of you.

 

[Julysnight]

Thank you missy. I will try my very best not to worry about engagement stuff and enjoy the holidays.

Happy Holidays to you you as well!