Pre-Proposal Panic
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by MissErin » January 7th, 2008, 7:52 am
First of all - YAY!! This sounds VERY exciting!!
Secondly - Get busy darling!! The more you think about it, the more it will drive you INSANE!! So go out and do something. Go get Hawaii stuff, go shopping, hang with your girls, indulge in a hobby and so on - whatever it may be, do it quick!! You are going to psych yourself out so much it will eat you away. :) Thirdly (is that even a word??) - Try to transfer the anxious feelings into just loving the next couple of weeks as a gf. It's getting to be the last days of it and you don't want to lose sight of how lovely it is to be that - considering it will never happen again. Why worry?? What will that serve you?? It will just cause stress in a time that should be more blissful then anything else. You're going to Hawaii with the man you love - You're a VERY lucky gal. Just know it will all work out the way it is supposed to and enjoy it. :) I can't wait to hear what happens and see the pictures. :) |
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Hi!
boy that must be nerve racking. I guess all i can say is just relax (easier said than done) and have fun. If it does happen, i think no matter what the cirumstances are, you will be over the moon excited. If it doesnt happen, he did surprise you with a beautiful trip after all :) good luck, we will all be cheering for you! |
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Designchica,
I was worried about the exact same thing. Especially, about how I would react. I'm not a very emotional person and feared I do something along the lines of smiling and saying "sure". As you can tell by my engagement post, I need not have worried. I was a blubbering mess. I had all sorts of ideas on how it would be done/how I would react/ etc. But in the end, the emotion of the man you love asking you to marry him will win out over anything else, so don't worry. Go get a mani and pedi, take a trip to the gym/walk/mall/art studio..etc., whatever it is that you absolutely love to do, and invision yourself in Hawaii... 
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*awe* This made me tear up a little bit because it is so true. :) And YES to the mani/pedi appointment. :) I hear it works wonders in the ring department. hehe |
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ooh how exciting! I felt the same way before D took me on my trip away. I was in college and had a huge exam coming up so the keeping busy thing was kept under control, but it was still nerve wrecking knowing that it was coming. Get your mani/pedi done, and enjoy it. There is no way you can plan how you''re going to be when the moment comes. I wasn''t sure how I''d react, but I just smiled like an idiot and said yes. All of our photos, the two of us have these huge smiles. It won''t be awkward at all, it''s so great when you''re looking at him proposing to you. As for not liking the ring, I''m sure that you will and if not, we''ll deal with that when you come back
 Best of luck!
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To try and distract you for a minute or so... What island are you going to?? Do you have set plans?? Have you been there before?? Is it just the two of you?? |
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Thanks ladies for the replies and encouragement. I don''t know what I do without this forum. I lurked for a LONG time before joining and haven''t posted a lot, but I do read through a lot of posts and it helps to know I''m not alone!
Miss Erin, How sweet of you to distract me with questions. :) We are going to Kauai, just the two of us and neither of us have been to that island before. We have some set plans, a couple of ziplining and kayaking and hiking tours. Oh, we also have a helicopter ride too and a half-day at a spa for massages and facials. The rest of the time we are going to play it by ear, do some shopping, lay by the pool....get engaged (hehe, just had to throw that in there as a hopeful wish). Regardless of what happens or doesn''t happen, we are going to have a great trip! He even splurged on first class plane tickets which is going to be quite an experience, I''ve never flown first class! I hear you get free Dom Perignon so I plan to take full advantage of that. :) |
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Wow this sounds AMAZING!! And being that it is your first time it will make it that much more memorable. hehe Well that and a certain shinny something... hehe I think the ziplining will be extrordinary!! And the spa day - I can already hear the "ahhhhh''s" from it. hehe It sounds like a wonderful trip overall. :) Make sure to take TONS of pictures to show us when you get back because whether he proposes or not (even though I thinks its a YES) it will be love in paradise. :) Oh and enjoy that first class treatment - it''s only a dream to me since I have never been. hehe |
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What a roller coaster of emotions I''ve been on these past few weeks. Just when I am almost certain he is going to propose in Hawaii and was overcome with joy, excitement, panic...those feelings have now been replaced with doubt, disappointment, and embarassment. Ugh. I no longer think he is going to propose and I feel downright silly.
Although he put a lot of planning into the airline tickets, hotel, and daytime activities, he has put zero effort into making any dinner reservations or planning anything for the evenings. Last night he asked me if there is a beach near our hotel (and for some reason in my head I had him proposing to me on the beach at night after dinner). When he asked that, my heart sank and I thought to myself, "he''s got nothing planned as far as a proposal goes". Let''s focus on the positive though. What''s great about me feeling disappointed now rather than on the trip is that I get it out of my system and can focus on having a good time with him in Hawaii and any feelings of resentment, disappointment, etc. can be dealt with now so that I do not ruin what could and should be an amazing trip. He''s a wonderful guy who is spoiling me rotten with an extravagant trip and he deserves nothing short of a grateful and happy girlfriend who is appreciative of what he has given her. |
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Thanks for checking in Miss Erin. :) I am so excited about the trip and am feeling pretty neutral regarding whether I think he will propose or not. I am not as certain as I was a few weeks ago, nor am I as doubtful as I was last week. The past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster but I think my emotions have finally levelled off and I''m in a more relaxed wait and see what happens mode. I think I actually reached some kind of LIW burnout mode over the weekend where I didn''t even want to think about engagement, wedding, or anything related and it was a nice break from the otherwise obsessive thinking that has consumed me the past month! I''ve also decided that even if he does not propose on our trip, I feel great about the relationship. It was only a few months ago that he told me he was not ready for marriage but since that time he has given me a lot of indication that he is much closer to being ready and more comfortable with the idea and more importantly, he''s crazy in love with me and me with him! So even if a proposal isn''t coming this week, I do feel that it is A LOT closer than I thought possible just a few months ago. We are headed in the right direction and I could not have said that a few months ago. We leave at 3 a.m. on Thursday morning and I will report back as soon as I have access to a computer! :) |
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Well I have to take my hat off to you. :) You are very strong and someone a lot of LsIW could gain perspective from. I think you are in the best place possible for this trip. Not too anxious but still VERY happy to be with the love of your life. It''s something I tend to re discover during my own breakdowns here and there. Just a simple look from Eric can say so much and all the talk about a ring just fades away and thoughts of being with him for the rest of my life gain a spotlight. I really am excited for your trip. I think you''re going to have the best time and if a proposal does happen it will only enhance a very romantic trip both of you will never forget. I have a lot of respect for you and can''t wait to hear all about it when you come back. I know it will be perfect in more ways then one and thats all that matters. Oh, and no thanks needed - I wanted to "check on you" because I love reading your LIW details since they seem to relate to mine in more then one way. :) |
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I went to the nail salon and got a pedicure and a manicure today. I kept looking down at my finger imagining what it *might* look like in just a few short days.
 My nerves are kicking in, boyfriend is acting strange...agh! Things are crazy right now. I just want things to be normal again so we can get on with our lives. Ring or no ring, things have got to get back to normal. I''ve fallen so behind at work because all I can think about is this proposal!! Its driving me insane. I''m off to the gym to work some of this nervous energy off. |
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So maybe he''ll propose right before you leave? Or maybe he''s just trying to throw you off.... Nervous anticipation is not necessarily a bad thing! Right now you''re driving yourself crazy, but after all is said and done, you''re going to look back and chuckle over how stressed you were, I promise. Try to enjoy this excitement while it lasts...you only live once! My proposal came as a complete surprise...I knew he was looking at rings but had no idea a proposal might be coming. That is, until I came home from work one Saturday and he told me we were going downtown on a dinner date. We lived in an apt. at the time, and while I was in the shower in our master bathroom, I could hear him on his cell outside on the balcony telling someone "tonight''s the night." Hmmm...I started freaking out right then and there, I was a mess from that point on. Long story short, we went to his plan A location, it was entirely too packed, so we hopped in a cab and started traveling towards a place we''d been the night we met. It was in the cab when I started mentally practicing my "game face," just in case a proposal was not actually going to happen. When it did indeed happen, I can''t tell you if the tears were of relief or joy, I think they were a mix of both. And for the record, I liked my ring! Everything will work out for you, designchica! Good luck!
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best of luck! Don''t worry if he doesn''t have anything planned. D said that when he was planning to do it he was just going to do it when it felt right rather than a certain place so maybe your bf is doing the same. I hope that it happens for you on the holidays. If not, you''ll have an amazing time.
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Thanks ladies for the replies. I was pretty upset last night and did not sleep well but woke up determined to put my energy into getting excited about a trip that does not involve a proposal. We leave at 3 a.m. tomorrow so I don''t have a lot of time but I need a serious attitude adjustment in the next 20 hours because right now I am really bummed out. I''ve got to let go of the disappointment between now and then.
What''s good about finding this out now is that at least now I won''t be completely wound up in Hawaii waiting every second for a proposal. At least now I can focus on just relaxing and having a good time. |
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I just want to tell you to enjoy your trip, Designchica!! You''re going to have a wonderful time--I just got back from Hawaii on Monday afternoon. Once you get there you''ll have such a great time that you won''t be able to help but relax and enjoy yourself!
So long as you are content in your relationship, the proposal on this trip is irrelevant. Your bf sounds very thoughtful and caring, I think this trip will mean a lot to both of you regardless of the outcome. Have a wonderful time!!! (PS--when DH proposed on our vacation he kept the ring in his pocket--no need for a carryon! You NEVER know what he has planned!) |
